All Comments on 'Free Ch. 04'

I really enjoyed your story. One of the better ones I’ve read lately.

A great story which kept me engaged to the end. It also brought home to me how difficult it must be for people with criminal convictions to go straight. I liked that the couple forgave each other as I don’t like the revenge contained in traditional BTB stories. Well done!

That was excellent

Well worth the price of admission!

Thank you!

Amazing story thanks so much.

Once Manny changes to a Guilty plea, he would be sentenced to prison forthwith. He might get killed before being transported, during the transfer or once he was in a maximum security prison. But he would NOT be cut up and tossed in a river!

5*

I liked it

Step-Mom, Daughter, MC and the Villain where flashed out woderfull.

Even Traci, but her motivation for cheating didn´t make much sense to me.

Her reasoning reads like a hot, nasty but short lifed session of lust/anger driffen stupidity (e.g. her anger issues with Rick going to prison), but such raw emotions don´t suffice for more than a couple of... well couplings. Two years of permanent cheating... I miss a good explanation for that kind of behavior (and maaaaybe also how Rick could forgive her).

I mean two years, thats more than anger...

Such a cliché plot, yet, turned masterfully into a very nice story. 5* for your superb writing skills.

is that it had to end. Very good. I enjoyed it a lot. It is a shame I can only give it 5 stars, it deserves more.

Thank you for your hard work and dedication.

Woodmanone

Traci was a whore.

And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love, you make. (apologies to P Mc). Thanks for the well told yarn mate, and for the things we all should know, now reminded.

Makes me want to vomit. She is pissed at her husband because he went to jail for an evil person so she goes and fucks an evil person willingly and then whines about her husband when he finds her disgusting? This story is written well but it's a hot mess of disgusting vile people. Maybe it's real but I need a shower. That kid needs to be taken away from both of them ASAP. She is a whore and he is a sociopath. Fuck this story. -starsong77

Tough storyline to work with. Beaten to death (!) by Hollywood, slathered with clichés, buried in hype and yet you fashioned something out of it. Your characters stayed consistent throughout. Well done. A welcome break from all of the LW stories featuring glib lawyers, entitled wives, big bank accounts, and second homes with water front. Thank you very much.

LWlurker

Traci is a hohoho!

Second time through and still a fantastic story.

I'm just not buying Traci. The truly backstabbing, vile, long term affair was insane and made her pretty much irredeemable by itself but what the duck did she ever really do to earn a reconciliation or even a chance at it? She stopped fucking Manny after two fucking years of blatantly betraying her husband while playing the faithful wife when she visited. Big fucking deal.

Traci didn't earn shit while Rick truly reformed and saved his family.

Traci was just too vile in her betrayal and absolutely lacking in redeemable qualities and actions to buy what jav was trying to sell about her.

Her bullshit line about choosing Rick was shown for the lie it was from the beginning.

She was a fairweather girl. She loved being with Rick and wouldn't be with others but take him away for a while and she was Manny's whore.

Even though I believe he had a strike out with the Traci character, jav is still my favorite author.

good story

5starrs

Excellent story, a real page turner. It seemed realistic, despite the violent background - because it read like the script of a TV program. Of course you can argue about the characters and their part in the story, but in the end it is just a story, a very good story and an enjoyable read. Well done.

Agree with other comments below regarding Traci's character. Just a slut with no forgivable qualities given the length of betrayal (mind you, once would have been enough). He should have dumped the cheating cunt and moved on.

5 stars, totally engaging, thoughtfully written and well paced. Thanks for sharing. As a footnote, I am currently in the middle chemo and gems like this help to take my mind of it for hour or two. So once again, thanks.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Thank you!!

One of the best LW stories of all time. Unique with its plot, very good characters and author really captured the psychotic nature of Childs. Thank you so much. 5

Great story very captivating draws you in and makes feel part of the story

An impressive piece of writing that has the added bonus of really pissing off the Literotica Taliban - but alas I can only give it 5.

LA

Hi,

I really like the way you write your stories, the fact that its more than RAAC or BTB.

Keep it up!

Traci is one of those women who need a man. If you're there, she'll be loyal to you. If you aren't, she loses her anchor and gravitates to the nearest body. That's how she is, and if Rick accepts that weakness of her, and takes measures not to leave her vulnerable again, I don't see a problem with that.

Now Anya... she's too dumb to be 7 years old. I wonder if Anya of Spy x Family is based on her. Too much of a coincidence...

Great story

Read them all the way through - you could write scrips for tv series

Looking forward to some of the other multi stories

I gave it a 4. I read them all and it was a nice story. Still have some errors in them. Like extra a's and a few sentences that need some commas. All in all it was very good

Touched me, and I'm neither an ex-con, or a drug dealer. Well written, Thanks.

This touched me also,the fact you had readers to the point they overlooked she was having an affair for over 4 years with a man that he was in jail for protecting. A man she knew he considered his best friend. That is terrific tale telling to have readers accept that and him taking her back. I guess some readers live in la la land..Aside from that,its well written and a good tale...5 stars...keep up the realism in your stories...JZK

Great storytelling.

I think the author really strained credulity with a reconciliation after a two year long affair with his criminal boss (and the person he chose to protect by not being a snitch). Two years is a loooong time (1.5 years after Rick went to prison and stopped six months before early release at 4 years) and she would have apparently done it longer if the full sentence had happened. That is rough. Yes she was lonely and we learned she did it to get back at her husband for not rolling over state evidence. But are those really reasons to have a loooong affair with his best friend and villainous boss. Instead with such a long affair she comes off as a slut. Who first does it because she is sick of her vibrator and hates being alone and is pissed off at Rick being in jail. Grow up! She knew his lifestyle and chose him. It is sweet that she chose him again but really two years of doing the nasty repeatedly. Obviously the affair got easier as it went on. And I am sure she loves Rick (or thinks she does) and we have her own thoughts to attest that she kept thinking of Rick and calling out his name as she climaxed on Mannie's prick. But do you really think she maintained that level of desire for her husband over two years? No intimacies. No shared moments. No emotions (though Mannie is a real piece of work). If it had been like a couple month affair in more recent times, then maybe. But despite the deus ex machina of the counselling, for which we have no insight into what was said or how the tension was resolved, it seems really unlikely that a husband could forgive that long of an affair. Still a good read. But doesn't seem like it would happen. He was in prison and yes she was humiliated when they lost everything and her husband chose to not snitch, but she had 18 months to get over that before she decided to seduce Mannie. And the point her is that the 2 years was with Mannie! Not some random nice guy. So yeah good luck with that. Think a shorter intense affair without the inevitable emotional attachments (for the wife; not Mannie as he isn't capable of such attachments) would have been easier to suggest a reconciliation. But two years while he was in prison. Wow. Just get a divorce and move on. Of course she thought that Rick would never know. Stupid. After all why she ever trusted Mannie to keep her secret is beyond belief. I guess the wife thinks with her small head too. Disappointing. But still good writing.

A salient virtue of your writing is simple humanity of it, in all it's complicated contradictions. It's the story of allof us at times or, in another time line, a path we could be on.

This story marks my completion of all your work on this,site.

Thank you for your gift to us.

-highcountryrider

A good well written story. Almost believable.

Re the comments about the length of the affair.

She was betrayed and hurt. She deliberately chose Manny as in her own mind it would be just revenge against her husband for deserting her and choosing loyalty to Manny over his love for her.

Once you start tasting forbidden fruit it it becomes harder to resist after each taste. So how could she stop. More importantly why would she stop. She would have very little incentive to try and stop. Rick is still choosing Manny over her. Manny is still a very real presence in her life. And Manny is a skilled seducer and a bully who knows how to get what he wants,

I think the more pertinent question would be why did Manny persist so long with the affair.

He had gotten what he wanted. Why did he not just dump her like he did the seemingly endless train of women passing through his life.

Well... bloody... done.

No cardboard cutout characters here. All of us have good and bad in our nature, if you don't think that's true you're delusional.

A guy like Rick is almost impossible in real life though. A hard man, an enforcer for a truly evil, sociopathic murderous drug boss... who manages to keep his integrity? Now that's a character who belongs in Narnia... riding unicorns.

But it was a great story and kept me riveted. Yes, there was a 'loving wife', but by the virtue of your protagonist, they were bound to reconcile. That's fine, they both knew they would do right by each other going forward and share a worthwhile life, and if nothing else, the daughter truly deserved a fighting chance at a happy life, so the outcome was 100% fine with me, and I'm a BTB fan.

Great complexity, great action, and a happy outcome, plus you gave us the best character of them all in this story...

Martha.

Very good story, thanks

Man, did I like this! Gritty, and yet redemptive. Well told. Thank you very much.

Its a complete story. Could be a movie.

It has the drama, the romance, the thrill, and the family.

Loved it.

5

Great characterization. For me, the early love story is fantastic, the gang stuff mundane. I skipped around after Traci was threatened.

The commenter from six months ago with the comment starting with "I think the author strained credulity" makes some good points and aptly summarizes how I felt the first time I read this story. But reading it a second time, my stance has softened. Traci really was lost. A d she didn't have the virtue of a loyal military wife. It just isn't who she is. She was utterly obsessed and devoted (in her isn't way) to a man who she loved deeply but hurt her terribly and she was cut off from (though as an aside, did she ever go visit him, did he deny her access, sad almost no states still have conjugal visits due to budget cuts, thatbis fucking criminal) while he was in prison for refusing to roll on Manny. I can understand her feeling of betrayal. He chose Manny (really his street reputation and honor) over her and her daughter. She was also lonely. In a moment of weakness and revenge she seduced Manny. Why 18 months later? Because she probably had to let the impact of everything settle, no legal recourse, did Manny want her to stop visiting because it hurt too much?, and maybe it took that long for her to learn about what Rick could have done to avoid jail time. Not to mention she was under financial duress. Yes it was a mistake. And it got easier with time. But it really was just sex. The prior commenter thought she had an emotional commitment with Manny. That is wrong. If you see her inner thoughts, she always felt empty and lonely afterwards. She used Manny over time, first as revenge, then later as comfort, to briefly ease the pain of being separated from Rick. And besides Manny os not capable of an emotional attachment. So no, there was no emotional affair. And yes she easily could have picked up a white collar guy and left Rick with a divorce. Is she a saint? Hell no. That is closest portrayed by Martha her mother. Is she human? Yes. Moreover, she immediately stopped when learning Rick woukd be getting out sooner. From Rick's side, the choice of who she fucked (repeatedly, as in hundreds of times) makes it worse because he went to jail out of loyalty for Manny. And also Manny was (he thought) a friend, who then stabbed him in the back. I do agree though that Traci was an idiot to think Manny would keep the secret. And besides others around Manny would know. So that was a serious flaw in her thinking. She did not process what happened well at all. But 95% of women would have found some other man entirely or just left Rick to rot in jail. So she was technically more "loyal" than those women. I mean before BTB fans get indignant, if she had run off with another man and gotten married to a white collar guy, would anyone have blamed her? Isn't that thr smart move? But she loves Rick to death and I am certain that had Rick gone to jail without the possibility of rolling state's evidence on Manny with no recourse and hence did not "cheat first" by choosing Manny over Traci (her own words), things would have played out differently. She might have dated a bit and rolled around in the hay a few times (remember only four states have conjugal visits) to cut off the edge and not go crazy. But she would have probably stayed 'mostly' loyal with one night stands. Instead she felt the need for payback, got some comfort, and more or less a sugar daddy to help her daughter. Is it dark and twisted? Sad? Yes, but it was a mess for all people. And except for Manny, they deserve a chance to make things work..her words that she would "choose him again" are quote powerful. And I am sure more would.come out in counseling. How he wanted to be the "wolf". How his pride cost him time with his family. How she hurt badly when learning the truth and got revenge. How there was no emotional attachment. Just fucking someone who you actually don't like and are a bit scared of doesn't mean you fall for that person, regardless of the sex bringing you pleasure. Does it soften how you woukd view that person? Sure. But it doesn’t mean you love the person or are even falling "in love" with the person. Depends on the circumstances. Instead in herbeyes, Manny turned into someone who had been Rick's scary friend, into what she thought was her friend, even though Manny is not capable of such human relationships, and was a poor choice for her revenge. All of that would come out in counseling if they agreed to be honest with each other. So I have changed my opinion on the reconciliation, and agree it is warranted and glad to see Rick redeemed and with his family. Great story!!

Great story the characters make sense and that is all that matters.

Well, I think you do deserve a “Well Done!” for this one. Really enjoyed it! Thank you for the effort. I appreciate it.

re-read, again I like all the characters and the plot, except for "Tracy", she is still the flaw that sticks to this story. No real justification for 2 years of cheating, 2 years of lying to him, no plot line or Carthartian moment that makes the ending less irritating when it comes to her.

Great!

we need more chapter about fufu and her offspring

Well done a very good read. It got mushy at the end but that didn't effect the story. Thanks for sharing.

This was a highly successful submission...fuck the critics of RAAC endings. I wasn't sure myself where Rick and Manny would end up, but your plot direction was well chosen

I do not have the words to express how much I enjoyed this story. To say that I thought it was the best story I’ve read on this site, and there have been many, does not convey the the sense of discovery and joy of reading this perfectly written story. I suspect this one will be hard to top but I will continue with the rest of your efforts.

Thanks!

I reread this just as intently as I did the first time! These people are flawed, but utterly worthwhile. Every scene feels real, both the gritty and the sweet. What a fine story! Thank you Javmor.

I just discovered your work and ate this whole story up in an evening I was oblivious to the outside world much to my wife's displeasure.I don't agree with Tracy's reasoning in being unfaithful but your the writer and you need to have it in the story to make it interesting ,and you did a good job of explaining her thinking even if I don't agree with it .Fantastic story I absolutely loved it I think your right up there as one of my favourite authors now .Well done 5⭐️👌👍

It isn’t explicitly said, but these characters, with the exception of the parole officer are Black. Unfortunately, Black people are portrayed badly in most literature and drama. They are flat characters. Either good or evil, but have a one dimensionality that is almost comical. The author doesn’t do that here. He paints a very real picture of people with complex motives and desires caught in an impossible web of poverty and criminality. I am not Black, but I grew up in an intercity neighborhood that was mostly Black. I came to understand Black people were pretty much like white folks. They just had the burdens of poverty, prejudice, and the legacy of slavery on their shoulders. This story was exceptionally well written. Javmor79 is a superb writer. One of the best on this site. An easy five stars.

Second time through. Excellent writing.

Excellent, thank you. It's an interesting dilemma, wife seeks cock whilst husband is serving a long sentence. Whe you think about it, it really must happen more often than not. Women married to dubious characters are unlikely to take on the persona of a nun when their mate is incarcerated. I suppose many carerr crims either knock the wife about and leave her or accept it as just another occupational hazard , just like years behind bars.

Good story. 5/5

A great story, nicely thought out, paced at , to my mind, the right pace from start to finish, character set chosen well, more sex? To my mind yes, but you wrote it.

A truly fine story. Unlike most of what we see here, this story is insightful, mature, and well executed. I do wish authors would write parents who are more thoughtful than to use video, and especially Disney, as a babysitter.

Thank you!

LOVED the gangsta shit. Made me think of the show 'Power'

Great story. I hope you keep writing.

My thoughts are that Traic wasn't a ride or die chick. She was cool with Rob when she was spending his money but the moment he went down she started fucking another man for the flimsiest of reasons. If she was lonely she could have spent time with another man without fucking him. Instead, she chose to fuck another man for years. Although Manny was a psychopath incapable of intimacy and love, Traci must have formed an emotional attachment to him betraying Rob on every single level possible. Seeing and interacting with someone frequently creates a bond, fucking that person hundreds of times while her husband was suffering in prison must have caused her to have feelings for him. She did him dirty, and he shouldn't have taken her back.

This was a great story! It started out along an almost rxpected scenario then turned into something else entirely. Keep it up!

Nice Story. Cleary Martha's role in the story was a nice touch. Thanks

Fuckin A

Great story. I couldn't stop still I finished it. Some spelling and grammar errors but this is an amateur site, right? Easy to read flow. Good Job!

Pardon vs parole.

Pardon, you're done, it's great like you completed all of your sentence.

Parole, you're let out of prison early but still need to behave and deal with a parole officer.

FANTASTIC FUCKING STIRY!!! To paraphrase 'Buster2U' 10 Blazing big stars. If I could give more, I would. But I can't afford it. The Bear loved it. It has become one of my favorite stories. I kept waiting for some shit to happen and spoil everything. Sorry, but this is 'Loving Wives', and crap happens to the good guys. And Rick and Traci are good guys. Not perfect, human. I love them. They are so good. And the way they wound up, is just perfect. And the mother-in-law- definitely not the textbook mother-in-law. Great character development. All in all, a great story, and as I said, one of my favorites. Please, keep writing. Don't worry about personal shit- we all have them. Sometimes I wonder how I get out of bed in the morning (Or in the afternoon. I am retired.) hang in there. Again, LOVED IT!!

The BEAR

Loved it now marked as a favourite. The character development was great and the story flowed, pulling me to make sure I read it in one go. Thanks for the work you put into it.

Too bad he left prison just to end up with a hoe!!! I guess life isn't all happy endings

Just great. Thank you.