All Comments on 'Friday's Short Story Series Pt. 02: "Dawn"'

Using your thumb, the first time in the parking lot then trading it for something more substantial.

That was first time hot.

"(!)"

It's a very hot story but you do need to proofread. I'm guessing you meant her long black hair? The word hair is missing. There are a couple of other errors as well, it just makes it a bit jarring to read.