All Comments on 'Friendly Agreement'

The writing and grammar are horrible. It may have been a cute story if I could have continued reading without having to mentally rewrite it so it made sense. I see you're new, so I'll cut you some slack, do yourself a favor, get an editor or three. It wasn't a stupid cuck, or racist bbc story so bravo, I gave it a 3 with hopes you'll do better in the future.

Not bad. I would have preferred more details with each time he took her and in the different ways but that’s my personal preference.

Anonymous - Apologies. I will run through and see if I can get a revised version posted.

I love the story! It's really cute and I love the fact that you made consent a big part of it! Because it's an important factor to your first time, how kinky it may be;) There where some spelling errors, but nothing to bad! Ask someone or use a website to proofread it:)

It had the makings of a good story but the grammar and spelling is ruining it. May I recommend the services of one of the editors on this site.

You need an editor in a bad way!

BAD grammar / editing. Vaguely non-consensual. Almost a bad BDSM story. Her motivations? Nice idea but didn't quite get there. And the condomless sex? Seemed rape-y almost. Just not quite there. 2 stars. Better luck next time or try a rewrite.

The concept was good, but the bad writing was too much of a distraction.

A couple of the other readers have commented that they liked your story. But I'll never know because I only read it about as far as to the place where Scott called Mae over to discuss the 3 page contract with him. By the time that I got there, I was too frustrated to continue reading it.

Character Dialog is never mixed between two characters in the same paragraph. Fortunately, you did use the quotation marks to separate the two even though the lines were back to back immediately after each other. I managed to parse that out with very little trouble.

But your scenes jump all over the place! For instance, Mae comes over to Scott's unsettled and then they watch a movie together. But without any warning at all, Scott suddenly has a three page contract for Mae to sign so that he can take her to a Cabin upstate and pop her cherry. You eventually can figure out that these two events happen several days apart and should be considered separate scenes, but you didn't write it down that way. 😠

I wish that I could have read through the whole story. 😕 2/5