Friends for Dinner

My head tussled with the imagery of my wife and her best friend "sorting each other out". What did that even mean?

"You want details, don't you? There's a wisp of smoke coming from your ear."

I'm so idiotic I reflexively tugged my earlobe.

She rolled her eyes. "If I tell you, I'll probably get quite excited. You might have to... calm me down. Again. Then you'll be excited, and what then?"

"I'd love to, Roz. But I felt like a creep with Kate yesterday, when she was so honest with me while I held back on her. We shouldn't do it again."

Roz growled. "You're right. It was different yesterday, wasn't it? She had Stephanie, so it was only fair you had your fun too." She looked up and appeared to blink back tears, though looking back on it, her eyes were dry. "I'm happy for you both, but I don't know what feels worse for me: never having sex or finding great sex, with a trusted friend, and then losing it."

She dropped her head and sniffed. I was on my feet in a heartbeat, wrapping my arms around her. She sagged into my embrace. "I guess..." She wiped her cheek on my shirt--but left no damp. "Kate still has Stephanie... So... you could still have me? If you like?"

Oh, Fuck it all. Just this once. I picked her up and plonked her on the breakfast bar. She made no objection. I lifted her skirt and spread her knees. Her white cotton knickers were plushy from her fulsome mound and spotted with damp.

"You tell me about your sex with my wife." I pressed my palm to her squishy gusset. "I'll take care of things down here."

Roz's cheeks blazed, and she could hardly speak for grinning. "Very kind-oh!"

I pulled her gusset aside to kiss her podgy cunt lips and was rewarded with a kiss of moisture to mine. I reached under her bum and pulled her knickers off, discarding them with her flip-flops.

She took a deep breath. "The changing hut was hot as an oven and very ramshackle, so the sun came through all the cracks in beams like a movie. It smelled of dried seaweed. It didn't have a lock, so K took off her bikini top and dangled it over the top of the door to wedge it shut, but also to let people know someone was changing inside... yes."

I'd opened her lips, that's all, to watch her juices bubbling in her slot. It was like looking into her dirty mind.

She put her feet on my shoulders and sagged tendon-popping wide. "I'd never had sex with a woman before, but I was always curious, especially after reading that book. Kate's breasts looked perfect and perky, and she took off her bikini bottoms too. She's always had a great body, hasn't she? So lithe..." She drifted off into a reverie about Kate, or maybe because of my tongue dipping into her slot to taste her.

She cleared her throat. "So I kissed her breasts, and it felt yummy having her nipples stiffen in my mouth, and I stroked her between the legs, and she was just... liquid, and it was so horny that she desired me that much... and she said I was sexy as fuck even though I didn't really know what I was doing. She was super confident, of course. I was wearing one of those bikinis that fasten with bows on the side? Anyway, she just pulled the knots loose and crouched in front of me-- ff-fuck."

I took a luscious lick along her groove, collecting a rolling bead of juices. "And?" I said to her fat clit, patting it gently with my tongue.

"Well, she seemed to like it down there as much as you do. She grabbed my bottom and ate me like a great fruit-- like that, yes. Ah."

I'd lifted her hips to my mouth. She reached down to slip up her clit hood, straining to watch my tongue daub it in her juices. "I thought I might cum first," she continued, "But then realised she was shaking and that..." She shivered. "That she was fingering herself while licking me... so we came together--"

"Cackling like witches," Kate added.

Kate?

Fuck.

She stood at the kitchen door, arms folded, watching us. I jumped up from Roz's sex. She covered herself and slapped her knees together.

Kate threw me a tea towel. "Your chin is dripping."

I held up my palms. "Kate, I--"

"You're not surprised, surely?" Roz snapped.

Really? This was how she wanted to play it?

Roz didn't even move from the breakfast bar. She didn't even cover her legs. "It was your idea for fucksake. Sort your husband out, you said."

What? I was a head taller than both women but felt like a dwarf amongst sexual giants.

Fists clenched, Kate strode over to us so forcefully I flinched. "That was before," she said. "And I thought if you actually did it, you might have had the guts to tell me. Both of you."

"But we only just started!" I surprised myself with the flagrancy of this lie. Was I really going to pretend yesterday hadn't happened? It'd be easier if it hadn't. "Should we have Facetimed you?"

But Kate pursed her lips and held up her phone. It was playing a video, taken from the first or second floor of Roz's house, aimed through the bow window into her office. The elevated angle showed the mirror behind the desk and its reflection of a lumpen great sod wanking while he devoured a kaftanned milkmaid.

Roz grabbed the phone off her and peered at it. "Jake filmed that? And sent it to you? What a little shit."

Kate took the phone back... and was that a smile? "A little shit indeed. I mean, what was he hoping? That I'd seek murderous revenge on my two favourite people in the world? Anyway, that's why I came back, to catch you at it."

That wasn't entirely the response I expected. "So you're not going to kill me?" I ventured.

Kate smirked. "Eventually, probably, your heart will give out."

Roz laughed. "Death by blowjob?"

Kate slapped Roz's bare thigh. "Pussy smothered?"

I collapsed onto a stool. I couldn't tell if I was angry at being manipulated. Or delighted. "So when you didn't turn up for that dinner, that was so Roz and I..."

"Could get it on, yes." She snatched my coffee off me and swigged it. "You were both being such pains with your non-stop horniness. And you..." She elbowed me. "I constantly felt like I was disappointing you. It made me angry with you." Her critical tone was at odds with the gaze she ran around her friend's bare legs. "So I thought I'd kill two birds. Let you gobble each other up. But apparently, you just talked about telly."

"So we set up the brunch." Roz ran her foot along the front of my trousers. "He's massively hard, look."

"You weren't worried you might lose me?" I said. "To Roz?"

The women looked at each other and burst into laughter.

"I love you, babe." Kate slapped my buttock. "But you're not that irresistible."

"I can control myself, Peter." Roz reclined on our breakfast bar like it was a chaise. "And please remember there is a difference between sexual craving and love."

Good point. I turned on Kate. "This morning, in your sleep, you said you loved Stephanie."

Kate shrugged. "She's worth her fucking weight in gold. You bet I love her. Best P.A. I ever had."

Roz sniggered. "Excellent lay too."

Kate patted her friend's bare knee. "Excellent teacher." She let her hand linger.

Just when I felt the world settle into some kind of order, albeit a fucked-up order, it kept tangling again. The girls looked at me like a puppy struggling to do its trick. Kate looped an arm around my waist and kissed my cheek. "Roz is a sex therapist. She helped Stephanie find her mojo and then recommended her to me. For the P.A. job, not for the sex, that would be weird. Stephanie just offers to de-stress me sometimes."

"Such a sweetie," Roz said.

"Isn't she? I love you on our breakfast bar, babe."

Roz made doe-eyes at my wife. Like I wasn't there. Or maybe for my benefit, now I think about it.

"It's been a while," Roz's voice was dangerously small again. "And your hot hubby's got me hot and bothered." She fanned her knees. Her skirt, collected about her waist, barely covered her modesty. But I guess it was nothing my wife hadn't seen before.

Kate growled. "I'm still cross with you. Both of you. I know this was my idea, but you should've told me you'd done it. You were supposed to, remember?" She prodded Roz's thigh. "We were supposed to settle it so I could get cheeky with Stephanie, and you two had each other. That was the deal."

"Then came the BJ bombshell." Roz shook her head.

"Fucking BJs." Kate shook hers. "Rather messed it all up, your cum fetish."

"Hey," I asserted myself, finally. "OUR cum fetish."

Kate snorted. Her ears pinked.

I pressed my advantage and squeezed her. "I told Roz today we shouldn't see each other, then I felt guilty that I'd got her hopes up and dashed them. And I was angry with you for loving your P.A. So I comforted her and..."

"And one thing led to another," Kate added in a blah-blah tone.

"Well, have you seen her?" I gestured to the comely woman on our worktop.

Kate and I regarded her friend. Our friend. She flushed, bit her lip, and opened her legs. Juices strung between her thigh tops.

"Look at the state of you." Kate pressed her mouth to Roz's sex. My dick tried to jump out of my trousers.

Roz's eyelids grew heavy. "Fucking hell, Kate."

Kate twisted to side-eye me as the tip of her tongue probed her friend's slot. Then she could hardly lick for smiling at my ridiculously lascivious expression.

I kissed my wife deeply, catching Roz's fat clit between us.

"Oh, my God. Oh, sweet fuck." Roz pressed a palm to both our heads. "Don't stop. Don't stop." She grabbed Kate's phone from the countertop and held it up, filming us with jittery hands as we snogged her cunt between us.

"Another for the collection?" Kate slid a finger into her friend's hole, withdrew it for me to suck, and then slid it back inside.

Roz's thighs quivered. "Replying to my shitty husband." She flopped onto her back, pulled back her knees and blustered, "Don't fucking stop."

So far from being the poor frustrated Roz, it seemed the woman had more sex than any of us. And I hadn't even heard the rest of it yet.

But everyone must stop what they're doing and go down on someone with their wife. Right now. There's nothing more weirdly marriage-affirming, even life-affirming, than kissing your spouse with a happy clit between you.

Kate dropped my trousers to wank me while we worked. It was in response to me shoving my hand down the back of her silky slacks to cup her cunt. Frustratingly, it seemed no time at all before I had Kate cumming on my thumb and forefinger while her best friend arched, slapped the counter and squirted all over our tongues.

Roz kissed us as she panted off her orgasm, snaking her tongue around our girl-cum-covered mouths. Kate still gripped my erection, touchingly, like it was my leash, but made no complaint when I buried my tip in her best friend's sopping hole. She even helped me guide it in and held Roz wide for me. Roz was flat on her back, eyes shut and still smiling, when I slid deep into her. With a startled look like, "Can this really be happening to me?" She curled over as I filled her, leaning into us. I gripped the crooks of her knees, held her legs wide, and fucked.

She didn't seem used to a cock my size. I appreciate how arrogant this sounds, but I only say it because every thrust plunged "Oh!" from her like she was riding a rollercoaster. She blinked down at our join in disbelief, clawed my buttocks, snogged my wife, and, in under a hundred strokes, was swearing at the cooker hood above her.

This was too much for me. I was gnashing with the effort of holding back.

"Don't cum," Kate said mid-kiss. I thought, shit, am I crossing a line? Would Kate be upset if I came inside her friend? But Roz, even with screwed-shut eyes, and yelping, begged me not to cum too. I sensed they had a plan.

Too late.

"Sh-shit." My balls pulsed, and I clenched hard. My entire body quaked. Kate leapt for my cock and jerked it out of her friend like pulling the plug on a malfunctioning fuckbot. I'd already shot one accidental load, and cum flooded from Roz's slot as Kate wanked me.

I let rip and fountained liquid heat all over Roz's mound. She shoved her hips at my spouting cockhead, jaw thrust and gawping at the happy mess as Kate rubbed me at her friend's increasingly sloppy clit.

Roz and I gasped and swore as Kate controlled our union, sliding me around her friend's flushed and slippy vulva, stretching our climaxes out forever.

And that was before she dipped her head and started with her tongue.

Kate's perfectly depraved cum-lapping gave me a headrush that made me laugh like a junkie. Roz too. This was no quick swallow. My wife played with us until, honestly, I couldn't tell if mine was the cock or the clit. All was licked into an undefinable silky whorl.

"I feel like an ice cream," Roz said breathlessly, then collapsed into such hilarity Kate had to leave her and sucked me instead.

It felt like a year in heaven, then suddenly all the cum was gone, and Kate stood, licking her lips with this look like... sorry... but exactly like the cat who got the cream.

"So." She wiped her wrist across her mouth. "What will we do about your shitty husband, Roz?"

Roz made a noise like a creaky door. She sat up, dishevelled and slap-cheeked with, for a reason I couldn't recall, one breast hanging from her top. "Hmm?"

We held Roz's hands as she shakily climbed down from the counter and finally joined the real world. "Oh, Jake? It's not his fault. Don't worry. I'll have a word." She waggled the blood back into her legs. "You too are fabulous individually but together... pow..." She mimed her head exploding. "I'm not sure why I bother with marriage when I've friends like you."

"Love?" I ventured.

Roz patted my cheek. "By George, I think he's got it." She flopped on her stool like a boxer after the 12th round.

Kate was already fiddling with her phone. Seriously, she was texting Stephanie now? Had all this just whet her appetite?

Whatever. I retrieved Roz's knickers from the cooker hood and handed them to her.

"I'm sorry, but I've got another video, babe," Kate said. "I took it myself. You might find it upsetting."

"Oh god, it's not my rear view again, is it? My arse is enormous."

I patted her bottom fondly. She patted my hand, like, thank you. Kate raised an eyebrow but seemed to approve of me flattering her friend. She held up her phone for the second time today. This time it was Jake, stepping out the front door of their house with his personal trainer. Blimey, he was handsome too. Probably six-four and built like Arnie. Was. The pair limbered up then Jake grabbed the front of his trainer's tracksuit bottoms. He pulled the waistband out, peered inside, then reached in and rummaged. They laughed.

Roz turned huge eyes at Kate. Then at me. We held her. I wondered if we should lick her again, but no, that would be ridiculous.

"You were right, babe." Kate put her phone away. "He's definitely gay."

Roz nodded slowly and dropped her face into her hands. Her shoulders shook.

"Babe." Kate hugged her. I hugged her.

She lifted her head, brushing tears from her eyes.

Tears of laughter.

"Your faces!" She clapped.

"You knew," I said.

"Of course I did!" Roz knocked on my chest. "You didn't recognise him?" She grabbed her iPad, scrolled through some files, and played her favourite sixty-nine video. The one she'd shown me in her office.

And there he was. Jake's trainer.

"And..." She tapped the woman feeding on him. "Recognise that big bum?"

Kate peered. "Oh Roz, you're insatiable."

"Yes, I am." Roz regarded the screen. "He was one of my very favourite clients."

My head buzzed full of what-the-fuck bees. "Do you shag all your clients? You know that's not what a sex therapist does, right?"

"This one does. Only when their course is done. They're all so irresistible once they're fixed!"

"So I take it you introduced this beautiful man to Jake?"

"Other way round. We had an arrangement. Alex--the beautiful man--is bi and said he'd happily give me what Jake can't if I turned a blind eye to Jake and him. Though we've had a few threeways, so, you know. It's hard to turn a blind eye when you're gawping." She squeezed Kate's arm. "I know we argue, but my husband and I are very much in love. There are just some things I can't give him. You know that feeling, don't you?"

Kate looked at me. But agreed with her friend. I wondered when that would stop hurting.

"Thing is," Roz winced at her iPad as a message from Jake appeared. "We agreed that I only did Alex, as he's like our marriage's sexual prosthetic. So now Jake is really pissed off about us three. I shouldn't have sent him the video of us at it. I was just so cross he tried to hurt you." She called up the message. "Oh. It's from Alex, on Jake's email."

She grinned. "Alex said we looked sexy as all fuck and that Jake should invite us to a party. Get it all out in the open."

I gulped.

Kate shone so bright I couldn't look at her.

DINNER PARTY

For the sake of neutrality, the party was at Alex's house. Kate assured me that the "beautiful man" wasn't her type, and that she disliked men with too many muscles. But we still got there early.

"How can it be a party with just six people?" I whined. "We should call it what it is, an orgy."

Kate had spent all day trying on outfits. This struck me as pointless, given, I supposed, the point of the night was to get naked. She said I needed to think of the evening as a dinner party where we were the food."You don't just scrub it and slap it on the table, do you?"

Then she dressed me too, choosing the grey sixties suit, white shirt and black tie she always made me wear on our anniversary. I'm a builder, and I hate wearing suits--they're strictly for weddings, funerals and court appearances--but in this case, the tailored layers felt comforting, like armour. And I loved the look in her eye as she checked me over, after which she squeezed the front of my trousers. "Can I do you quickly before we go? Amuse bouche?"

I kissed her. "Think I'm going to need all my energy tonight."

"Please," she smooched, unzipping the fly she had only just fastened. "Your cum calms me down."

"But I need to be excited."

She considered this, squirrelling inside my shorts.

"OK. Just a..." She took my cock out, pressed a lingering kiss to it, and put it back, refastening me. "At least I'm the first to get you excited."

I lifted her skirt and returned the favour, and our kiss afterwards turned into a deal to be the last to excite each other as well. As loving as that sounded, I wasn't quite sure what it meant.

It seemed Kate had been to a few of these in her time. It also seemed that I'd learned more about my wife in the last week than in the previous ten years. When I'd initially refused to go to the party, she pointed out that the only woman going who didn't already adore sex with me was Stephanie, and apparently, since Kate told her that I knew about their affair, she wouldn't stop talking about threesomes. I found that unlikely. I'd only met her once.

Then Roz reminded me that couples needed to keep trying to please each other and that Kate had kept her side of that bargain, overcoming (ha) her fear of swallowing. This was the least I could do.

So I'd agreed to go as long as I didn't have to touch another man's penis. And mine was utterly out of bounds to them.

"I'll alert them about your irresistibility," Kate had said. "But Jake and Alex will be the only men there, and since you fucked his wife, I doubt Jake'll let you within touching distance of his gorgeous boy."

So, the evening would be the two married couples, each with their illicit, gorgeous lovers. That is Me, Kate and her bit-on-the-side, Stephanie. Then Roz, Jake and his butt-on-the-side, Alex.

The soiree was supposed to start at seven, and we arrived at five-to. Kate was giggling uncontrollably, and my heart banged so hard we hardly needed to ring the doorbell on this double-door set into an ancient garden wall. It was an expensive neighbourhood for a personal trainer, full of big houses surrounded by landscaping.