All Comments on 'Friends with Consequences Ch. 01'

I don't like her.

Ok, I left a comment on someone's story the other day, that, well, was rude. I wish I hadn't have. What I felt was genuine, how I expressed it was hurtful, and almost personal. I'll try not to be either here.

I find this story frustrating. I didn't have fun reading it. I didn't like the girl. She's cruel. But, I remember being 18, and I was cruel at times. I really wanted Max to leave her at the party, to suffer the rough advances of his less moral friends. I wanted this poor boy to stand up for himself. To finally say, "No."

I wanted to punch Linda in the nose.

There's nothing here for me to root for. There's no seed of romance. You didn't leave me wanting more. You left me angry. You left me frustrated, in a totally negative way. I hate being manipulated, I hate being misled. There's no reason for me to believe this is leading to romance, just a brutal revenge sex experience that "teaches" Linda a lesson. I don't see a way for this to suddenly turn into love, unless you write Max as a milquetoast man. A doormat. A stepping stone in Linda's quest to fuck. You could torture this poor girl with countless sex experiences and partners, only to have her mourn the lost affection of the boy she knew. You could turn Max into a hedonist, turning his back on HIS hard won morality. You could turn Max into an abusive monster.

But I don't see love.

My friend, this is the wrong category. This isn't romance. This isn't love. I don't pretend to be a moral person, whatever that may mean, but I have hard-won convictions. I do know what it's like to be treated the way you're having Linda treat Max. I had a Linda. I hate her, to this day. She stole from me, she broke me, she made me doubt every person I've had a relationship with.

Some may enjoy this journey you're starting, I just cannot continue with it. Please, treat Max with kindness. If you choose not to, please consider moving this to "Erotic Couplings" or "Non-consent/Reluctance". Please don't suddenly try to suggest there's love here.

In my opinion, which is really only truly important to myself, but I hope thought-provoking: at maximum we're dealing with a self-absorbed spoiled person, who just wants to destroy Max. At minimum, this is a story that is just a mastabatory aide. In either, not romance.

I suppose I really am just disappointed that, in looking for a love story, I found a story that hits to close to home. I really hate Linda. She was cruel. Poor Max.

Wow, JaceyTrey didn't hold back. I love comments that show the emotion that the story brought out in them. When a villain in a film causes you to hate them, they are doing their job properly. Similarly, when an author provokes a strong emotional response, they are successful in creating the atmosphere that they intended. The exception would be when the writing is just so bad that you hate it, but that isn't the case here.

I think that while this story may be in the wrong category, the scoring for it is too low. Maybe it would fit better under First Time, Erotic Couplings, etc. Without knowing where the plot ends up, it is too early to make that call.

She is a garbage person. No romance at all.

A poor start. Hope it improves

Both Max and Linda are awkward in opposite directions. Max seems Asperger’s Spectrum. Very naive. Annoyingly straight laced and up tight. Linda seems more on the slutty teen spectrum. Too bullying. Too damned full of herself. No girl is THAT hot. This is laying the foundations for future stories. But, I can see why your audience felt frustrated at this point. We’re only two pages in. I’m not giving up on these two yet. But Max needs to loosen up. And Linda needs to learn a lesson friendship and modesty. I hope some of that comes cmbefore chapter 4.

Really too far in the "opposites" direction, there has be some give in his rigidity and her party girl attitude. He won't do anything "fun" and she won't do anything but "have a good time".

I'm with JaceyTrey here. While I personally never had this experience myself, manipulation is one of my triggers and it really ruins a story for me.

Well they were wrong that Linda was too good for Max. Max needs to loosen up, but he is far too good for Linda.