Friendship or Love, Strange concept

Stunned and confused, "What! Jesus Ashley, is that what all the sex has been about? You were just buttering me up."

She grinned an evil little smirk. "I shouldn't have to, Rob is our best friend and you saw what he is like he can't look after himself and he has no one to fall back on, honey it's the right thing to do, we have to help out."

She snuggled tighter against me. "Come on love you know it's the right thing to do, you have long service leave, and we can do this."

"Ashley there are government agencies and services, If they won't help I am sure he could afford a proper live in nurse, let me do some ringing around, I am sure we can sort something out."

Shaking her head she kissed my bare shoulder. "Hon that wouldn't be right would it? I don't want some stranger looking after him, not when we could be doing it... What would Saskia say? No Rob this is our responsibility."

"Ash, I can't, we have too much on at work, I am up for promotion and if I bugger off now I will be passed over."

"Oh for heaven's sake, we don't need the money, this is our friend we are talking about."

"Honey he would not expect it of us, he is a tough nut, once he gets to the stage where he cannot look after himself then we could go down."

She shook her head and it was obvious she was angry. "Damn you frustrate me, where has the caring loving bloke I married gone? Where did this callous shit I am living with come from?"

"I understand you want to help Ash, but we can't."

The next couple of days were a little frosty but on the third day the torrid passionate sex returned with a vengeance and as the weekend approached I was getting worn out. Friday night it all became apparent. After making love and snuggling together in post coital bliss she sprang it on me. "Honey I have decided if you won't go down to help out I am going to go by myself."

"Ash you can't, I need you here as well you know."

"Bollocks, you are a big boy, you can look after yourself, he is dying for god's sake, he will be gone forever soon."

Realising I was fighting a losing battle, and accepting in some way that it was the right thing to do I asked. "So how long are we talking, days or weeks?"

She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me wetly on the lips. "Well I don't know how quickly he will start to lose control or how long it will take before he can't stay at home, but I will stay until he has to go into the hospital."

"Jesus Ashley you know that it could take months."

She nodded. "I know hon, but what else can we do?"

Flopping back I whispered. "Shit Ashley I don't know, how long before you come home?"

"Until the end I guess."

"So you're not even coming home for a visit?"

The sad look in her eyes gave me my answer. "Rob you could come down every weekend, or perhaps every other weekend, you don't have to just leave it all up to me."

We made love again in the morning before I drove her to the airport. "Call me." I whispered as we had our last hug.

She kissed me lightly, "Of course silly, every night."

With that she was gone.

At home I was lost, as much as I moaned about her this was going to be the first time in our married life that we would be apart for any length of time. I mowed the lawns and thought about what to get for dinner. Oh well at least I could have whatever I wanted. I cracked open a beer and relaxed in the lounge. Later that night Ashley rang and Grant took the phone in tears. "Thanks buddy, shit this means so much to me."

Ashley came back on and she whispered, "Rob he was so happy when he saw me, he brightened up instantly, we have done the right thing he is livelier than I have seen in a long time."

What could I say except, "That's good news."

The calls were regular for the first week and she implored me to go down for the weekend, but with work I couldn't do it, I had to work Saturday. The next week she called every night but there was no pleading for me to go down and visit. The next week the calls dwindled down and seemed forced, it was like she was afraid to talk to me and I got the feeling things weren't right. By the fourth week I decided I needed to find out what the hell was going on. I booked a flight for the weekend but said nothing, I would surprise them."

It was a pleasant central Otago day as I drove up to Grants place; all I hoped was that he hadn't deteriorated too much and that Ashley was OK. As I pulled up in front of the place I was blown away by how good it looked, the gardens were tidy, the lawns were mown and the place looked tidy. Ashley had obviously been very busy.

I walked in calling out loudly. "Ashley, are you here?"

I saw her walk out from the kitchen and she looked completely flabbergasted. "Rob..... What are you doing here?"

Stunned by her indifference I muttered. "Jesus... Do I need an excuse to visit my wife?"

Hesitantly she walked up slipping her arms around me and the kiss melted all my fears. "No off course not you sneaky devil, but you should have called, we could have picked you up at the airport, saved the cost of the rental car."

Grant wandered in from outside, his expression surprised me he didn't look that thrilled to see me, although in saying that he looked good, really good. "Hello mate." He said offering his hand. I pushed aside his hand and we hugged as only male friends can. "Shit you're looking good." I muttered.

"It must be the good food." He laughed.

Ash muttered, "I will make some tea." I picked up my bag and headed for the hallway. "I need to change; I suppose we are in the main guestroom as usual?"

Ashley and Grant stared at each other strangely as I headed up the hall and into the guest room which was empty, nothing no clothes, no bags nothing, this room had not been used in a very long time.

I turned and looked back to the living room where Ash and Grant were standing side by side staring at me. I turned back to the room leaving my bag in the doorway and walked down to the master suite and there it was all of Ashley's clothes, her bags opened and empty, her shoes strewn around like she did at home and the bed was mussed up totally unlike Ash unless it had been recently used.

As I turned to walk out Ashley stood staring at me. "Hon let me explain, let's put your bag in the guest room and we can all sit down and talk." She looked nervous, anxious and maybe even scared.

I felt faint my heart raced and breathing was suddenly difficult. I walked past her pushing her aside I picked up my bag heading for the living area and Ashley ran after me. "Rob please, let me explain, please honey, stop... Rob you have to let me speak."

I kept going, straight through the living room back out to my car. Ashley screamed. "Rob please wait, don't go off half cocked. Please stop, let's talk." She screamed angrily. "Rob listen to me please... for god's sake let me explain."

Grant walked up. "Mate, let's not do anything rash."

I hauled back and swung a wild punch, in our younger days he would have beaten me to a pulp but my punch landed fair and square on his nose and he reeled back arms waving wildly as he tried to gain his balance. Bang he was lying on the ground groaning. Ashley stared first at me then at him before bending over to see if he was OK. By then I had thrown my bag in the backseat and climbed in slamming the door angrily.

Ashley ran over and grabbed me. "Rob please don't leave, not like this, let's go back inside and talk."

Angrily I spat out, "And where would I be sleeping? More to the point where would you be sleeping?"

She grimaced painfully. "With you silly, you are my husband."

"Doesn't look like it now does it?" I started the car crashing it into gear. "Seems to me, that now he is your husband." Before I drove off I hissed. "Ashley I am going to give you a chance, if you are home in Wellington by Monday I will try and forget this madness ever happened but if you aren't there then I promise you here and now our marriage will be over and you can stay here."

I drove off showering them both in flying stones as I sped away cursing silently. For god's sake they were living like husband and wife, sharing a bed and obviously having sex.

Back at the airport it cost me a fortune to get my ticket changed. Back home the reality of the situation settled over me. My parting shot had been an offer that I would forgive her, but as I sat in the lounge blankly staring at nothing I wondered, if she did whether I could.

Sunday afternoon I got a phone call, it was Ashley. "Rob can we take a breath and talk, please give me a chance, let me explain what happened."

"Go on then elucidate me, tell me why, you my wife is having sex with another man, tell me why you're shacked up down there like husband and wife while I live up here by myself."

"Honey it's not like that." I interrupted before she could carry on. "So what... You're not sharing a bed?"

There was a pregnant pause. "Yes we are sharing a bed, but it's not like you think."

"Are you having sex?"

The silence returned, we listened to each other breathe before she whispered hoarsely. "Yes we are having sex but..."

I jumped in again. "Then it's exactly like I thought, you're living together."

"Rob let me explain, he was so lonely and so sad. You know how much he loved Saskia... I didn't come down here to do this, it just happened. It started with a consolation kiss and just got out of hand."

"You can say that again. I made you an offer and it still stands, if you're home tomorrow I am prepared to try and forgive you."

I heard her sigh. "Thank you Rob, that's why I love you, but I can't, not now. You saw how positive he is now that he has a little joy in his life I can't just walk away. Shit love, he doesn't have long to live and then I will be home and we can put this behind us."

"I think you misunderstood me, this is once only offer Ashley, I will not wait, you are either here tomorrow or I am filing for divorce, that's it."

The sobs started. "Rob, he has no one, we are all he has."

"Wrong you are all he has, he's dead to me."

"You don't mean that," she snapped back caustically. "He is your best friend you won't abandon him when he needs you."

"Ashley, listen to me, he is dead to me already. If you are not home tomorrow, I will file for divorce, it's not a threat it's a promise."

"Surely our marriage means more than that? Everything we've been through and you're just going to throw away 25 years?"

"No... not me Ashley, this was your doing not mine, if this is how it ends then it will be on your head."

All I could hear were her sobs. "What were you thinking Ashley, Jesus what the hell were you thinking?"

She burst into a full on hysterics. "I don't know Rob, I just wanted to make his last days happy, I just wanted to bring some joy to his final days."

"Come home and we can try to get past this, I promise I will try to forgive."

"I'm sorry Rob but I can't do that, I hope you will forgive me because I love you and I can't imagine my life without you."

"Well you better get used to it because if you are not here tomorrow we are definitely over."

The next few days passed slowly, work was impossible, I was a waste of space but I battled on, sitting at home would have been worse. At night the house seemed cold and my life seemed empty.

Ashley called several times and on one occasion handed the phone to Grant but the minute I heard his voice I hung up.

My daughter called to tell me how proud she was of mum and what a selfless act it was to go down and nurse him. Jesus she was comparing her to Mother Theresa or Florence bloody Nightingale. I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth, but she couldn't understand when I told her to shut up because I didn't want to listen to it.

It wasn't the only thing she wanted to tell me though. She had another surprise she was getting engaged and wanted to know if we could get to her party which was in a month. I agreed of course and offered to pay which made her very happy. What didn't make her happy was when she asked what I thought about holding it at Grants Vineyard... Her bloody mother must have already talked to her and made the suggestion I snapped at that. "Sylvie, the answer is no. I will find somewhere better."

She seemed confused. "Why dad... what could be better? It would be perfect."

My anger exploded. "Sylvie if you hold it there then I will not be attending and I will not be paying."

She seemed surprised. "But it was mum's idea, she said that way uncle Grant could be there."

"Do what you want Sylvie, but hold it there and you will be doing it without me."

There was a pause as she tried to gather her senses... She closed off saying she would talk to mum and get back to me. Of course it was less than an hour later when Ashley rang. "Hon Sylvie just called saying something silly about you not wanting to hold her engagement party here."

"That's right." I spat out.

She sighed. "Honey please don't be difficult, it makes sense to hold her party here, Grant is getting sicker and he will not be able to travel. Please I am begging you don't make this tougher than it has to be."

"Like hell Ashley, I stand by my comments. If she chooses to listen to you then I will not be there and what's more I won't be paying."

"Honey Grant already offered to pay as his gift, it won't cost a cent if we hold it here."

"Sorry but if you want me to attend then it's not happening there and he is not paying for my daughters engagement party, tell him to piss off."

Thankfully after many phone calls my daughter realised something was going on and reluctantly agreed to hold it somewhere else.

I managed to find a spot at Hamner springs through an old rugby mate. Sylvie was as pleased as punch when I gave her the news. It was going to be pricey but I didn't care.

It was also the prompt I needed to get the divorce proceedings underway. Two weeks later the divorce papers were finalised and lodged at the courthouse. Then it was waiting for Ashley's response, they were mailed by registered mail, if she didn't contest all she had to do was sign and return and it would be filed.

"What the hell..." That was all I heard as I picked up the phone. "Hello Ashley, nice to hear your voice."

"Rob what the hell is going on?"

"It's simple Ashley; I assume you're talking about the divorce... If you sign the papers and mail them back we can file and it will be finalised in six months."

"Rob... no... Do I have to beg? Please don't do this, we can get past this, once I am home you will see this is nothing."

"Oh for god's sake Ashley don't be ridiculous, I am not waiting around while you play happy home down there with dickhead. All I want is for you to sign the papers and we can both move forward."

"No I refuse I don't want it, I am not signing."

Then send them back signed saying you are contesting, either way we are going to be legally separated by the end of the month."

"Honey slow down Sylvie's engagement party is in six weeks; can't we at least wait until after that?"

"No, I am not waiting, everything is filed at the court, regardless of whether you contest or not, we are going to be legally separated, you can fight the divorce, but when the judge finds out you've been living with another man for three months I don't fancy your chances."

"I'm not living with him; I am looking after a dying friend."

"Nursing doesn't require sharing a bed or sex."

"Jesus you can be a nasty bastard when you want."

I spent most of my spare time helping plan Sylvia's engagement party and it was going well until she sent me the guest list and Grants name was on it. That created another nasty call when I informed her that he was not welcome. She sobbed tearfully as I laid down my rules.

Yep that generated another nasty call between Ashley and me. She accused me of being malicious; reminding me that Grant was Sylvie's godfather and was entitled to be there. That was the last straw for me and I snarled. "Not while he is fucking you he isn't."

The engagement party was a big success for all except Ashley; she did come but came alone. We sat at opposite ends of the table for most of the night. As the party atmosphere started in earnest and the band played Sylvie pushed me. "Dad I don't know what is happening between you and mum, but tonight you need to put it aside. I am pleading with you, don't spoil my party."

I gave her a hug and a kiss. "Its OK sweetie, I'll behave."

"Good then go and dance with mum, she looks as if she is carrying the weight of the world. She said poor old Uncle Grant is very ill."

With her pushing me I walked across with what felt like a thousand eyes watching me. I lifted her hand and led her out onto the dancefloor. As we glided serenely around she melted up against me. "OH god Rob it's so nice to be in your arms, thanks for asking me to dance."

"So, how have you been keeping?" I asked.

"OK I guess, but Grant..."

I cut her off. "I don't want to hear about him, I don't even want to hear his name."

She stiffened at my angry retort but as we glided on she snuggled back against me and we carried on in quiet. After a couple of songs she sighed. "Rob I want to talk to you, we need to talk, to clear the air."

"Not tonight, Sylvie has already growled me, if you're still here tomorrow perhaps we could find a private spot somewhere."

She agreed. God it was nice holding her in my arms, it just felt right. "Where are you staying tonight?"

I glanced quickly at her. "I'm staying at the Royal in town."

"I could come and spend the night with you." She whispered, her teeth nibbling at my ear.

"No thanks Ashley, I don't sleep with other men's wives."

"Rob, please don't start a fight, wouldn't it be nice to spend the night together, I love you and I want you."

"What's the matter, Grant too sick to get it up now is he?"

She pushed me away. "You nasty bugger, I just wanted to spend some time with you, but if you must know Grant only has a few weeks left."

"Tell me where he is going to be buried so I can come and piss on his grave."

The cold angry glare she gave me then would freeze the fires of hell.

As promised we got together the next day meeting in the pub. I had a glass of wine waiting for her as she walked in. I didn't stand as she approached the table.

"What do you want to talk about Ashley?"

"As I said last night, Grant is going to be gone in a week or two, I wanted to ask you to come and visit. He wants to talk to you."

"Oh yeah and which bedroom would I be in?"

"Rob please, will you come, this is important, you're his best friend."

"No Ashley, he gave up that right the night he shared your bed, he is no longer my friend, and no I will not see him. You can tell him from me that I hope he has a painful death, slow and agonising to make up for my pain from the last six months."

The frown masked her whole face as she scowled. "Please Rob just give him a chance, he needs to speak to you."

"Well I don't want to hear anything from him. Look let's get on with the important stuff. I want to put the house on the market; we are both going to need to live somewhere."

"Honey, its part of what Grant wants to talk to you about, please come down spend a few days at the vineyard and listen to what he has to say."

"All I want is your approval to sell. If you think you can buy out my share then we can settle, but if you can't come up with the money then we have to sell. I have had an agent value it and they are ready to put it on the market."

"Rob we don't have to do this, at least give me a chance to make this right, give me an opportunity to change your mind, we can't do that if we are living apart."

"Sorry Ashley but I gave you a chance and you turned your nose up at it."

"You know I couldn't leave him like that, honey he has had a smile on his face, he has enjoyed his last days and he is going to die soon. Just give us a chance. Let me see if I can't change your mind, or if you find you can't forgive me then we could at least say we tried, but it seems like you've just given up on me."