All Comments on 'From 0 to 24'

I would have liked to hav known the point of the number.

What was thepoint of the number it was goodstory I loved it :-) it made me cry was long but reallyy good story

What was the numbers!!!!

It was a lovely way to end my day.

1. What were the numbers?

2. Ambitious story, but please get an editor.

3. Often read like you were going down a checklist of sick sh*t to do to women.

4. Glad you were able to some how find a happy ending because if I were Lilly either the twisted f*ck would be dead or I would be, perhaps both if that is what it took.

The numbers are just what he was in the sex slave world. There are lots of names but u can find someone easier by a number like your social security number. I love this story. Its so sweet n i love how you finished the Story already. Thx you for letting me read ur wonderful story.

I really enjoyed your story, I especially liked the happy ending. You show great promise as a story teller; however, you really need to get an editor, or at least a word processor with spell check and a grammar checker. There were numerous spelling errors and grammar errors which marred an otherwise very enjoyable story. You also didn’t need to write 11 pages in one story. You could have broken it up into multiple chapters and spent more time on each chapter.

To all critics, I am not a writer and not intending being one. This story is a result of 3 cases of 24 cans of Heineken beer, my insane best friend with his girlfriend, my English professor who is annoying and a midterm this week. The level intoxication can be seen as the story progresses. It is unedited, It was not even supposed to be an erotic story from a get go but English class project (describe three hours of anything in 8 pages). So I was hanging out near the seaport and watching the cruise ships and writing everything as I was seeing. I thought I finished writing after I retyped it. My friend showed up and read it. He said that it read like a prelude to some bad Euro porn flick script from the 80s. His girlfriend read it and said the same thing. I was gonna toss it but those two suggested that we should turn it into some sex story. We run out of ideas somewhere after the sex party part then struggled through the following chapter. That is when my friend's gf proposed introducing Chris character in with the whistling. Her first bf was busted whistling in the middle of a night under her windows by her dad. So my two friends were play acting "What would you say?" and "what would be your reaction?" and "what would you do if this happened to you?" We had to keep Lilly alive. It would be very easy to kill her off. We had to break the darkness and add some humor and lameness into it. So as they were yelling at each other and pretending, I was writing whatever came out their mouths. I tried to capture their emotions but it was complicated because we were drunk, these two were cracking up and we didn’t want to get too brutal. We laughed hysterically writing the second part.

Actually there is a meaning to the numbers 99 66 34 11

99 = 9+9 = 18 = 3 x 6 = 666 = Sebastian

then you are left with

66 34 11

66 + 34+ 11 = gives you 666 - father!

Lilly gets 3 a common number of 6 and 9

In conclusion, no one was hurt during the writing process except for our stomachs from laughing and beer drinking.

Thank you ano. I guessed but now i know thx!

We just need to read it through the same beer goggles through which it was written! Even given your 'process,' you still wrote a better story than many posted here. To make that many people care enough to comment is somethin'. Feel free to post more when y'all get enough beer money scraped together.

Anon

ROTFLMAO! hahah EPIC post!

Beer goggles?! NIIICE TOUCH!

We are adding probably another 150+ pages but for the next part we are definitely getting an editor cause we will need some serious writing for part 2.

I was surprised that people actually were commenting and asking about the numbers. I thought that it would be the last thing someone would care about.

And umm a little hint, whoever thinks it is a happy ending, I got news for you. It is far far from it. I left enough clues in the story is very far from over. Sebastian is cooking something vicious. There was a reason why we put such bubble gummy diary sort of speak in 1st part because it came from Lilly's standpoint. She thinks she got her Knight in Shining Armor but he is far far from done.

Greetings people,

I haven't laughed this much in ages (how was this story developed). VikingKing, since I know you, it is very hard to read it with a straight face. Three cases of Heineken was a big giveaway. This is some funny shtuff, I must admit. Dude, did you even proofread it or just submitted it for the fuck of it? It's very clustered. You are not in Sweden anymore, think in English. I thought I was reading Ikea's manual that was reenacted by two theater major students. The story is badly executed after bad planning and too much booze! It has a very good potential for a psych thriller.

Si ya in da skool, bro! I will SMS you if I think of smth.

What a great story

Excellent story! Loved it.

So she forgave him for all of the monstrous torture he subjected her to because of what her dad wrote in a letter(s)? I really loved my Dad he was a very good friend as well as being my dad but there’s no way in hell I would be able to forgive anyone for doing even a fraction of what he did to her. The only rational explanation is she has Stockholm Syndrome. The man is an absolute monster, I couldn’t read all of the story it made me feel sick. The only reason I pursued the story at all was the tag line/ synopsis, foolishly I was curious. There’s only one way for someone like him to retire from that business, it wasn’t the way he did it either.

Absolutely fantastic. I started reading this and could not stop until the end. I know it sounds sappy but I think lillith knew from the beginning she was going to love sebastion.

I was very pleased to see, besides a son, she was having a little girl.

Thank you for sharing