From Innocence to Carnality

Forward:

The people here are all legal age young adults. They are very highly physically and sexually fit with extremely high libidos and strong BDSM kinks. Their bodies exude lots of fluids. Drugs loosen grips on free will. This is a personal journey of a gay male from innocence to submissive carnality.

........

Jessie's car air conditioner grumbles like it's tired of living. She is driving us into the sunset of a stifling hot desert day. I daydream memories of how Jessie had come into my life. Memories that will be all I have left when she throws me away:

My whole life I had lived in the foster care system, an unwanted feminish boy passed around regularly from foster to foster. Some foster parents weren't too bad but some were really cruel.

I was always quiet and tried to blend into the background. But even as an only 5ft 6in. guy, I hadn't managed to blend in at high school. I routinely had to experience hateful fag jokes and bullying of the fag. I have severe dyslexia and never learned to write or type very well and only read with difficulty. Schools just passed me on through grade to grade.

My last foster parent, Mrs. Monroe, was okay. She knew I was gay but didn't care as long as I followed the rules. I always followed the rules.

I turned 18 and though the state would continue to pay Mrs. Monroe to foster me until I graduated high school, I became very anxious about where I would go and what I would do after graduation. My social worker was too busy to deal with me more than clearing paperwork. I was having a hard time leaving my room. I felt a never-ending panic attack. I desperately needed someone to help me.

Mrs. Monroe's 19 year old niece, Jessie, moved in with us. She had been thrown out by her parents because she wouldn't deny that she was gay. Jessie was a tall girl with blue and purple streaks through her short butch natural blond hair. She was muscular and had a firecracker personality. The first time I met her, I could tell that she saw the real me -- a frightened little fag needing someone to watch out for me. She quickly offered me support. She listened to me pour out my pain and she held me as I cried. She also began to order me around. I did everything she said. Sometimes it felt like she was a cat playing with hopeless prey. She only hurt me, though, when she got drunk. I wanted to be with her always.

One day after her aunt left for work, Jessie told me to skip school. She pulled me up to her room. ordered me to take off my clothes and lay face down naked on her bed. I did so, getting excited wondering what she was doing. She blindfolded me, spread my hands and legs apart and tied them to the four corners of the bed. I have no idea where she got it, but she shoved a musky jock into my mouth with a really man-smelling part covering my nose.

My five inch cock got hard. I felt a tickle in it that I responded to by grinding into Jessie's sheets. She spanked my butt with her open hand. Not really hard but enough to bring a warm stinging glow to my ass. Then she kneaded my taint with one hand while she pushed a knuckle of the other hand into the extremely sensitive area around my ass hole. I needed so badly to cum. I moaned. She stopped and gave me a quick slap on my ass that felt more like pleasure than pain.

She shifted position and ran her fingernails firmly down my back. It felt amazing. She gradually dug her nails into my skin more intensely, leaving scratches on my glowing ass. I experienced pain and pleasure together. I wanted her to go farther to see how much I could take of pleasure blending with pain. But she turned me over, still gagged and blindfolded, and scraped her nails across my chest, giving special attention to my nipples. She stroked her way down my stomach slowly till she came to my hotly throbbing cock. My midsection was smeared in pre-cum with my cock oozing large amounts of it. She teased my balls and cock relentlessly and mercilessly with her muscular hands. Bringing me to the brink of orgasm and stopping, over and over till I went nearly insane. And then she left me. Naked, still tied up with a potent man smelling jock jammed in my mouth, blindfolded with a pre-cum drenched cock begging for release. After what felt like a very long time, she came back and untied me but only after I promised that I would not jerk off or make myself cum. Only she could make me cum -- if she felt like it.

The air conditioner groaned on with an occasional protesting squeal. Jessie is smoking a joint while she drives us out toward the edge of town. She never lets me smoke any but I like the smell and like how she mellows out when she is stoned.

The feelings of helplessness are back that I had felt when I turned 18, before I met Jessie. What is going to happen to me when Jessie leaves me behind? I fight a panic attack. Jessie told me not to have one. I feel so alone and powerless. I begin to weep, trying to keep Jessie from seeing:

The next day while Jessie's aunt was gone, Jessie commanded me to do her bidding again and again left me naked, tied up, jock strap gagged and oozing pre-cum all over the bed and myself. I heard the front door open. It was Mrs. Monroe home early from work! I laid sprawled out on her niece's bed in the most humiliating way she could possibly find me. I panicked but, damn, my cock was as hard as it could be and practically a fountain of pre-cum. The more humiliated I felt the hornier I got.

From the downstairs entryway Mrs. Monroe called out. After hearing no response, Mrs. Monroe yelled out that she was going to take some groceries to the kitchen and put them away. Jessie came back to her room. I didn't hear the door close. She whispered into my ear, "Do you want me to make you cum now?" One of her husky hands grabbed my balls and the other encircled and slid down my pre-cum covered glans. I nodded my head yes. I wanted to beg through the jock strap gag but I didn't want Mrs. Monroe to hear. Jessie began stroking in earnest. I was getting close. She began fapping me even faster and whispered to me, "You have no choice but to cum. When you cum, you will belong to me and do anything I say. I will own you."

I was aware of the open door and Mrs. Monroe still in the kitchen putting away groceries and knew she could hear me if I made much noise. Trying to keep myself from moaning just made the tension in my balls and cock that much stronger. I couldn't stop her from taking me. I exploded as noiselessly as I could. Spirt after spirt shot over and on my head. She kept milking me till I was adrift in pleasure. My toes and feet curled up. But then she kept going until I was writhing with extremely intense pleasure flashes when she firmly rubbed my glans, causing a flurry of uncontrolled muscle contractions throughout my body. All the while I was trying so hard not to make too much noise and was humiliated with the thought that Mrs. Monroe would find us -- find me - like this. But the humiliation just drove me deeper into my orgasm. I became fully devoted to Jessie.

A few days later, Jessie came to me and told me that she had arranged a work gig where she could make a lot of money quickly. She found a place and told her aunt that we would be moving out. We were legal adults, so there wasn't much her aunt could do. The place was a two bedroom dump in a seedy part of town. I wasn't worried, though. I belonged to Jessie and she would take care of me. She made me stay physically fit - a toned body with tight abs and butt. She also made sure I ate nutritious food.

She would regularly tie me up, tease me with long sessions of edging and finally let me cum. In my total submission to her, I would cum spectacularly.

Jessie brought home all kinds of strangers -- women and men. They would do sexual things with her and give her money. She told me to stay in my room but I would sneak out and watch her through a big crack in the bottom of her door when she was with men. Seeing their powerful butts tightening as they thrust into her made my cock tingle and harden. A few times I was able to see an erect cock. And once I saw Jessie kissing one and sucking it into her mouth. I imagined so many times that that was me. Except Jessie serviced cocks and I loved cocks and wanted to make love to them.

She wouldn't let me watch any porn on the computer but I was allowed to sites with in-depth articles and drawings on anatomy. Struggling with my dyslexia, I learned about every facet of a man's penis and surrounding area. Looking at drawings of penises made me hot but I knew it was nothing at all like being able to feel a real man's cock.

Jessie knew of my infatuation with cocks so she tied my hands together above my head and my feet to the bottom corners of her bed, face up. She told me to imagine that her clit was a cock then mounted my mouth and commanded me to lick and suck her cock. Pushing her pussy into my face, she took my mouth. As I licked and sucked on her sensitive nub, she ground down hard with her hips. I was lost in the sensation of giving her pleasure when I heard her grunt deeply and repeatedly. An odd tasting fluid gushed out in large streams. I lapped it up as much as I could as she smeared it all over my face.

She demanded I service her when she wanted it. I was happy to make her so happy but I didn't think it was anything like having my mouth fucked by a real cock would be for me. I still wanted to be with men, be able to love their bodies in a way that I couldn't love Jessies'.

She had my nipples pierced because she said it would take a long time for them to heal and she was looking forward to decorating them with jewelry.

After several months, though, Jessie was tying me up and teasing my cock less and less often till it just stopped. She also quit fucking my mouth. I still worshipped her, though.

The houses along the road are sparse now. There is more empty desert. I am having a hard time breathing. With what is probably a last bit of concern about me, Jessie tries to buoy my spirits by telling me to look at the good possibilities. But she can't command me anymore to think what she wants me to think. She is abandoning me:

Jessie always liked taking all kinds of drugs but they began to take over her life. She would tell me she couldn't stand me and sometimes beat me. I didn't know what to do and flipped back and forth from trying to make her happy to hiding from her. She looked physically and emotionally wrecked.

Then the day came where she said she had to split quick and couldn't take me with her. She was going to drop me off at a club and I'd have to figure it out from there myself.

Today is that day.

I'm shaking as we pull into the club's parking lot. She tells me to get out. It's like my muscles don't want to move but I manage to open the door and step out. I feel instantly enveloped by the hot still desert air, but inside I have chills. She yells at me to close the door and I obey out of reflex. She drives off without looking back.

I'm having a hard time keeping myself from collapsing. I look around for somewhere to hide. On a near side of the parking lot there are some trees that I begin to run towards. But as I get closer to the trees, I see someone near one of the trees leaning on a motorcycle. I stop but he has been watching me and motions inward with his index finger and then pointing down in front of him, signaling for me to come to him. He is over six feet tall, fit, with close-cropped dark hair, beautiful brown skin, looking like he is in his early to mid-twenties. I see he is wearing tight black leather pants and as I approach, it is obvious that there is a big bulge where his cock is pushed off to the side and down his leg raw commando style. I'm trembling with lust along with fear that almost makes me faint. With an agitated look, he more emphatically points for me to comply. I don't know what else to do... he is so assertive. I feel like I should do what he wants.

As I get close to him, he grabs me, sits me down on the bike's seat next to him and clenches his arm around me, telling me to call him Sir -- which sounds sort of ominous, but I will. He insists that I tell him what brings a twinky fag like me here tonight. I begin trembling again and through crying sobs I tell him how Jessie ended up ditching me in this parking lot. He tells me, "Well, she dropped you off at a gay bar." It dawns on me what her plan for me was -- make sure I was completely clean inside and out and drop me here hoping I'll find something like a sugar daddy to take me in. The uncertainties are frightening, though. Sir reaches into a leather bag hanging on his bike and lights up what looks like a joint, puffs it up and gives it to me. "Here smoke this, it will calm you down."

He is right. Even after one inhale that I almost choke on, the joint does calm me down. A lot. After a couple more tokes I feel kind of giddy and open to everything in the world. When he smiles at me, he is so beautiful, but there is also something dangerous in his smile. My cock gives a jump.

Sir tells me that this club is full of predators that would take advantage of a weak fag like me. I should stay out of a place like that. He knows of a small club that he is sure I will like.

His perspiration dries quickly in the dry heat. The air around him is saturated with his strong masculine pheromones. I can see old and new leakage stains on his leather pants covering his cock. As I smoke the last of the joint, I feel so relaxed with him yet so lustful at the same time. I don't want him to let go of me.

Sliding off the seat, he tells me to hop on and he'll take me to the other club. I want to please him, so I flip my leg over to sit. He leans over me, forcing my face into his leather vest and hairy chest, grabs my ass on both sides, squeezes my firm buns up and down, then pulls my cheeks apart as much as my tight shorts allow and pushes a finger in till it just teases my virgin cherry, finally pushing me back on the seat to make more room for himself.

Sir takes off his leather vest and commands me to take off my shirt. He puts his vest in his pouch, then takes my shirt and throws it on the ground. That frightens me and thrills me at the same time. I feel shame that I don't say anything to him about it, but I am turned on by my quick submission to him. My nipples get rock hard around their piercing bars.

He tells me to hold on tight and reaches behind himself to pull my chest tight against his back. I gasp at how wonderful it feels. He takes my hands and wraps them around his waist. My fingers grip big, tight and firm muscles. I feel like I'm melting into him. My cock is achingly hard. I'm sure he notices but doesn't say or do anything about it.

Sir starts the bike with a kick down. It rumbles to life, rasp-growling when he twists the throttle. And we are off. I have never been on a motorcycle before. The vibration and acceleration tickle my sensitive bits. As we get farther down the road, he begins coaxing my hands to rub his abs and then his nipples. Oh God, I've wanted to do that with a guy for so long. That he has a very chiseled physique just increases my excitement. Sir guides my hands down to rub his black leather pants over his growing cock. I feel myself as one with him and his bike, the air rushing by and the first bright star just beginning to appear in the dusky blue sky above us.

After what feels like a long time of bliss, he pulls to a stop in the middle of a bridge over a dry river. He orders me off the bike and swings around to sit and look at me. "Take off your clothes and give them to me," he demands. Maybe it is a drug in the joint but I get goosebumps at anticipating him seeing me completely exposed. I obey. In a minute I am standing before him stark naked, worried and excited about the prospect that someone could drive by at any moment.

"Turn around so I can see all of you." I do so with my cock standing at full attention. "Damn, you are one hot bitch." My whole body blushes. He drapes my belt over the handlebars, walks over to the bridge railing and throws my clothes and shoes over the edge.

* * * *?!

Sir turns to me, his face alight with power and his voice firm with authority that penetrates and weakens me, "This is where you make a choice. You can either scrabble way down that sharp rocked ravine, gather up your clothes, walk the long, long trek back to town in the dark with no idea what to do - or you can get on your knees in front of me with your head bowed down to me. You will call me Master and you will submit to me in all things. When you submit to me, I will break you of your fears. You will fully belong to me and not be alone anymore."

I'm overwhelmed by drugs, desire and wanting so badly to not always be afraid of being left alone to face the world. My knees buckle into a kneel. I bow down to him.

He puts his foot on the top of my head and pushes my face into the asphalt hard enough to hurt. I yelp. He tells me to shut up and only speak when given permission. He presses down harder and I want so badly to cry out again, but I don't. He eases the pressure a little. Oddly, as he does, I begin to feel light headed from smelling oils rising off the still warm asphalt.

He orders me to put my hands behind my back, then uses my belt to bind them together, all while still grinding my face into the road with his boot. I feel any remaining desire to physically resist him fall away as he finishes binding my hands behind me. I am captured. I realize that he is the predator he had warned me against. He used my weakness to capture me.

He takes his foot off my head. "Kiss my boots," he commands. It feels degrading but I don't have a choice. As I am about to comply, I hear motorcycles approaching. Mortified, I look over to see who is coming. They are surprisingly close. Master grabs my head, turning it back and down to his boots, forcing my face down onto one of them. "Kiss my boot, bitch!" I kiss his boot. He lets go of my head, "now kiss them both and keep kissing them." I kiss both boots. The smell and taste of the leather triggers my boner to pop back up after it had settled down some when my face was smashed into the asphalt. The humiliation of being discovered by the motorcyclists, naked, bound and kissing my Master's boots, just makes me hornier.

The motorcycles slow and stop.

"Keep kissing bitch!" I feel utterly exposed and vulnerable but I keep kissing his boots -- they are beginning to get moist from my lips. There is something soothing about it.

"Hey, Ace, watcha got there?" one of the bikers hoots out.

"Breaking this bitch," his alpha status clear in his tone. "Get things ready at the club."

"Oh fuck yeah!", the biker yells as he drives by and gives my ass a hard leather-gloved slap. Followed by a hard slap on the other cheek from the other biker as he drives off. It stings like hell. I keep kissing Master's boots -- feeling confused by how much the pain and humiliation turns me on. My balls are up tight and my cock head swells as I feel completely demeaned by Master and the bikers.

"That's right bitch. You will beg me to claim you as my property to do with as I want. You will be naked at all times. There will be nothing left of you from before me. You will be my fuck bitch. You will submit yourself to the club with no choice but to be fucked whenever and wherever."

He tells me to stop kissing as he puts one foot off to the side. I stare at the boot still just below my face. I hear him rustle through his pouch. "This joint is even more special than the one you smoked at the club parking lot."

"Here is what will happen: You will kiss my boot, then slowly kiss your way up my leg. Before each kiss you will take a drag on this joint and hold it as you kiss my leg. After each kiss and exhale you will stay down and beg me, 'Master, please fuck my pussy mouth.'