From the Ashes

To me, a hero is someone who inspires us to be better. Sometimes they find us when we are at our lowest and sometimes, we must seek them out. The most fortunate among us never have to look beyond the front door.

*****

June 24, 2011

Ellicottville, NY

Collin Miller perched himself on a suitable rock to take down a few well-earned gulps of dubiously described spring water. He had just finished stowing several dozen folding tables into a sweltering, bee-infested shed outside the conference center. It wasn't yet lunchtime, but the temperature had already crept into the mid-80s. That wouldn't have been much to get excited over in the South, but it was a scorcher in Western New York, where locals spent more money gassing up their snowblowers than they did their lawnmowers.

Collin was glad to have his more physical chores out of the way before the hottest part of the day. After lunch, he was scheduled to inventory golf clubs in the comfort of the air-conditioned rental center. In truth, he knew he should relish the outdoor labor while he could, but the humidity and the previous night's imbibements were making that difficult.

Just as he was putting his cart in gear to head for the clubhouse, the handheld radio laying on the passenger seat sprang to life with his supervisor's voice and Collin sensed his leisurely afternoon was in peril.

"Maintenance 1 to Miller."

"Miller, go ahead 1," he replied.

"Drop off whatever equipment you have at the garage and report back to the office, please."

Exasperated, Collin slammed his cart into reverse and headed that way.

*****

The maintenance office was little more than an afterthought on top of the convention center. It opened out onto a roof layered with tar, gravel, and a decade's worth of cigarette butts. It was there Collin expected to find his supervisor, Rob Walsh, a lanky Irishman with a two-pack-a-day habit. His intuition proved correct, as Collin emerged onto the rooftop to find Walsh eagerly puffing away. It was the vision standing next to him, however, that brought the young man up short and swept all his earlier annoyance away. Katie Davenport had come to pay him a visit.

She was elegant as ever, clad in a baby blue sundress that didn't get pulled out of the closet often enough for her liking. While the region's cooler climate did much to limit her fashion choices, she still took great care of her appearance. She'd always geared her efforts toward dignified and succeeded more often than not. To Collin, she had always been the very picture of sophistication.

As their eyes met, Katie wasted no time in striding over to the young man. Despite towering over the older woman, Collin instinctively stooped down and allowed himself to be pulled tightly against her chest in a crushing embrace.

"Hi, Hellion," she whispered.

"Hi, Aunt Katie," came his muffled reply.

When she finally released him, Katie held him by the shoulders at arm's length and regarded him for the first time in weeks. She had made a concerted effort to give him his space, despite his only being an hour from home. After graduating from Syracuse, he opted for a gap year and took a job at the resort with two close friends to ponder his next move. Like so many before him, he had emerged from school hopeful, but uncertain. To her knowledge, he was no closer to making any crucial decisions about his future. It did appear; however, the months he'd spent here had brought him some peace of mind.

To Collin's eyes, the opposite appeared true of her. His aunt looked exhausted, as always. Still, there was an aura of serenity about her. She typically had the look of a marathon runner, walking off a grueling race. Katie carried a heavy caseload as an Assistant District Attorney with the Erie County Special Victims/Domestic Violence Bureau. Her time was limited, and she wasn't prone to taking days off in the middle of the week for casual visits. This fact was not lost on Collin, and it had his anxiety on alert. Another thought suddenly occurred to him as he unconsciously scanned the roof for an additional occupant.

Noting this, Katie gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "It's just me today, Darlin."

The absence of his mother sent some warning bells off. Despite it being a relatively short trip, his aunt Katie had always preferred to turn over driving responsibilities when she could. While traffic in that part of the state couldn't hold a candle to the more populous Southeast, it was still far busier than where she grew up in rural Georgia.

"What's going on?" he asked.

At that, Rob Walsh, the resort's Maintenance manager, chimed in. "This lovely lady drove down here to take you to lunch. She seems to think you need the rest of the day off to do it." Walsh sighed and shook his head. "Well hell, she convinced me. I'll get John to sort those clubs out. You go on with your aunt and have a good time. We'll see you tomorrow."

Katie shot the older man a radiant smile. "Mr. Walsh, thank you for your graciousness. Collin speaks so highly of you. I just knew he was in good hands here. I'll have him back to you fit as a fiddle tomorrow morning."

Despite his unease, Collin had to stifle a grin. His Aunt Katie hadn't set foot in her home state in over two decades, but she radiated pure Southern charm as she addressed his boss. Her blue eyes sparkled as she favored him with that irresistible, languid drawl. Just another tool in the toolbox, she often said of her accent. Katie Davenport was an expert at bending people to her will. Collin's slow-witted supervisor never stood a chance.

As they made their way down the stairs toward Katie's SUV, Collin finally allowed himself a little chuckle.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"You definitely would've had one for a conviction there."

Her knowing smile was all the confirmation he needed.

*****

As should have been expected, it was almost two hours before Collin and his aunt Katie pulled into the parking lot of Rubio's Steakhouse. Katie had never developed much of an appreciation for fast food. Soon after leaving the maintenance office, she pulled into Collin's driveway and ordered him inside to make himself presentable for a more formal experience. While he went up to his room to scrub a layer off, Katie did her best to avoid physical contact with anything on the ground floor. Sanitation and presentability were not a high priority for the dwelling's bachelor occupants.

After toweling off, Collin chose a striped, blue shirt that went reasonably well with his aunt Katie's dress. Knowing her as he did, he was sure she would appreciate his efforts toward color coordination. Upon further inspection, however, he was even more certain that she would not appreciate the prominent pit stains, so he chose a black button-up shirt with a pair of almost wrinkle-free, tan khakis. Debating with himself for just a moment, he also grabbed a small envelope from the bottom of his sock drawer and put it in his front pocket. Finally, in a futile gesture given their destination, he grabbed his wallet and went down to meet his aunt.

Rubio's Steakhouse was situated on the small town's main street and provided a breathtaking view of McCarty Hill. The various ski lifts and snowmaking equipment that speckled the north side of the mountain did nothing to detract from its natural beauty.

Collin did his best to appear unimpressed as the hostess led them through the restaurant's rustic interior to a private balcony off the second floor. He quickly hustled ahead of the hostess and assisted Katie with her chair, making sure she was comfortable before taking the seat across from her. They were then left alone to peruse the frighteningly high-priced menus.

Noting her younger companion's apprehension, Katie gave him one of her trademark half smiles. "Given all the empty pizza boxes and ramen packets in your kitchen, I figured you would appreciate a decent meal for a change."

"Maybe I'll just get a salad," he mumbled.

"You'll do no such thing," she replied. Fixing him with a look that brooked no argument.

Before long, the waitress stepped out to take their drink orders. Collin would have loved a beer but thought better of it and ordered an unsweet tea. Katie settled on a simple glass of red wine. Upon delivery, they both put their food orders in and settled in to wait for their meals.

"Are you still seeing that pretty waitress?" Katie asked.

Months prior, during their first visit to see Collin, he had introduced his mother and Katie to Stephanie, a friend of his who was a server at a local bar. While they had been physical on a couple of occasions, neither had any real inclination toward anything serious.

"Umm...we were really just friends. I actually think she has a boyfriend now."

"You were a gentleman, of course?"

"Yes, Ma'am," he answered, earnestly.

"At least to the extent that she required?" she added with a little snicker, causing Collin to turn a bright shade of red.

She allowed him to squirm just briefly before mercifully changing the subject. "How is our Mr. Fitzpatrick going to look in camp this year?"

Ryan Fitzpatrick was heading into the Buffalo Bills training camp as a starting quarterback for the first time. To an outsider, Katie Davenport and Collin Miller were an unlikely pair to be talking football, but it was practically their love language.

When he was 9 years old, he nervously approached his mother about the possibility of signing up for the local peewee team. His mother, vehemently opposed to any kind of violence, was against the idea. Katie however, thought that the sport might be a good outlet to channel some of his anger.

Eventually, she managed to convince Collin's mother to let him take the field. That summer, prior to official tryouts, Katie, a former St. Bonaventure cheerleader became Collin's first and longest-tenured football coach. They spent countless hours in the backyard learning the game and the experience went a long way in helping her to crack through the shell around his ever-cautious heart.

Sundays, saw the two of them glued to the television in support of the home team. In truth, the Bills rarely gave the pair much reason to celebrate, but that was hardly the point. It was their time. Even Collin's mother would make herself scarce on game day, leaving her two heathens to fend for themselves. For a couple of hours each week, Collin would watch in delight as his prim aunt Katie hurled words at the television that could make a sailor blush.

Collin cherished those memories and relished any opportunity to talk about them, but today he saw Katie's attempt for what it was. A stall tactic. She had even begun twisting her napkin in a rare display of nerves. All his earlier anxieties came flooding back.

"Aunt Katie...how come mom didn't come with you?"

An uncomfortable silence lingered around the question and only served to heighten the tension. Finally, noticing the anxious expression on his face, she answered. "She's working today, darlin'. This is kind of a stealth mission."

Katie reached for his hand to try and calm him. "Hey, she's okay. I'm okay. Everything is okay, I promise. This isn't a bad thing. At least I hope you won't see it that way. There's just something I needed to speak to you about, all right?"

Collin noticeably relaxed, calmed by her reassurance. She had never lied to him, and he knew she never would. He offered her a nod, encouraging her to continue.

"I actually had this whole speech planned. You know me, I'm always prepared. I even wrote most of it out. I realized on the drive out here; I can't do it that way so I'm just going to wing it. Speak from the heart. Lord, I love you..."

After taking a moment to gather herself, she pressed on. "And you know how I feel about your mom. She just...she's my everything."

Collin absolutely knew that. Katie Davenport and Janet Miller's bond was forged under the most miserable of circumstances. Katie was interning with the Victim's Services Bureau in the summer before her third year of law school. Janet was being shepherded through a process that she hoped would finally put an end to the nightmare she'd been living in since marrying Collin's father at the ripe old age of 17.

Katie's work, at that point, was largely clerical, but she could sit in on occasion as the prosecutors walked Janet through her testimony about the years of abuse she'd suffered at the hands of her husband. Her situation was tragic, but her resolve to extricate herself and her child was cast iron. Neither woman had romance on their mind when they sat down to that first terrible cup of coffee in the cafeteria. They were castaways from very different worlds, incredibly lonely, and desperate for any kind of connection.

Collin offered Katie his most reassuring smile before responding. "I know she does. I'm pretty fond of her too."

"The woman has got some horrendous morning breath, but I think, aside from that, she's pretty close to perfect."

"Perfect? I think SHE would agree with that," he chuckled.

"I had plans, you know? A nice, cushy job in real estate law. Somewhere warm, of course. You and your mother...boy, you sure screwed that up." Katie paused to fix him with her most sincere smile. "And I'll never be able to say how grateful I am for that. It wasn't always easy though, was it?"

There was no point in denying it. To put it mildly, theirs was a rocky start. The journey from "Mom's friend, Kate" to "Aunt Katie" was long and arduous. He viewed her as an interloper, and he expressed those sentiments often and loudly. In her mind, she likened those early days to some of her favorite Saturday morning cartoons, where two or more characters would get to fighting and all you could see was a dust-filled scrum with the occasional arm or leg popping free. They would pause occasionally to take some deep breaths before heading back into the fray.

As with most things in life, the most significant moments are only fully appreciated after they've occurred. A freely shared smile. A first unprompted hug. A reciprocated "I love you." Somewhere along the way, Katie stopped tallying victories and began to value them as gifts to be cherished. She had hoped only for acceptance from the boy, but patience and a little stubbornness had wrought the deepest of adoration.

Even now, so many years later, Collin found it difficult to reconcile his initial reaction to her. "Aunt Katie, I hope that you know...I mean..."

Katie waved him off and gave the back of his hand a reassuring pat. "I wasn't trying to guilt you, baby. You were just a little boy and you'd been through hell. You had every right to feel the way you did. Besides, if you ain't earned it..."

"You can't fully appreciate it." Collin couldn't help but grin as he finished another one of his aunt's well-known sayings.

"Exactly right," she responded, unable to suppress a little laugh. "I just...I want you to know how grateful I am that you and your mother let me be a part of your lives."

Knowing a grand statement such as that would put him back on high alert, Katie rushed forward. "I don't know if you've been keeping up with what's happening..."

In her haste, she had slipped into her rehearsed speech. That simply wouldn't do. She hadn't come all this way to lay a civics lesson on him. This was about love, pure and simple. As far as Katie was concerned, this was the most important day of her life, although her aim was for it not to retain that title for very long. She shook her head to clear it and resolved to proceed with a rare show of vulnerability.

"Hellion, do you remember that wooden play set we had in the backyard of the old house? That tower? It had the rope and the slide."

Collin nodded his affirmation and she continued. "When I was a little girl, we had something like that at one of our lake houses. It was a bit bigger. It wasn't one of those prefab things like you had. Daddy had a construction crew build it during our first summer there."

"ONE of your lake houses?" he asked.

In truth, Collin knew his aunt came from a very wealthy family. He had overheard a handful of conversations between her and his mother over the years but was discouraged from bringing the topic up himself. For her part, Katie rarely volunteered any information about her family or the reason for her estrangement from them. Of course, he knew the reason anyway and his blood boiled every time he thought about it.

Katie just smiled and went on. "My family is lacking in a lot of ways. Money was never one of them. Anyway, my brothers and I got a lot of enjoyment out of that old thing. Naturally, they liked to play war in it. I can't tell you how many welts I had to deal with from those dang bb guns."

She added wryly, "Not that I didn't give as good as I got."

She paused and fixed Collin with a dreamy gaze. "As much as I loved playing in the muck with those rascals, my favorite game was quite different. I had tons of stuffed animals. Even more than you."

Briefly losing her train of thought, she asked "Do you still have Mr. Hiss?"

Collin's blush returned with the mention of his favorite childhood toy. Katie had conquered a perilous rope ladder at the county fair to win him the small, plush snake. He had cherished it ever since. Even now, Mr. Hiss was safely ensconced in a trunk at the foot of his bed. A fact that only added to the heat growing in his ears.

"He's...well...I still have him," he finally admitted.

Fortunately, he was spared further integration on the subject with the arrival of their food. They each sampled their meals in silence and nodded their appreciation to the waitress before she finally departed. Katie took a small sip of her wine and demurely patted the corner of her mouth with her napkin before continuing.

"Anyway, I had this beautiful easter dress I used to wear. I'd haul all my stuffed animals out to the yard in this big ole trash bag and set all my bears up as witnesses with the honorable Minister Glo-worm presiding. Let me tell you, that little bug could deliver a heck of a sermon. He was great for putting a whoopin on wayward older brothers too! He had a head harder than yours."

Katie laughed nervously as she drew ever closer to the heart of the matter.

"Lady Luella. She was my Raggedy Ann doll. She got the most important part. She was the...groom."

It was Katie's turn to blush. She didn't risk a glance in his direction but anticipated his curiosity all the same.

"It wasn't really like that then. She was...she was just my favorite. It seemed like my favorite should get the job. Daddy even walked me down the aisle one time."

Katie took a long pull off her wine, before bitterly adding, "He'd probably like to have that one back."

By now, Collin had a grasp on where this conversation was headed. He focused on regulating his breathing and picked a spot on the table to focus. This was nothing that Katie hadn't anticipated. Collin Miller cast an imposing figure. He was well over 6 feet tall and solidly built. He'd gained the trust and admiration of many a teammate with his resiliency and his ferocity on the field always commanded the respect of his opposition. He was also his mother's son, and they shared the same sensitive disposition.

Katie pushed her seat back and moved over to the chair right next to him. She'd seen this look on his face many times before. It was the look he had when he was trying not to cry and no matter how old he got, it always broke her heart. Reaching across the table, she retrieved a small black box from her purse, placed it in front of him, and began gently rubbing his back in a circular pattern.

"I love your mother with all my heart and soul. I would never, ever do anything to hurt her. You know that don't you? Please tell me you know that sweetheart," she whispered.