Fucked Up and Freaky Forever

Mama comes in and kisses Chanel and me. "Shut up, you goof. I think they would make a beautiful couple. I think I'll marry James too." Mama crawls on the couch, on top of me.

"Perfect... my wife and daughter marrying my son. JERRY JERRY JERRY! I can hear it now. I'm an evil friggin genius. Why the frig can't I have a normal evil friggin genius life? Hmmm?"

"Ha... genius... more like Wile E Coyote." Mama taunts dad.

"Now wait a minute.. I'm way smarter and more evil than any coyote... or other four legged animal. That's a fact jack... Yeah... it really is actually. Thank you very much."

Mama, Chanel and I snuggle and Padma walks in with my anniversary gift for Kim. "Here it is James. Padma opens the box and shows us the custom made 24 ct. gold and diamonds necklace I had made for Kim. Every diamond in encased in a custom made 24 ct. gold enscribed casing.

"Oh my God... Mama... Look at this." Chanel's jaw drops. I didn't even tell them how much it cost.

"James... That's the most beautiful necklace I've ever seen." Mama is impressed.

"Yes it is... it's absolutely spectacular." Padma smiles. "You're quite a husband James." Padma kisses my cheek.

Later that night...

Everyone is gathered at my house. Sitting in the den and kitchen, drinking, eating mama's chili. "Kim... it's our anniversary." I hold my wife Kim Kardashian's hand, as we stand at the kitchen counter island. "You're my first wife... my main wife... and the love of my live. So... I had this made for you baby. I love you. Happy anniversary." I hand Kim the wrapped box. Everybody cheers.

"Awwwww... Babe... I love you too, more than anything. Thank you so much. Happy Anniv..."

Kim's jaw drops when she sees the necklace. She looks at every enscription on the necklace. They are all reasons why I love her. Everyone oohs and ahhs at the necklace. "Oh my God..." Kim starts crying. I put the necklace around her neck and kiss her deeply. Kim hugs me around my neck and we kiss for a couple of minutes. Yeah... I have a heart... and a romantic side too. I squeeze her ass... just to show I'm not going soft... And she has the most perfect ass ever too.

"Babe... how much was this. It's the most beautiful thing ever."

I whisper the amount to her. "Oh my God. Twelve million dollars?"

Yep... I take care of my women.

"Why can't you be that romantic?" Mama gives dad a mad look.

"What? I bought you that blender you wanted for our last anniversary. It was breathtaking." Mama elbows dad and walks away.

We all drink and party. Spence gets chased around my house by my cousin Fat Bastard (The Austin Powers Movies). Kim and I make out, then head upstairs for some fun before the chick fights.

Kim rides me, that super talented, very comfy pussy of hers gripping my cock so beautifully. Damn, my woman can fuck. She's wearing the necklace I gave her. Kim smiles sweetly and bounces on me and grinds me, alternating for an hour. I smack her perfect in every way ass and smoke, passing to Kim, enjoying the deep tissue cock massage my wife's pussy is giving it. Kim cums six times, drenching my crotch. We smoke and kiss, sharing the smoke, as we fuck. I cum deep up my wife's smooth, soaked pussy, pumping it to overflowing. Kim breaks out kiss and leans down, sucking my cum covered cock clean, sucking out every last drop of cream in me.

"Thank you for the necklace babe. I love it... and I love you, more than anything sweetheart. Happy Anniversary babe. Thank you for being the best husband in the world." We kiss lovingly and fondle... I get all handsy and touchy feely.

At the chick fights...

Scarlett Johansson is bobbing and weaving... avoiding Pink's offense pretty damn good. They are wearing MMA gloves, a mouth piece and head gear. That's it... no clothes. It's a rule. We are filming the whole thing. A lot of money is being bet tonight. The big money is on Pink to win, but since the loser gets fucked... we're all winners here.

Pink catches Scarlett with a two punch body/head combo. Scarlett backs up. The crowd stands up, expecting a finish. Then Scarlett surprises everyone by flooring Pink with a big uppercut outta nowhere. Spence the ref counts to eight before Pink gets up, groggy, shaking her head to clear it.

Scarlett moves in, misses another uppercut... then connects with a big body shot, se ding Pink to her knees. Wow... Scarlett is winning. Gotta say I'm surprised. Pink gets up at seven. Ten seconds before the final bell. Scarlett moves in for the finish and... gets floored by a huge right hook to the jaw by Pink. You can't be saved by the bell, so Spence counts to ten. The winner... Pink. Spence holds her arm up and Pink gets a big cheer.

Scarlett puts up a great fight, but Pink is too strong for her. After Scarlett wakes up and is looked at by the doctor. She's OK. No damage. The fun starts. She gets on all fours... Pink straps on a huge rubber dick a d proceeds to pound Scarlett pussy and ass for twenty minutes.

"Take that dick bitch. Your my fucking bitch now!" Pink taunts Scarlett, pulling her blonde hair, slamming up her holes with a cocky smile on her sexy face. Scarlett cums twice... And Pink finally cums, pulling out, moving to Scarlett's face and squirting all over it. "Open up bitch!" Pink slaps Scarlett and starts pissing in her open mouth... grinning from ear to ear, enjoying her prize. Everyone cheers as Pink pisses in Scarlett's mouth. Pink grinds her neatly trimmed, blonde pussy on Scarlett's mouth, loving every second of owning her after her KO victory. Damn, Pink looks sexy as fuck dominating Scarlett. Her pierced nipples really turning me on. That sweet ass too.

The main event is short. My bodyguard WWE Superstar Nia Jax beats my girlfriend ebony pornstar Rachel Raxxx in the first round. After a few minutes, Nia pounds Rachel's ass with a giant white strapon made from my cock. Rachel's had my dick up her ass a bunch, so she takes it in stride.

Nia molests Rachel's gorgeous, thick black, tattooed ass with dominant power, making Rachel squirt four times. The crowd loves it all, throwing money at Rachel, making it rain all over her, as she got anally dominated. Nia finally squirts in Rachel's mouth and pisses all over her gorgeous face. Nia takes some of the money and sticks it on Rachel's piss covered face, laughing, the dominant female to the end. Nia is still undefeated.

In the middle of an all night freak party...

"Sweetheart... Are you OK?"

"Yes mama. I'm fineeeeeeeee. Come in and see." Mama comes in my master bathroom. I'm sitting on the floor, super high, pissing all over Jennifer Aniston while Kim films it. Jennifer's laid out on her stomach, her mouth open, catching most of my piss in her mouth. We're all nude. The party's on fireeeee... my crews outside and inside. It's 3 am and the strobe lights are blasting, the music's pumpin loud. The whole house, inside and out, is lit up in blue, green and gold lighting, disco balls flashing everywhere. Fuckin techno music blasting indoors and out. Fuckin cops have been to the house four times already. Liquor and drugs flowing freely. Fucking and sucking on blast. My kinda fuckin party... and I'm fucked up.

Bla... Uhhhh... (Shaking My Head)... Jennifer's drinking my piss happily, with sexually depraved enthusiasm.

I take the camera from Kim and she and Jennifer share my piss, kissing, both sticking out their tongues at my pissin cock, drinking it down with glee. Mama rides me, facing away, my massive dick up her tight ass, squirting all over Kim and Jennifer. Mama and Kim switch. Kim's ass is my favorite place to be. She grinds all over my cock, pissing and squirting all over Jennifer and mama.

Downstairs, Padma is strap on fucking Spence in the ass, while he has on his Chewbacca costume. Braun and Brock are double teaming Brock's wife Rena, while Nia and Chanel double fuck Pink with strapons. It's a pretty normal night for me and my crew.

Outside in the pool, the stage all lit up, music pumpin, my sister Kat (Kat Dennings) is making out with Rachel, nude, while Barry Kripke (The Big Bang Theory) and Fat Bastard (The Austin Powers Movies) jerk off watching them, drinking, on the deck. Horny (Former WWE Superstar Hornswoggle)... my midget sidekick... is being chased around, in his leprechaun outfit, by my buddy Awesome Kong (Former Or Wrestler Awesome Kong/Kia Steven's)... who's huge and is carrying a fishing net to catch Horny. A huge crowd of fans... and a few cops... are partying outside too. It's fucking fun and mayhem for everyone... Except my dad.

My dad is shaking his head on his patio. He walks back in his house and right last my half brother Scott who's streaking, drunk, screaming about Austin Powers and Mr Bigglesworth.

They ended up having a pissing contest... in my dad's pool. I think Brock won. Pink actually finished second. Brock won a blowjob from Penny. Rena came upstairs and let me pound her gorgeous ass and piss in her mouth. I fucked Brock in the ass too. Rena filmed it. She said it really turned her on. When I was done with Brock, I pissed all over her face while Brock fisted her.

I finished the night fucking Penny and Padma. I pounded their asses and pussies. Came in Padma's mouth. Pissed and came in Penny's. Fun times for me and my fucked up crew. I even heard that Awesome Kong caught Horny and molested him. Lol. The little bastard loved it. I love my life. I'm fucked up and damn proud of it. Hey... me and my crew are... Fucked Up And Freaky Forever.