All Comments on 'Fucking Hell! Pt. 01'

Well, that was weird.

5* until last half of page 5.

Well this looks like an interesting storyline, looking forward to more

can't wait for next chapter

Well, it was an interesting, well written story until it got to the executive sexcapades and entered the twilight zone.

AAAA++++

Soul is literally one of the great story tellers on here. Glad he is back in LW section. 5 stars as usual

It was very good until the last paragraph on page 6 ruined it for me.

The office orgy scene was unexpected, considering the rest of the story up to that point. Immediately dropping your pants in the office for a blow job in front of your coworkers feels like something from a bad porn plot. Should be interesting to see how soul71 weaves the mostly family drama into that office group hedonism.

Interesting beginning; looking forward to the next....

Great story - four or five stars - until that bit at the end.

Now there's another soul71 series that I must wait on. Lots of potential roads to explore here. Does Pam know about Simon and Allie"s prior relationship? Thank you!

Good start. Looking forward to part 2.

Always well written, but always a weird plot twist in there somewhere. LOL! The discovery and scope of his wife's infidelity was expertly played. I could really feel the rage Marcum felt. While I've seen the family "support" for a sibling cheating with another's spouse on the site before, you played it the best I've read to date. I struggle to believe this would ever play out like this in real life, but as you lead us into your version of reality, well done. The final twist at the end was more of a distraction for me, detracting from a promising overall story arc. But that's just me. 4* for now.

Suddenly slipped a gear and went a bit weird.

Pt2 soon good story

What a bizarre turn at the end. Just didn't fit in the story. It was pretty good up to that point, but no way a company has that kind of behavior. Get back to the main story!

Well, that went completely off the rails at the end. I found the first four pages to be very, very good. But when Marcum went to work on his first day? Nope.

Well, that took a left turn rather suddenly.

Man did that story go completely sideways at the end. Damn.

what the hell happened at the end there?

Please do't let Marcum forgive his family outright. Especially his bum of an ex brother

I thought it was a good story until the work twist at the end. Didn't like that at all & felt it ruined a good storyline.

Was pretty good but took a strange turn at the end.

4. Really had my attention until the last page. Quite the left turn there. Still want to see how the story continues. Would be a pity to see Marcum become just a man whore.

Keep it coming you have a great story going

Very good story till it got to the nonsense about the entire executive team fucking each other.

Loved it till page-5.

Last page was poor.

Look forward to the next part

Was really enjoying the story until the last page. First day on the job and they're having an orgy in the executive break room?? Hell, it made it sound like he was nothing but a piece of meat to be passed around. And the boss approves of this?? From earlier in the story the boss didn't come across as someone that would be dumb enough to allow something like this to occur on company time and on company property. To say the story went off the rails is a magnificent understatement. Guess we'll just have to wait to see where this goes and if it somehow gets back on the rails.

Although the general theme (family siding with brother who stole wife) isn’t that unusual in LW, the author’s compelling writing pulls the reader along. Not sure about the orgiastic executives, but I’ll keep an open mind. I should note that extreme crying is “bawling” one’s eyes out, while “balling” involves another part of one’s anatomy.

What kind of names are Marcum and Barba?

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"How many houses of white people did he vandalize?" - What does the race of his victims matter?

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If for whatever reason. good or bad, that she wanted to leave him for his brother, why couldn't she wait until they were divorced before fucking his brother? And what kind of a parent, especially a father, lets a brother steal his brother's wife? Any normal father kicks the brother out and tells his son what's going on.

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How cold she NOT know he was working so hard because of her spending? She bitched about her lowered credit limits, they surely talked about her spending then.

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"Please, Marcum, be reasonable?!" - Be reasonable? He's only asking for what was his.

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How much money was in their accounts that she'd willingly give up her half rather than give the armoire back or pay him $2,500?

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"He sent a text simply saying: 'Get a new phone because I ain't paying for your skanky ass.'" - I thought he had already cut off her phone? "He had Barba's phone cut off, given how it was on his plan."

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"Pleading with him not to throw Bill in jail, that he could have anything he wanted," - She already agreed to giving up her half of the accounts in exchange for the armoire.

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"he had witnesses to her adultery" - He did? Yes, his family knew, but wold they testify?

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"In the end, he might have been able to keep his house and money." - Might?

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I would have gone to the wedding and told anyone who didn't know the story.

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"Wondering if he would see any of them upon his return." - Why wouldn't he? Yeah, some might leave or whatever, but most would likely still be there.

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"I'll move the stuff that's in the freezer in the house to out here." - If they're gonna have a key to the house, why does he have to move the food?

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"That Marcum was there to support me when I was a mess after breaking up with you because I killed our baby..." - Then why wasn't she there for Marcus when he needed her?

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There wasn't much sense for him to get into a relationship in Washington, since he would only be there a year.

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"Muting the mike as he released his hold on his bladder." - I wouldn't have bothered muting it!

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"I'm sorry, Marcum, I was in a no-win scenario" - How is it no-win? Let's see, I can lie to my brother, cover up for his wife cheating on him with his own BROTHER - that's a lose. Or I TELL my brother - that's a win.

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"they are family after all." - Too bad they didn't think of that when his wife was cheating on him!

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I don't see why Marcum had to leave because her cousin was coming over.

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Please let us know how many chapters this will be.

Great start and I really can't wait to see how it goes but the Club Hedonism bit on the last page wasn't really that necessary was it?

So far so good. But he should stop having sex with his work colleagues as soon as possible because Pam's cousin is already waiting for him! You told an entertaining story there. Was fun reading them! Hear it from the perspective of a black protagonist in a completely different way! 4*!!!

I like it but its a bit slow in pace.

A black man doesn't run his hand through his hair to improve its appearance.

Other than that, what a great start!

Loved the color blind love between him, his friend and the friends family. Especially the children. Just stinkin beautiful.

A very good story until it went off the rails. WTF?

The story was good. As is alot of your stuff.

The ending was weird though. First day and there's a mass orgy. Really? If you wanted to put a sex scene in why not describe his time in Washington? Its your story, but it didn't fit with the MC or the story.

3* as the end was bizarre.

That went off the rails pretty fast on page 5 lol. Talk about twists and turns in a story, I surely didn't see that one coming.

So one kid is named Marcum and the other is Bill??? Were they just opening pages in a book of baby names and blindly pointing???

You have my attention with this first part. I like the fact he went off on his family and didn't cave ..... yet. It seems odd the "whole" extended family is backing Bill and Skankarella but no one backs Marcum??? One of my wife's sisters cheated on her hubby several years ago and most of the family doesn't even talk to her to this day. She is basically an outcast that no one wants to associate with. Granted, she tried to turn the blame on my wife as they used to be very close and that is probably what made most of the family shun her as my wife is the baby and the most successful and the most generous one in the family, having paid for several family members kids to go to college.

Great story can't wait for more

Started diving at the end. Another of the evil corporate executive sex cultures. Not that they don't undoubtedly exist, just that stories about them are becoming rather monotonous and repetitive.

A typical Soul71 story and as usual it’s a good one.

Scores 5/5, next chapter please

Good story until the sex at work..that was stupid. Stopped reading at that point.

Was liking it until the corporate shaggathon appeared. Just went tits up then as the whole populace seem happy to just screw whoever without a second thought

I agree with others about the board room Orgy stuff. I would think they would have waited for a while to get to know him to see if he could be trusted before letting him know about that, not just doing it the first time they were introduced to Marcum. It just seemed like it veered off course there....

When I noticed that this was a Part 1 I checked to see if Part 2 had been submitted. Now I don't really care. The story got bogged down in the family drama and then it went off the rails with a huge sex party for executives only. The story was well written but lost my interest by the end

I totally agree with FireFox59’s assessment, soul71 great story going; i hope this doesnt go way off into left field. 5*

The story was off to a good start and then it went to hell with the office "politics". That was a crock that killed the story.

Great start to a wonderful story. I see many comments regarding how a black man acts but until you are black it is best to leave those comments alone. Politics be damned, keep up with the rest of the story. Occasionally you lost your way but with this story it does sound reasonable to come back and catch up to correct some slight, THANKS

i was really enjoying the story until Marcum entered the board room at the end. That ruined what could have been an excellent story. The big cocked black man trope that you seemed to have skipped was also introduced.

Great story until the washroom. the whole sex at work, a bad idea.

I was just going along reading this tale growing to like the characters and then, bam, weird shit! The director thing just didn’t fit in, he was treated like some walking dildo and of course, sigh, he’s a black man so obviously he has a huge dick.

Got to be a lot of depressed black guys out their stressing about people finding their rather average appendages. Must be stressful when some BBC obsessed white wife takes you off to bed then cannot hide her disappointment

really jumped in head first with this one. hope he doesn't nail the cousin, clearly a racist, sees the kids playing a with a black man that just showed up with the kids dad and starts freaking out. The end was just so abrupt. the fucking ovaries on that bitch to just grab his cock on first meeting, no even trying to gauge his feelings on the matter. I know this is a sex story website but you dont tell 90% of a non sex story just to turn a corner into a porno, you gotta ease into it.

I love the premise though, thats why I love alot of your stories, the Family betrayal always gets my blood boiling regardless of whether the MC is going to fuck them over or just fuck them. just wish we had a little bit of time to connect with the character and his wife, because it starts out with us already thinking shes a bitch so when she does bitch things the betrayal is muted

Liked it until the part!

4

I agree with sbrooks103x. I didn't rate it because there really is only a beginning of a story here. How many chapters will there be and are they written yet? Not sure I am up for following a story dragged out over 2-3 years or more.

Nice start. Seemed logical. Then sci-fi entered.

LOVE slap-hapy-papy #9

Loved everything but the weird work fuck room. I'd believe aliens came to recruit him for an interstellar war before I'd believe anything like that. Hidden sure, but a perk of the job out in the open... Not plausible.

An interesting story that took a left turn with the sex office party but looking forward to the next chapter

Why company sex at the end? Really weird and ruined a good story.

like two diffrent stories pasted together? Starts off as a family saga/drama and ends up

as a possible group sex thing with some racial references tossed in here and there? odd

Liked it until the break room scene

Will have to wait and see what happens

Thank you for ruining a good story. The story was good until you just had to ruin it with office sex.

Very good read. Looking forward to more.

Going pretty well, until it got very unrealistic and weird!

3*

It started so well and then you kind of wrecked it with this executive sex club. Seriously? I thought his company was pretty good until then.

Enjoying the read and wondering about where the story would go with Marcum's piss poor family, his anger issues etc. Then a potentially good story went out the window for the executive sex club at work. Disappointing ending to the first chapter. Any interest in Chapter 2 or beyond took a big hit.

Holy shit did that story make a right hook into the weird zone. Completely out of context with the rest of the story but I guess that;s where the title came from.

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Cheers

Enjoyed the first 4 pages, kinda went straight into a silly fantasy land with the boardroom orgy. Hope you salvage it in next installment.

Very good story up until the last half page. The office sex garbage adds nothing to your story. I did 5 pages to see what happened between Marcum and his estranged family, not to see a story veer off to some cheap office sex.

The whole story was going great until the last.... I call "Bullshit" on a singles sex club at work, this was never necessary, does nothing to the story. And what happened to the cheating family, they were put on the backburner, while we know that Pam's cousin, Beth, is supposed to get together with Marcum. The storyline was going somewhere but has died now. I agree with what 'sbrooks103' has posted. Please don't disappoint on the next chapter. Get rid of the sex club and more exposure on the family of his. Would like to see a happy ending. Only giving 3/5 stars.

Great story except page 4. I hope part 2 doesn't become a cluster fuck.

So here I was,… reading along. Following the plot. Had a fair grip on the characters. Wondering about a few factual discrepancies and inconsistencies. Then there’s the executive suite scene.

It went off the rails. The companies seemed to be a national corporation and our hero works out of a regional office. Then the orgy goes against everything in corporate culture at that level. This is regional management, not corporate executive. It’s strangely upsetting and I don’t know why.

The story was plodding along until the entry of the break room orgy. At that point Fonzie jumped the shark. Not going to bother with part 2. Still, a 3 until Fonzie appeared, so left that score intact.

Good story but should have stopped at page four

Company orgy on his first day back and know one tried to talk him first and feel him out

Gave it 4* but should be 3.5*

That orgy came outta left field and seemed out of character for the MC to be cool with. But we'll see where it goes.

Drove a pretty good story into a ditch with the work sex orgy. Too bad.

Stopped reading when tge author wrote that the wife spends waaay too much money but then turns around and says Marcum earns enough to cover her “little expenditures”. Which is it?

As with many others posting their comments, enjoyable up to last page when suddenly the company executives are involved in a fee for all sexfest. Seems totally weird and unlikely.

I agree that the boardroom fuck-a-thon was uneeded, and doesn't fir with the rest of the story.

Good start

Love it can’t wait for part 2

I really liked it until the final office scene. That went off the rails.

Amile eh, gotta luv them french gals

Good story and enjoyable reading until we got to the F…….. Room!

Didn’t see that.

Very disappointing.

Very good story line, up until the ludicrous executives introductions.

Waaaay too slow-moving and boring for me. Actually, contrary to what others have posted, the concept of the "office fuck-a-thon", as someone dubbed it, seems more interesting than the prospect of him falling in love with Pam's cousin, or any where else this mess seems likely to go. Either get to something interesting quickly or move on to another story, please.

WTF! Started off very well then the end veered off into a “Dear Penthouse . . . You won’t believe . . .” teen fantasy.

Please redeem this by making the last part a dream the duetting back on track

5 star story until the office scene at the end. Where did that come from? Like a different story all of a sudden appeared. Now it's a 3 star. And I'm not sure I'll read the part 2 even.

Great story. Very enjoyable. Looking forward to the next chapter 5⭐️

I agree with temper420

5 star story until the board room scene. A enjoyable story up to that point about a character dealing with a family betrayal in the worst way with the help of good friends then suddenly some in the office sexual shenanigans complete with stereotypes. Just doesn't fit and certainly doesn't seem like something Marcum would be cool with considering most likely the people in the office are not unmarried. I dunno, kinda felt like the author suddenly remembered this is an erotica site and shoved in the sex stuff that was unnecessary and unwelcome. Disappointing unfortunately, shaping up to be a great story from a great author but unfortunately this one was a miss. 3 stars.

Alrighty then.

Good gravy. This was interesting until the retarded ending?

Maybe there is some essential point to this in the sequel?

Right now it's just seeming stupid.

Enjoyed it until the scene in the office at the end. Just didn’t really seem to fit with the rest of the story.

Whoa!... What happened? Talk about a plot twist!

Liked how this one mostly had domestic moments compared to your other stories. I was hoping for this story to be a story of how Marcum met Angie from the "Cuckolding Dad" Story. None the less 5/5

Liked the story not the plot twist at the end

It was okay right to the end when it whent totally off the rails.

Good start. Not sure about the ending, it doesn’t seem to fit. Why have a company policy against inter-office romance, but allow a singles sex club within the building? I’m guessing it sets up a conflict in later chapters.

Looking forward to more, and more of your other ongoing serials - Unbelievable, Miracle Cream, Broken…

I love your writing style so much. Another great read with plenty of everything I like. Hurt characters that don’t take it lying down, debouched sex scenes included. I love your revenge story and the emotion you give her characters like Miracle Cream, this one and most of the others. Please keep writing.

I've learned to expect the unexpected in your stories. This is starting out like Betrayal; though, I get this feeling it is about to turn into a completely different direction very soon. Great start. Grouch6977