All Comments on 'Fucking My Mother's Best Friend Ch. 01'

What was the point of creating a title from his POV but writing the story from hers? That makes no sense.

Mature. Cheating. Innocent boy.

Keep on writing.

"I checked his balls, and they felt so full of cum ..."

I guess any doctor, even female ones, know that the volume of cum, is not stored in the balls.

He is on the rugby team, and a well-built, muscled young man. Put some chest hair on that muscular chest!

So many boys have that special older woman they pine for. Extra special when it comes to fruition.

Blue balls as this rugger claimed, is the pwrst premise for getting laid. Shy is shy, but claiming an infection and she never addresses THAT is just pure horseshit.

Not sure if it’s supposed to be, but this story had me howling. His balls are full of testosterone? She’s on the verge of an organ? Thanks for the laffs!

The story is told from the woman's POV, so it should be Fucking my Best Friend's Son.

Why is hubby working in London full time. She should just move to London.

In this universe Saturdays obviously do not exist, or it takes about 18 hours to drive between home and the airport.

Simple mistakes must be avoided. As a reader, any mistake will take me 'out' of your story and that is not good for you. Just a few of the mistakes I spotted:

Carol, was a widow too - Alex, my husband

I was on the edge of an organ

then I came and went

He replied, "I would like that." - This should be: "I would like that," he replied. – This makes the line flow.

I write this in hope it helps your future output. Feel free to comment on my work.

Not very good

Short sharp sentences that try dismally to form a story but fail.

People have already pointed out your shortcomings so I won't dwell on them.

I'm amazed people must have marked the story so high.

It just shows that some morons will like anything.

Mis-used words, poor syntax, inane narration of conversations.