by anilsahotra
This is a wonderful and exciting story that kindless the sex feelings in any women
Doesn't your country have a site for your fantasy stories? You use so many foreign connotations and language usage that we Americans or English have a hard time following your fantasy with any kind of easy meaning(s). I cannot give you a decent score because of this and would suggest to you that you do your writing in your own cultural outlet. I'm sure that is is excellent and warrants a "100", however I find it non-erotic in our Western culture.
the plot of the story of good but it wasn't well written....plus the dialogues were dragged.. let me tell you anil that no body enjoys dialogues like ohhhhhh jeeejuuuu pleeaassseeee ffuccckkkk meeeeee haarddd..and that also ten times in a row! anyway work on it..hope to hear a better story from you. best of luck
peace!
You need an english editor.... most of your story was plain annoying by adding rrrrr aaaaaa ssss....what the hell was up with that?
the story started very good, but extending the words made it hard to follow, also lapsing into your own dialect is distracting . using an editor will make your good story great.
damn , i feel like i really want to fuck niba , damn she's one hot babe .
i am lucky in that way , i fucked all sexy friends of my wife then fucked all my close friend`s wives and sisters. any sexy lady needing my sex services contact on my mail
karandewan2000@yahoo.com