Fucktoy Jen

"And why is that?" I asked, almost rhetorically. I then thrust a finger in her pussy, noting that it was surprisingly wet.

"This is what you use to make me come, isn't it?"

"Essshh"

"But you don't, do you? You play around a little and then want to leave when you're supposed to be fucking and sucking me for hours. It's starting to piss me off. So why don't you?"

"Ah ont o," Jen said, now almost sadly.

"Oh, you don't know. Really? Ok, so, where do you want it?" I asked.

"Ut?"

"Wadda you mean 'what'? I'm going to punish you for not keeping up your end of the deal. So where do you want it?" I really didn't think she knew what I meant, so I clarified my question.

"I'm going to smack the shit out of you so, again, where do you want it?"

"I asshhh ease"

While I thought it was nice of her to say "please", she was now going to get it. I remember having to calm myself down a little to avoid any inclination to seriously abuse her. I tried to fight it, and I actually began to feel sorry for her.

"Ok," I said. I made her wait a minute or two for what she knew was coming. I pulled a small, leather, two-piece slapper off the wall hook. The thing hurts but what's worse, it makes a horribly loud noise on contact. It's intimidating. It almost scares even me when it goes off.

I struck her once across her ass, and hard. I realized immediately that it was almost too hard. And the noise was horrific. Her butt reddened instantly, displaying a rectangular welt in the shape of the tool.

"OWWWW. OWWWW. Op. Ease Op." Jen cried out.

"No, I'm not gonna stop. You fucking deserve it," I yelled, but I was faking. Or at least mostly. I did notice however Jen was now limp, almost hanging in the stocks. She had completely given up. She was at my mercy.

I reasoned quickly that first one was too hard and I felt bad that I had hit her. I wasn't going to administer another. Worried, I walked around to the front to check on her and pulled off the hood. She was tearing up. I felt like a fucking asshole. I relieved her of the gag, opened the stocks and helped her straighten up. She was almost a rag doll, now hanging in my arms. Fuck. Too much.

"I'm sorry for hitting you. I'll never hit you like that again," I said, hugging her. I could feel her whimper a little. It wasn't until that very moment I discovered the depth of my feelings for her.

"It's ok," She said, hugging me back. "You're right, I deserved it," she added. Now I felt even worse.

"I don't wanna be right. I just want my Jen back," I said. I rubbed her butt which was now hot from the welt. I was glad I didn't hit her a second time. She would have broken in half and I would have certainly ruined the relationship on top of that. I told her again I was sorry.

She started to cry and cry hard. Oh, fuck, I thought. I really did it this time.

"I will never, ever, ever do anything like that to you again," I said.

"No, it's not you. You don't know. It's not you," Jen whimpered.

"Don't know what?" I responded. There was an awkward minute or so of silence.

"I'm sorry, I didn't tell you. I know I was using you and I couldn't tell you," Jen said, now looking at me eye to eye.

What the fuck? I thought.

She continued. "I got hurt."

"What? By who? What?" I blurted.

"Remember when I would disappear on and off for a while?"

"Yes. I didn't think it was any of my business, so I didn't ask you about it."

"I dated this guy a couple times who one day brought me to a gangbang with people I never met before. I got abused. I got beat up. And somebody fucked me in the ass even though I told them not to. It was horrible. I thought you were going to do that to me tonight. You frightened me."

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I know that's your limit and I would never violate that trust," I said.

Jen continued. "Yes, I realize that now. I had medical bills and I was scared of sex. It just took me some time to get over it all. I know I used you, I'm sorry."

"I had no idea." I hugged her tightly and kissed her on the cheek. "It's ok, I'll take care of you."

"You have always been so wonderful to me and I love you for it," Jen said, kissing me. Oh, no. Not the fucking "L" word. We laid down on a floor of pillows and made out. I kissed and hugged her. We both cried. It was better than sex. And I rubbed her magnificent butt.

"I love you too, Jen," I whispered. I think I had for a long time; I just didn't want to admit it.

Jen had made in my mind another transition. She was no longer the "fuck and suck" hooker girl to me. She became a person and that night and I began to love her as such. And we both needed a person in our lives.

________________________________________________________________

Postscript

Jenny and I continued to date, and while it wasn't the same as when we first met, it was more of a loving, fulfilling relationship. There were sparks of craziness here and there, but it was different and it was perhaps the way it should be. She eventually moved to a western state to be with her daughter and we kept in touch. Inevitably, we gradually drifted apart, although I did get to see her a couple times when she came back east to visit. Maybe we should have made the relationship more permanent, whatever that means.

I sometimes still send her money.