All Comments on 'Futa's Wild Passion Ch. 13'

I would like to see Jenny's mom get broken free of her submission to her boss and definitely don't want to see Jenny submit.

Personally, I think you have almost no sense of how to drive your stories. Several chapters of a decent development and then - BAM - off the rails into some weird direction. Your every story has the same issue. It's like you don't know how this should end, so you're trying anything and hoping to find some decent idea along the way.

Please don't think I'm just bashing you for no reason. Even your ratings correspond to what I'm trying to say. If in the middle of the story rating suddenly goes down a bit, that means something somewhere went off the rails. Most authors have the same issue. For example, if someone writes an incest story about two lesbian sisters, and then suddenly adds cousin, mother, father, and granddad to the mix... It's like betraying the expectations of a reader. Every time you add to the mix, you lose something. Romance, for example. Or the main character changes too much, he or she suddenly starts looking like a spineless wonder, who is basically driven by his/her dick or vagina. And when everything adds, the story suddenly loses its charm.

So stop going off the rails, start planning your plot a bit.

Yes jennys mom must broke off with her bos and Jenny must get her mum to submit to her instead

First, i want to say, i really enjoy your stories. I'm currently reading the second page of Chapter Thirteen, "Futa's Wild Passion." I have seen quit a few grammatical errors, as well as some punctuation errors, throughout this entire series.

If you have not done so, I feel you should have someone proof read your stories before hand. As it could potentionally improve the finished quality of your printed stories. This is obviously just my opinion and it is only meant as constructive criticism. Please do not think I am trying to disway you.

Please continue with your writing, as i am looking forward for more of your stories to come.

Thank you, very much. Troy C.