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Click here"Simon?"
He didn't respond and his eyes remained empty.
Now was the time she needed to be brave and tell him exactly how she felt. She had never put her feelings out there for anyone to walk all over. But she wanted him to know that he had changed her. That she was glad he was in her life. The only person she could count on. The first person who mattered in her life and made her feel like she wasn't a useless waste of space. Regardless of the countless arguments and mini-cold wars between them, she loved him. A simple truth that she played over and over in her head. She loved him.
"Simon. I know that you feel bad sometimes after we have sex. So this might not be the best time to tell you. But I want you to know this—"
"Don't," he snapped.
"Don't what?"
"Don't say whatever it is you're about to say." He stood up, buttoned his shirt and walked around the desk to pick up the papers strewn all over the floor.
Ella lifted her legs and spun around on the desk to face him again. "Why not?"
"Because I don't want to hear it." He slammed a stack down on the desk before picking up the rest.
"You don't know what I'm going to say." It was now or never. "I wanted to tell you that—"
"I do know what—"
"—I'm in love with you."
Simon opened his mouth, but quickly closed it. He shuffled and reshuffled the papers.
Ella bit her lip, wondering what he was thinking. She had never said those words to anyone before. But she'd seen enough movies and read enough books to know that the normal response was 'I love you too'. Had she made a mistake?
When the papers were finally in order, he placed them in a neat pile at the edge of his desk. "You should probably go home," he said.
The push and pull of their relationship was getting old. He had to know there was more. He had to know. "Aren't you going to say anything?"
"Like what?"
"Be truthful with me again. Like you were about Nolan. Tell me that you love me too."
He shook his head. "This isn't love, Gabriella. It's a sick, dark obsession fueled by sexual chemistry. But it's not love."
"I don't believe you." His face was emotionless.
"I don't care." His eyes bore into hers. "I'm in love with Patricia."
"Yeah, but you could love me too." Her heart was hammering inside her chest.
"But I don't. Not like that." His cold words settled in the air. There was no understanding or sympathy behind them, just a matter of fact air.
"You are fucking lying to me! You can have any of those other girls who are dying to screw you. Hell, the female teachers too. But you chose me."
He remained silent as she melted.
"I love you. And you love me too," she said, while he shook his head. "You do!" Her voice cracked as her eyes burned. She didn't want to cry. Not this time. Once again she had given everything and he relinquished nothing. "If it wasn't love, then why did you continue to come back to me? And don't you dare say it was sex, because—"
"But that's what it was Gabriella, and nothing more."
She shook her head, refusing to look at him.
"And that's all it ever has been. I'm sorry, but I never led you to believe it was more."
Her whole body burned from within. She lifted her damp hair from the back of her neck, hoping to cool down. She had not misread all those signs for a year. He was scared, she understood that, but he had to give her something. He had to let her know that she wasn't in this battle alone.
"So you're telling me that from the very first time until now, that the only reason you kept coming back to me...the only reason you laughed with me or held me was because of sex? Is that what you're saying?"
He placed his hands in his pockets and nodded. "Yeah."
She was hoping she'd feel numb, but she didn't. She felt stupid. Angry. Stupid for putting her feelings out there, and angry that she had given into him instead of sticking to her original plan. What was so hard about checking up on him and then leaving?
Ella stared at the door. The expression broken heart didn't seem to apply to her. To imply that a heart was broken, meant that there were pieces, shards that were still there but shattered. Ella felt nothing inside. She couldn't even feel it beating. Hollow, like the Tin Man. That movie kept her company many afternoons when she was a kid.
She used to debate who had it worse. Dorothy's was the easiest. Home didn't mean shit, and Oz was much better than the farm where no one cared about her. The Scarecrow—well, sometimes ignorance was bliss. The Cowardly Lion, courage wasn't always just standing up to people. It came in many forms.
But no heart? How were you supposed to have compassion for anyone or anything? What was the point of living if you couldn't share that with someone? And although she had kept hers guarded for years, something she learned from her mother, she now understood why protecting it was vital. To not let someone trample over it and toss it aside like garbage. She had offered Simon her heart and short of that, there was nothing she could do.
Actually...there was something she could do.
She slid off the desk and pulled her dress back on. She found her phone on the couch and dialed the last missed call.
As it rang, she stared Simon in the face.
"Hey, Nolan," she said when he answered. "Thank you for calling earlier, I just couldn't get to the phone." Simon's eyes narrowed. "But I've been doing some thinking about what we talked about and I'd love to be your girlfriend. Well, I know you were asleep so we can talk about it tomorrow. Goodnight."
Ella snapped her phone shut and grabbed her coat. Simon didn't utter a word as she left his office. She had finally gotten the message.
*
Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Chapter 6 is on the way. And the usual thanks to my dynamic duo, Kaia and August...thanks so much for your guidance and support.
Soular
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 7 years agoWow, this is a terrific story and three believable entwined characters. I am very grateful you wrote it and inpressed by your skill. I hope you keep writing. Is your work available elsewhere?
Anonymousalmost 10 years agoI have never in all my time on this earth ever registered the tin man and love! But my god the way you present the written word; leaves me speechless! I read that part to my boyfriend and he said that is something he'd pay money to read in a novel! I sure hope you are using your talent, cause you certainly have a gift!
mitchawaabout 10 years agoYour presentation of Elle's confession of her love for Simon is one of the best, emotional, and thoughtful erotic scenes I've ever read.
Anonymousover 13 years agoyou know what im not one to exaggerate how much i love a story and i hardly comment, but this story in my opinion cannot be compared to the other two. Dnt get me wrong i enjoyed the other 2 story but this one is so different and real.
Love is selfish and relationships are nt all happy and uncomplicated so I am so glad that you manage to show this. I do like gabriella as oppose to how others said they dont. i love your story and i really really hope that this one will end just as well as the others
thanks for sharing with us. I like this new direction you take.
Nefatiriover 13 years agoLike the other reader commented, loyalty is probably all that's keeping me reading this story. Seven Days was absolutely brilliant and so was Damn Dress........the writing itself is still very good but dear Lord your characters are unlikeable! And all very silly really. Still, Gabriella is the worst of the lot and I seriously suspect she's not as hot as she thinks she is. Simon is well, full of shit and I am not sure he's entitled to all the self torment he's giving himself, he's not really sorry so what's the point of all the angst???
Anonymousover 13 years agoLove the writing but Simon is a sorry excuse for a man. Ella has no respect for a woman who worked two jobs to support them and give her a good life. And Simon keeps falling abck into the same old trap despite the fact he LOVES his wife. There is just no development in the two sorry human beings they just keep circling and destroying eachother....and Patricia who doesn't deserve it.
Anonymousover 13 years agoto describe Simon is pathetic. Not much of a man at all, and very hard to have compassion for.
AzanianHeatalmost 14 years agobut deeply dislike all three these characters. I read some of the comments posted and I'm with the ones who want to see some sort of development. But regardless of what the upcoming chapters say, I'd like to mention that it's been very difficult to stick around with characters who make me wanna slap them at every turn!
:)
Gabriella is selfish, disrespectful (to the others as well as herself) and delusional. Simon is immature, reckless and a bit of a parasite. And Patricia. *Sigh*
Patricia is just plain exhausting with the lack of self-esteem; lack of courage; and the constant self-abuse.
Poor Nolan.
I am, however, continuing. On to the next chapter, though I would like it noted that (with any other writer) I would've jumped ship by Chapter 2. I dedicate this show of loyalty to the brilliance that is Seven Days.
Plus, as good as you are, I'm hanging with hopes that the ending will be a pleasant surprise. Though I don't know what would please me at this point...
Anonymousover 14 years agoI can't imagine why this story should end with Simon and Patricia reconciling. It is a love story/romance featuring Ella as the protagonist. That being said, the last chapter and many of the other chapters lead me to believe that Simon is no where near falling in love with Ella. He appears to be a a guy in his late 30s coasting on hormones. At the same time, he doesn't appear to love Patricia or to have even a friendship with her. Married couples go out (dinner, theater, movie night, etc.) and they usually have mutual/shared friends. Did he just lose interest in Patricia when his affair with Ella started or was their marital relationship always so mute? Also I do agree with another reader that chapter after chapter we keep seeing the same trends and no real progress in the relationship between the characters (Ella and her mother; Ella and Simon); though I've seen changes in the relationship between Ella and Nolan. I suppose that I am also puzzled why Simon didn't reach out more to his best friend of so many years. When Patricia threw him out it was the perfect opportunity for him to show up at his best friend's doorstep and fight, reconcile, confide. The story is obviously well-written, and the plot ingeniously crafted.This is why readers are so drawn in to the point of commenting. But I would say rise to the occasion. You are a very good writer.
Anonymousover 14 years agoHey, what happened to Chapter 6 that was on the way?? I have been checking, but nothing. Are you still planning to finish the story? I sure hope so. As a writer, you will get positive and negative comments. And even though you are so supposed to be thick-skinned, you are still human. But in the end, this is YOUR story. And you are a DARN FINE WRITER. So, don't...do not let anyone take that gift away from you. And always finish what you start...
Nyeesha
thelaughterover 14 years agoI really hope he can show some attributes of an alpha male hopefully soon if he truly wants to mend his marriage to Patricia. I think the only thing he can do to prove that he is remorseful and really does value his marriage (other than not having sex with Ella again) is to get counseling. He should get it whether Patricia asks him to or not.
His professor friend said that he had better figure out what he could do or offer to his wife and that is about the only thing I can see that would keep Patricia from divorcing him immediately for carrying on a year long affair. He also needs to tell Ella that she needs to make plans to move out of his house on the expectation that he and Patricia can somehow reconcile. Obsessions take time to get over and the temptation can't be readily available.
Simon also needs to be prepared to have Patricia on his ass checking up on him. He seemed resentful when she wanted to know who he was texting. Get ready to have to present full disclosure on your movements and whereabouts at all times buddy boy. lol
Please let Patricia get some finally. She's a beautiful woman that had to fend off the attentions of a man on her trip to Atlanta. I doubt it's an isolated occurrence. And I hope Simon finds out about it and suffers as his ass should OVER PATRICIA and not just the crap he's doing with Ella. I really don't want Patricia to join the ranks of the adulterers. Simon and Ella have provided enough sleaze. But I hope he thinks Patricia is having revenge sex and flips out. It would serve him right. I still can't get over the fact that he gave into Ella's teasing and started the affair because "he might not get another chance like that." Lawd ha'mercy!
Please Simon, show me something other than selfishness, stupidity and horniness. Do you have a shred of character and some brains? lol I think Patricia makes him a better man, but he doesn't have to be perfect. She loves him, and he can be himself with her. He just needs to realize it and get help for those areas where he's extremely weak and stupid.
As for his feelings for Ella. Of course, he has feelings for her. He did before they started the affair. He wanted better for her as a stepfather and because she's Patricia's daughter. Now those appropriate feelings have become all jumbled up with inappropriate ones that are fueled by the clandestine nature of an affair: the excitement and danger heightening the whole thing. It's an illusions with no substance. Once again, counseling is the answer to sorting all of this out.
I'm not opposed to Patricia finding out about Simon and Ella. (I could see Myra letting something slip that opens Patricia's eyes.) I think she's the strongest of the three actually. As long as she rebuilds her life (with or without Simon), gains self esteem and a real enjoyment of life and makes changes in the areas that aren't fulfilling (like her job), I'm good. Perhaps she needs to take a job that might pay less but makes her happy. Ella may just have to get a job to help with the bills if Patricia moves out of Simon's house still in the dark as to the affair.
As for Ella, I really want her to find true love. I think then she might understand Simon's dilemma. Nolan may not turn out to be the love of her life, but perhaps a relationship with him can help her learn to value and undestand what a balanced and nurturing relationship based on real love and respect is like. Then she'll have that experience to build on in later relationships. She gets neither of those things from Simon. Even though he's breached the trust of his marriage, he's already pledged those things to Patricia.
I know Ella brought this on herself, and while she deserves every bit of the heartache and pain she's getting from Simon, well, I'm a softy, I guess. Except where Simon is concerned. He can't suffer enough for me, and especially if it's on account of thnking/fearing he'll lose Patricia. And I don't dislike him, but there are consequences for every action. Carrying on a year long affair justifies mucho suffering on his part for me.
Hurry up and post. It's been too long. lol
darknesscallingover 14 years agoOh no, from what I'm seeing am I the only one who wants Simon and Ella together? I'm starting to get a little worried now because I really really do want to see them together! Sure, it would be nice for Patricia to find someone else too, but PLEASE not with Simon. And I'm sorry someone has been posting your work as their own. I wish their was a way you could find out who it was...Still, keep up the amazing work..Can't wait for Chapter 6 x
