Gabriella Ch. 07

Peaceful. Loving. Happy.

She shifted and pressed her rear into his groin. Simon ran his hand up her stomach right beneath her heart. "I love you," he whispered, knowing she was too far gone to reply.

He shut his eyes and held her close yet he couldn't shake the thought of this all crumbling and him losing Patricia forever.

**********

Gabriella

Ella kept her eyes on the wall as Bryan dressed behind her. His belt buckle clinked while he fastened it to the front of his jeans. Her black dress formed an uncomfortable band around her waist. She clutched the sheets, hoping they covered her. But she didn't want to bring any unwanted attention to herself for fear that it would create an opening for him to talk. She didn't want to hear anything. She just wanted him to go.

Her panties remained twisted and cutting into her skin, but she refused to move until he left. She cringed recalling his grunts after he had pushed aside her flimsy pink panties, a gift from Nolan, and plowed roughly into her.

After a few more minutes, the bedroom door opened then closed. She sat slowly up. The ache between her legs was further proof of what had happened. Her hair was twisted within a few bobby pins that kept it from falling to her shoulders.

When she was sure Bryan had left, Ella quickly gathered up her things and left.

No matter how hard she scrubbed in the shower, the presence of what happened lingered around her. Afterwards, she lay in her bed hoping sleep could help ease the weight of all that led up to what happened. But the silence let too many 'shoulds' and 'if onlys' filter in.

She turned on the TV in the living room, hoping for a distraction. Around seven, several channels still showed early morning infomercials. Miracle products. Life transformations. Hope was just a phone call and credit card payment away.

Her phone vibrated on the table for the fourth time. Each call had been Nolan. So she wasn't surprised when the doorbell rang half an hour later. But it didn't mean she wanted to see him. Ella took a deep breath and opened the door.

He smiled at her. "There you are. I thought you were going to—what's wrong, baby?"

"What do you want?"

His brows lifted. "What do you mean?"

She rolled her eyes and tried to shut the door but Nolan was too fast and too strong.

"Whoa, baby, what's wrong? Are you mad at me?"

"You're a fucking liar and I'm sick of liars." Ella tried to close the door again, but he held it open. His puzzled expression irritated her.

"Ella, what the hell are you talking about? What's going on?"

"Let go."

"No, not until you tell me what's wrong." He pushed the door open and stepped inside. Ella turned away, when he pulled her to him. "Ella, wait a second. What happened?"

"Get your hands off me."

"Why?"

"I know."

"You know what?"

"Why you asked me out."

"Baby, what are you—" His eyes shifted back and forth over hers as the color drained from his face. He licked his lips and swallowed. "Did someone say something to you?"

"Doesn't matter. You can see yourself out."

"Ella wait! I...I'm not sure what you heard, but—"

She folded her arms across her chest. "You want to know what I heard? That you only asked me out because of what your teammates said about me. Is that true?"

His eyes narrowed. "Who told you that?"

"Is it true?"

Nolan remained silent.

"Get out."

"Ella—"

"Now."

"Can I just explain?"

"I don't want to hear it."

"It's true, alright. But I didn't realize then how special you were."

Ella shook her head and walked to her bedroom.

"Ella, wait. I was—I was an asshole just trying to fit in before. But everything changed when I met you. "

"Why should I believe you?"

He reached for her hand. "Because I'm telling you the truth. I'm so ashamed of ever being a part of any of that. And that I've hurt you. I'm so sorry, Ella." She didn't want to trust his words, but his eyes were sincere. "But I never would have asked you to be my girlfriend if I wasn't serious about this. About us. Regardless of how much of an idiot I was in the beginning, I'm crazy about you now."

He tilted her chin up. "I've never felt this way about anyone."

Ella waited until her voice felt steady enough to speak. "I figured you had heard things about me. But I just wanted this to be different."

"It is different, baby. Do you believe me?"

She shrugged for fear of her voice betraying her.

He kissed her forehead. "I'm so sorry," he said again, before lowering his kisses to her lips.

She wrapped her arms around him and felt her feet leave the ground as he walked them to her bed. He gently laid her down and crawled on top of her. He stared at her face as he tugged at her sweatpants.

When they were both naked, he rested his body over hers. She froze, then fought the urge to push him away.

"If you want me to stop, I'll understand," Nolan whispered over her lips.

"It—it's okay," Ella told him but the feeling of powerlessness gnawed at her. She closed her eyes when he ground his hips into her. "Can I be on top?"

He smiled. "By all means."

Her hesitation and discomfort made her go at a slower pace. Pleasure and pain were written on Nolan's face as she rolled her body over his, gripping and releasing his swollen member, gave her all the proof she needed that he was enjoying this change. He had been so good to her; he deserved a girlfriend who made him happy.

After a few minutes, he grit his teeth as his body jerked beneath her. Ella relaxed and braced her hands against his chest, relieved that she had gotten through it. This had to be proof that she would be okay. The hollowness inside her would fade.

He placed his hands behind his head. "You are so fucking beautiful, you know that?"

Ella smiled shyly. "Thanks."

"You are. And like right now, you don't have any makeup on or anything and you look so damn good. I wish I could stay here with you all day."

"Me too."

He looked at the clock on her nightstand. "Fuck, it's already nine thirty. I have to leave in a little bit, baby."

"I know."

He yawned. "You know, you can always come with me."

"But it's an away game."

He grinned. "You sound like it's in another country or something. It's just two hours away. People travel to see us all the time. Girlfriends included. They follow behind the bus."

Ella scoffed. "I'm not that kind of girlfriend, Nolan."

He laughed. "I know, I know. But if you did, then I could just ride back with you and we could pick up where we left off." He bucked his hips for emphasis.

Ella didn't want to be anywhere near Bryan, but the idea of another long day by herself seemed almost less appealing. "And we could leave right after your game?"

He nodded. "Just drive my car."

She took a breath. "Okay."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But let's go before I change my mind."

***

"Wow, this is what you guys travel in?" Ella asked when they drove into the stadium parking lot. Several players stood outside of a luxurious sleek black and gray bus that resembled the kind rock stars toured in.

"Yep, that's Megan."

"Megan?"

"Yeah, each year we get to name the bus something different. Usually it's some famous girl we collectively think is hot. Last year it was Beyonce. This year Megan, for Megan Fox. Some sick twisted satisfaction having to do with riding. Want a tour?" he asked, pulling her toward the bus.

"Oh no, that's okay," she said when she heard Bryan's voice. He stood in a group of guys near the bus. They were all laughing at something he told them.

"You sure? It's kinda cool."

Ella shook her head. "Maybe next time."

"Definitely, baby." He kissed her.

"On the bus gentlemen," she heard someone shout from a distance. A tall pale man with grayish hair gestured toward the bus. Nolan had pointed him out as the head coach, but she couldn't remember his name. "Coach Daniels, count 'em in."

"Yes sir," a handsome young black man answered sporting a red ball cap. "Alright, you heard the man. On the bus. Move it."

Nolan pecked her lips again, lifting her from the ground.

"Come on, Casanova, pack it in," Coach Daniels yelled in their direction, his hands resting on his hips.

"Coming Coach," Nolan answered back. He kissed her once more before he grabbed his bag and sprinted to the bus.

"You're on offense, right?" she called out to him.

He turned and rolled his eyes before he grinned and hopped on the bus.

Ella kept up with the row of cars that followed behind the bus. She scanned the radio stations, but they were all stuck on annoying DJ chatter or endless commercials. She pressed the CD button and suddenly Rod Stewart's voice filled the car. Ella burst into laughter at the thought of a big guy like Nolan listening to love songs.

Many of the songs she didn't know, but she liked them, especially one called "Downtown Train". She had pressed repeat on the song for the third time when the bus made a sharp right and shifted onto an exit ramp.

She followed then turned into the gas station with the other cars as the bus came to a stop. The shouting ahead caught her attention. Several people got out of their cars.

Ella climbed out of the 4Runner and looked toward the bus where chaos and commotion erupted. The doors flung open and several players rushed off, some laughing and excited, others quiet.

Ella felt queasy. The tinted windows barred bystanders from peeking in and none of guys were close enough to ask any questions. She shielded her eyes from the sun and searched for Nolan.

Seconds later, Coach Daniels and another player tumbled off the bus, pulling Nolan with them. His gray shirt was ripped and his hair was disheveled as the two men held onto him. He shouted something back into the bus before they jerked him away from the door.

"Nolan!" Ella screamed as she rushed toward him.

The head coach dragged Bryan from the bus. A thick trail of blood covered his nose and mouth and trickled down onto his white shirt. Redness and swelling surrounded one of his eyes. He said something over the coach's head, which sent Nolan charging toward him. Coach Daniels and another teammate pulled him back in time.

"That's enough!" the head coach shouted at Bryan, as he shoved him back. Bryan reluctantly turned and walked away, but Ella noticed his limp.

Her stomach dropped to the bottom of her feet. She couldn't move as she watched the tail-end of a brawl between Nolan and Bryan. No matter how she wished it had been about something random, Ella knew deep down, it was about her. Her throat felt rusted shut. Tremors shot through her hands.

Nolan turned toward her, his green eyes burned with anger. He pushed both men away from him and ran towards her.

"Tell me he's lying!" he shouted, right before Coach Daniels and two other players caught up to him, barring him from getting closer. He yelled over their heads. "Tell me he's lying!"

Ella's temples throbbed as tears formed. Others, who had gotten out of their vehicles, were now staring at her. The clichéd words of how she never meant to hurt him and she was sorry rested on the tip of her tongue. But they refused to tumble out, confirming her guilt even more.

"Oh, my God!" he yelled. "Is there anyone on that bus you haven't fucked, you slut!"

The head coach appeared behind them and yanked Nolan by his collar, ripping his shirt even more. "Knock it off! Nolan Jeffries, you get your ass on that bus right now! You and Bryan are suspended today and you keep testing me, I'll sit your ass for the duration of the season."

Nolan stared at her for a moment longer before he turned away, his anger and hurt etched into her memory. The head coach followed behind. "In the back, Jeffries. In front, Saunders. Now!"

Bryan spit out blood before he stepped back onto the bus. Coach Daniels turned in her direction and shook his head before he closed the door behind him.

The bus drove off, taking with it the long throng of cars. Each onlooker slowed as they passed her. Ella's face burned with shame as she stood rooted in place, still facing the empty spot where Nolan had been. After the crowd was long gone, her humiliation washed away, leaving behind emptiness. Numbness. A feeling she had grown familiar with. A natural armor that kept her sane and protected amongst the stares and gossip whispered behind her back that weren't quite so out of earshot. She had lowered it and trusted too much.

The worst part was that she had hurt herself more than any of them ever could. All her bad decisions flashed before her. The rumors in grade school had started because of a poor decision. The fight on the bus today had started because of her decision. Her heart had been cut open and bled dry by Simon because of a random decision she made to get back at him for hiding her cell phone. A fucking phone.

Cars came and went while Ella sat in Nolan's car at the gas station. The sun was setting by the time she made the short trip back to the Darby campus. She took off the necklace he'd given her the night before and put it in the glove compartment.

**********

Simon

It was freezing, past midnight and he was beyond tired from the four hour trip back from Asheville after Patricia's last interview. He hoped she hadn't awoken when he rushed out due to the urgent call he had received. Simon tapped on the glass doors. Eli, the old night security guard who he had been friendly with over the years, walked towards him and opened the doors to Grayson Hall.

"At first I was gonna call the police," Eli said as they walked down the corridor. "But when I saw she had got into your office with a key, I thought to myself, 'maybe I should call him first in case this is something he don't want a lot of people knowing about'."

"No, it's fine. She's my stepdaughter," Simon interjected to diffuse any possible rumors.

His eyebrows shot up. "Oh."

Simon had become used to the surprised reaction his interracial family garnered. He thanked Eli and bid him goodnight before he had to explain any further.

Outside his office, he heard Gabriella's muffled voice through the door. He quietly turned the knob and cracked the door an inch. She sat on his desk, facing the wall.

"No, my birthday was Friday," she said flatly into his office phone. "Thanks. But I called because I was wondering if you could help me out." She paused and listened to the response as she curled the phone cord around her finger. "I was sorta wondering if I could stay with you. Just for a few weeks. I—I promise I won't be a bother and it will only be for a little while. Promise," she repeated before she went silent.

Simon racked his brain thinking of who could be on the other end. Gabriella never asked for favors.

"You there?" she asked in a small voice. "So..." She listened again before saying, "I know, but I could sleep on the floor. I wouldn't bother your roommates."

She waited again for a response.

"Just for a week or so Rodney, that's all I'm asking."

Rodney. He never would have guessed. Gabriella rarely ever spoke of him and Simon couldn't believe she was actually on the phone with him now. For the most part she acted as though her father didn't exist, a cue she no doubt had taken from him.

"No, I'm not going to put them on the phone. I'm speaking to you! I've never asked you for anything, and you know that. I just need your help this one time. I just—" she sniffed. "Please daddy," she sputtered. "Just this one thing and I won't ask for anything else." Her voice cracked as she cradled the phone.

Simon's chest tightened at the sound of Gabriella's desperation. After a few moments, she pulled the phone from her ear. He heard Rodney's deep voice on the other end before she hung up.

She hated appearing vulnerable in front of anyone, so Simon pushed through the door and closed it loud enough to get her attention.

She jumped and turned before she wiped her eyes.

"You okay?" Simon asked.

"What are you doing here?"

"I got a call saying that some girl was breaking into my office. So, now I'll ask you the same question."

She looked away. "Listening to you screw my mom all night didn't exactly put me to sleep."

Simon cursed under his breath. "Gabriella, I—look, I didn't know—"

"It's fine. I get it," she stated in a flat tone.

He sat down beside her. "You know, I can always help you with whatever you need. You don't have to go to Rodney unless you want to."

"I don't need anything from you. I don't want anything from you."

"Why do you turn everything into a fight?"

"Because that's what we do. Fighting and fucking. Like now, I bet we can't leave your office without doing one of the two. Or both."

"Nope, because I'm going home."

"Good for—"

"And so are you."

"No, I'm not."

"I'm not asking."

"Well I'm done playing Simon Says."

"And I'm done with your bullshit. God, Gabriella, it doesn't have to be like this between us. This all or nothing dance we're constantly doing. We can try to salvage some sort of semi-normal relationship."

She leaned back on her elbows. "I don't see a normal relationship in the cards for us." Her chest caught his attention as it rose and fell with every breath. The thin white top she wore did nothing to conceal the hardened nipples beneath. She had mastered the art of being provocative even down to the smallest gesture. It made it easy to overlook what should have been obvious before. Gabriella was a hurt girl.

He focused on his lopsided chair. "Last time we were in here, you told me what to say. So tell me now, what can I say to make this okay?"

"You would think there was a magic word to erase this past year. What's my mom's magic word...'yes dear'? Well mine are, 'fuck you'. I don't know why it took me this long to realize how cruel you were."

"What are you talking about?

"You made me feel like it was always my fault when you were with me. That I made your life miserable, only to have you come back to me again and again, making me think a chance existed when—"

"Gabriella, I never promised a future for us. Ever." He was tired of this, tired of rehashing the same conversation and getting nowhere.

"You didn't have to say it, Simon. It was your actions."

Simon shook his head, ready to remind her that sex and sneaking around weren't the foundations for love and commitment but he hesitated. Gabriella had built a fairy tale around them and wanted to believe it was true. Maybe she'd begin to let this go if she had her chance to vent.

Her voice cracked as she asked, "Why didn't you leave me alone?" It was a question he'd asked himself again and again, one he could easily ask of her too.

"Look at me."

Gabriella wiped at her nose and avoided eye contact.

"Look at me," he whispered again, lightly gripping her chin and tilting her face to him. Her tears tugged at his conscience.

"I can't tell you how many times I've thought about walking out the door and never coming back, hoping that my absence will make things better. But you and your mother are the only people I consider family. There's no one else and I'll be damned if I'm going to give it up without a fight. And that's what I'm trying to do, even though at times I fuck up. At times when I hurt you. When I hurt Patricia. I never meant for this to happen. I'm so sorry," he said, wiping her tears away.

"If I could take back everything that happened between us, I would." Tears rolled down her face, and Simon got the feeling he'd said the wrong thing. "Whatever it is you thought we had, it wasn't real. You're too young and caught up to see that now but you'll realize I'm right. You have a whole future in front of you, Gabriella. Sky's the limit. The right guy's out there for you and he'll give you everything you deserve."