Gabriella Ch. 07

She pushed his hand away. "Did you ever care about me at all?"

Her words and her expression were like a knife to the gut. There was no right way to answer. Each option came with its set of consequences, so he said nothing. He waited for her sarcastic comeback but she remained silent. Fatigue set in.

"I'll take you home." He didn't bother waiting for a reply as he stood up and grabbed the extra set of keys she had taken.

At home, she quickly moved up the hallway towards her bedroom. Simon caught her hand. "You've built me up to be more than I am, Gabriella. I'm really nothing special."

"I know," she replied, pulling her hand from his. "Neither am I." And he had made her feel that way; she might as well have told him so. She shut her door, leaving him with an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.

**********

Patricia

Patricia rummaged through the refrigerator looking for anything that resembled breakfast food. Sunday breakfast would be the perfect way to thank Simon for a lovely weekend. Usually he woke before her on the weekends, but this morning he didn't even stir when she straddled and kissed him. He looked so handsome and boyish while he slept that she wondered what their child would look like. They didn't approach talk of babies often, because motherhood the first go-round hadn't been a walk in the park. She believed Simon having to deal with Ella had turned him off fatherhood altogether. But maybe—

Ella appeared and the mood in the kitchen changed. Her skin had a sallow cast to it and her hair hadn't been combed.

"Want some breakfast?" Patricia asked as Ella guzzled a glass of water. "I'm making pancakes."

Ella shook her head and refilled the glass. Beads of sweat clung to her brow.

"Are you okay?"

Ella didn't answer. Patricia poured flour into a bowl while she figured out how to start the conversation that was weeks overdue.

"Did you have a good birthday with Nolan? I'm so sorry I had to miss it."

"It was fine."

"Did you open our gift yet?"

"Yes. Thanks."

Patricia stirred the milk into the batter. She just wanted time with Ella that included more than three words and didn't lead straight to a fight.

Ella filled her glass for the third time and poured it in small amounts down her neck. Patricia watched as it ran down her clothes and dripped onto the floor. Although Ella was not likely in the mood, Patricia wanted to talk before Simon woke.

"I want to fix this Ella. I want to be in each other's lives without this huge hole of all the things we aren't saying between us. But I can't fill the hole alone. I need your help to mend it." She stirred the mixture. "What do you say?"

"I say ten years ago I would have cared." She sipped from her glass.

"So you don't care if we never have a healthy relationship?"

Ella shook her head before downing more water. "No, Simon and I don't have a healthy relationship. You and I don't have a relationship. So nothing really to fix, is there."

"I don't understand you."

"Because you don't know me. And I don't know anything about you. And because of that, I don't mind the hole between us. It's been the only consistent thing in my life." A light sheen covered her face.

"I've been in your life, Ella. Even when it seemed like I wasn't, I was always there."

"If you say so," Ella said before she turned around.

Patricia saw Simon lurking by the door. His eyes were on Ella's back before he looked at Patricia.

"Good morning, honey." He pecked her lips. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said, although her heart was heavy with regrets. Waiting so long to talk to Ella was one of them. Patricia doubted she'd ever get through the barricade Ella had been built between them.

Simon poured his coffee. "Good morning, Gabriella."

Ella kept her back to them.

"I don't think she's feeling well," Patricia told Simon.

"What's wrong, Gabriella?" he asked.

"A lot."

He sipped his coffee. "Well, I can't fix a lot. But I can take you to the doctor."

"Don't worry about it, dad. I'm sure your life would be easier if I did die."

"Ella, you know that's not true!" Patricia said.

Simon slammed his mug onto the counter. "Is there a statue of limitations on your bullshit? I thought turning twenty would force you to gain a little maturity, but I guess I was wrong. So when the twenty-year-old Gabriella shows up, let me know."

"Simon, don't," Patricia said, setting the bowl aside. This scene had played out hundreds of times before and she just didn't have the energy.

"Don't what, Patricia? Don't hurt her feelings? Well guess what, she shits on everyone else's without a thought."

Ella turned and launched the glass in Simon's direction with the force of a baseball pitcher. Patricia screamed as Simon ducked. The glass shattered on the cabinet above his head.

The trickling of blue glass onto the tile filled the kitchen. Patricia covered her mouth as she looked back and forth between Simon and Ella, her heart raced while a wave of nausea rose up her throat. Simon stood to his full height, his eyes wide and jaw slack with disbelief. The tiny blue shards fell from his back, contrasting with the crimson color that crept up his neck and onto his face. A chill climbed up Patricia's back as his irises darkened. His expression contorted into full menace.

An eerie calm fell over the kitchen.

It vanished when Ella sprinted out and Simon raced after her.

"Simon!" Patricia screamed. Her heart beat rapidly as she chased behind them. Ella reached her door and tried to shut it just as Simon gripped the handle and barreled forward into her room.

"Let go of me!" Ella shrieked. She tumbled backwards and fell into her dresser. The small trinkets and pictures wobbled and toppled over.

"Simon! What are you doing?" Patricia shouted as she pulled the back of his shirt. The fabric stretched and ripped under her grip.

"What the fuck is your problem!" he yelled at Ella, cornering her against the wall.

"Let go of her! Simon! Let go!"

They both screamed at each other while Patricia worked to wedge her way between them. She shielded Ella behind her back and shoved Simon with every bit of strength she had. "I said let go!"

Simon stared right through her with a wild look in his eyes. When she heard Ella sobbing behind her, Patricia blinked away her own tears and pushed at him with renewed vigor.

"Back off. Now!" She repeated it until he finally released Ella's wrists.

"Fuck!" he yelled as he left. The door slammed causing Patricia to jump.

Patricia exhaled and wiped her face. The sights and sounds of her childhood bombarded her. Her father shaking her mother. The screams. The hateful words. Her mother throwing dishes, picture frames and books at him, igniting his anger even more.

She had worked so hard to have a quiet home, had juggled jobs so she wouldn't be reliant on an abusive man like her mother had been. Yet here she was. She gasped for air as memories assailed her. It wasn't until Ella moved from behind her that Patricia realized where she was.

"Oh, my God," Patricia whispered as the blood roared in her ears. "Oh, God. Ella, are you okay?"

Ella didn't answer. She walked to her closet, pulled out her suitcases and tossed clothes into them, hangers and all.

"Ella, don't. You don't have to leave. I'm going to go talk to Simon right now if I don't kill him first. Don't go anywhere; I'll be right back, okay."

Ella continued to pack.

"Ella, just don't... I'll be right back. Just don't leave, okay?"

She hurried to the master bedroom where she found Simon sitting on the bed cradling his head in his hands. He looked up at her, his eyes no longer dark and angry, but worried and scared.

"Patricia, I'm so sorry. I—I can't believe I did that. I can't. I'm so fucking sorry, you have no idea."

Patricia wanted to reassure him that everything would be alright but she couldn't shake off what she had seen. "Have you ever done that to her before?"

"No, never. I swear it," he said with a vehement shake of his head. "I lost it for a moment and it will never happen again. I'm so sorry. I swear. I'll apologize to her. I'll do it now," he told her as he stood.

He glanced in Ella's room before turning to Patricia. "Where is she?"

"Ella?" Patricia called out. She searched the kitchen and then the living room. Through the window, she saw Ella standing in the driveway with her bags. She rushed outside, trying to figure out what she could say. When she approached, she heard Ella giving someone their address.

"Please, you don't have to leave."

Ella closed her phone and looked down the street. "I—I can't be here anymore."

"I understand you're upset, you have every right to be." Patricia moved closer to her. "Has he ever hit you?"

"No," Ella said with a weak voice. "But everything will be better if I leave."

Patricia sobbed and hugged her. "That's not true. We want you here. I want you here. Please, stay."

For the first time in years, Ella didn't push her away.

"You don't understand."

"Then tell me, please, Ella. Talk to me. I want to understand."

"Mom, I—"

"Gabriella, I'll leave. You don't have to," Simon said as he approached.

The change in Ella happened in an instant. She stiffened and pulled away from Patricia, turning her attention to the street.

"Please, don't go," Patricia cried over and over as the cab drove up to the house in a blurry yellow blob. Ella threw her bags onto the backseat and slid in as if she didn't hear a word.

Patricia watched as the taxi disappeared, taking her daughter further and further away from her.

Her throat closed up. Her knees gave out. Simon caught her before she hit the hard, cold concrete.

"I'll fix this, Patricia. I swear to God, I'll fix this."

She struggled against his hold. No one could fix the excruciating pain that ripped at her heart.

She had missed her chance and now Ella was gone.

*

Thanks for reading and I hope you all enjoyed! This chapter took forever, but I really hope to have chapter 8 out much sooner...I realize the long periods of time in between posting are disruptive, but sometimes they are just unavoidable (especially if I want the chapter to be in good shape). I want to give a big thank you to Kaia, my bff and muse...thanks for letting me borrow Gabriel's band;-) And to August and her magic editing wand which forces me to step up my writing game. Couldn't do it without you ladies. And a huge thank you to all of you who continue to keep me motivated with your inspiring comments and emails...you make it worthwhile.

I'll keep the playlist for chapter 7 (and vids) up on my Bio page until chapter 8.

Soular