Gabriel's Story

We didn't talk about what happened, but we refrained from showering together again. We still shared the small room in the mornings and I know I became more open about my body around her. We just resisted going any further. We are friends and it is going to stay that way.

And we still shared knowledge of my mom.

Meanwhile mom was growing in her obedience. Mr. Dietz wrote that obedience is how she shows him how much she loves him. Placing her in the situations that he did was how he showed his pride and approval of her. Yes, that is exactly the claptrap he wrote to justify what he was doing. I wanted to scream when I read that. That is the worst kind of chauvinist sexism that ever existed. I couldn't believe that anyone would still think that way. I came to loath him the further I got into their perversion. What about mom though? Could she think that way also?

But how do I explain either of their motivations? I know that he is a kind and generous man. He never treated me any other way than with dignity and respect. And he taught me to expect that from others. Mom never displayed any indication of a lascivious or degraded personality around me. All indications as I grew up were that they loved each other.

As I continued to watch some of the videos were shot on location. That's how I learned what their weekend sabbaticals were about when I was a teenager. Some were shot at home. That's how I learned what their bedroom looks like. I'd never been allowed in. It's normal for the most part but they have furniture that stores their toys and hard point fixtures. That's also how I learned that mom sleeps on nothing more than a small futon at the foot of his bed. And I am very certain that is true all of the time and not just for the videos.

In the later years they branched out into more demanding, or should I say degrading experimentation. I won't try to guess when the first time was he had her falate another man; he didn't video it. I'm certain that they engage in much that was not recorded. There are lots of pictures throughout these years chronicling the debasing of my mom.

As my introduction to fetishism progressed at the hands of the two most important people in my life I came to look forward to what would be next for mom. Just like watching GoT. On one session he took her naked in the car to a tattoo parlor. Inside he discussed with the technician what he wanted for her nipples. I was rapt. I secretly longed to see when this finally happened. She lay passive in the chair. The man, tattooed from shoulder to wrist and with long ponytailed hair, absentmindedly fingered my mom. I watched as she tried not to squirm as she neared climax.

Their negotiation complete he turned to the business of piercing mom's nipples leaving her unrequited. She squeeked as each nipple was violated. When the rods were inserted the tech took a little super glue to each cap before screwing them on. My mouth fell open. Never in a million years would I have thought that those rods were permanent. It gave me a hot flash to think that she so trusted and obeyed that she'd allow something permanent like that. Of course she'd allowed the branding too. I stopped the feed.

I was thinking that mom allowed these things to happen. Maybe she didn't have a choice. That didn't seem right though. She has had plenty of opportunity to leave through the years. So why choose to submit?

And there it was. She had made a choice. She chose to submit. All these long years of torment and humiliation have simply been a test of her commitment to the choice. But why test her at all? Why make it hard to obey? Why does he punish her commitment rather than reward it? Or have I missed the whole dynamic? Maybe this is the reward she craves? I still couldn't wrap my mind around the mystery. None of that explained his agenda.

I returned to the tape expecting to see them leave. Instead she just leaned up, pulled the guy's trousers open and popped his cock into her mouth. I had to rewind that several times. She worked his cock like an experienced hand. Pardon the pun. As she sucked Mr. Dietz lifted her from the chair and with her bent over long hairs' lap he paddled the bejeezies out of her ass calling her a dirty slut. When the guy finally lost it she guided his spray over her new tit jewelry before sucking the last drops into her mouth. I wanted to wash my mouth out from just seeing that. But I watched it again and again. It's my favorite one of all. Even now I can't help but think what it would feel like to have my nipples pierced. When I watch I pinch and twist them hard.

He often calls her horrible names. She just says thank you and agrees. Sometimes he makes her call herself these degrading names. Somehow that is exciting to hear. I can't explain why.

As I moved to more recent seasons of their sexcapades about mid-term I watched the Christmas video from four years ago. This one was totally different. I'd been lounging on my bed touching myself in anticipation. I sat up straight immediately. Mr. Dietz had mom in the bathroom grooming her. This is a fairly common occurrence as he likes her to be pristine prior to violating her. He bathed her; shaved her legs, pits and kitty; exfoliated; rubbed her with lotion and dried her. By the end his sleeves were saturated to the shoulder. Any other time a woman was pampered like that you'd say it was decadent, but this was not. Somehow it felt like cleaning your pet. And it felt deliciously dirty.

After grooming his plaything and changing he led her by the leash to the car and drove to the mall. The same mall my friends and I cruised during summer breaks. They walked together inside. Yes, he led her by the leash naked bare foot through the parking lot while people were there shopping for presents. Amidst shocked stares they boldly walked into the salon and into a secluded room. It was riveting theater.

I don't know what I expected to happen next. It certainly wasn't the owner coming in and placing mom in a couch, or two young Asian women in sexy beautician garb with the fronts open exposing their breasts just short of the nipple and only thongs peeking from underneath. The surgical masks added a sorta eerie clinical element to the whole spectacle. Mr. Dietz simply watched the operation alongside the proprietor. She is a mid-five foot Chinese/Anglo mix woman nearing middle age with long jet hair tightly braided and coiled, shapely legs ending in bright red heels. It hardly mattered that she wore a lovely painted oriental mask because I know her. Mom has taken me many times to have our nails done together at her salon. The familiarity added to the debased titillation for me.

They talked casually as the two attendants gave mom a facial, manicure and pedicure. A third woman entered to style mom's hair. I couldn't believe this. Yes, there was humiliation in the way he just ordered up the primping, but she wasn't being tormented or abused. He was giving her a complete spa day. Wow! If you discount the nudity and fantasy girls this was all a very normal and loving gift. Except when it was necessary for the grooming no one touched mom in any sexual way. This seemed the tailored opportunity for a little girl-on-girl play and I could tell mom was desperate for something by this point. I really didn't know what to think. But it was making me hot.

Next they moved to a separate changing/viewing room. Mom stood on the dais as dress after dress was brought out. Some he selected and some he rejected. At no time did he ever consult mom; neither did she speak. He ordered her to don the selected gowns. I guess it hardly matters that she did so standing in the open like that as she has already been exposed in far too many public venues to be embarrassed now by the exposure. In each dress she turned and posed so that he could see the whole effect. This continued until he decided on a girlish pink, open back, plunging neck, sleeveless, mid-thigh dress. It narrowed tight to the waist and then spread to a flouncy skirt made for twirling. She stepped into matching pink heels that were set beside her feet.

Mom was just simply beautiful. She looked like a pink confection. The women buzzed around her for a few moments longer to ensure that hair, lips and nails all matched. I stopped the video. I'd never seen mom look lovelier than at that moment. Mom fairly vibrated with pleasure and excitement. Her jewelry clad nipples pressed visibly against the sheer fabric. She didn't smile; though I believe that she would have any other time though. I never decided if it was the pampering that excited her or the anticipation. It's certain that she knew that there were less charming things in store for her later that night. I'd like to believe she was savoring the moment while it lasted.

For the first and only time Mr. Dietz took mom out publically dressed appropriately. Everything about this video screamed that something special was going to happen. It is a tribute to his videography skills that the viewer could feel that it would be a nice ending. It wouldn't be.

I wonder at the psychological quirk that allows the viewer to leap to the conclusion that he's finally going to treat her well. Is it the pampering? Maybe it's the expensive dress and shoes? He'd never bought anything for her before that wasn't some kind of torture device. Could it have been her very visible sense of anticipation that misled us? I don't know. Because even with all that kindness he still led her by the leash out of the mall and again placed her in the rear seat.

I wanted to believe.

Only after they had entered the nightclub did he remove the leash. Then he did something he had never done, nor ever did again. He took her in his arms and they danced. The only flesh to flesh contact Mr. Dietz had ever given mom was a spanking. Now his arms encircled her waist. She held herself erect and looked directly in his eyes. It was magical! Mr. Dietz is a master of the film edit. He cuts and splices to move the action along; he knows how to direct the attention of the viewer; how to establish mood and emotion, and how to create dynamic tension. He did none of that. He simply let the dance unfold. I was mesmerized.

And then it was over.

They repaired to the bar. Several men looked hungrily at my mom. Mr. Dietz waved one over and right in front of mom paid him to take her back out on the floor. Unlike the first dance that channeled Fred and Ginger the subsequent ones quickly degenerated into sleazy groping. These men shamelessly mauled her tits and ass frequently lifting her skirt to get their hands on her bare bottom or at her kitty. One fellow simply pushed the top to either side framing her pert breasts in the open. He even bent to suck at her nipple as they gyrated across the floor. The lewd display continued. My hand at my kitty matched the work of these degenerates on my mom's. When I groaned I stopped the film again.

Some things to note: clearly Mr. Dietz has made use of one or more camera operators, so these events have been choreographed; the existence of a BDSM culture in our community and their participation in mom's degradation is well documented; this encounter seems to be one of pleasure rather than abuse; I had become completely engrossed in the voyeuristic stimulation. I washed my face and practiced breathing exercises until I calmed down. By then I was watching unclothed.

When Mr. Dietz re-leashed mom she was panting and flushed. He left her in the disheveled state as they returned to the car and then drove to a hotel. He made her stand bare chested at the registration desk as he checked in. The young man stared openly at my mom's tits. I was squirming in anticipation. It was impossible not to think that after all those years they were finally going to have sex together. More than anything else I needed to see them together in any way that approximated a normal romantic encounter. I was breathing heavily.

The hotel was superior. He had rented a suite for the occasion. Once in the room though things returned to normal. Well, normal for them. Mr. Dietz directed mom to step out of her shoes. He picked them up, walked to the dresser and struck the heels off of both in a motion so violent that it felt like he had struck her. I gasped at the brutality. He then berated her for the wanton way she had behaved on the dance floor calling her 'Tramp,' 'Whore' and the ever popular, 'Dirty Slut'. She responded obediently with, "Thank you, Sir and Yes Sir"

Next he grasped the front of the dress and tore it open down the front until it hung like a rag from mom's neck. By this he demonstrated amply that everything in her life came from his hand and could be taken away again. With the dress remains removed she now stood as I customarily expect her to be: naked. Then he turned her toward the bed with a sharp blow from the riding crop. The video now showed the room equipped with his traveling valise with many of his favorite implements. He cuffed a spreader bar between her ankles. The action proceeded inexorably toward some form of fiendish torment that he had not heretofore employed. I leaned forward with one hand feverishly rubbing at my kitty.

Her arms were restrained behind her back with the sleeve. He placed a collar around her neck that attached to the spreader bar which caused her to bend at the waist over the bed. The whole process reflected the same deliberate attention to detail that the earlier grooming had done. It felt sinfully decadent. He now began spanking her viciously for faults in her behavior. It should be noted that despite the very rigid codex of unacceptable behaviors governing mom's life Mr. Dietz frequently placed her in the position of having to break one rule in order to obey another. Case in point; he took her to the dance floor but she had to touch him to dance. He paid men to dance with her but she had let them grope her without permission. For each of the infractions he delivered stinging retribution with the leather paddle. And for each blow she said thank you.

The harshest punishment was for looking him in the eyes. The spanking was double; he stung her kitty with an electric prod, he placed a short dildo gag in her mouth and finally forced what looked to be an inhumanly thick plug into her rectum. Despite all the abuse, despite the name calling, despite the restraints everything continued to point toward the long awaited coupling between them. I was moaning and twisting my own nipples in anticipation. I wanted to see his dick. I needed to see him enter her.

Don't judge. I was presented with an unsavory, unnatural circumstance and tried to understand the unexplainable about my parents.

There were off camera sounds now as Mr. Dietz walked around to the other side of the bed next to mom's head. He sat down so normal and gentle. Drool was already oozing from around the gag. "You are such a Dirty Slut that I can't take you out anywhere without you embarrassing me. All you want to do is fornicate. You're a Dirty Slut. Look how I have to pay someone just to fuck your nasty, dirty cunt?" With those words three naked men stepped into the camera field as Mr. Dietz peeled off six hundred dollar that he spread between them. He looked down at her and said, "You are a disgusting, Dirty Slut. You're an embarrassment." It was only watching again much later that I saw her begin weeping when he said that.

Everything stopped for me. Sure there was going to be sex. We all saw that coming. Pardon the pun. But everything had led toward something personal and tender and loving between them. Instead the first cock I see enter my mom is some young dude that got paid to fuck her. Ignore the discontinuity of a daughter watching her mom get screwed at all let alone for the first time. Obviously not for the first time, but the first time in this twisted Sado/masochistic control fantasy they're living in. And it's a certainty that they weren't getting busy off camera. This site had existed for more than a decade and I am convinced that during that time that he had not allowed her any sexual satisfaction from him or any other source. Whether he was getting something on the sly I had no idea, but I doubted it. All this control takes far too much time to give only part of his attention to.

When the first guy stood behind mom with his dick aimed at her defenseless kitty and plunged in hip to hip without any preamble I raced to the bathroom heaving. I remained there hugging the bowl weeping uncontrollably until nothing but bile came out. The video continued to play. I could hear the grunts and slaps of fornication. The guys called mom ugly names. There would be breaks when I could hear Mr. Dietz berate mom for being cheap and easy as he spanked her for what she was doing with the guys he'd paid for. Then more sex sounds. I pressed my head against the cool porcelain long after the video stopped, crying softly.

That's where I was when Cass exploded into the room. She had to backpedal to stop. All the excitement drained away when she saw me huddled on the tile. Instantly she became the compassionate friend sitting and hugging me.

Naked I clung to my friend and wept bitterly. My tears soaked the shoulder of Gavin's concert T. When I could talk past the sobs I told her how Mr. Dietz had paid three men to fuck my mom. Ok, things aren't quite normal between us when I can say something like that to my friend and she can respond as if that is just a casual occurrence. "Oh, Babe, you're not going find the answers you want from watching that."

That is not the kind of comfort that I was expecting. "What answers are you talking about," I said all guarded like.

Cass was all tender confidence, "The 'why' of their relationship." She said it so matter-of-factly.

"Have you been reading my journal," Sudden changes in context can render amazing changes in emotional states. Thirty seconds into this conversation and the tears are gone and my voice is taking on a hard edge. It seemed that Cassie was taking liberties with my personal boundaries.

Unabashedly she said, "Yes." She didn't offer nor exhibited the slightest remorse at such a personal violation.

"Why?"

"Babe, I've been worried about you. It's what friends will do to protect each other from themselves."

I didn't know about that, but I couldn't fault her logic. I was indeed in need of a friend to look out for me. Only the briefest time lapsed before gratitude welled in my heart for her invasion. I needed her love so desperately at that moment indignation had no place in it. Again I held desperately to her and wept. I wanted to ask the questions of her. I wanted her to have the answers. I wanted her to tell me how to understand the unexplainable about my parents. But I knew she didn't have those answers any more than I did.

When I could, I asked her about the T-shirt. "Where are your clothes?"

Cass is no less subject to emotional swings than any other young woman when the subject is precious to her. Instantly she switched from tender comforter to giggling girl. "They're in the trash."

"I'm sure they can be cleaned. Why'd you leave them there? Gavin loves this shirt. You're going to stretch it out," which is true since she has a full bosom.

"That isn't going to be possible. We finally did it!"

Clearly I'm not as an attentive friend to her as she is toward me. I was at a loss as to what she could mean. I said so.

"We finally did public nudity." Not really the kind of thing one would think someone could be looking forward to or get excited about doing. "Over at the plaza we'd had dessert after the movie. You know the place I like so much? Well his car was just three rows deep in the parking lot and with the concourse the distance couldn't have been fifty yards. Just as we stood to leave I burped from the soda. Since we were outside at the patio I guess Gavin just thought that the time was right. He looked right at me and said, 'That was unladylike. You aren't fit to be a lady in public." He sat right down, pulled me over his lap, lifted my skirt, pulled down my underwear and spanked my ass soundly right there.