Game If You Are

"You." I said firmly. I pulled out some lube and knelt between his legs again. "Me." I raised my eyebrows at him. "Can't believe you were trying to go in dry." He blushed furiously.

"Maybe you take the lead here." He mumbled. "It's possible watching porn hasn't entirely prepared me for the real thing."

"Well I certainly don't moan like Armond Rizzo." He laughed.

"Good- I usually have to mute him halfway through." I grinned as I watched him roll the condom on and started to work myself open. Elijah watched me as I knelt between his legs, my arm reaching behind me. I moaned as I fingered myself, closing my eyes and letting my need to be filled take over... and I felt Elijah's hand caress my cheek. I looked up at him.

"Can I?" I blinked.

"Huh?"

"Can I..." He moved his hands over my shoulders and looked at me. His eyes were filled with lust and he was breathing heavy. I couldn't quite read his intent and I frowned at him. He rolled his eyes and pulled me up on his lap again. "You're so dumb when you're horny." He whispered in my ear. "Let me finger you, little slut." I moaned and my head fell against him.

"Yeah." I whined, in spite of my misgivings. An ass is just so different to what he was used to... but he was firm and he pinned me to his chest- holding me in a soft chokehold as he caressed my ass. I heard him squirt more lube on his hand and I shivered as I felt the cold liquid in his fingers.

He was slow, gentle. He sort of knew what he was doing... stroking my crack at first and slapping my cheeks as he teased me. He found my hole and I moaned as he rubbed in little circles. He pulled my hair and whispered in my ear.

"Just one?"

"Yeah." I moaned my assent. He slowly stuck a finger in and I whined. He didn't quite know what to do, and I started rocking back and forth for him until he suddenly worked it out. "Oh shit." He whispered as I went limp in his arms as he hit the right spot. "Oh you like that, baby. You really like that." I arched my back.

"Eli, more, please."

"Yeah baby." He inserted another finger- a little rougher- and started working me harder, and I was ready for it. I slammed back on him hard and willing and he moaned in sync with me. "Oh you fucking whore." He sighed. "Jesus, you slut. You love this. You love being my little sextoy don't you?"

"Yeah." I pressed myself against him. "More, Eli..."

"Beg."

"Please Eli. Please. Please fuck me." He moaned and he pulled my head back firmly to look me in the eye .

"You want my dick?"

"Yes, Eli."

"You want my big dick in your tight little ass?"

"Please Eli. Please fuck me." His eyes closed and he grunted.

"Oh fuck yeah." He whispered. He withdrew his fingers and I knelt on the couch, holding my ass open as I went to sit on him. He guided his dick to my hole, and he moaned as he lay still and watched me slowly lower myself onto him.

I am a total whore, I'll be clear about that. And thank God I am because Elijah was huge, and rough, and he wanted me so badly. He let me set the pace for as long as it took for him to realise he wasn't going to hurt me- which was round the time I groaned as I felt his balls brush against me.

His hands moved from softly holding my arms to gripping my waist tightly. He was holding me in place, and I didn't fight against it, I wanted him to own me, to use me, to enjoy everything about me that I'd worked so hard on to give pleasure. And he was. He thrust into me hard and deep.

"Christ." He moaned. "You're so tight Gid. Oh fuck." I moaned and tried to hold myself upright as he pounded me.

"Yeah, fuck, you're so big." I whined. "Eli..."

"Moan my name bitch."

"Eli..."

"Gideon." We thrust into each other and his grip tightened on me. "Baby..." He whispered. "I'm so close." I moaned. That was so hot. I wanted him to lose control over me. I pushed my ass out a little more and bounced in his lap. I teased his nipples and he suddenly gripped me tight. I wasn't a human anymore, I was just his vehicle to get off. And that was so. Fucking. Hot. I grunted his name as he groaned, thrusting way up into me, claiming me as his personal whore. I could feel him throbbing, and he gasped as he finished...

He held me tight as our breathing calmed down, and slowly he loosened his grip, and started stroking my arms.

"Shit." He laughed. "I think I'm such a stud too. Sorry Gid. Can I get you off?" I shrugged. When I bottom it's really not about me cumming. If a top likes to see it I will but really it's all about his dick. Mine doesn't count. Still. I glanced at Elijah.

"That was great bro." I slapped him on the shoulder. "Not bad at all for your first time. I guess you upgraded to the fuckbuddy package."

"We can do this again?"

"Fucking better." I grinned and he smiled at me and ran his hands over my arms again. He really liked my arms. "Hey Eli." I cleared my throat. "Question. Do you actually want to see me cum or is that just your weird hetero need for fairness?" He laughed.

"Uh..." He played with my nipple. "I guess it would be kind of hot. I really like it when you cum with me."

"But it's not with you now..." Elijah moved his hands from my chest to my abs, and he swallowed as he wrapped his hand around my dick.

"This good?" He whispered. I closed my eyes and nodded.

I could cum pretty fast when I needed to, and I didn't want to waste his time. He had one hand on the small of my back as the other jerked me off, and he got me there in minutes. I glanced up at him just as I started to cum and his eyes were burning into mine. His lip curled as he saw me watching him. I whimpered, feeling so vulnerable, knowing he was making me lose control. He moaned as I released over his hand, and he let me fall against him, panting. He stroked my hair and we held each other tight until I suggested we should probably clean up because even though his flatmates were in Queenstown, I still had an irrational fear of being walked in on.

We showered after we'd made sure the couch wasn't totally fucked. We'd never done that before but we'd never fucked before and the two seemed to go hand in hand pretty well. Elijah soaped up, and instead of handing it to me he stepped towards me as if he planned to rub me down. I held my arms out, laughing.

"Back off buddy, I can clean myself." Elijah raised his eyebrows.

"You're ok with my cock in your ass but god forbid I touch you when we shower together?" I laughed.

"Boundaries Eli. I have them." He rolled his eyes.

"You have stupid ones."

"Maybe. But they're mine so it doesn't matter if they're stupid." He caught my eye and swallowed.

"Sorry." He grunted. "You're right."

We kept watching Futurama, on separate couches because I knew how handsy he was and I really do have boundaries. Even if they are stupid ones. As midnight rolled around I yawned and suggested I should be off. Eli looked thoughtfully at me.

"You could stay the night?" I laughed.

"I'm good. I'll see you soon."

"Ok."

I glanced at him as I left. He seemed lonely. Poor guy. He really needed to get laid. I mean, by a girl. You know, one who wanted to cuddle afterwards. I sighed as I headed home. Man. I probably wasn't helping with that. Maybe I should back off.

——-

Backing off would have been easier if we weren't both gagging for it. I did try. Sort of. I turned him down once or twice.

"How's straight guy?" Bailey asked as we polished cutlery. I shrugged.

"He's ok." I sighed. "He needs a girlfriend bad." Bailey laughed.

"He told you that?"

"No, he just keeps you know, trying to cuddle, and play with my hair, and all that shit." I laughed. Bailey didn't. He raised his eyebrows at me. "What?"

"What do you mean what?" He looked at me pointedly. I shrugged.

"What?!" I insisted, laughing. "That's your 'You're a fucking idiot' face." Bailey smiled.

"Because you're a fucking idiot." He said. "Ah... You sure your straight guy is straight?"

"Well." I grinned. "Don't tell him but he is definitely not straight. The guy watches Armond Rizzo." Bailey laughed. He looked me over.

"Well that adds up." He said. I grinned and splashed some water at him. He laughed and wiped his face. "Hey dipshit." He said slowly. I didn't exactly welcome my staff calling me 'dipshit' but this was Bailey after all. "I think your fuckbuddy wants more." I laughed.

"Definitely. With a lady." Bailey shook his head.

"If you say so."

——

It worked for another couple of months. Actually, I'd never been happier. We had a little routine: hang out- start with sucking his dick, pause, and hang out naked, then fuck, then hang out until one of us was tired. And once a fortnight or so I'd have to get on Grindr and find myself a hole, but other than that... man. Life was pretty fucking great.

"Hey Gid." Elijah said one day, just before I was about to call it a night. I glanced at him. I knew he'd been going to say something. He was sighing all evening, and staring at me with a sort of thoughtful look. "This whole thing." He cleared his throat as he gestured to me. "You don't think it's kind of a recipe for catching feelings?" I glanced at him. As if. I've played this game before.

"Eli. This is just fucking."

"I know." He swallowed. "But I mean... we hang out. It's in the realm of possibility that could mean something."

"Sure." I shrugged. "Not with you though buddy. I'm not really into straight guys." I grinned at him reassuringly. He didn't seem reassured. He bit his lip, looking behind me and not quite meeting my eye.

"And if I wasn't straight?" I rolled my eyes.

"Aw, come on Eli." He swallowed and looked at me. I raised my eyebrows. "Ok. Fine. In theory, if you were a gay man who I was into... this could lead to catching feelings." He nodded thoughtfully. "But this is you dipshit. I think you're safe."

"But you like me? We're friends?"

"Yeah?"

"But you don't like me like that. Even though you also definitely do like me like that."

"Eli!" I stood up. "God, you're overthinking this." I stretched out and grabbed my stuff. "I gotta go dude, promise I'm not crushing on you, but if you're worried we can stop fucking for a bit."

"I don't wanna stop fucking." I grinned as he caught my eye.

"I'll see you later."

——-

I got home after Elijah's a few weeks later and Jordy was up. He threw me a beer.

"Home late." He glanced at his phone. "How was he?" He asked. I rolled my eyes.

"None of your business." I winked at him. "But satisfied." Jordy laughed. He motioned for me to join him in the living room and I obliged him, throwing myself next to him on the couch.

"I have to have an uncomfortable conversation with you that neither of us want to have." Jordy sighed. I glanced at him.

"Oh?"

"Been talking to Elijah." He said. I felt myself grow stiff and red.

"Oh?" He sighed and punched my shoulder.

"Don't be coy. He told me all about you two." I felt myself blushing.

"Oh." I said flatly. Hmmm. You know I used to have like, an actual vocabulary. Jordy cleared his throat.

"He made me swear not to tell you I knew."

"Well good work." I raised my eyebrows. "Wish you kept that promise." I mumbled. My whole face was red. Jordy sighed.

"Yeah." He stretched out. "Well. Secrets out bud. And talking to Eli- well. I thought I might need to have a bit of a heart to heart with you, mate." He sighed and cracked his knuckles as he looked at me. My neck pricked.

"This again? I just spent like a week trying to reassure Eli there's no feelings involved..." Jordy raised his eyebrows.

"You're an idiot." He said. "Eli said you hang out four times a week."

"Yeah, we hang out, then we... Well, you know... Come on. You know me, Jordy. Man, I can barely do feelings properly when I have them! That's why Jack and I fell apart, and Scott always said I was emotionally unavailable. I swear to god I'm not going to be cut up when Eli gets a girlfriend." Jordy sighed.

"I know you're not." He looked at me seriously. "I'm not worried about you at all. I'm worried about him when you get bored of getting fucked and get a bottom." I stared at him, and slowly my lips twitched. I laughed.

"What?!" I spluttered.

"Four times a week?" Jordy nudged me. " You're not seeing anyone else right now, you don't have time." I looked away.

"I guess not." I mumbled. Not on purpose. I was just ... busy.

"What's the sex to hanging out ratio?." I shrugged.

"I dunno? 70/30?"

"More sex?"

"No, more hanging out."

"And you don't think that sounds a little like... relationshippy?" I swallowed. I shook my head but Jordy sighed and took my hand. "Look, Mr No Feelings, I'm really sorry to be the one to tell you this. But you've stumbled into a classic blunder. I think you've accidentally got yourself... well. A boyfriend. One who has feelings for you. I don't know what you're gonna do about that." I blinked. I laughed and sat back.

"It's not like that!" I cracked open the beer and shook my head at Jordy. "I have a fuckbuddy, and I've had enough concern about it, honestly." Jordy sighed.

"Would you shut up and listen Gid? Elijah wouldn't have told me about a fuckbuddy, especially not you. And the way he talks about you..." He winced. "Look, this always happens ok? No one can be good friends and have casual sex and not develop feelings."

"I can!"

"Well you either need to develop some or man up and stop seeing Elijah, because trust me, you two are not on the same page." I blinked. Jordy and I looked at each other in silence. He shrugged at me. I stammered for a second before I found my voice.

"Are you sure?" I said. Jordy nodded slowly.

"Yeah. I'm kind of worried about him. If this really means nothing to you, you have to stop it. Sooner rather than later." I swallowed.

"Why did... why didn't he... talk to me about this?"

"Just a guess here. But... you don't really invite talking about feelings, Gid. You don't think he might have tried?" My stomach sank. Yeah. He totally had. I looked at Jordy and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Crap." I said. Jordy winced.

"Let him down easy." He said. I raised my eyebrows.

"What's easy?" Jordy shrugged.

"Fuck man I don't know." He sighed. "You so shouldn't have started this." I sighed and dropped my head in my hands.

"Well, thanks for that. I'll bear that in mind next time one of you suggest that I suck you off." I groaned as Jordy laughed.

"You dumb slut." He patted my shoulder. Yep. I never claimed to be anything else.

——

Elijah picked me up when I answered the door and swung me round before throwing both of us on the couch and kissing me hungrily. I responded without thinking. A hot guy sweeps you off your feet and starts kissing you so deep your toes tingle and you're meant to ignore that? I melted into him.

He pushed my hair off my face and smiled at me.

"Missed you." My stomach lurched. I sat up.

"Babe, we..." I suddenly blushed and stumbled on my words. I glanced at Elijah. He touched my knee.

"You ok?" He asked. I looked at him. That had slipped out so easily. Did I call him that often?

"When did I start calling you babe?" I wondered out loud. Elijah smiled a little.

"A few weeks ago." He said. I swallowed. I suddenly felt tongue tied. I had a plan going into this- but it suddenly didn't sit right. I felt my tongue grow heavy as I tried to move forward.

"We need to talk." I said slowly. Elijah took my hand.

"Yeah." He said slowly. "It's about time." We looked at each other. I took a deep breath... and I didn't say anything. Elijah was better at that anyway. "Gideon." He said seriously. "I think I caught feelings." I nodded slowly.

"Hmmm." I said. He nudged me in the ribs.

"Not a helpful response." He said. I sighed.

"I'm so bad at this." I admitted. "Eli..." My stomach churned. He squeezed my knee.

"It's ok." He said. "I can take it." Ah. My heart. I shook my head.

"Eli, it's not that I don't have feelings. Of course I do. I'm human. But I'm bad at relationships. I don't really have time for boyfriends and I usually feel shitty when I can't be the man they want. And if I'm going to hurt you... I'd rather just... break it off now." Elijah stroked my knee slowly. I glanced up at him and he was staring into the distance. He glanced at me and caught my eye. He smiled softly.

"Hey Gid." He said. "There's not a lot I'm asking from you. I want what we already do- maybe with the addition of a few sleepovers. That's it. Well. And you can call me babe in public. I'd like it if you called me babe in public. But if that's too much you're right, we should break it off." I bit my lip.

"Well." I cleared my throat. "Here's the thing. That's fine. I could do that. But... I sleep around." I blushed as I admitted it- but Elijah just laughed and tousled my hair.

"Yeah, you're a damn slut." He sighed. "But... right now it's just me isn't it?"

"Well... yes."

"And is that ok?"

"For now?"

"So what if we go with ok for now- and you promise to be honest with me, and we cross the 'my boyfriend's an insatiable whore' bridge when we come to it." I swallowed.

"I guess." I looked at him. His face fell for a second as he took me in.

"It's not enough is it?" He said. I looked away. I felt my stomach churn and my chest grow hot.

It almost was enough. I was never as happy as I was with him. Yeah yeah, I'd pretended I didn't have feelings- and sure, I wasn't head over heels in love, I was just warm and happy with him- all the time. Talking about our days, drinking beer, playing video games, on my knees... it didn't matter. Maybe it wasn't what movies and books will tell you love is, but I knew how I felt. I'd gone and got myself a man I could happily spend a hundred years with.

But.

"One small thing, that I know is gonna be a big thing." I took a deep breath and looked at him. "I like to fuck. I like to be on top sometimes." Elijah blinked. He managed to maintain eye contact, even as both of our faces turned red.

"Well." He stroked my face. "I'll just have to learn to like getting fucked."

"What if you don't?" I said. He looked thoughtfully at me.

"A don't ask don't tell policy on you getting what you need when you need it? With the expectation you return to me and tell me you love me and I'm the best you'll ever have." I laughed.

"Well. That's certainly a solution." He shrugged.

"I'm not saying I'd do anything to make it work. But I think it already is working. And I think we can iron out the kinks." He moved his hands to hold mine and sighed. "What do you think?" I squeezed his hands.

"I think we are going to have so many arguments about who's on top, and if I looked at a guy for too long, and why I don't make enough time for your dick when I'm tired after a long shift. And I think the other guys will think it's a joke at best, and be total dicks about it at worst, and blame me for being a predator. I think your dad is gonna threaten to beat me up and your mum and my mum will hate each other." I swallowed. "But if that hasn't put you off then... Eli, I want you so bad. Everything we have and everything we can have." Eli sighed and he pressed his lips to my forehead.

"It's kind of put me off." He whispered. I laughed and thumped him.

"Whatever." I grinned and jumped into his arms, pressing my ass against him. "Good luck finding another stand in for your favourite porn star." He laughed and held me on his lap, stroking my thighs.

"Oh Gideon." He whispered. "I really didn't... I really didn't plan on this... but..." I rested my head on his chest and blinked up at him.

"Sorry for turning you gay." I muttered. He laughed and pushed me off him, rolling his eyes with a soft look of disgust.

"You ever take anything seriously?" He chided. I shook my head.

"Almost never, you know what you're in for. Anyway, you already got serious me tonight. That took a lot out of me." I pouted and Elijah sighed and handed me a beer.