Game If You Are

"Fair." He said. "Well... here's to us I guess." He lifted his bottle and we clinked them. I smiled as I settled into his arms. "Ooh." He teased me. "Snuggling before the cocksucking? That's not like you."

"You upgraded to the premium boyfriend package, comes with a lot of extra features the fuckbuddy package skimps on."

"I am so fucking into the upgrade." He pushed my hair off my face and started kissing my ear. I laughed.

"You haven't seen the extra cost though." I grinned. "You might regret it later." He laughed.

"So this is the free trial? In 30 days I have to take you out to dinner?" I pulled his arm to wrap around me.

"I take YOU out to dinner." I looked at him. "Just cos you're usually on top you get to pay?" He shrugged.

"We can argue about it at the till."

"Definitely not." I swore at him. "I hate customers who do that." He leant down to kiss my cheek.

"Hot head." He teased.

——

I yawned as I dumped my stuff on the kitchen table. Jordy yelled at me from the living room and I slouched in to crash down next to him.

"Missed you last night." He put on his 'hard talk with a friend' face. "You ok?" I looked at him and swallowed.

"Yeah." I coughed. "We um... Didn't break up." Jordy hit me.

"Come on!" He threw his hands up.

"Hold up!" I pushed him off me. "We talked! It kind of sucked, but I'm glad we did, and we're trying it." Jordy raised his eyebrows.

"Coward." He said.

"What?!" I rolled my eyes. "Coward? I told him I liked him! I told my supposedly straight friend that I liked him! I think that's the bravest I've ever been!" Jordy glared at me. Then he turned his head to one side.

"You really like him?" I blinked and looked away.

"Well... yeah Jordy. He's my best friend. And I mean, it doesn't hurt that he's like, hot as hell. And he likes me."

"You said no feelings."

"I say a lot of shit." Jordy snorted. He looked at me carefully.

"Ok." He said slowly. "So are you two telling people then?"

"Yeah." I sighed. "Seems so."

——

We didn't like... officially announce it or anything. We just stopped sneaking around. We held each other's hand. We brought each other's drinks. The other guys took about three weeks to actually catch on- I could see them laughing at first, and then confused, and finally, one by one they all actually asked us.

"Uh." Mo sat next to me. "Sorry to pry, but... are you and Eli... like... A thing now?" I shrugged.

"Yeah." I said. "We were fooling around and one night he forgot to say no homo and, well, you know where that gets you." Mo laughed.

"You're so full of it." He looked around. "But really? You and Eli... you are, aren't you? I spotted Elijah inside and waved to him. He grinned and came out to join us.

"Hey." He kissed my head before sitting down next to me and greeting Mo.

"Mo was just asking if we're a thing." I said. Mo blushed and coughed. Elijah shrugged.

"A thing huh?" He grinned at Mo. "A good thing?"He put his arm around me and I moved a fraction closer to him. Mo grinned.

"Knew it!" He crowed. "Mikey owes me $10."

——-

"You were fucking around with Mo, weren't you?" Mikey asked at the bar the next week. I had no idea what he meant and I shrugged blankly. "You and Eli?" I rolled my eyes.

"Ah." I said. "No, I wasn't fucking around with Mo. I'm fucking around with Eli. I don't think I have the energy for anyone else." Mikey snorted.

"Fuck off." He nudged my shoulder. "Really?"

"I dunno what to tell you."

"Eli's straight." I shrugged.

"Yeah, That weirded me out a bit at first too. But it's ok, it's only gay if our dicks actually touch so we make sure to wear protection." Mikey rolled his eyes. I looked around for Eli. Why was I the one always fronting this conversation? Mikey cleared his throat.

"So... are you two... like... Dating then?" I glanced at him. I stopped fooling around and folded my arms.

"Do we have a problem Mikey?" He blushed. "Yes." I confirmed. "We're dating. Weird for me too, believe me." Mikey shook his head.

"Sorry." He mumbled. "It's... I didn't mean it like..."

"Don't worry." I patted his forearm. "My ass is magic but it isn't going to turn everyone gay." He laughed.

"It might." He said. He raised his eyebrows and bit his lip. "Sorry." He said again. "I'm happy for you too. I am. I'm just..."

"It's ok." I shrugged. "It's not something we need to talk about." He looked away awkwardly as I made my escape to anywhere else in the bar.

——-

I let myself into his flat and looked around. His flat was way nicer than mine, probably because between the three of them all working for Weta no one ever seemed to be home. Which suited Elijah and I very well because we could barely make it to the bedroom most nights.

I made my way to his room and, being exhausted from work, I basically fell asleep there, fully clothed, spread eagle on his bed. I woke up sometime later because someone was stroking my back and murmuring nice things. Presumably Elijah.

"You awake?" He whispered. I didn't answer quite fast enough- because I wasn't, not really. "Aw, Gid." He whispered. "Why are you so much easier to talk to when you're asleep?" He sighed, and I tried to will myself to say something in response, but he kept talking and I found myself lying still, listening, still sort of half asleep. "I love you." He whispered. "And I hate that I can't say that when you're awake, but I know how it would go. You'd give me that look... like you feel sorry for me." He sighed. "So unfair that you were the gay one all along and I'm the idiot with too many feelings." I opened my mouth to say something but he was still going. "I feel like I talked you into this." He said. "I feel like you only said yes because there wasn't a better option on your plate. And I'm scared you're going to marry me because you figure why not. And I kind of hate you for that. But I guess I love you more because I'm going along with it." He sighed. "I wish you loved me the way I loved you Gid." His hand paused in stroking my back and he curled up beside me.

I turned over.

"You're a fucking idiot." I said.

Elijah blinked.

"I thought you were asleep."

"Evidently."

"I uh..." He blushed. "Uh. I didn't want to tell you that." I looked at him.

"I wish you'd told me earlier." I said quietly. "Here I am, playing it cool." I smiled and touched his cheek. "Hey stupid. Guess what. The gay guy always falls first. And usually really hard. I'm used to self preservation."

"So... you do actually feel something for me? Other than... you know. Horniness?" I rolled my eyes as we loosely held each other on his bed.

"Eli. You absolute fuckwit. I love you. So deeply. Like, I think I'll die if you leave me. Like I tried to work out if Juárez-Mataiti or Mataiti-Juárez sounded better, which is ridiculous because even if marriage was on the table I have no idea why we're hyphenating our surnames..."

"They both sound good."

"Really? I definitely think Mataiti-Juárez, but then I'm worried Mum will be sad because I've put you first..."

"Oh." Elijah interrupted me with a smile. "You ah... you have thought about this."

"All the time, Eli." I bit my lip. "Eli. I love you." I sat up and held his hands. "Sorry I don't say it." He smiled.

"You're saying it now. I love you too, Gideon."

"You fucking better, asshole." He laughed.

"So when do I meet your mum? Will she hate me? Does she know you're taking my name?" I rolled my eyes. "And your dad? Is he scary?"

"About as scary as me."

"Absolutely terrifying." Elijah widened his eyes in mock terror.

"But secretly kind of a soft touch." I admitted. "What about your mum and dad?"

"Funny story." He bit his lip. "They had a bet when I was ten about whether I was gay or not so mum is in for a really big pay cheque if I introduce you. But dads kind of..." He winced.

"Oh." I touched his shoulder. "That sucks." Elijah shrugged as he looked at me.

"Dude. I'm almost 30. Dad can suck it up." I smiled.

"Well. I mean. If it goes bad I probably only need a pair of heels to make a half convincing woman." Elijah laughed.

"As if." He grinned at me. "You are the least feminine thing I've ever seen, despite being a long haired midget." I smiled.

"Well. Thank you." I hit him playfully. "I'm not a midget."

"Hmm." He grunted non-committedly.

"Fuck off!" I laughed. He grinned and slowly wrapped his arms around my waist, and let his head fall to my chest.

"There's a lot I'm thinking about." He said slowly. "But really, Gid. We're sticking with Mataiti-Juárez?" I laughed.

"It's a bit of a mouthful." I admitted. "But ah... yeah. I guess if marriage was on the table..."

"It is."

We looked at each other. I swallowed.

"You know... this isn't how this is meant to end."

Elijah frowned as he looked at me.

"Huh?"

"When we started fooling round it was like a porno. And then... Well the production value dramatically increased... but the thing is with queer films, they usually end with one of us committing suicide... only we're not doing that are we? We're doing a fucking Hallmark love story."

"We're not." He grinned at me. "We're Fry and Leela. Bit of an unusual journey but we were always going to get there." I rolled my eyes as he grinned at me. "Love you Gid. Gideon Mataiti-Juárez."

"Woah woah woah. You don't get to slip your name in there without an outrageous proposal." Eli raised his eyebrows.

"Outrageous?"

"I'd like outrageous." Eli looked at me thoughtfully.

"Need a ring size." He said. "Hold up." He jumped up and grabbed a zip tie from a drawer. He wrapped it around my finger and marked it with a grin. "Hopefully that'll work." He said. "So what? Diamond? No, that's not you. Ugh. Emerald? Opal?" I bit my lip as I looked at him.

"Are you actually asking? Or is this a bit?" Eli raised his eyebrows.

"You really think I'm going to let the guy who gives the best blow jobs I've ever had run away with someone else? I'm game if you are. Gold or silver?"

"Silver." I said quietly. "I don't need a rock though. Just a band. Maybe our initials."

"E.M.J and G.M.J." I stifled a grin.

"You're really sold on Mataiti-Juárez?"

"I like the sound of it."

"I guess Mum can suck it up." Eli smiled as he clasped my hand.

"If she really has a problem with it I'll take Juárez any day."

——

"The. Fuck. Is. That." Bailey grabbed my hand immediately, before I'd even had a chance to sit down and have a coffee.

"Bailey. Long black. Please."

"Holy shit. Gid, you're not engaged?!"

"Just a little bit. And a lot hungover. Coffee. Or honestly- you're fired." He had the good sense to nod and disappear and show up two minutes later with my coffee. He didn't leave me alone though. He leant on his arm and stared at me.

"Only you." He sighed. "God, you fall into a living cliche and somehow walk out fine."

"I'm that good." I rolled my eyes.

Not strictly true. Elijah's just that into me. And I think I can honestly say, when he got down on one knee in the middle of a crowded restaurant, that I was the happiest man in the world. I might still be. The high might never wear off.

It's funny. I spent most of my twenties being a whore because why not? I guess the media I consumed when I was growing up convinced me it was safer that way. I figured I'd find a nice gay man eventually who wanted more than just to fuck a tight little half Latino- but I never in a million years imagined it would be the same guy I watched stupid cartoons with and played Deep Rock Galactic with- the same guy I'd always gone to football games with and got pissed with. I never really knew the 'like' could turn into love.

And I don't think I deserve it. I'm still pinching myself everyday because Bailey is right. No one should fall into what I fell into and come out not only unscathed, but with a ring and a wedding date and a whole set of in laws who don't entirely trust you, but it's whatever because...

It's whatever because I won the fucking god damn lottery. And I'm not going to question that.

---