Geek to Farm

It took a long time for me to get going but eventually the complexity of my task made me forget my surroundings and I got into a groove. At some stage I was aware of movement but I only took casual note of it. A soft voice made me look up.

"Are you sleeping over?" Jenny, smiling and leaning against the door jamb with Grody sitting next to her wanted to know. "Your dog has had everything to eat we had to offer but we have to go home now."

Bewildered I stared. First at her and then at my wrist watch.

"I am sorry...." I stammered and made to close my computer down. "Time got away from me."

She smiled and folded her arms. "You were in a funny mood when you arrived this morning. There was a visible thundercloud floating above your head. Even Henry just gave you a look and stayed out of your way for the rest of the day. Care to tell?"

I sat down on the corner of my desk and watched as my laptop backed up to the server and shut down. "My neighbor killed Justin last night."

Her sharp intake of breath made me look up. Her eyes were wide, her mouth open and both hands clasped to the side of her face. "The puppy your dad...."

I nodded. "The one!"

"But why?"

I shrugged. "There is something wrong with that guy. He hates me. He hates my dogs and I have no idea why. Until the night before last, they had never done anything to him. They very rarely barked and that was only to announce the arrival of someone at the door or when we played."

"So, what happened the night before last?"

I smirked. "They decided to reduce his rather new garden furniture into little bits of useless plastic."

"Are you sure it was them?"

I looked at Grody and called him over. Ruffling his neck I asked him; "Did you destroy the neighbor's chairs?" He nuzzled me with an expression of absolute guilt plastered across his face. "Proof positive." I smirked. "I just don't know why they did it!"

Jenny just shook her head. "They knew why. Maybe you do not need to."

I shrugged. "Point is. Justin is dead. I hit my neighbor and threatened to kill him. Chances are I will still strangle the dork if I see him again."

She just nodded. "And he will press charges...."

"Guess so," I shrugged. "I'll handle that if and when it happens. At least they did not arrest me on the spot for issuing a death threat."

"And make you miss the festival?" she snickered. "I don't think so."

I sighed and bent down to Grody. "Now I need a dog sitter for that day. My normal dog sitter is out of town and before Grody befalls the same fate as Justin I shall have to find a safe place for him."

"You can't leave him at home?"

I gathered my laptop together and started for the door. "We have two sessions Jenny. It means Grody will be alone at the house for almost a full eighteen hours or more. I know, it has happened before but then there was a Justin and no insane neighbor. I don't know what Grody may do now that Justin is gone. Maybe nothing. Maybe just the wrong thing."

"Your mom?"

I shook my head. "She will do it but I know she hates being uprooted, even just for a day. But if all else fails, Mom it will have to be. Chances are she may even come to the festival so that too is a possible hurdle."

We chatted about a few trivial things, got into our cars and drove home where I was greeted by a quiet house. I fired up my laptop, sat down in front of it, sat there for an interminable time before snapping it shut. I walked outside and stood in the twilight looking up at a half moon hanging high over the horizon. I was hungry but the thought of preparing something to eat was depressing. I considered going for take-out but it just felt wrong. I needed something to keep me busy and on a whim I broke out the BBQ. I loaded it with some charcoal, set fire to it and then realized that I probably had nothing to put on it. I bundled Grody into the car and made a swift trip to our nearby Croger's where I grabbed two thick Rib-eyes, a pack of beers and just for good measure added a bottle of a very special Pinotage. I had learnt to love it in my years of study in South Africa and even though I drink very sparingly, when I do have wine, Pinotage it is.

Once home I opened the wine and set it aside to breathe while sucking on a beer. I rubbed some funny concoction of spices on the steaks and dropped them on the grill. Smoke curled up from them and I opened another beer. By the time the two steaks were about medium-rare I was halfway through my second glass of wine after three beers and feeling no pain. Suddenly Grody growled and I saw the hair on his neck come up just as a light illuminated the Hell house's lawn. I slammed my glass down and roared as I ran towards the house. I vaulted the little fence and nearly had myself run over by a very fast departing Cherokee driven by my neighbor as I rounded the front. His eyes bulged with fear when he saw me and nearly had a wreck as he got onto the street with the poor vehicle careening sideways onto the property across the street, leaving deep furrows on the lawn from spinning wheels before screaming up the road to the Sub's exit.

I stood there looking up the road listening to voices from neighboring houses. Geoff Stringfellow came out of his house and was taking stock of the damage to his, until now, pristine lawn. Still scratching his head he walked over to me.

"Evenin' Johnathan. Any idea what is happening here with Jack? He in trouble with the Law?"

I shook my head and just stared up street. "He killed Justin last night."

"Now what on earth would make the man do that?" Geoff asked through pursed lips. "And why this insane driving? He could have hurt someone!"

I sighed and held up my hand. "I threatened to kill him and I think he was scared I was coming to do it."

Dave from two houses down mumbled. "Would not've blamed you son. That was a fine dog you had there. Never bothered no-one and was gentle as a lamb with the kids."

The smell of meat on the grill drifted past me and with an "Oh Hell!" I turned and ran to my backyard. I knew the meat was possibly spoilt but it may still have been reasonably edible. As it was I had one steak still on the medium-well side even though one side was a little burnt but the other was super well done. Grody could not have been bothered less and gulped it down without so much as a frown after I had cut it into smaller pieces.

Deciding to just leave the crowd out front to their own devices I sat down, took a huge gulp of my wine, refilled my glass and started on my steak. It was a carnivore dinner of note and I made a soft promise not to let my Mom know about it.

The steak actually was pretty good and washing it down with the rest of the bottle of wine seemed a brilliant idea. I spent some time just sitting there simply looking at the sky. I got up to gather everything together and take it inside when some fool tilted the patio and it came flying up to me. A sharp pain registered as I quickly and very ungently connected the floor with my face. I pushed myself up and crawled a few yards with Grody panting next to me. The universe had gone mad and was spinning around me. I tried to get up and just as I got my feet under me I suddenly gained forward speed and with arms outstretched, crashed headlong into the rough brick corner of the house. Somewhere in the back of my mind I started to realize that I was hopelessly drunk and rolled onto my back, staring at the moon again. The fact that it was only half suddenly seemed the funniest thing ever and I started laughing like a fool.

Somewhere I stopped laughing and possibly passed out because when I came to my senses again I was shaking with cold and my body ached. Grody had draped himself over me and possibly saved me from hypothermia. I softly pushed against him and groggily got to my feet. My head still swam but I managed to get inside the house without falling and slowly made my way to my bedroom. My teeth chattered and it was difficult to take proper steps. My legs were stiff with cold and refused to move out far enough. I made it to my bedroom and flicked the bathroom lights on.

Chapter 4

With a grunt I opened the shower door, turned the taps and shivered out of my clothes, falling twice trying to free myself of my pants and eventually simply remained seated on the floor and pulled/kicked it off. I unbuttoned my shirt and was mildly surprised to find that it was stuck to me. I jerked it free and was rewarded with a sharp injection of pain into the left of my neck and upper arm. I approached the mirror and stupidly stared at my reflection. The left side of my face resembled something from a Terminator movie with raw cuts and trails of dried blood stuck to it while my neck had deep abrasions still oozing blood.

I staggered away from the mirror and poked my hand under the shower of water to wash away the blood before gingerly stepping into the stream of hot water. Never in my life did I move as fast as I did a second later. Hell fire and brimstone hit my head, face, neck and shoulder with enough vengeance to make me yell in pain. And then I was outside the shower shaking with fright. I stared at the rain of hot water and carefully opened the cold water tap to something just above body temperature before gingerly stepping into it again. The stinging was still intense but manageable and I started to carefully wash the blood from me.

Minutes later I could increase the temperature and at last felt the cramping cold leave my body. The color of the water swirling into the drain was a clear indication that I was still bleeding but at least I was not shaking with cold anymore.

When the supply of hot water started running out I reluctantly closed the taps and toweled myself down, being very careful around the bleeding parts but still sat with a bloodied towel when I was done. In front of the mirror I took stock of myself. I ruefully smiled when I looked at my inner forearms. From my wrists up to my elbows it looked as if I had had a run-in with a mountain lion. That it was going to lightly scar was a given. My face was not much different. Blood was seeping from the left of my head somewhere among my tangle of hair and ran down towards my ear which by itself seemed torn at the top. A small gash above my eye was still bleeding profusely and it collected in my brow before finding a drip line down my cheek where it joined a couple of other leaks from some more deep cuts over most of my cheek.

My neck was a mess of deep abrasions, some still bleeding but basically something a little like grass burns albeit somewhat deeper. An ugly range of ragged cuts surrounded by skin already beginning to discolor over my collarbone was a clear indication that moving my left arm was going to be anything but a pleasure for a few days.

In the dark I stumbled to the kitchen and ripped off a couple of paper towels. Stumbling down the passage I swore and returned for the the full roll. In front of the mirror I dabbed at all the visible leaks and tried to see if I could limit the bleeding.-

I gave up with most spots and simply did the tried and tested self medicating thing. Place a few layers of paper toweling over the wound. In time it will coagulate and stop bleeding. I was in no danger of bleeding out but I needed to sleep and with multiple openings in my facial area and arms wanting to donate blood to anything that came close meant that a new set of bedding would be on the cards if I did not successfully manage the bleeding.

Rummaging around in my limited supply of medical supplies I produced two rolls of crepe bandage and I used that around my head to tape up a patch of paper to the still invisible cut in my hair and the other to tape around my face to hold down a dodgy collection of pieces of paper towel.

Putting a couple of towels in the bed and over the pillows made things as safe as possible for the linen and I flopped down. It took a while before I found a way to lie without too much discomfort and somewhere the remaining alcohol and exhaustion allowed me to fall into a deep sleep from which that blasted alarm woke me long before I was ready.

I groaned and lifted myself from the pillow. My head was a ball of distilled agony and the rest of me did not feel much better. I almost fell out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom where an ogre from another planet greeted me in the mirror. My left eye was basically swollen shut and the left side of my face was swollen. My ear was slightly discolored and I had a momentary vision of me with a cauliflower ear to remind me of the night of foolishness to the end of my days.

Going to work was not going to happen so I simply trundled to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee going. The open back door made me lift my sore eyelid and while waiting for the water to boil I took a casual look outside. The patio was a mess. Under the upturned table lay some empty beer bottles, the shards of a shattered wine glass and a wine bottle with its hollow bottom pointing obscenely at me. Next to it scattered ashes from an overturned barbeque. I winced.

It was difficult to drink. My cheeks felt stiff and opening my mouth more than a fraction caused enough pain to make me almost forego the coffee. I sipped it down and started to feel a little better.

Knowing I had to do something about the mess outside I struggled upright and hobbled to the patio. Without thinking I bent over to pick up the wine bottle and felt my head explode. Gasping for breath I quickly sat down in one of the chairs waiting for the spinning sensation to subside. It seemed like a gargantuan task simply to gather the empties together, shove the table and barbeque upright and just gathering everything onto the table but doing it on all fours made it doable. Getting up was done with some great care and involved moving from the floor to my knees and from there to the chair, waiting for the spin to stop at each stage. Then leaning on the table I got on my feet. Again waiting for some stability before moving.

I felt bile rising and decided to just leave everything as it was.

In the bathroom I started removing the bandages and achieved an Olympian success in hurting myself and starting a new bout of bleeding albeit not as bad as the night before. Having another prolonged shower loosened the pieces of paper stuck to me but I was bleeding quite well by the time I had dried myself.

I pulled on a rather aged T-shirt and sweat pants and laughingly took a selfy which I sent to a select audience while getting into the SUV and drove out. Before turning the first corner the phone was pinging almost incessantly with messages coming in. Almost at the same time two calls came in. I glanced at the id's and cancelled Tammy before taking the call from Jenny.

She was breathless. "Johnathan! Please tell me you did not have it out with the guy who killed Justin!"

"Mornin' Jens!" I smirked.

I could hear her blow through pursed lips before she asked in a low voice. "What happened?"

"I fell."

"You fell." she repeated in a sigh. "And how exactly did this happen?"

"I had a bachelor celebration to the life of a special dog."

She was silent for long seconds. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah. Travelling to a medical centre close by so they can patch me up. Will you cover for me at the office until I get in?"

"You coming in? Seriously Johnathan, you can work at home. Call in sick!"

"Henry will have a fit! Anyway, I'll see you later." I disconnected and dialed Tammy.

She must have been sitting there with her finger resting on the little green button because I did not even hear the ring tone before she answered. Her voice being an octave higher than normal indicated her level of anxiety when she squeaked into the phone. "Johnathan! What happened to you?"

I suddenly felt like shit. She should have been the first one to know about Justin's death and I had forgotten. I decided to just beg for forgiveness and hope she took it well.

"Tammy, I am really sorry. I should have called you long ago but it slipped my mind. Please, I am really sorry. I feel like a dork."

"What happened?"

"Jack Higgins killed Justin on Tuesday night."

She was quiet. At last I heard her take a deep breath and in my mind's eye I could see her distraught face. I knew what she looked like when her heart was ripped apart. I had done it to her on more occasions than I ever want to remember. "How?" she squeaked and it was obvious that she was crying.

"I don't know Tammy," I grunted while maneuvering into a rather cramped parking. "Does it matter?"

"But why?" she asked softly and then her voice picked up. "What have they ever done to him? I never liked him but why kill Justin?" She took a noisy breath. "You must be heartbroken."

I shrugged. "I'm ok I guess. You loved him just as much."

"So what happened to your face? Don't tell me you went at Jack?"

I chuckled. "I threatened to kill him. Even told the Police so but no, he is alive as far as I can tell. Where he is I don't know. He nearly ran me over last night and ripped up Geoff's lawn trying to get away from here when I stormed his house roaring like a deranged Viking."

"Your face?"

I smiled and felt the lopsidedness of it. "I celebrated the memory of Justin's life with a steak as thick as his friendship and a wine as potent as his love." I heard her giggle.

"Your face?"

"I fell!"

"How?"

"Face first!"

There was a smiling threat in her voice. "Johnathan!"

I had to chuckle. "Something like three beers and a full bottle of wine tinkered with my sense of balance. The house caught me."

She laughed outright. "Johnathan! You almost never drink anything stronger than a fruit juice! You must have been smashed!"

"I will have you know that I behaved to the discretion of the Queen's Paige," I said in a haughty tone. "Furthermore, let it be noted that not once did I use the language of knaves or commoners to the disgrace of myself or anyone of proper breeding. And also did I not partake in the pleasures of the flesh to place shame on those who look to me for guidance."

I could hear the glee in her voice as she laughed. "You are weird."

"And that is why you still love me."

"Yes." She still laughed albeit a little reserved. God, what an awesome woman. Why did I not cherish her when I had her?

"I had Justin cremated." I said to ply some salve over a pain. "Will you come with to scatter his ashes?"

"Yes Johnathan, I will. At the beach?"

I nodded and smirked. "Yeah, the beach. He loved it there. Henceforth he can ride the waves full time."

"Let me know," she said quietly. "And Johnathan?"

"Yeah?"

"I worry about you."

I felt the pang through my chest. "Thanks Tams. Most days I'm ok."

We said our goodbyes and I walked into the centre.

Chapter 5

The reception I got when I walked into the office was quite funny. Henry had a look of surprised satisfaction plastered over his disagreeable face. The others who saw me enter either avoided eye contact or openly stared. Jenny giggled as she walked into my office while I waited for the laptop to come to life.

"Except for Henry I said nothing to anybody," she confided. "I can hear the gears turning in there. What shall I tell them?"

I shrugged. "I fell. Simple as that."

She inspected the work of the medical centre. "Not bad. Now you look like a caricature from some bad joke. Do you think it was necessary to use so much bandaging?

I winked at her. "I actually asked them to tape me up quite well. I am going to be the talk for the day anyway. The worse it looks the better the stories."

She raised her eyelids. "You look as if you had been in a bad accident. Your eye must be painful."

I nodded and smiled lopsidedly. "It hurts when I wink."

She slapped me on my shoulder and I hissed as the playful slap made perfect contact with the lacerations on my upper arm. Her eyes bulged with fright and I smiled to soften her guilt. "It is not that bad Jenny. I had more of a fright than anything."