All Comments on 'Geisha House'

I'm a pure gaijin (white American) and even I know the honorific suffix is "-san", not "-son". And the robe the couple wore after the bath would be a yukata, not a full kimono, which would have included an obi--the large, wide and very tight girdle-like sash.

Homework? I don't think so.

Bravo!

Your style in writing erotica is shining example in imagination and wit. Thank you for allowing us here on Lit to have chances to read your stories.

Keep on writing ET. We are greatly entertained if not amused by the comments about your work. You are doing something right. Keep entertaining us.

great story. I don't give many 100% but I certainly did so here. keep up the good work.

An excellent story with a well developed setting. Initially I wondered where you were going, not calling the colored fish "koi" and calling the bridge an oriental type bridge. But, then the bumbling airmen, didn't know to take off their shoes and it became clear. As sensitive as Danny tried to be with the culture, he and Joe were bumpkins who wouldn't know a kimono from a rickshaw. No, they wouldn't know what koi were, and I saw the narrarator as being from a similar background... so the description was not a problem.

As we went into the more intimate settings, after the bath, I had some difficulty as you jumped back and forth from Danny to Joe. I think perhaps you should have emphasized this jump with either an extra space between paragraphs, or dots or something. Remember, we are reading in short pieces of screen, so it is easy to get lost between paragraphs without that help.

Hey... as far as I could see, you got the apostrophes right. A proofreader is a lot of help: these nits are so hard for a writer to find. You need fresh eyes.

I think you might want to fix the son vs. san thing that Anon. so ungraciously pointed out. That is coming from the Japanese Geshia, not the narrator, so the distinction will be important. While you edit, I caught one thing you might want to fix grammatically. At the beginning of one paragraph, the line "She finally come to a spot and opened a sliding door and entered..." "come" wants to be "came" otherwise it was, the best I can tell, nit free.

I like the way you left the geshia's door open for a sequel.

I want to recommend you read "Thousand Cranes" by Yasunari Kawabata. It is a delicate and bittersweet love story with an emphasis on tea. I think you will enjoy everything about the book, given your attraction to oriental themes. It is an interesting story of a widower who, through an older geshia friend becomes aquainted to a young geshia trainee. It is far from erotic, but there is a sensuous beauty to the settings and characters. Your serving of the tea at the beginning of the story made me think of "Thousand Cranes". I truely think you will enjoy this story. PS... take a peek at my email address and you will see how much the story impressed me.

Anyway... I loved the geshia, and the bit of story you provided outside the sex. I gave us a bit of insight into the people, instead of just featuring the anatomy. Good stuff.

jim : )

The plot and characters are reminiscent of the film, "Sayonara," starring Marlon Brando.

not bad at all, really!

cheers.

This is a literotica icon. please write another like this one. The story was pleasant and the sex was hot. D~

Another hot, hot story. Keep it up! Well you know what I mean. Lol

Now I have to clean up my computer ;-]

love your story. Hope to read more geisha stories after ww2. very erotic.

Loved the story. I lived at Tachikawa 69-71.