All Comments on 'Get a Room'

Keep going. This could get really good.

Good start . A little thin in character development, but otherwise as a test not bad keep writing I would say 3 1/2 *s

A single scene taken out of context.

There was no story here. There was no conflict or anticipation and subsequent resolution. Why would we want to be any of these people (other than the fact that they were having sex)?

The good news is that were no obvious technical flaws in writing.your description.

Try again - tell me the story. Make me care. Make me want to be in your story.

For the Anon who said "Good start" thanks for the encouragement.

fill in the blanks give us the back story. I don't have a clue what I'm talking about but every one else is commenting. Lol , Really good concept just needs more. 5*

No seriously keep to reading

Rule one is ignore and delete any negative Anonymous comments. Your story was well written and I enjoyed reading it. It could have been longer but that is your choice. I liked that there was virtually no character build up but I know a lot of people need that to fully enjoy a story. I hope you add to this story or post others.

Pete

For your first story, this is pretty good. The comments can get a little nasty, but don't let that discourage you. Keep it up.

Never give up because of one negative comment

Keep it up...ignore the negative comments and get inspiration from the positive!

Thanks for the positive comments and for your encouragement.

I am not really a computer savvy, so I have to think of a story that is short enough just to test and make sure it goes through when I submit it. Now I know I can make a story a little longer in my future posts.

Thanks cutabvavg. I'm inspired for getting more positive comments.

Father/daughter sex not my thing but very well written. I especially liked the intro where you didn't understand their relationship until he told his Mom he loved her. Well done!

I'll reserve my real comments until I have the opportunity to read a longer entry. So far so good.

You keep switching from past tense to present. One minute they're dancing and then he's "balls deep" in her. You use "balls deep" twice on one short page.

" At times raising her cup to sip on her coffee." is not a sentence. "At times she raised her cup to sip...". would be a sentence.

You use periods instead of commas at the end of the dialogue. "I guess you're right(comma)" Mom said.

This is meant to be constructive criticism to help you get better. Take it or delete it.