All Comments on 'Gigi and Ginger Pt. 01'

want more please

You couldn't seem to decided whether it was you or Tommy narrating at the beginning, so the viewpoint kept switching from Tommy to 'I' to 'Me' to Tommy. An Editor would have caught that, and some of the wrong words used; at one point you used 'wreathed', when I think you meant 'writhed', and your sentence structure could do with a little tweaking, but not bad for a first effort, not bad at all.

Either one is fine...but make up your mind

Barefoot and pregnant ????

Clearly Tommy needs to bed his step mom to move this story forward.

I loved it ,I hope you write more like lot's more ......

Stephen J

i kinda liked this story but u have to keep re - reading ur story to be able to find mistakes...

Some things dont add up here, and ill give you only 1 little example, :

"The next thing Tommy knew, Gigi had thrown her leg over Ginger's head, and straddled his stomach. With one hand SHE PULLED UP HER TANK TOP, and her full breasts popped out in Tommy's face."

Just 3 paragraphs later,

"Tommy was stunned to see his baby sisters sharing his sperm. They kissed again, and then Ginger gently slid her tongue into his mouth and kissed him. Gigi PULLED HER TANK TOP OVER HER HEAD, and then Ginger did the same. "

Just how many tops this gigi has? :/

Ill rate it a 3 just cause i liked your writing overall, but for the next episode, double check ur story.

Tommy's a very lucky guy. There are lots and lots of big brothers who'd just love to give to their baby sister, good and hard, right up the cute little coochie she's got between her legs. Tommy gets to fuck not one but two of his kid sisters, and they both love the heck out of their hunky good-looking brother all the more for it. When he blows his brotherly balls up inside her, his sis is over the moon. "Oh Tommy," whispered Gigi. "I've got your baby seed inside me." Well, sure, sweetheart. Where else do you think all a brother's semen belongs? A sister's sweet little slit and her brother's big powerful prick--made for each other.

The way this thing bounced back and forth from third person to first was very distracting. Edit. A lot.

For a first timer its damn good, but I advise some editing on ur next one, a few rookie mistakes that should've been avoided