Ginny and Jon Ch. 04: Did She?

I stood naked, looking in the mirror. The dark circles had been a permanent feature around my eyes for some time now. Lots of tears shed; lots of late nights; a lifestyle that had come about from a feeling of being utterly lost.

I turned my back to the full-length mirror. The angry welts on my bum would take some time to go down; even now, they looked angry, little areas of broken skin. Aty the time I wanted the cane to cut me open, I wanted to bleed, I wanted to show him what he had caused me. Now I felt numb.

"You ok," Joanne said as she walked in, never bothered by nudity.

"I don't know," I said, looking back at her, "hopefully a bath will make me feel better."

She smiled and gave me a hug, "I won't cop a feel of your ass, it looks like a fucking damaged tomato," she said, smiling and pulling away from me.

I climbed into the bath, the water warm, moderately soothing, though a moment of stinging to remind me of my wounds. I lay back, the tub long enough to do that in, mainly thanks to my five-foot height.

I looked up at the ceiling, the fluorescent stickers that Joanne had put up there glimmering a little in the dimly lit room. I closed my eyes, relaxing a little, picturing Jon sat there, waiting for me, giving me a little.

"Do you still think he's the one?" Joanne asked. I heard her put the toilet seat down, then the creaking of the plastic as she sat on it.

For a moment I let the question hang, filling the air, I breathed, then opened my eyes.

"We were only dating for a month," I said, "in that month, we just spent time together mostly, but in that time, I felt closer to him than I had anyone else."

"You then went on your naughty holiday," Joanne said, giggling like a schoolgirl.

"I was so excited about that, I had pictures in my head of intimacy and magic."

"As well as adventure."

"I guess," I said, sitting up, the sound of water moving about momentarily filling the room, "you told me about what you two had gotten up to all those years ago, and that stuff I was ready to try. I had no idea what it would be, but it didn't phase me in my head. It was the feeling of rejection afterward, that aloneness I struggled to deal with that."

Joanne moved towards the side of the bath, she knelt, locking her eyes on mine. She reached out and gently strokes my cheek, I felt her thumb stroke the tear that had formed in the corner of my eye.

"You've always been strong, Ginny. As long as I have known you, you've been a pillar of strength. Then along comes this guy, and you are broken. All that strength has gone, and instead, this lost girl is wandering around. What is it you're looking for?"

I lent into her hand, eyes looking back at her. "There was a feeling I had when I was in the moment; that was so magical. I don't know what it was, I just know it felt great. I thought it was letting myself be spanked, be told what to do, giving in to someone just like that."

Joanne looked at me, listening, a look of love and protection on her face. She had always been like a big sister to me. At times she too had seemed lost, but she was my protector.

"I have not felt that feeling again, despite the spankings, the submission, the letting myself be. It's all just made me feel more empty."

Joanne stood up, smiling down at me. "I'll start on dinner, you get yourself relaxed, tonight we eat, drink wine, and say fuck off to all men."

I bit my lower lip smiling as I lay down in the bath once more, feeling safe and warm.

****************

I stood by the tree and looked over at Jon and Joanne as they sat on the bench. After two days, he was still sat there. Joanne had taken him food and water each day. She sat and talked to him for a while. He was already starting to look like a homeless person, his hair scruffy, his eyes tired. Joanne said the smell wasn't pleasant, either.

I watched her stand up, give him a handshake, and start to walk back towards me.

"I'm not sure how much longer he can hold out," she said as she got up to me, "he seems happy enough, it's obvious he believes you will come."

"Not yet," I said, "I'm still not there."

We walked along the Thames, the air bitingly cold. I pulled my coat closer to me, leaning my chin into my scarf. The sky was gray, the trees stripped bare, no signs of life in them. Occasionally jogger went past, their breath visible as they exhaled, steam filling the air. Only the heartiest of buskers plied their trade, the weather scaring off most. It was the heartier eastern Europeans playing their mournful songs on piano accordions and violins. You ahd to give them a little change just for their effort.

****************

Four days had passed. The weather was even more biting now, snow was forecast for the weekend.

I sat beside him, there was silence. There had been silence for what seemed like an eternity, but in truth, it was probably only ten minutes.

"I wasn't sure you'd stay the distance," I said.

"I believed you'd come," Jon said, his voice tired, his coughing chesty.

"You sound like you've spent the last few days smoking," I said, smiling as I turned to face him.

"If I had a lighter, the last thing I'd be doing with it is setting a cigarette alight, I'd be burning this fucking bench to stay warm."

"I cried the whole trip home, I felt lost, I felt alone," I said, once again looking out across the river.

"I'm sorry," Jon said, sincerity in his voice.

"I searched for what we had, I wanted to feel it again, what you made me feel. What I felt when I was walking naked around your car, what I felt when you chastised me for feeling pleasure without you. It took me a long time to figure out what it was I felt."

"And that led you to get naked at clubs and being spanked by all comers?"

"Are you fucking judging me?" I responded, a hint of anger in my voice, "do you fucking dare to judge me. You fucking broke my heart, you left me with this fucking question that I wanted to answer, and I needed to answer it, it was fucking eating away at me you cunt."

Jon looked back at me, shocked. His eyes sad; he saw the hurt again. I thought about walking away again, about just leaving it, letting him live with what had been done. But when I looked at him, I realized he wasn't in that same state of mind anymore.

"It's cold, come on you stupid prick," I said standing, offering him my gloved hand, I smiled warmly at him. He took my hand and slowly raised from the bench, letting out some groans as he did.

"My grandad makes less noise than that when he stands, and he has arthritis and is 80."

"You're still the same Ginny then."

We walked away from the bench, my fingers intertwined with his.

"I know what that means now," Jon said, looking at me suggestively.

"It means I'm fucking cold," I responded.

****************

"Get those clothes off, they stink," I said as we stood in the lounge room of my small flat.

He slowly undressed, I could see the pain on his face. The cold had sunk into his bones.

"Oh, for God's sake," I said, theatrically walking over to him. As I helped him undress, it occurred to me, this was the first time he had let me do anything for him. My heart started to beat a little quicker.

"Christ your ribs," I said, looking at the range of colors that covered his kin around his rib cage.

"It's alright," Jon said, looking at them, "it's nothing."

I shook my head, walking away, muttering "men" to myself.

When I returned carrying a warm gel medical pack, he stood naked. His body was still sculpted, just battered a bit. His eye was now a few different colors to match his ribs. I held the warm gel pack to his side, he winced at first, but then reached and placed his hand on mine.

"Only if you want to tell me," Jon said, his hand on mine, "My brother has never struck me as the type to just let someone walk away from him once he has them snared. What happened?"

"I could let you suffer," I said, "but in reality, I don't think that's worth the effort."

Jon smiled at me.

"In the taxi, I burst into tears. Having seen that look on your face, love. It just confused me more, it just made me want to punch you, to hurt you. I wanted to make you watch me as I did everything with him."

Jon continued to listen, his hand wrapped around mine, comforting, trusting.

"Then Chris told me he was your brother. He placed an arm around me and told me that fucking him would hurt you, would destroy you, but that wasn't my character. He told me I didn't have that in me."

I placed my head on Jon's arm, it felt comforting to be getting closer to him.

"When we got to his place, he told me to go home. He said that I loved you, and you loved me. He thought it was fucking pathetic, but he knew some people just had that in them."

I heard Jon let out a laugh.

"He then slipped the taxi driver enough money to buy a taxi and told him to make sure I got home safe."

"I think I might have ruptured one of his testicles," Jon said, looking at me, smiling cheekily.

I laughed, "no, he's fine, he just had to let his lady friend ice down his sack for the night."

I took Jon's hand and led him to my bathroom. I ran a bath, checking eth water was warm. He stood and watched.

"I don't often take a bath," he said, "I've always been a shower person."

"I took one earlier this week for the first time in a long time," I said, "I mean, really, who doesn't appreciate a good bath."

"Are you not worried that too much of a good thing could spoil your love."

"Never," I said, walking past him, my hand rubbing across his chest as I passed.

When the bath had the right amount of water, I helped him in, as he sat down, his eyes rolled back.

"Oh yeah," he said, grinning like an idiot, "that does feel good."

I smiled and turned to leave him.

"Wait," he said, "I need someone to do my back; I'm old and not that flexible."

I turned back and laughed, "oh, I see."

"It's a pretty big bath," Jon said, his eyes lighting up a little now.

"The steam is making you light-headed, you fool."

He folded his arms on the side of the bath, resting his head on them, looking at me, playfully making his lip quiver.

I slowly unbuttoned the blue blouse I wore, smiling back at him. I slid it down my arms and tossed it aside. As I undid my bra for him, there was no nervousness, just a feeling of pleasure. By the time I stood naked in front of him, my heart was humming along at a leisurely pace, and I was completely relaxed.

"We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy," Jon said as he looked at my ribs.

"I didn't really understand it until recently," I said, "but you said it to me on our first date."

"I never understood the second part, until I was sat there on that bench waiting for you."

I smiled and walked over to the bath. I was about to climb in front of him when he shook his head.

"I said my back needs doing."

"Oh, I see," I said sarcastically, smiling as I slid in behind him. I wrapped my arms and legs around him as he lay back against me.

My hands explored his hard chest as he lay there, making content sounds. I pressed my puckered lips to his neck, kissing him, I felt the back of his hand slowly slide up my inner thigh. My breathing started to increase, my lust building, and I had a revelation.

****************

Lying on the bed in his arms felt secure. He had let me in, he had shown his trust in me, his faith. And I had realized what I had been looking for.

"I did those things for you out of love," I said to Jon, "when I did them for others, it was just submission, it never felt right."

"Submission is about trust and love," he replied, "when you give in to someone you love, it feels magical. When you do that with someone, you are not in love with, it's just a little bit of fun."

"Sex is the same," I said, "when it is with someone you love and trust, it is amazing; otherwise, it's just a quick and dirty fuck."

"I have something to tell you," Jon said, running his fingers down my arm, which lay draped across his chest.

"No, you don't," I replied, "Joanne has an inability to keep her mouth shut."

Jon looked at me, and I smiled back at him. Slowly I kissed across his chest, moving my body over his, my chest rubbing against his torso. I took one of his nipples in my mouth and flicked my tongue across it, my eyes locked on his.

"I see," Jon said, letting out a little moan.

I continued to explore his chest with my lips, undertaking a grand tour. Occasionally a little flick of my tongue, I moved up to his neck, nibbling, kissing, sucking. All of this was supported by the sounds of soft, contented moans coming from the man who lay beneath me.

"Well, Sir," I whispered in his ear, "do I need permission to feel pleasure tonight?"

I felt Jon's fingertips glide down my spine, both his hands on my butt.

"Shut up and take me," he whispered back into my ear.

I sat up, straddling his hips. I felt his now rock hard manhood pressing against my moist and ready vagina.

"Oh well," I said, "harder than when I walked around your driveway naked, and probably as hard as when you had me passing out from orgasms in your arms."

Jon looked back.

"When you trust someone, you are capable of feeling great joy."

With those words, I helped Jon slide deep inside me. We both moaned in unison, my body turning almost the same shade of red as his. I slowly lifted my self up and down, gliding, riding, feeling the man inside of me, throbbing. I looked down at him, his eyes locked on me, glazed, pleasure on his face. He reached up, stroking a thumb across my hard nipples, cupping my breasts in his hands, he used the lightest touch to coax me to lean down until my lips were millimeters from his.

My hands stroked his face as I looked deep into his eyes. "Hello there," I said.

"Hi," he said, smiling, rolling me onto my back, never leaving my body. I wrapped my legs around him, feeling more of him enter me. He was now in control as I trembled, locking my lips on his neck, biting a little, eliciting a groan as he increased his thrusts.

Our chests pressed together, our hearts beating close, our breathing aligned, in unison. I felt the bubbling light tickle, followed by the spasms. Almost as one, we orgasmed, our moans and groans of delight filling the room.

****************

"I'll not to be too long, two hours maximum," Jon said as he packed the last of his things.

I looked around the bedroom. We'd just moved into the new apartment in Chelsea, and it was stunning. Nothing too big, just right for the two of us to enjoy time together. We left the kids back in the house in Cornwall. Their Uncle Chris had moved out, so we had been able to make it more of a family home.

"I'll call you in an hour or so to check-in, and make sure you are ok."

He lent down and gave me a kiss on the cheek, then walked to the door. "Be good," he said as he left.

I sat there, I had no choice. Naked and tied to the chair as I was, my legs tied open to hooks behind me, so my vagina was on full display. Inside there, a vibrating egg and a long thin standard vibrator. A vibrating butt plug inside me as well. All turned on to a low teasing setting. The big ball gag in my mouth prevented any sound from escaping me.

I loved our weekend journeys.