All Comments on 'Girl Meets Boy'

Sooo good oh my god please continue to write more! Wave after wave of orgasms and completely in love with both characters x

Learn the proper accepted slang for various things. Its "cum" for semen/orgasm/etc. sexual NOT "come" thus the author fails to understand or know the common slang for this kind of story.

Pulling out is for wankers which you are one

looking forward to more. Please keep going...

Very well written and hot. Keep this story going please! I want to know more...

Hurry up and write a sequel to this. It was excellent! Please ensure there is plenty of sex in the next one.

Julie

FORGET THAT COMMENT!!!!

For once, a writer on this site that doesn't butcher the English language. THANK YOU

I'm guessing she isn't on birth control since her dad is so strict. There is no mention of a condom being used so I hope she doesn't get pregnant.

It's so pleasant to read something in decent English even though it's an erotic story.Slang is one thing but in many stories even the basics of the language are ignored. Thank you for that tale although I don't like the boy's irresponsibility.

Interesting little tale which moves along quickly. Please ignore the readers who ask for gutter slang. Keep it real! Each couple creates their own language and terms for sexual play, orgasm, fluids etc.... The final three paragraphs brought the story to a very quick end... hmmmm maybe some more detail on landing ?

Your writing style is sloppy. I recommend getting an editor, because it'll help the story flow better if you use proper grammar. I honestly skipped most of the story, due to the lack of punctuation and the likes.

Good first effort. Stories do not need to be super long to be fun to read. If you do find an editor, it may get even better. Please write more.

Quick read, to the point and without trashy language so many other use. Please continue to write!

Except for the long paragraph i think it flowed smoothly. Waiting for the next chapter.

Thank you for posting this cute little erotic story. I agree with several comments that since you are writing "quality" erotica, you should use the right English language and proper name for the erotic action taking place. Your stories have more class when you use appropriate English grammar rules (if English is your native language). Also, foreign readers will enjoy your work more if you use the proper names for body parts (i.e. a penis or vulva for cock/dick/... or pussy/cunt/etc...). Besides, slang use is regional (i.e. slang words in the US are not necessarily the same in the UK) and your creations are more likely to have wide world appeal by being properly written.

Finally, by being sensitive and "real", your erotica stories will have more appeal to feminine as well as masculine readers. For example, 8 to 12 inches penises are not that common except in the imagination of a few guys - it sure does not fool many women. Your stories have more acceptance by "common and normal" couples (like my wife and I).

Thank you for taking the time for writing this short story - keep it up (no pun intended), you have talent!

Ciao, L