All Comments on 'Girl Watching'

How many commas can you use it one story????

You could use a little proof reading to get some of the punctuation right... but other than that it was a HOT story... I loved the story line and think you put a good amount of effort into your work... Please keep writing as you have a lot of potential... little things like punctuation can be edited and fixed... but you show a lot of promise and potential that most of the other authors here just don't have...

I loved the story..but the terribly inappropriate and excessive use of commas ruined it for me.

Use a comma only when you'd pause in normal conversation.