All Comments on 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun'

If you made it this far, I do hope you enjoyed the story. All authors welcome your comments and votes, good or bad, but hopefully good. I'll leave it to you to decide what happens next. Maybe you can add it as a comment.

Great story till you introduce Danny. Kind of took “creeper” road. Hopefully you can fix it in chapter 2, if you have one in mind.

Well, I enjoyed some of the descriptions, however, I just didn't feel invested in the characters. For me, the story lacks momentum, perhaps since the characters are one-dimensional. The only inciting incident is introduced with Danny, but that occurred quite late in the story and then didn't seem to go anywhere. That might have been an opportunity for creating tension between the protagonists -- for example, one of them willing to push the envelope of exhibitionism, while the other more reluctant -- something. Contrary to the previous comment, it might be something to explore as a means of giving the characters more depth and allowing us to know them more.

The word ‘snatch,’ at least in the US, is used by men and not so much by women, if at all. Although this was told from a third person perspective, the story was all about women and I think other terms would have been better. If ‘snatch’ is used by women in the UK, I retract my comment. I agree that introducing Danny put a completely different spin on things. 4*

News from the UK: "snatch" is a horrible porny word. IMO

I can see the choice of a word divides opinion. You know what it is like. I read the story back then think to myself whether I have used pussy or sex too many times, maybe lips or even labia (but the latter is a bit clinical I think). So I mix it up without any intention to be porno and maybe I shouldn't have done. I'll think on next time, I hope it didn't detract too much.

Drunk Fun...No, more like taking advantage of someone while drunk.