Give Me a Reason Pt. 04

Rodney had started hanging out with a group of bikes by then, the Lost Spirits. He'd always liked riding motorbikes, ever since he bought his first one about a year after we got married. I remember the day I dropped Anna off at the house he shared with two other guys and seeing patched members on the front lawn. Like most Melburnians, I regarded outlaw bikie groups with suspicion but he was able to reassure me that they were just mates.

Speaking of that I need to go upstairs to Penny's home office. Elke has arrived and they need to talk to me about something.

***

Okay, I'm back. We've had morning tea and Anna is watching TV. Elke told me that Rodney will be at a committal hearing tomorrow morning to face charges of attempted murder, possession of a firearm, driving a stolen car and possession of a trafficable amount of crystal meth. The D.P.P will be pushing for the maximum possible sentence, ten years in jail. My only question was about our move to Denmark, I've heard of cases where career criminals have managed to stop their exes from moving interstate, let alone go overseas. I knew Penny had applied to reverse the access order but she's not sure it'll hold up in court.

"There's that possibility that he'll contest but he can't use legal aid, so unless he has access to some extra cash then he'll be struggling to pay his legal fees and most lawyers won't guarantee a win in any case," Penny smirked.

"I said most lawyers but the more mercenary ones might make wild promises, although the fact that he's associated with a bikie gang might cause some of them to back away but in the event that he is able to keep access I've got a plan for that."

"Which is?"

Penny shifted in her seat and leaned on her elbows.

"I'd suggest a yearly visit for two weeks, you can decide when you come back. In that time he can have two supervised visits, he's most likely to be at Barwon. You can also have monthly calls to the prison via an app, so I'm told but that's dependant on good behaviour."

"Yeah, if he doesn't get into any fights and generally behaves himself then they may allow him to call his daughter," Elke broke in, "but at the moment he's cooperating with us, which doesn't bode well for him, the other club members will be out to punish him."

"I almost feel sorry for him," I replied.

"Don't," Elke shrugged, "just think of three inches."

"Three inches?"

"If he'd aimed three inches to the right then the man he was trying to scare would've been hit. The family are still undergoing counselling and we've had to give the family a completely new identity and move them interstate."

"I didn't know it was so close."

"It gets even worse one bullet lodged itself in the wall frame instead of going through two layers of plasterboard and into his daughter's bedroom. His daughter had just gone through to see her mother about a minute earlier."

"What about the firearms charges?" Penny asked.

"He used an assault rifle but he also had a semi automatic pistol so he's up on serious charges, the second gun was reported stolen a few months ago."

"I'm not sure I want her to be associated with him."

"Understandable but don't worry about that for now, I'm the lawyer and I've handled bigger fish in the past but I'm not going to promise that the access arrangements can be reversed."

"What if he gets released early?"

"The earliest he can be released is in eight years time, assuming he doesn't fuck up," Elke replied, "the DPP are going for the maximum ten to fifteen."

All food for thought but I'm thinking about the trip to Denmark. The last time I'd been out of the country was for my honeymoon to Fiji although I had been on internal flights before, we'd all been on a family holiday to the Gold Coast about three years previously.

Mum and Hannah took us to the airport and I remember checking that I had our passports on more than one occasion, along with our tickets. I'm fine with flying but find the actual border control and ticket thing a bit nerve-racking but Anna didn't pick up on my anxiety. She was too excited to even notice. There was a sense of déjà vu when mum and Hannah said goodbye at the airport but that was understandable under the circumstances. Anna was goggle-eyed in duty free, she kept touching things on sale and I had one eye on her and the other on the departure board and when our flight to Copenhagen appeared it was time to head to the gate.

The flight to Copenhagen was twenty six hours, which included the four hour layover at Doha and Anna was a little nervous at the sight of police with machine guns. Our police are always armed but they have pistols, not machine guns! I kept her distracted with food and games on her phone and we finally boarded the flight to Denmark for a seven hour flight to Kastrup airport. Anna and I changed seats halfway through so as she could peer out the window. I could still look outside at the changing landscape, I couldn't recognise a thing but was able to ascertain where we were by the maps on the screens in front of us. I was a little overawed but European history has always interested me. One of my minor obsessions during the first months of lockdown was history and in particular European history, YouTube was frequently on when I wasn't working.

We landed at six o'clock in the morning and there's a marked difference between border control at Melbourne and Copenhagen, they seemed more efficient and polite. Nevertheless, it took awhile to collect our suitcases and then we were heading for the exit.

My heart was in my mouth, I'd seen her on camera many times in the preceding months but it was different to seeing her face to face, she'd said that she would be there to meet me but as I came out of the doors all I could see were people holding Danish flags. I finally spotted a New Zealand flag at the far end, held by a woman I'd burned a candle to for years.

"Astrid," I came to a halt in front of her.

"Hi," she grinned, "you're finally here."

"It was twenty six hours and fifty five minutes," Anna solemnly announced.

"And you're Anna," Astrid leaned over to shake her hand, "welcome to Denmark, I'm sorry it's not the right flag, they were out of Australian flags."

"It's close enough," I gave her a hug, "it's so good to see you again."

"Likewise," she rubbed my bag.

"Come on," she released me, "let's get some tickets."

"What do we need tickets for?" Anna asked.

"The train to the city."

"You can get a train to the city?" Anna stared at her.

"Of course, you can get a train to Sweden from here too," she started walking.

"I've taken a weeks holiday next week," she told me, "so you'll get a guided tour of the city, free of charge I might add."

"Cool," I managed, "especially the free part."

Instead of taking us to the ticket machines though Astrid led us to a different part of the airport to purchase a Copenhagen card that gave us free transport throughout Copenhagen and beyond along with free entry to museums and places like Tivoli Gardens. After that we took a fifteen minute train ride to Copenhagen Central station and another short train ride to Valby where her cargo bike had been left. Anna thought it was the coolest form of transport she'd ever seen.

We walked for seven minutes to her flat on Bykildevej, not far from Søndermarken, a park near the city zoo and Frederiksberg castle. She led us up to her flat on the top floor, everything seemed to be so cosy and neat, a necessary feature in this part of the world. She had two bedrooms, the larger one was hers, the smaller one had a bunk bed.

"Anna can sleep here, you can both sleep here if you want or you can use the sofa bed in the living room," she glanced over her shoulder.

"Whatever," I nudged my glasses, "are you tired sweetie?"

"No," Anna touched her glasses as well, "I'm wide awake."

Astrid had to work from home that day and so we walked through the part to the zoo, the city pass gave us free entry to the zoo as well as Cisternerne, an old fresh water reservoir for the city located beneath Søndermarken Hill. Søndermarken is a big park located west of the city centre the entrance is just opposite Frederiksberg Slot, an impressive old building which was closed on the day and so we headed down into Cisternerne. It's an odd place that looks as if it's about to collapse due to the rainwater seeping through the concrete roof. It's also quite cold and damp.

We eventually headed up to the park itself and walked around for a bit, stopping for a bite to eat at Bjælkehuset a rustic old café at the southern end of the park. By then Anna was looking a little tired even though she insisted that she was still wide awake. However, when we made our way back to Astrid's place she just handed me her phone and went straight to bed. It was the first time in months she'd gone to bed without any prompting from me, leaving Astrid and I alone together for the first time in years.

I was feeling a little weary myself but not as tired as Anna and besides, Astrid had finished work for the day and came through with some coffee and cinnamon buns.

"She's gone straight to bed," I glanced at Anna's phone, "where do I charge her phone up?"

"Give me the phones," she set the tray down, "I've got just the thing."

Her solution was a plug with USB ports and once our phones were plugged in she sat opposite me and studied me for a few moments.

"So, we're finally alone after all these years."

"Yeah," I glanced at the phones, "finally."

"Where did you go?"

"The zoo and some underground cavern

"Cisternerne, it's the old water reservoir but it's an art gallery now. They commission an artist to create an exhibition every year down there."

"Ah that explains the odd creation we saw down there."

"Some of it is weird," she chuckled.

"Then we walked around the park to some café and had a bite to eat."

"I've been there a few times. Ilse used to love it there but ever since we broke up I've avoided the place because it brings back too many memories."

"Understandable although it's just a place but I'm the same about Jells Park. Rodney used to love it there too."

"I can't remember ever going there," she replied.

"It's in Waverley," I sipped my coffee, "I don't recall going there until after you left. It was where he proposed to me, we had a barbie and the sneaky bastard had the ring tied around the neck of a champagne bottle."

"That's romantic."

"At the time it was although in hindsight it was part of his exhibitionist nature."

"And now? Where are you with him?"

"He's living with a mate and he has a girlfriend so there's no chance of renewing our vows."

"You and me both," she replied a few moments later.

Little more was said while we consumed a cinnamon bun but then she eyed the window and let her breath out slowly.

"You know, I've been going over this moment for years. What would I say if you and I were in the same room but now that it's here I'm lost for words."

"There's been a lot of water under the bridge since then and to be honest it was my fault. I should have saved up my money and flown over but I didn't and if we go back over our lives there's a lot of things we could have done better or worse," I finished.

"Anna's a good kid, she's bigger than I thought but I've only seen her on zoom calls when she was asking you something."

"She's getting bigger all the time. It's hard to believe my little girl will be in high school soon, she's been the one good thing to come out of my time with Rodney."

"I regret not having children," she frowned, "Ilse and I talked about now and then but she was more keen than me but in hindsight it's probably a good thing. I can't imagine custody battles over a child we adopted. With Ilse it was a fantasy she harboured but like a lot of things fantasy was better than the reality for her. She lived with her head in the clouds, I was the practical one."

We talked more about our ex partners, skirting nimbly around our past together until finally I had to retire for a couple of hours.

"I need to nod off for a couple of hours."

"Take my bed if you want or the second bunk bed in Anna's room."

I rose and she shifted in her seat, "but before you do go to bed, I need to ask you something."

"What?" I nudged my glasses.

"My dad and mum are coming over for dinner later on, they know we were involved years ago but I wasn't sure if Anna knows because if she doesn't then I'll let my parents know just in case they say something over dinner."

"Oh," I looked out the window, "um my family knows but Anna doesn't know yet. I haven't told her yet because I um," I trailed away.

"Don't know how to tell her? It's fine, I just wanted to check first, now go and lie down."

I left the room and headed into Anna's room feeling a bit strange that I'd meet her parents for the first time. What else did they know about me? I was tempted to take the first option but it seemed too bold and so I clambered into the bottom bunk and promptly fell asleep.

When I woke up it was still light and Anna wasn't in the top bed. I found her sitting on the couch with an older man and woman on the couch as she showed them the pictures on her phone.

"And this is my school," Anna was saying.

"Hey," Astrid glanced up as I reached the couch, "hey, did you sleep all right?"

"It took the edge off it but I'm still a bit dopey."

"Jet lag," she grinned, "are you hungry?"

"Famished."

"Cool, oh this is my mum, Ida and my dad, Magnus, and this is Susan."

"So nice to meet you," Ida rose and greeted me with a kiss on the cheek, "you're much prettier than your picture," she smiled.

I didn't know how to respond to that as I shook Magnus's hand. They both looked as if they were in their fifties but I found out later it was closer to sixty five.

"They brought around a couple of bikes for you and Anna," Astrid broke in, "they're downstairs in the basement bike park."

"Thank you, you didn't have to do that."

"It's nothing," Ida replied, "you were such a good friend to Astrid in Melbourne."

"Okay," Astrid smirked, "how's about mum and I cook and the rest of you can sit down and relax, I've taken tomorrow off, I swapped a day with a colleague so it gives us an extra day together, so why don't you pick out somewhere to go tomorrow?"

"Any preference?"

"Nope, not particularly. I've seen it all before more than once so you and Anna pick where you want to go and I'll tag along."

"I want to go to Hamlet's castle," Anna pointed to it.

"How did you know about Hamlet,?" I sat down next to her.

"We were discussing it while you were sleeping," Astrid moved away from the couch, "it's half an hour by train, there's a museum too, the Maritime museum."

It was a pleasant night although a little bizarre at first to finally meet her parents. I kept expecting one of them to mention the fact we'd been involved but Astrid was as good as her word and by the end of the night I had begun to look upon them more fondly. It was obvious that after years of being together they'd become almost one person. You could see them playing off each other, finishing each other's sentences almost instinctively. They live about five minutes walk from Astrid and we went down to see the bikes when they left.

"That one used to be mine," she pointed to a smaller one, "they kept it when my brother's kids were using it, I thought she would've given it away or sold it but she kept it for sentimental reasons."

"Good thing she did," I watched as Anna got on it, "it's the right size for her."

And now I have to leave it here and attend to something.

***

Okay I'm back. We had a late lunch and my little girl asked me a rather pointed question as we sat on the balcony outside. The others had gone inside and she was playing with her phone but it took me by surprise because I hadn't thought she was that mature.

"If you and Astrid break up. What happens to me?"

It took me totally by surprise and of course I said she'd be with me.

"But could I still see Astrid?"

Now there's a twist I hadn't expected. For a child she has a surprising logic for all her simplicity, I once again said of course and that leads me to the next part of the tale. Our trip to Helsingør and the castle because that's where things started happening.

Helsingør is located on the northern coastline of Zealand and on a clear day you can see Sweden, a regular ferry service connects Helsingør with Helsingborg in Sweden. It's a cosy little town that in some ways reminds me of coastal suburbs on the Mornington Peninsula in Melbourne, putting aside the historical timeline of course! That's one obvious difference between Australia and Europe, their history is very much visible in buildings, streets and museums. Ours is limited to the 1790s when the First Fleet docked in Sydney cove. There's been a big push to include Aboriginal history in the last few years but many Australians find it hard to forge a connection between rock paintings and a past they can claim as their own.

In a sense even the Australians who can trace their family tree to the First Fleet are descended from immigrants. That two hundred and thirty four years is a drop in the ocean compared to the tens of thousand of years of continual Aboriginal settlement. A greater proportion of Aussies trace their family trees back to other parts of the world many from Europe to be honest. Our family were from Sussex, the Western Isles, County Cork and other places, according to mum. It was one of the things she did after dad died during lockdown. One of the more surprising finds was an ancestor who came from Helsingør, my great grandmother on mum's side. Agneta Jensen was a nanny for a rich family and married an Irish boy, Sean Murphy. I related that to Astrid on the train journey to Helsingør and she thought it interesting.

"There was a lot of immigration back then, Jensen is a common name but we could try and trace the family if you like."

"Maybe, just not today," I glanced over at Anna who had her face glued to the window, she sensed I was looking at her and turned to give me a smile.

Kronborg castle is located just out of town. Hamlet didn't exist but Shakespeare had used the castle as the location of Hamburg's castle. Despite that rather dubious connection, the Danes have adopted Shakespeare's mad scribblings into the history of Kronborg and they stage a Hamlet play every year with guest actors from Denmark and overseas. We saw a picture of a very young Michael Caine in one of the rooms. Shakespeare aside though, it has a rich and somewhat colourful history it was one of the toll forts in tandem with Helsingborg on the other side, which was Danish once. All ships had to declare the value of their cargo before passing through the Øresund Strait, one of only two straits with access to the North and Baltic Seas.

We traipsed around the upper levels of the castle for a couple of hours before she led me down into the catacombs, which felt a little like the place we'd been yesterday but not so damp. We were soon standing in front of a statue of a bearded warrior seemingly in silent meditation with his sword and shield.

"Holger the Dane," Astrid gestured, "he comes from Arthurian legend. He saved France and then came here and fell asleep," she stepped forward.

"They say he'll wake up when his country is in danger and lead us to victory although he wasn't awake when the Germans marched into Denmark but it's a nice story," she glanced at me, "to think that someone is waiting for you."

"Mum, can you and Auntie Astrid stand in front of the statue?" Anna tugged my sleeve.

"Okay," I shrugged.

We arranged ourselves in front of the statue but Anna wasn't satisfied. She frowned and gestured yet again.

"Closer, put your arms around each other."

Astrid glanced at me and then her before moving forward. Anna raised her phone and took three pictures in quick succession, probably because she was cold or nervous, or both. I then had to give her my phone so she could repeat the process. When I asked her why a few minutes later she just shrugged.