Goblins and Their Mounts

Dwarves are much stronger than both humans and elves, but their heavy builds and their stocky legs make them slow runners. Goblins tend to use them as pack animals rather than mounts. Two dwarven women can easily pull a cart that would give four human women or six elven women trouble.

Dwarves tend to live in caves and in mountain fortresses. They have no mounts of their own, as they are too short to ride horses and too heavy to ride ponies. Goblins who manage to capture dwarven women and bring them up to the surface are therefore quite safe from retribution. A dwarven rescue party would never be able to catch up with a band of goblins in the woods. In addition, any humans or elves that the goblins may run into are unlikely to risk their lives to rescue dwarven women, though some entrepreneurial and foolhardy spirits may be tempted by the possibility of a reward. Dwarves are rich in jewels and metals, and are known for their honor and their fairness. Some heroes have managed to rescue dwarven captives and return them to their hold in the mountains and have been showered with riches.

Dwarves are miners and craftsmen. They care little for war or expansion. Metals and stones that have great value in human lands are commonplace among dwarves. If the dwarves wished, they could bankrupt every human bank on the continent by flooding the market with gold. If that happened, humans would have to return to a barter economy or start using wheat as currency.

Goblins are magpies. They love shiny objects, especially those that are magical in nature. Dwarves carve runes into the items they craft that provide them with mystical properties. Sometimes their digging uncovers buried secrets from ancient civilization that they lock away in their treasure chambers. The goblins want all of this. If the Dwarven holds hadn't been so well defended, the goblin bands would have united to plunder them long ago.

Dwarven holds sometimes experience political coups. When this happens, the former ruling family may be sent away in exile. As many of the men will have fallen in battle, the exiles will mostly be women. These will have a hard time making it in human lands. Most end up in brothels, where their large breasts and wide hips make them extremely popular. Some manage to make it as craftsmen. A few become laborers and mercenaries. A dwarven woman with a warhammer could easily crush a knight inside his armor, but even so, few humans want to hire female mercenaries.

Dwarven women away from their hold in small numbers are tempting and easy pray for goblins. When one has been sighted, they will quickly rally to capture her.

Halflings - The Cutest Tomboys

Halfling women are useless as mounts, as they are nearly as short as the goblins themselves, and their delicate bodies could not carry a goblin very far.

As with elves, goblins see halflings as people, rather than mares. In fact, halflings and goblins sometimes get along rather well. It is not unheard of for goblins and halflings to become lovers. A few halfling women, though no men, have joined up with goblin bands and become riders of humans themselves. However, goblins are evil creatures and may just as easily sack a halfling village as trade with them. If they do, they will often ravish their women and may even take them as slaves, though not to ride them.

Halfling women have petite bodies and are often boyish in appearance. Their breasts are small and firm and their hips are narrow. They are rarely truly beautiful, but they tend to have an endearing cuteness to them. Their most prominent feature are their large, clear eyes.

Halflings tend to be farmers. They value the simple life. However, a few strike out on adventure. Those that do are not dissimilar from goblins in that they have to rely on their wits. Halflings also tend to share the goblins' obsessions with magical artifacts, as they have little magical proclivity of their own.

Halflings and goblins both love the pipe, though goblins tend to prefer weed with a little more potency than what halflings usually smoke. More than one halfling maid have taken some puffs from a goblin's pipe, only to wake up stripped, bound and gagged inside a rolling cart, pulled by a pair of naked dwarven women with jiggly asses.

It has often been suggested that goblins have an inferiority complex. This explains both why they love to subdue women from taller races and why they are noticeably less aggressive towards halflings. Sacking a peaceful halfling village or capturing a tiny halfling girl does not give the same sense of accomplishment as taking down a mighty Amazon warrior.

Halflings also have few treasures for the goblins to steal. All they have is wheat, vegetables, herbs and other produce. And while their women may be pretty, their uselessness as mounts and their lack of curves offer little temptation. The thing most worth stealing for goblins are their weed, but it is almost always easier to trade for it.

Halfling villages are noted among philosophers to be one of the few places where men and women live in somewhat harmonious equality. Women and men tend to perform the same tasks. There have few soldiers and hunters. Most work on the fields and with the livestock. Halflings are less concerned with modesty and propriety than other races. In the summertime, you will see men and women skinny dipping together. Boys and girls engage in premarital dalliances and tend to marry their sweethearts, rather than have their parents pick someone for them.

Halflings can be mistrusting, though not unfriendly towards people of other races. They idealise elves and often get along with goblins. Gypsy women are welcome, though other humans are treated with some suspicion. Villages tend to be in secluded places that are hard to discover. The reason is that halflings fear the violence and barbarity of other races. They have no armies to defend themselves, and even if they took up arms, their small stature make them poor warriors.

Orcs - Difficult to Tame and Groom

Some very few goblins ride orcish women. Most orcs are hybrids between orcs and humans. Orcish women therefore vary greatly in size and temperament, from almost feral purebloods to brutish neanderthals and near-human barbarians.

Orcs are physically superior to most other races. This makes them excellent mounts and beasts of burden. The problem is that their great strength make them difficult to handle and they can be hard to tame. Captured orcs will often throw off their riders and crush them under their feet. However, an orcish woman who is sufficiently whipped, fed and gets enough regular exercise can become a loyal mount in time.

The biggest drawback with orcs is that they aren't all that appealing to look at. They have more muscles than most human men. Some have tusks. The hair on their legs, cunts and in their armpits are thick and strong. However, there are in fact some—both men and goblins—who appreciate the combination of long limbs, thick thighs and large, firm breasts. Some rare orcs are of good stock and can be quite beautiful if their orcish blood is sufficiently diluted. Legends tell of orcs who were daughters of elves or human princesses, and these were supposedly almost as beautiful as their mothers.

It is not clear why goblins are usually so repulsed by most orcish women, as goblins are filthy, ugly creatures themselves. All that is known is that goblins appreciate beautiful women just as much as they appreciate beautiful trinkets and shiny stones.

Changelings - Mischievous, Horny Urchins with a Dark and Mysterious Parentage

Changelings are daughters of dark creatures. As babies, they were swapped for a human child. The parents who raise them usually have no idea of their infernal origin, as the changelings resemble the child that was taken. That is, until the changelings reach puberty and their ancestry starts to manifest itself in various ways. The first thing that happens is that changelings will start to feel repulsed by holy items and buildings. The effects may vary from slight nausea when entering a temple to burning in the throat when drinking blessed wine or food. Later, the changeling will start to experience an unnaturally strong sexual drive, even towards other women.

Despite these early signs, changelings are rarely discovered until the physical changes occur. Most changelings grow horns, though their size vary. A few grow a tail. Sharp teeth and claw-like nails are not uncommon. Some experience that their pupils take the form of vertical slits, like those cats have. Hoofs are fairly rare, though not unheard of.

This transformation tend to accelerate between the changeling's 18th and 20th year. Most try their best to hide it. A tail can easily be hidden underneath a skirt and horns can be obscured by hair or a headscarf. Some manage to stay hidden for several years. Those that do tend to engage in several sexual relationships with both men and women, as it is impossible for them to deny their animalistic urges. Changelings have a natural affinity for seduction and some may even bewitch humans into falling for them. Incest with members of their adoptive families are common, especially among siblings. Changelings are often exchanged for a child with a twin, and these tend to fall in love with their adoptive brother or sister.

But no matter how cunning they are, changelings are usually found out sooner or later. Some are discovered on their wedding nights, as the groom removes their dress and veil. Others draw attention to themselves through the affairs they engage in. Women from respectable families are not allowed to engage in premarital relations. Loose women get put in the scaffold. If that happens, it becomes hard to hide the horns.

Discovery means death or banishment. Changelings will therefore leave their hometowns at a young age. A lone girl is an easy target for a goblin band. Those that mange to make it on their own often discover a natural talent for magic and become sorceresses. Once their magical talents have been refined, they may find themselves able to once again hide themselves within human society. The rest tend to end up working in brothels, where patrons are less prejudiced, and they are valued for their exotic beauty.

The same men who would bed a changeling in a brothel might slay her if they saw her in the streets. Knight-errants sometimes stop by secluded brothels on their travels and find themselves enthralled by a changeling beauty. Maybe he will tell himself that his patron god will forgive him one night of sin. Maybe he plans to do his duty and kill the changeling once he has spilled his seed on her. But such a knight will be foolish, because when the rooster croaks, it will likely be his blood that soaks the sheets.

Changelings look much like humans, though they all have some physical features to bear witness of their heritage. They are generally quite beautiful, though often unconventionally so. Men tend to find them exotic, even before they notice their horns.

Goblins tend to treat changelings just like they treat their other human captives. If they have tails or horns, the goblins will usually find some way to decorate them. Changelings with hoofs are often superior runners.

Some changelings have managed to bewitch their riders. However, even when bewitched, goblins are unlikely to set their captives free. The changeling may be able to exert some influence over her rider and the rest of the band, but she still has to serve as their beast.

Harpies - Women Who Can Fly

Harpies are descendants of human women who were cursed to live as birds. Their appearance vary greatly, though they all have large wings. Some have arms in addition to wings, though some do not. It is common for them to have claws instead of hands and feet, though this is not universal. The amount of plumage on their bodies also vary. Some are covered in feathers, while others are completely naked. It is extremely rare for harpies to have beaks, though it does occur.

Harpies are bestial in nature. They don't wear clothes and they don't use tools, though those who don't have claws may sometimes arm themselves with weapons, though they don't make them themselves. It is extremely uncommon for them to have the capacity for speech. Most communicate among themselves using birdlike noises, though they are not particularly social.

Harpies are exclusively female. They procreate by violently raping human men. The experience is far from pleasant for the father. It is speculated that harpies regain some of their humanity with every generation, as their cursed blood becomes diluted. If that is true, then they could one day become civilized. The idea is a troubling one, as harpies are dangerous enough as it is.

Catching and taming a harpy is extremely difficult. They only leave the skies when they swoop down to capture food. They are carnivores and live off medium sized mammals, including humans. Few can stand against their ferocity. A goblin may manage to slay one if he is lucky, though he would be hard pressed to capture one. Harpy attacks are rare, come without warning and are usually over in an instant. There is no possibility for setting ambushes or laying traps. The only way to catch them off guard is to climb up to their nests, which lie atop mountain shelves that are inaccessible on foot. If the harpies spot a climber, they will knock him down to his death. And harpy nests are often close together, so that if a goblin manages to make it to a nest and overpower one harpy, he will be torn to shreds by her sisters.

If a goblin manages to capture a harpy, he faces the problem of how to get back down off the mountain. Taming a harpy takes time. Attempting to ride an untamed harpy is pretty much suicide. Some goblins have managed to make it down by tying themselves to the back of the harpy and then allowing her to fly wildly until she is exhausted and forced to land. This is extremely dangerous, as the harpy is likely to try to squash the goblin against the mountain wall or to call to her sisters for aid.

One possibility would be to steal the harpy's eggs. This is difficult, though not impossible. The thief would have to climb up to the nest and down without being discovered and without taking a break, because once the mother discovers the theft, she will do all she can to hunt down the thief and give him a quick and painful death. However, the biggest problem with this strategy is that goblins lack the patience to raise a harpy hatchling. They want a big and fearsome adult one.

And if a goblin should manage to capture a harpy and bring her safely down to solid ground, he will find that these creatures are almost impossible to tame. Even should he succeed, he would risk his life each time he rides her.

Harpy taming is only practiced by the craziest of greenskins. The harpy riders of legends would eat agaric mushrooms before taking to the air. Out of their mind on hallucinogens, they would terrorize human settlements atop their winged beasts. Few stood a chance against their fury. Instead of dying to their enemies steel, most of them eventually fell from their mounts and broke their necks, until there was none of them left. The human bards wrote fraudulent stories of their defeat, making it seem like it was great human warriors who had slain them.

Vampires - A Very Bad Idea

Vampires are fearsome creatures who feed off of human blood, preferably that of sexually mature virgins. They look like humans, though they are not much alike the people they used to be. Their minds are inscrutable. Wizards, priests, philosophers, warlocks, necromancers and all sorts of other humans have capture vampires in order to learn more about their nature. Anyone who communes with them for long loose their minds. Vampires are completely cut off from the divine and they have the power to convince the living that salvation is beyond their reach.

Vampires look like early death. They are pale and peaceful. Though they are dead, their bodies are untouched by maggots and rot. Drinking blood puts some color back to their cheeks and appears to restore a modicum of their sanity, so that they can talk to a living human without immediately betraying their demonic condition. Most have few other concerns than eroding and consuming all of human civilization, so that their cities can be turned into silent mausoleums. When the last living creature has died, the vampires will finally be able to rest themselves.

Vampires are animated by powerful dark sorcery, which makes them nigh invulnerable. The easiest way to kill them is by mutilating their bodies, while they are at rest and then burn the remains. Taming them is impossible. The only way to control them is through dark sorcery of the kind that will eventually corrupt and erode the mind of the practitioner.

There have been a few notable goblins necromancers. All of them went insane and fell victim to their thralls. None of them seems to have tried to ride their vampires, which is understandable, seeing that vampires can't be controlled by regular rope and reins. However, as they do with all their captives, goblin necromancers rob their vampire thralls of their clothes.

The hatred that these undead demonesses harbor for their tiny green masters is beyond human understanding. Any vainglorious goblin who tries to dominate a vampire's mind can never let his guard down. If the spell is ever broken, the vampire will have her revenge.

Stories tell of young women who have been woken up at night by beautiful song that make their blood run cold. When they raise from their beds, they see beautiful naked women outside their bedroom window, pleading to be let in or for the young woman to come out. The first night she refuses. The second night, she is tempted. The third night, she presses her hand between her thighs and orgasms furiously, as they sing their song for her. The fourth night, she takes off her clothes and joins them outside, allowing them to drink of her blood. The fifth and sixth night, she lets them into her bedroom. This continues until the seventh night, when she follows them back to their goblin master.

Sex with vampires is physically possible, though some sort of lubrication is recommended, as their cunts are as dry as their assholes. Vampires take no pleasure in such an act and feel no pain. If she is under your thrall, she will joylessly obey your commands, as she stares into your eyes and plans the exact manner that she will one day torture you to death and drink from your dripping entrails.

Trolls - Fat Brutes Who Cook and Eat Every Bipedal Creature They Find

Not even goblins are stupid enough to try to tame trolls. If any were, then they were likely cooked and eaten.

Giants - The Sight of Which May Turn a Man off Sex Forever

Giants are massive humanoid monsters that vaguely resemble humans. They are few in number. Those that still exist roam the earth, feeding off any creature that is large enough to sate their hunger, usually alongside a single partner. They eat any livestock they come across.

Giants don't wear clothes. The men swing their massive cocks around and women let their drooping tits flap freely. They don't use complex tools. They may pull a tree from the ground and use it to club a cow to death.

Capturing giantesses is almost impossible. No rope is strong enough to bind them. But there is a story of goblins who managed to assault an impenetrable dwarven fortress, while riding atop giant women. Most of the riders fell to their deaths, before they even reached the walls. The dwarves crossbows made the giantesses go berserk and they ate all the dwarves and smashed their buildings. After it was all over and the giants had left, the goblins discovered that there were no women left to capture and the treasure was buried under tons of rubble.