Going Home

And then it hit here that 'the reason' would be there in less than an hour and she still had to get ready for work and get Skylar up.

The hot water helped as she stood there in the shower once again going over the same 'what-if' scenarios from just a few hours ago. She was still tired and probably not thinking at an optimum level, but for the first time she wasn't nearly as torn about the thought of possibly dating a younger man; even a much-younger one, at that. She wasn't yet completely comfortable with the idea, but it was no longer a 'show stopper', something else her late father had often said.

"It's not like you're agreeing to marrying him," she told herself. "It's just spending some time with someone who's really nice. And...really handsome. And...someone who lost his wife who knows what you're going through, and who has a daughter the same age as yours and who's patriotic and..."

By the time she got out of the shower and got dressed, she found herself anxiously looking forward to seeing him again. By the time she had Skylar up and ready to go, the word 'giddy' came to mind and seemed to describe how she was feeling as she sipped a second cup of coffee and waited.

Skylar was very tired when Gray arrived, and her mom left her on her bed to give them some privacy.

"Hi," she said sweetly when she let him in.

"Good morning," Gray told her.

When he closed the door and turned around, Reagan was directly in front of him.

"I really, really want to kiss you good morning," he told her.

Suddenly, the age difference didn't seem to matter and she said, "Hmmm. I really want you to, so..."

She moved closer and put her arms around his neck and let him kiss her

"Wow. That was...amazing," he told her.

"Yes. It was very nice, wasn't it?" she replied.

"I had a dream you'd thought about this and decided age mattered too much."

She smiled then told him she had done a lot of thinking.

"But I came to a very different conclusion."

"Oh. Okay. Well...I'm glad," Gray told before kissing her again.

"I'm still nervous, but I realized age alone isn't a valid reason to at least not get to know you a little better."

"Whatever the reason, I'm very happy."

"Me, too," she said very sweetly before kissing him one more time. "Okay, let me go get Miss Sleepyhead."

She brought her little girl out, and she was literally asleep.

"Someone's tired," Gray said as he took her from her mother.

"So is her mom," Reagan said with a smile. "All that thinking I was doing kept me up a lot later than I wanted to be."

"I'm sorry," Gray told her sincerely.

"It's okay," she told him quietly. "Had you not let me know how you feel, I'd have never given any thought to any of that. And..."

Since Skylar was out cold, she kissed this handsome younger man again then finished her sentence.

"And...I'd have never been able to do that."

"Then I'm very thankful for your thinking," he said with a smile.

Reagan was so happy just that little amount of playfulness made her laugh.

"Do you know when your next day off is?" Gray asked.

"Yes. Tentatively, at least. I'm off on Wednesday."

"Would you maybe like to take the girls and do something together?" he asked.

"I would like that very much," she told him quietly and with a big smile.

"Great. I have several things in mind. Perhaps we can discuss them this evening."

"I'd like that, too," Reagan told him.

"Well, I'll uh, I'll see then, okay?"

"Yes. Yes, you will," she said as he leaned over to kiss her one more time.

She saw Skylar's right eye open just before hers closed, so she kept her left eye open to see if her daughter was watching.

"Do you love Mr. Gray Man?" she asked in her sleepy voice.

"I...I don't know, honey," her mother said. "But I do...like him."

She put her hand on her daughter's back then asked, "Is that okay?"

Skylar only nodded then put her little arms around Gray's neck and held it tight as she fell back asleep within seconds.

"Does your mom know?" Reagan asked. It wasn't a 'she better not' warning. It was just a simple, straightforward question.

"She doesn't have details, but she knows something is up. In fact, she kind of orchestrated us being alone last night hoping we might talk," he told her. "Is that okay?"

"If it wasn't for your mother, I wouldn't have even met you, so...yes. That's just fine."

"She thinks it's great, by the way. Whatever 'it' might be."

Reagan only smiled then wished him a good day as he did the same to her.

While she was at work, her new best friend whose name was Brandi, could tell something was going on. During a short break she asked what it was.

"I kind of met someone," Reagan told her.

Brandi nearly squealed and hugged her friend.

"Seriously? Oh, my gosh! Tell me all about him!" she said.

"Well, he's handsome. Very handsome," Reagan began.

"Handsome is good!" Brandi told her.

"And he was an officer in the Marine Corps."

"I love a man in uniform," Brandi said, unable to stop smiling.

"He has a daughter who's just a few months younger than Skyler."

"Uh-huh. That's good, right?"

"Yes. That's very good. And sadly, he's a widower, so he knows what I've been through."

"Oh, my goodness. Reagan, that is so awful!"

Before Reagan could reply, Brandi said, "But not awful from the standpoint of knowing how you feel, right?"

"Exactly," Reagan said.

"I sense a 'but' coming. Is there one?"

Reagan took a deep breath then said, "Please don't tell anyone, okay?"

"What? What is it? He...he's not married, is he? No. Wait. He couldn't be. Could he?" her friend asked, her confusion obvious.

"No. He hasn't remarried. It's just that...he's...he's..."

"What? What...is he?" Brandi asked.

Reagan made a wincing face then said, "Younger. A...lot...younger."

"Oh. OHHH!" Brandi said. "How much...younger?"

"You don't want to know," Reagan said as she looked at her watch. "And we really need to get back to work."

"Yes, we do, but we aren't going anywhere until you tell me just how much younger we're talking about here."

Brandi was 35 and still single, and her mind was racing trying to think of the number of years that would give her cause for concern.

"Is he my age? That wouldn't bother you, would it?"

"No. And no, it wouldn't," Reagan told her.

"So...he's under 35 then?"

"Oh, yeah. He's definitely under 35."

"Wait. He's not...under...30...is he?" she asked, her eyes open wide.

Reagan winced again and Brandi's eyes got even wider.

"Oh, my God! He's under 30? Are you serious?"

"I...kind of am," Reagan admitted with another small wince.

"Oh, my...word. How much under?" Brandi asked.

Reagan realized she hadn't asked him specifically, but she remembered the 'Guy #2' scenario and he was 26 leading her to believe that was Gray's age.

Without answering Brandi's question directly, she asked her a question of her own.

"Do you think I've lost my mind?"

"I...I don't know," Brandi told her. "But if he's that handsome and that responsible, and if he's raising a daughter on his own..."

Reagan looked at her friend waiting for the other shoe to drop when Brandi said, "Does he have a brother by any chance?"

Brandi's look of concern was now one of playful joy, and Reagan laughed.

"No. Sorry. He's an only child, but you never answered my question."

She looked right at Brandi then asked her again, "Am I crazy?"

"Like a fox!" her friend said.

Reagan laughed then said, "No! Be serious. Please?"

"Listen. No one but someone like this...young guy of yours...understands what you've been through. So based on what little you've told me, he sounds pretty amazing, Reagan. And if he makes you happy, and if he feels the same way about you, then...you are most definitely not crazy."

"Really? You're not just saying that because we're friends?"

"No. Of course not. If I thought you were making a mistake, I'd tell you. If this guy worked in a tattoo parlor, chain smoked, and rode a Harley and got high, it wouldn't matter that he was gorgeous. I'd tell you to get the hell away as fast as you can. But this guy sounds responsible and intelligent and..."

Brandi smiled before saying, "Yummy!"

Reagan allowed herself to laugh then told Brandi, "Oh, he's very yummy. Almost too yummy."

"Wait. How can anyone be too yummy?"

"It's just that he's so good looking I can't help but wonder if that's coloring my judgment, you know?"

"Then spend some time with him and see if there's anything about him so bad you can't justify see him anymore."

"And what if I spend time with him and can't find anything?"

"That's not a serious question, is it?" Brandi asked.

"Yes. It's very serious. I'm turning 39 here fairly soon. What if I fall in love with this gorgeous, younger man, and then he realizes I'm not just a lot older but...old?"

"Hey. If he's the kind of guy he sounds like, that's not going to happen. He's obviously thought about that already, and unless he's hitting on you just to get laid, I don't think that's too much of a concern. And from what you've told me, that seems pretty unlikely."

Reagan had a troubled look on her face so Brandi put her hands on her friends forearms then said, "Come on. Give yourself some credit. You're...older than me...and look ten years younger and a whole lot more beautiful."

"Hey! Don't talk like that!" Reagan said.

"I'm just being honest, Reagan. You're freaking gorgeous! And if he loves you now, he'll love you...then. And...forever. And you have to understand you could meet someone our age who could still break your heart, right?"

"You sound like Gray," Reagan told her.

"Gray? Is that your young new boyfriend's name? Gray?"

"My boyfriend. Wow. I...I'm not sure if he's my boyfriend, but yes, his name is Gray. Gray Lukeman."

"Wait? Ella's son, Gray?" Brandi asked.

"Uh-huh. Why?"

"Oh, my God! He is freaking gorgeous! I've seen pictures. Lots of pictures. Ella showed them to everyone."

"He is gorgeous. I just don't want to make a mistake, you know? I have a daughter to think about, too."

"Reagan? Listen to me. Again, even if this guy...Gray...was the same age as you are, there's no guarantee you wouldn't be making a mistake. So please stop saying that and give this a chance on its own merits. Okay?"

Reagan sighed deeply then told her friend, "I can't thank you enough for being my sounding board. I thought I'd go crazy trying to figure this out on my own."

"I'm always here for you, girl. You know that, right?"

Reagan smiled then reached out to hug her friend.

"Yes. Yes, I do. And I love you for that."

"Ohh! I love you, too, honey. Now stop doubting yourself so much and try trusting your heart a little more."

Reagan pulled back and said, "You sound like Gray—again."

"Well, he's obviously brilliant then!" Brandi said before hugging her friend again as they both laughed.

Just before Gray left to take Skylar home that evening, his mom asked how things went with Reagan that morning. She'd been dying to ask all day, but didn't want to badger him.

"Great, actually. We're planning on spending the day together on Wednesday."

"That's wonderful!" his mom said. "If you need me to watch the girls..."

"Thanks, Mom, but we want to take them with us."

"Well, if you ever do need me to babysit...day or night..."

The way his mom said that and the way she was smiling made him laugh.

"Thanks, Mom. I'll definitely let you know."

That night and on Tuesday, he and Reagan didn't spend too much time together, but they did kiss whenever they thought they were alone, and on Monday evening, they discussed plans for Wednesday.

Gray mentioned the zoo, and Reagan said she hadn't been since before Skylar was born and thought it sounded perfect.

"Well, the weather is supposed to cooperate, so let's do that," Gray told her once he knew she was interested.

"The girls will love it," Reagan told him.

She snuck in a kiss while Skylar wasn't looking then said, "And who knows? I might even enjoy it, too."

Her playful smile made Gray smile back.

"Yeah. I think I might enjoy someone's company myself."

The average high for that time of year in Seattle was 47 degrees, and the weather did cooperate in that it didn't rain, but it was a typical dark, gray day with a heavy bank of clouds covering the entire sky. But neither Gray nor Reagan noticed as they spent the day holding hands as they walked while showing their girls the various animals, and enjoying a kiss here and there whenever they stopped.

The first time they kissed that morning both girls were watching, and they were well aware of that fact. Skylar had forgotten about her mommy's having kissed the Gray Man, but her eyes opened wide, too, when she saw it.

"Daddy? Why are you kissing Miss Reagan?" Kady asked.

"Because Daddy really, really likes her," he replied without talking his eyes off of the beautiful, older woman in his arms.

"Two 'reallys'. I really, really like that," Reagan told him before kissing him back.

In spite of the relative chill, it couldn't have been a more perfect day for all four of them. The girls absolutely loved the animals, and like their parents, they held hands much of the time. Lunch was also a lot of fun as the four of them sat together eating and talking.

Reagan shared her chat with Brandi during lunch then said, "I'm so glad she convinced me I'm not crazy."

The smile that accompanied her comment made Gray very happy.

"I owe her a big 'thank you'," he told her.

"Yeah. She's pretty great," Reagan said.

She paused then added, "You're kind of great yourself."

"Kind of?" Gray said as though he was giving that a lot of thought. "Okay. I can live with that."

Reagan laughed then leaned over and kissed him.

"You know what?" Gray said.

"Uh-uh. Tell me," Reagan said before taking a small bite of her warm clam chowder.

"I could get used to this," Gray replied as he glanced at Reagan then their two girls.

She looked, too, then said, "Hmmm. You know what? That might not be so bad."

There was that sweet, playful voice and look again, and Gray knew then and there he was falling in love with her. What he didn't know was Reagan was having similar thoughts but too afraid to share them.

The rest of the day flew by as they saw everything there was to see from soup to nuts. The girls complained when they had to leave, but both of them fell asleep in the warm car on the ride home.

"They're so precious," Reagan said when she turned around and saw their rosy cheeks.

"Yes. Yes they are," Gray said as he reached over for her hand.

Reagan gave it to him immediately, and when he glanced over at her, she could tell he wanted to say something.

"What?" she asked as she looked over.

"I don't think I've ever used the word 'precious' before, but I wanted to tell you, that's what you are to me, too."

He was driving and couldn't look over, but he didn't need to when Reagan squeezed his hand.

"Can Marines be precious?" she asked sweetly.

"I don't know. Well, maybe. Just not in public," he told her with a smile.

"Well, there's no one else here so if I tell you you're precious to me, is that okay?" she asked, her heart full of joy and happiness for the first time so long she couldn't remember.

He squeezed her hand then said, "It is. Just don't tell anyone, okay?"

"I promise," she said with a happy smile.

The following evening, his stay after dropping off Skylar was quite a bit longer than usual. The day after that it was nearly twice that long. The following day, he brought Kady with him, and they stayed until nearly ten o'clock.

"I have a rare weekend off," Reagan told him as they sat on the couch.

"Oh. I see," Gray replied.

"I was wondering if you might like to maybe spend some time with me."

"With you or with you and Skylar?" he asked just to be sure.

"Well, if your mom is still willing to watch the girls for us..."

"Oh. I see," he told her again with a smile.

"I was thinking my place is...available."

She smiled then added, "All day and...all night."

"Oh. I...see!" Gray said again only a little louder.

"Would you maybe be interested?" she asked as she traced little circles on his chest.

"Yes. Very," he told her. "But why don't we go somewhere...special? Like maybe the San Juan Islands."

"That would be very expensive," she told him. She wasn't saying 'no' she was just looking out for his...wallet.

"I'm still getting paid, you know," he told her.

"No. I didn't know," Reagan said, a puzzled look on her face.

He explained what 'terminal leave' was and that he was technically still on active duty and therefore getting paid.

"I had no idea," she told him.

Reagan moved closer, smiled, and said, "So...you're loaded then."

Gray laughed then told her, "Not exactly, but I love it when you're so playful."

"I can be even more playful," she told him as she nuzzled his neck.

The girls were already asleep on Skylar's bed, but she still whispered when she added, "When we're alone."

"I'm looking forward to finding out just how playful," Gray whispered back.

"You know what?" she said very quietly.

"No. Please tell me."

"I don't care about the age difference anymore."

"No?" he asked as he brushed her hair back.

"No. Not at all."

"May I ask what changed your mind?"

"You," she told him. "Everything about you, in fact. I can't find one single thing, other than the age issue, I don't love about..."

"Sorry," she said very quickly. "I only meant to say..."

"It's okay. I love you, too," he told her, throwing caution to the wind as he looked into her eyes.

Her eyes were darting with his again, but not like before. In the past, she was searching for a something very different. Now, all she needed to see was the sincerity in them. And it was right there, big as life.

"I love you, too," she whispered back.

Gray kissed her for several seconds, and for the first time, the kiss became passionate as tongues touched then danced.

"We don't have to wait until the weekend," Reagan said very quietly when the kiss ended.

"Both of the girls sleep like logs," he added.

"Yes. Yes, they do," Reagan replied.

"Are you sure?" Gray asked knowing she was.

"Uh-huh. Very sure."

"Let me just text my mom so she'll know Kady and I won't be home at our normal time, okay?" he said with a warm smile.

Reagan understood that meant Ella would know, and yet she already knew that's exactly what the woman she replaced wanted.

"Okay. The girls fell asleep, so I'm just gonna go tuck them in then get ready."

"I'll be right there," he told her as Reagan stood up and Gray reached for his phone.

"Oh. I see," he heard his mother say very cheerfully.

"So I'll see you in the morning then," her son said.

"No hurry. Take your time," Ella told him.

"Thanks, and...I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too, honey."

With that, the conversation was over, and Gray went to find the beautiful woman he was about to make love with for the first time.

She was already in the bathroom of the master bedroom when he gently knocked.

"I'm not ready yet," she told him in a panicked voice as she closed the bathroom door.

Not sure what to do, he sat down on the edge of her bed then waited.

"Can you turn the light off, please?" she asked from the bathroom.

"I can," he replied.

"Would you?" she asked.

"I will if you'll leave the bathroom light on," he said with a smile.

There was a long pause before Reagan said, "Okay."

She did leave it on, but she nearly closed the door when she came out wearing a beautiful, white, silky nightie, white stockings, and white heels.

"Is this okay?" she asked as though it was her first time.

Even in the relative darkness, Gray could see every part of her beautiful body and told her it was perfect.