Going "Local"

Author's Note: This story takes place in Hawaii that is rich in different cultures. So that the various people could get along, "Hawaiian Pidgin English" has become the "common-speech" among the State's locals (don't call them natives). "Pidgin" is English blended with the native Hawaiian language and seasoned with a liberal dose of the languages of the other nationalities who later settled in the Islands. It is an abbreviated language that leaves out many English language conventions and often some of the words. The meaning, however, can be understood if the words are just said aloud - try it, you might get the gist of what was said.

No realistic tale about Hawaii's people would be contextually appropriate without a healthy dose of Pidgin. For those proofreading critics out there, I ask that you be open to a different way of speaking. Kick back to enjoy this local-style telling.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Her name was Maddy, a twenty-four-year-old strawberry-blond with creamy-white complexion and sparkling blue-eyes. Standing at five-six, she was nice looking in a girl-next-door way. Yet, what drew you to this small-town girl from rural Massachusetts was her irresistable cheerful personality that put a smile on the faces of those she encountered. Simply put, Maddy's beauty came from within and never failed to make those around her happy and attracted to her.

Maddy had jumped at the opportunity to apply for a Pacific marine biology post-graduate internship offered by the leading Hawaii university and was thrilled beyond words when she was accepted. For her, this was a life-time's` chance to explore not only warm water biology but also the ethnic diversity of the Islands that was so starkly different from her homogenized upbringing. The lure of a different world thrilled Maddy to no end and deep down inside, she knew that this internship would be a life-changer.

This became readily apparent when during her internship orientation Maddy found herself a minority among the program's interns. She quickly realized that she was the only pale-skin/fair-haired one and that the other interns were dark-haired and with skin tones ranging from subtle yellow-ivory to rich chocolate brown. The latter was embodied in Kamuela who made Maddy gulp for some unknown reason the moment she laid eyes on his handsome face and those warm brown eyes of his. She couldn't believe her dumb luck whien she was to be partnered with him for the first semester.

"Howzit (Hello), haole (Caucasian, white) girl? I'm Kamuela -- that pronounced, 'Ka-moo-el-la' -- which is the Hawaiian version of Samuel. Just call me Kamu. So, Maddy, where you from?"

A surprised Maddy stuttered, "Massachusetts," as she adjusted her listening to grasp the spoken Pidgin English, its syntax changes, and unique idioms that she had read so much about.

"Oh," quipped Kamu "One of 'dem (them) missionaries who came to help us Hawaiian people and ended up helping themselves to our lands." Then seeing Maddy's look of amazement and uncertainty, Kamu quickly said, "Nah, nah, sista (sister). I was only pulling your leg. Aloha to the Islands. So, how come you here?"

"Hawaii has always been on my bucket list," slipped easily from Maddy's lips as she grasped what was asked of her. "Don't ask why -- it just has been...and, no, it's not Waikiki or any of the other travel attractions. This place with its different peoples and cultures is so...different...so intriguing...from my rather boring and bland hometown that has only one black person and a handful of Puerto Ricans. And before you say anything, Kumu, I'm not just a fly-by-night tourist posing as a student. I'm here to take advantage of a unique opportunity, in and outside of the ocean. I want to immerse myself in what Hawaii is and find whatever it is that I'm looking for."

"Yeow! Well, whop my jaws (I stand corrected)! So, you want to 'go local' (adopting Hawaii as your own)...good for you, girl. I'll make a kama'aina (a resident who's accept Hawaii as home) out of you yet. I tell you what, how about after we get through this boring orientation, we go get some grinds (food) at my auntie's Hawaiian food place up on Kapahulu Avenue. I want to see your face when you taste poi (mashed steamed taro) and poke (seasoned raw fish cubes). If you want to learn a culture, start with its food. What do you say?"

"Okay, Kumu. However, since you're willing to introduce me to Hawaiian culture and food, I'll pay. What do you say to that?"

"Oooh, haole girl. How did you know that the way to a kanaka's (Hawaiian's} heart is through his opu (stomach)...especially if it's free kaukau (food)? Shoots (okay)! You go, girl!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Three hours later, Maddy found herself seated at a small table with Kamu in a crowded bustling restaurant. She had discovered that despite his laidback local demeanor, Kamu was quite intellectual and very capable of turning the "Pidgin" on and off as one would turn on a faucet. He had graduated top honors from an all-Hawaiian private school where he also excelled in sports and especially football. While he didn't want to admit it, Kamu had achieved honors in his collegiate studies at prestigious universities on the mainland (the continental United States) before returning to Hawaii for his post-graduate internship and to his large extended family.

"Jeez, Kamu, we're not that different. Contrary to popular opinion...ha, ha...I'm not the dizzy haole girl that I seem. I'm a bit of a nerd when it comes to studying but ain't too bad at running track...the four-forty and relay hurdles especially. Hey, in a small farming community of seven-thousand, there's not a whole lot to do. I graduated with my undergraduate and graduate degrees from the State's university with a dual major in biology and oceanography before applying for the post-graduate program that we're in."

"Ho, Kamu! Long time no see (it's been a while), nephew. And since when you into 'shark-bait'?" said a heavy-set brown-skinned woman who was clearly the bossy-type and who promptly kissed Kamu on the cheek. "What? The local girls not your thing (not your preference) after your mainland studies?"

"Nah, Auntie! Good to see you but no make shame (stop embarrassing me). This here is Maddy -- we're partners in our marine biology internship program. Maddy, this is my Auntie Leilani, my mom's older sister."

"Nice to meet you, ma'am," squeaked Maddy as she was unsure as to how to properly address Kamu's aunt.

"Girl, just call me Leilani. Nice to meet you too. It's about time Kamu brought a girl who has some manners and can put up with Kamu here. I hope you take good care of this kolohe (rascal) nephew of mine. So, now that introductions all pau (are finished), what you guys like (what do you want)?"

"Well, auntie, this is Maddy's first taste of Hawaiian food. So, how about poi... poke...some chicken long rice (bits of chicken in a rice noodle stew), laulau (steamed pork and salted fish wrapped in taro leaves), lomi-lomi salmon (small salted salmon cubes mix with diced tomatoes and onions) and a little bit haupia (coconut pudding)?"

"Okay, Kamu, the Hawaiian plate...two times? Maddy-girl, I hope a skinny thing like you can eat plenty...but no worries, Kamu will scarf-up (eat) whatever you don't. Okay, I'll place the order and the kaukau will be right up. Hope you enjoy it, Maddy."

After Leilani had left, Maddy leaned over and whispered, "Kamu, what's 'shark-bait' and was your auntie referring to me?"

Kamu laughed and said, "'Shark-bait' is a local term that applies to haoles...you pale-skinned people. When you go in the ocean, the sharks around here are attracted to and would rather eat the white-meat than the brown-meat like me. It's good that we're partnered because if we meet a shark while in the water, he'll be so full after eating you that he won't bother with me. Hmmm...I better fatten you up a bit just to make sure."

"Kamu! You're terrible!" piped Maddy, trying but failing to project necessary righteous indignation. "It's a good thing you're seat across the table or I'd choke your neck. Hmmph! I can see that I had better watch myself with you. Hmmph!"

"Ha, you right, Maddy. Not all sharks are in the water...we have the two-legged kind too who just love sweet haole girls like you."

"And are you one of the two-legged kind?" said Maddy as her eyes reassessed the guy sitting across the table and for some reason, found herself unusually interested as she waited for Kamu's response.

"No brag (to be honest), I've had my fair share of shark-bait coeds and tourists looking for a fling with a Hawaiian beachboy...as well as the local wahines (women) Given my reputation with the wahines, my family and especially my Auntie Lei always worried that I would end up making some girl hapai."

"'Hapai?' What does that mean?"

"Pregnant."

"So, you're so kind of Hawaiian stud-muffin? The rooster in the hen house?"

"Nah, guys aren't the only gender that spins tall tales. The local wahines that I have been with like to...'exaggerate' their relationship with me. But I was extremely careful with them because local girls can get pregnant if you sneeze around them. Among us Hawaiians, having kids before getting married...well...is kind of the norm rather than the exception. So, what about you, Maddy? Any boyfriend going to pop up for a Hawaiian visit with you?"

"Me? No, none that are welcomed. Keep what I'm about to share to yourself, Kamu. I had a boyfriend in high school but it was just an 'okay' relationship...hey, in a rural area, the pickings are kind of slim...and we both knew we'd part after graduation. Even though we were more like friends, he expected certain 'privileges'...kissing and a whole lot of petting, if you know what I mean. But talk gets around a small town, and a girl can pick up a reputation really fast...and so I had to be extremely careful in terms of what we did.

"To my dismay, I soon discovered that my state is so small that when I went to UMass (University of Massachusetts), my folks knew about the guys whom I was seeing. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, these affairs didn't work out...the last guy could be particularly demanding and nasty when he wasn't pleased. In retrospect, my affairs never panned out partly because they weren't willing to make a commitment and that I wasn;t willing to go as far as they wanted.

"When I came to Hawaii, I told myself it was to get away from the small-town-small-state mentality. However, now that I'm here, I realized what had been missing from my life. I never realized just how exciting trying new things could be. What I really wanted was to add some color and contrast to my rather 'vanilla-world,' if you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I do. Hawaii is even smaller than Massachusetts. I went to the mainland to get off this rock and go someplace where everyone didn't know or was somehow was related to each other. And to use your analogy, I wanted to add some cream to my coffee. But my years in the states was enough to convince me that there's no place like Hawaii and so I came home. I hope that you will come to feel the way I do, Maddy?"

"As do I, Kamu. Hey, here comes your aunt with our food. Let's add the taste of Hawaiian food to my new experiences. Gotta make sure that I'm a satisfying feast to the sharks in and especially out of the water. Let's dig in."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"So, haole-girl, whatcha (what do you) think of Hawaiian food?" asked Leilani as she began to clear the empty dishes.

"Oh, my gosh, it was so good! There were flavors that I've never experienced. That poke...who would have thought raw fish could be so yummy. And poi, it was so subtle...I don't know how to describe it. Kamu say that the food was...'broke da mouth' (incredibly delicious), and I wholeheartedly agree. Who would have thought that I would have eaten everything? I better watch myself or I'll turn into a female Moby Dick -- the fat white whale."

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed the food. Not many malihini (outsiders) get the guts to try, and most wouldn't have whacked the food (eaten with gusto) as you did. Hey, Kumu, this here girl is a keeper. I tell you what...if the two of you are free, why don't you drop by my place in the country next month to help celebrate the first birthday of my grandson, Kimo?

"What, Kamu, you no remember (you forgot)? Sometimes brahda (brother, a term of familiarity), you're so lolo (crazy) that you'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on to your shoulders. Sigh!

"Anyway, Maddy, we'll be baking a pig in the imu (underground oven) and the kalua pork (slow-baked shredded pig) is guaranteed to be ono (taste delicious). No be shame (don't be embarrassed/concern) - just show up -- it'll just be family and close friends. And you, Kamu, you show your face (be there) too! The uncles and aunties haven't seen you since you came back, and your cousins forget what you look like. Be there or I'm gonna crank you one upside the head (slap you) when I see you next -- you understand?"

"No get all hoo-hoo, chill (don't be mad, calm down), Auntie. Maddy, next month is a long way off, but Maddy, if you're free, would you like to go to a family party out in the country?" When Maddy sat upright with a broad grin on her face and her blue eyes sparkling, Kamu turned to his aunt "'K den (okay then), what time you like us there? What early enough to help take the pig out of the imu? Sigh, 'k den, bumbye (okay, goodbye)."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

In the following month, Maddy and Kamu were practically inseparable, in and out of school. They just naturally clicked and were often seen making fun of each other, studying together, and engaging in some pretty intense discussions about their individual outlooks on life. When their classmates asked if they were dating, they seemed oblivious to the possibility. Each in her or his own way just said that they were just 'hanging out' and enjoying being together'

An early Friday morning found Maddy and Kamu waiting at a pier with their intern group for a scuba lesson and ocean orientation. "Hey, Kamu, I've been thinking. I didn't mean to force you to attend your auntie's event tomorrow. I mean I wouldn't mind...and was kind of looking forward to it...but only if you want to go and to take me."

"Nah, no sweat (don't worry), Maddy. I've been meaning to make the rounds to see the family and at the party, I can do that. Plus, you'll see the lay-back side of Hawaii that not too many newcomers get to experience, and I'll get to see how you do with us locals and especially my ohana (extended family). But I got to warn you that my ohana, especially my aunties, will be checking you out (assessing you) too. If you're okay with that, I'll pick you up at the dorm as planned.

"Okay, to change the subject, have you ever done scuba diving before? No, just snorkeling? Okay, stay close to me and you'll be okay. Now, with your snow-white skin, did you put on sunblock?"

"Oh, yeah, I applied an SPF 30 sunscreen but I didn't put too much on since we'll be in the water and I won't burn."

"Maddy! This is Hawaii, and the sun is a lot stronger here even if you're in the water. Here, I have a broad-spectrum sunblock that is rated at 100 SPF. Take off your t-shirt and shorts and liberally spray yourself with it. I'm not kidding, Maddy. Do it because you need to let it set before you go into the water. If you don't, you'll regret it and end up missing the party."

Although Maddy gave Kamu a questioning look, she undid and pulled off her shorts and then quickly did the same with her t-shirt. Standing in a surprisingly skimpy string bikini, she began to spray and then rub the sunblock to her face and the frontal portion of her body.

"Hmmm, not bad," thought Kamu as he watched his partner bend over to spray her front. "I always thought that Maddy was nice looking but this is the first time I've seen her without her usual clothes. I never thought of her as sexy, but I'll be damned if Maddy doesn't have potential...a flat stomach...nice hip and thighs...tight buns...and shapely legs...definitely nice. The only thing is that for a haole girl, Maddy is kind of small in the boob department...not flat-chested...just not a lot. Whoa, and speaking of boobs, when she bent over to rub the sunblock into her legs, her teensy bikini top fell away to give me a quick glimpse of her small perky titties...I wonder..."

"Kamu, can you do my back? I can't spray, much less rub it in," Maddy said as she sat down and leaned slightly forward.

Kamu sprayed and then began to rub the sunblock into her skin on her shoulders and back. Maddy sighed at the unexpected massage of Kamu's hands and fingers, and closing her eyes, slumped her shoulders forward in relaxation. This caused the small triangles of her bikini top to pucker and expose her bare breasts for her partner's appreciative eyes.

"All right, man, nice snow-white titties," thought Kamu appreciatively as he looked over Maddy's shoulder. "Her tips are a puffy pale pink, but where are her nipples? Oh, are the little buggers those small flat delicious-looking bumps nestled in the cloth triangles that made up her bikini top. Nice...definitely mouthwatering. Maddy is looking better and better."

Unbeknown to Kamu, Maddy was doing some checking out of her own. "Gosh, Kamu's got a body to die for! I knew he was muscular, but I didn't know he was so ripped...kind of takes my breath away. Why haven't I noticed how his broad shorts are full in the front and cutely tight in the back. Ooh, shit, his hands are so soft and yet so strong massaging my back...ooh damn. What is happening my fricking nipples are tingling...and my pussy...shit...am I getting squishy moist? Kamu? I never thought of him this way...but then again, he so handsome, pleasant, and funny...maybe...hmmm, why not?"

When they dove and swam underwater, Kamu as the more experienced diver took the lead, guiding her, and pointing out sea life she would have missed. They held hands as they swam together, and for each, it was an indication that their relationship was about to undergo an unanticipated but nevertheless welcome metamorphosis.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Early on the party day, Kamu and Maddy pulled off the main highway in Makaha to head up a private road to a ranch homestead. Stepping out of the jeep, Kamu was instantly engulfed in a sea of relatives with a lot of hugs, kisses, and backslapping. Then the questioning eyes began to notice this haole girl standing hesitantly outside of the passenger door of Kamu's jeep. It wasn't until Leilani came bustling out of the house to kiss Kamu on the cheek and warmly hug Maddy that the spell was broken.

"Folks," Leilani proclaimed loudly, "This is Maddy...Kamu's graduate intern partner and 'friend.' She has been kind enough to accept my invitation and to bring my kolohe nephew back home to his family. Please make Maddy welcomed."

At this, Maddy hugged Leilani tightly, and softly whispered her ear, "Leilani, I know that this may sound strange, but would you mind if I called you 'auntie?' I know we're not related but I feel strange calling you by your first name when Kamu is calling you auntie."

Leilani pulled back with a broad grin on her face and said, "Girl, in Hawaii, it is our custom to call our seniors as 'uncle' or 'auntie' as a sign of respect whether or not you're are related. I would be honored if you were to refer to me as 'auntie.'

"Excuse (forgive me), Maddy, but let me be niele (nosey)" Leilani said in a hushed tone so that others around them couldn't overhear their conversation, "Are you and Kamu a 'thing'...you know, a couple...like getting it on? I ask because after Kamu's parents passed away...God, bless their souls... when he was but a boy, I've raised him and have worried about his welfare and especially when he was hanging around the wrong kind of wahine, if you know what I mean."