All Comments on 'Gold Digger Ch. 03'

This story will probably irk just about everyone who is a regular reader in LW .

First , the Anti-Moral Brigade ( they know who they are ) will be screaming the old perfect hubby, stupid wife mantra that is so often used that it is TRULY a cliché .

Plus the fact that he found his soulmate so quickly will have them foaming and howling with Stang jabs ! ( I still love 95 % of your works Stang)

Then the Moral Brigade ( I guess this little Lue'ism is gonna stick) will howl that denise didn't get the scorched Earth policy.

The fact that Jeff figured out that " If it seems too good to be true, then it probably is", and came to the conclusion that he did , will make blood pressures rise dangerously !

My self , I got what SteveLee1146 was trying to convey , or at least I think I did, that Jeff basically got a years worth of having a high priced Call Girl to have fun with , but without any long term serious repercussions.

I found this series to be a fun little yarn. Thank you author !

5 *'s

Clever revenge, appropriate for the circumstances, considering Jeff's philosophical attitude and that he did not love her. Refreshing to read something new and not so hateful, after all he had a great year long GFE.

This was a good story...funny, easy to read, no violence but with some BTB! And some can ask why all that work after she had signed the divorce papers? That's what makes this story even more interesting: The pleasure of seeing a good joke result in all its glory...4*

try and maintain a decent outlook on the iron pyrite TK U MLJ LV NV

And I read a lot of stories, hoping to write myself. This is a nice story with basically kind characters. Easy to identify with them. Fascinating to me how your protagonist(s) got revenge and burned Denise without losing her as a person. I might hurt both the cheaters, even though Justin was more of a betrayer, but I accept that you did it better than I would. As another thought, I think your writing is great. Lots of plot. If I wrote this story I might include a prequel, introducing the people who will be characters and motivating Denise. I'd try to answer the question "Why with Jeff?"

Just the "revenge" part was a bit puerile.

Their is a big difference between being a nice guy to being a wimp. He was a wimp.

Great story. Not everyone enjoys scorched earth stories.

Another male fantasy. He gets the beautiful woman. He has such good friends they help him get rid of the cheating slut. He is such a nice guy after he tricks her out of the marriage he throws her a bone. His long time unrequited love steps forward and we have a happy ending - a rich man with lots of luck who is also a great guy. SURE.

Only thing sicker than these type of stories are the readers who like them.

Are you all just gay women haters??

Was he a Wimp Ass Castrated Cuckold. I would say no overall. He did take action action after finding out he was a cuckold. But, he folded completely to ensure the ex's happiness and made her a star and very rich. She actually came out of this better because of him than she did in the marriage. There is a major difference between being a "nice guy" and a Door Mat or a complete push over. Sorry in my humble view the Wife Won and the Husband Lost. She was correct to have no love or repsect for him, from the comments not many of us readers did. Excellent writing you are one of the best new writers around and I'm a fan

He admitted that he was not emotionally invested in his marriage. Neither spouse loved the other. That made the pain and ensuing drama far less dramatic. It enabled to not be jealous as he didn't really give a fuck. He was rich. His buddies pulled a very childish prank on his ex, for no apparent reason. It was a lot of effort for very little reward. Having the true love waiting in the wings made it even less painful. By having no real emotions, the reader was left without much concern.

Overall, liked this. I wasn't sure why it needed a third part, but it worked.

As for "finding his soulmate so quickly", it really WASN'T so quickly, he just suddenly realized she was there all along!

I have both positive and negative feelings about her lack of love. On the negative side, she NEVER did love him,the gold digging bitch! On the other hand NEITHER really loved the other, as he said (I think it was him, or one of his friends), he basically had a high-class call girl for a year.

I can't decide if the fact that she never loved him made the cheating any better or not. They WERE married, so it is still cheating, but somewhere in the back of my mind it doesn't seem as bad as it would be if she had ever loved him.

I'm not comfortable with Justin being ruined and her being helped, HE never vowed to be faithful, SHE did! We're never shown how they got together, so we don';t know who seduced whom, but even if he was the seducer, she had the obligation to refuse his seduction.

It's a minor point, but it was never mentioned if the hiring of Justin was before or after the affair started.

Nit pick: She said she was "just cast" in a series with good reviews. If she was "just cast" they wouldn't even have begun shooting yet, let alone have anything to be reviewed. Better would be, "I was cast......", and "It and I are getting.....".

Where do you get "women haters"?

He actually helped out, and apparently is on a friendly basis, with his cheating ex.

He is happily married to his long-time friend.

Man, hate me like that, please!

A good read and a reasonable ending. I do like both BTB and reconciliation, as I think the later is hard to write about. Sire Denise needed some retribution, perhaps instesd of Jeff giving tapes to an agent and $25,000 in her bank account.

He could have struck a deal with her for sleep overs at her new apartment, anal sex, BJ and he will give her $500 for the services !

Thenafter a while he could have done the tapes to the agent.

That is a fair exchange!

Harsh I know, however she has a chance to win him back and work on being a better person.

Just going to pick at a nit instead of deeply analyzing the story. Having moved recently, it is just about physically impossible to completely clear out a house in a few hours. With lots of stuff already boxed, it took a crew of eight men over six hours to clear our home and it was far from a seventeen room mini-mansion. I see this device used in a number of stories and while it sounds great...........

That said, a nice story with a happy ending, but it just didn't seem to have an emotional appeal. Kind of on the surface of things at least for me.

A BTB story that was not bent on evil revenge. A good read.... overall I found it to be one of the better stories in the LW section. It seems to be original. Not like most stories that seem to come from the LW cookie cutter.

Keep writing.

Factually Mostley wrong. But a feel good story none the less. Jeff and Jan live happily ever after?

I really like getting way the author ended this well-written series. The practical jokers got their way and extracted an appropriate amount of angst from the perp and the slut wife, but the husband took the high road and addressed the issues that led her to behave as she did and left her set up for ultimate success (after she learned her lesson). Very nice.

Reads like an outline. At least Google the expressions you don't normally use.

there is no evidence that anyone is any smarter, or a better person. Jeff finally got a good woman who is loving and loyal, but that is pure luck. Jeff is no smarter than he ever was about women. Denise now has good job prospects, but why should we think she is any less greedy, unprincipled, and manipulative? I wouldn't be surprised if Denise uses her rejuvenated relationship with Jeff to her own advantage when some day in the future her acting career eventually (and they all do) dries up. If Denise hasn't latched onto a new sugar daddy by that time I'm sure she'll play on Jeff's sympathy for help. And you can be damn sure Denise will Never sign another prenup!

Thanks for an entertaining if simplistic story. It was a fun read, mostly.

An ok story, told by a 6 year old.

I criticized your second chapter, suggesting fraud which made it impossible for him to get out of paying her. In this chapter you deftly got around that, and though this is truly a fairy tale, you deserve a five star rating for that alone. Also, you managed to tell a cheating wife story with at least some plausibility where everyone lives happily ever after.

The Ending Esp. guys Revenge on her and Justin. They out did themselves.

The Whole set-up was a Grand Finale. and for him & Jan to admit they had taken too long to admit they loved each other was Grand.

a 5

this was the "coup de gras" lol

story written by a little kid. does your mommy know you are here?

A lovelly mix of revenge and humor, even a happy end. This story is a lot more then BTB.

1) You created a real character in Jan, when she a) regretted her choice NOT to pursue Jeff and that she was protective but wished him happiness in his wedded bliss. She was the only person who had a clear personality, motivations and inner conflict. Hence the only character in the story.

2) I liked Jeff's phlegmatic attitude. "Hey, for the last year, my life has been significantly better than yours so, yeah, I got conned but money means nothing and I was banging a number 8 hottie like a drum endlessly. So there!" Reason and self control. I would have liked it even more if he had acknowledged that this woman had actually, in some ways, been GOOD for him. My married life has had a lot of ups and downs, but I know that my wife has made me grow in ways I did not anticipate because of that familial friction.

Checking, checking. Yep, that is pretty much it on the stuff I liked. It was a caper story, so was supposed to be whimsical so I tried (and failed) to turn my brain off, for this story.

Some of the commenters told you it was a good read. They actually mean that they enjoyed the story. The writing leaves a lot of work to be done.

1) TELL THE FUCKING STORY ONCE! More than once, you told us the exact same thing MULTIPLE TIMES. For example, Jeff discovers his wife is a cheating whore. You SHOWED us (one of the few times you SHOWED something...more on that later) Then his friends asked what happened to him...and he TOLD us the exact same story! WHY? The only reason to do this is if he left out significant details, lied, or someone in his narrative flow interrupts to make a good point. None of this happened here.

2) You removed all excitement from the story by doing a third person narration which revealed all future events. No drama. She was a cheater. You told us she was a cheater. Every concern, suspicion or bit of drama was sucked out of the story as you spoon fed every bit of information. "Don't panic! She's no who she says she is. I am telling you now so you don't die of the vapors when the reveal comes..." This is condescending and ruins the story. Obviously a story in loving wives will (most likely) have a cheater in it. But you took this to a whole new level.

3) Everything happened by exposition. This removes the 'punch' of seeing a story happen in real time.

4) That whole 'show don't tell', which relates to the expository style.

5) Learn to use quotation marks properly. Some small number of incorrect words or misspelled words. Not a big deal but your grammar needs work.

6) A cheap cut. You go in loving detail about suit stolen, beaches raked, barrels moved (and told us...and told us...and had the characters dwell on it...again...and again...and again) ...but then we get 'Oh yeah...that other guy...He got bankrupt and destroyed. I saw to that." HOW?????

It wasn't the worst story I have read. But it needs a lot of work to bring it to the next step. Try Ohio's style of writing in the now with some proper cuts of exposition.

writer...i hope you burn in hell with all the other "we can all be friends" women.

Anyone who supports this type of trash "no center writing should burn in hell, death pain and suffering to all the nice white knights and death to their offspring.

Why does evil flourish, because the west if full a pussy white men now with no moral character, better to just go along, niggers want to be slaves, Jews rule all, and we live in a rapist state.

Oh yeah he showed her not to fuck with another's heart and soul, fem-male writers need to be wiper out.

Jeff's character is far more evil than she ever was.

This was an OK story but the writing and evolution of the full story needs a lot of work. My suggestion is to read the review and suggestions by FD45 as he hit the nail on the head.

Tiny Tim

Wonderful story. I can't wait to read more by you.

Had the story got any sweeter we would need a shot of Insulin!! Ha! Ha! Thanks for sharing

Could have been 5***** until you gave the cheating cunt more than she deserved at the end... Rewarding her just made her a big winner with undeserved spoils.....

These stories are supposed to be entertainment, right? I am all for realism in a story, and when a skilled writer such as Steve Lee makes his characters nicer than they would be in real life without making them too far-fetched, I find that heartening as well as entertaining. If you want to read about unpleasant people treating each other nastily, there is plenty of choice on here of stories which fit that bill. This writer does it different - good for him.

I gave 4 stars for chs 1 and 2, and 5 stars for ch 3.

Right on target

but the long hard climb back should prove the picture TK U MLJ LV NV

That was quite a fantastical story.

Apart from all the laws that he broke and could not have got away with in the real world the author could not even be bothered to keep the wife's name the same during the telling.

Obviously this goes down well with a certain section of readers but when a supposed story that happens in the real world could not be less realistic if Unicorns were involved then there really is no point to it.

2* and that is being generous.

Are WACC in the end.

He was hurt because of ego ? Betrayal and degradation doesn't hurt unless you have a big ego ?

illiterate cuck shit.

The story wound me up , then unsnarled and finally settled for being cute and entertaining. But I think the author sold himself short. I admire and am a bit spooked by how well the majority of my qualms from previous installment were anticipated and adressed. He gets five stars , but is underachieving. The class system issue was a prop for this dramady'. Could have been HOF. Oh welllll.

Full marks * * * * *

The last chapter pulled this story out of a disastrous crash into a pretty good ending.

still a wimp, may have more money than god, but if you are still nice to others even though they treat you like shit. expect to be a personal doormat your whole life. Story was good, btb was done playfully and was fun to read. not over the top. at the end even threw the cheater a life line and now she has the opportunity to fuck her way into the best acting roles. I kid on that last sentence, maybe shes a good person now. Maybe

Never happy with the juvenile tricks they played on her but he did the right thing in the end.

A well written and interesting story. To those giving you low scores, I would say, write your own story and you can have it your way. You probably won't because you don't have the talent and your ego couldn't stand the criticism. I personally like a little more tantalizing sex but in all, it was a good read. Since I can't give it a four plus I'm giving it a five!

Poorly plotted and the characters are one-dimensional.

And what the hell is your obsession with exclamation points? You use them entirely too much and not in appropriate ways.

Take a look at two comments immediately preceding mine

Anonymous - ''poorly written''

ezrollin - no title - but sings your praises

Find the situation humorous, two people read and comment on same story and have 180 degrees assessment!

Just for anon

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!

HE SHOULD HAVE KNOCKED HER UP AND FUCKED HER IN THE ASS. AGAIN. And that's the name of that tune.

Not bad but some of the story was too dragged out.

I pretended that Mr. Nice Guy wanted some interest on his investment so he had her give him one of her fabulous blow jobs before he fucked her again, got her pregnant and then fucked her in the ass, too. I gave it five stars

A fairly well-written tale of a gullible man, a gold digging wife and a group of very smart overgrown children unraveling their marriage. No really unpleasant characters and a civilised ending, but I found the pranks a tad childish and there was a bit too much unnecessary verbiage that neither expanded the plot nor filled out the characters. Not great but a decent read.

LA

Well, this story, at least this chapter-the only one I read-seems to be the anti-type to every extreme. But there was one thing that somebody whose name has an x in it mentioned which didn't depart from the typical types. I don't know the story of Justin, but burning him seems like a plot point that was thrown in there without any thought, since thought would have come up with something similarly creative to the rest of the story.

I thought this line was a bit amusing: "I...I don't love him, but I like him and I've really come to respect him. I can't believe that he would do this to me!" Especially the stutter. I would definitely have written it like that had I the opportunity, which is probably actually not a positive thing.

Well, there's issues there. This line is a lie. Respect is an affection based on someone's achievements, abilities, or qualities. I guess she only respected the money and nothing personal. And she said that later. So, which is it? But it's ok for characters to be confused.

Anyway, the recap of what just happened paragraphs ago was really unnecessary. Come on, are we really all that dumb? And the part where the friends were reminiscing was tediously boring. When people are together, I expect dialog. It wasn't clear what was actually happening or where. That's my fault for reading every fifth word, but good writing either compels you to go back and read, or makes sense as is.

When you're on a deserted island writing your memoirs, that's ok, but still quite appropriate to make dialog. That part is positively narcolepsy inducing, I had to just get to the epilogue, completionism be damned.

The story gets what many miss, and moreso by commenters. He got his jollies rocked for a year and managed to get out unscathed. He seems to be worth a lot of money, so $25,000.00 is hardly too soft. It's a bit much though. My axiom is to give enough to reduce the vengefulness, but not enough to be hung with. That amount violates that. It should be no more than the 1.25-2 times fee for a lawyer's retainer. And he should not have let her step in the house unless it was covered in security cameras.

On the positive side, not making a move until all elements are ready seems to be taken by many as some sort of weakness, but I couldn't disagree more. Planning takes time. It's inevitable. Being in an unacceptable situation until you're ready and prepared to leave is generally the best way to go, unless you'll never be ready...like being held captive in the basement, escaping with nothing is probably the only way someone less than James Bond will ever be able to leave. There are many ways to go, this one is the planned and orderly ordinary escape. JimBob44's Inferno has the main character burn down their house, lie to the cops saying he and his wife did it for the insurance money, get arrested, and implicate the wife and both end up in jail. That's also a perfectly acceptable exit if you'd prefer that.

And like someone complained something about it being fantasy. You get it. Any story not in non-erotic should generally fulfill one or more fantasies that are in the erotica category. Dumping the bitch unscathed and discovering your better mate, being rich, being smart, having good friends are all proper or appropriate peripheral fantasy elements.

The husband in this story was wimpy, wimpy, wimpy. In so many of LW stories, the husband is a weak ass wimp.

and have the dignity to understand and acknowledge it, TK U MLJ LV NV

all except this part: "Look, I don't hate her. I was humiliated, angry, hurt - but what was hurt was my ego..."

I'm actually sick to death of this shaming tactic. Ego...is...everything. I know a bunch of westerners, who become atheists because it's cool, decide to dive into eastern religion/philosophy like buddhism, taoism, and other such things without any classical training in them. They teach that an EXCESS of ego is bad, only a few fringe groups actually tell you let go of your ego. Maybe during meditation. Ego is the reason you get up in the morning. Ego is the value you give yourself and others. Makes them and your worth protecting and growing. So forgive me, but I have to rant. Too many people trivialize ego as some vice. It isn't. For men, ego is far more important. Men aren't born valuable to a society like a woman. He wont get to incubate a life. He has to EARN his place in society. His ego is all he has! Not only is it wrong to trivialize the ego, it's toxic.

If someone wrongs you, deeply wrongs you. If your time was wasted on them as they manipulated you. Yes, you have every right to be angry. Nothing to feel guilty about. That anger means you value yourself, and you valued them once upon a time. If we don't value ourselves, why bother? I became an atheist through sheer effort. I took it as seriously as I did being religious. I can't help but believe what I do, but I'm not going to abandon deep introspective thought. I'v seen countless atheist friends get lazy, and they have a malaise about them. The lose of ego hurts them. They tend to withdraw into a shell, maybe lash out at others at inappropriate times. Love your ego, cherish it, defend it, nourish it. Not an excess. An ego you can be proud of.

But the rest didn't live up to what the first chapter promised.

She was a real gold digger and she got what she deserved, but why was he so unwilling to let people know about a divorce in the first place? He wasn't portrayed as the kind of guy who is bothered about other people's opinions.

While reading the previous chapter I kept thinking that if I had that kind of money a gold digging wife like Denise, beautiful and willing and so on, might not be so bad! Minus the cheating of course!

Funnily enough that ended up being almost the same as Jeff's conclusion. I doubt his calmness at the end though, I think a man in such a position would be much more upset, even with some time to calm down.

The following doesn't mean I disagree with what happened to Denise! Let's keep that in mind! I disagree with the solutions chosen by the "geniuses".

The thing that annoyed me the most was what I see as poor understanding of the law. I'm not American but I can say with 99% certainty that the illegally obtained signature and the "sniper" divorce would have given him a shitload of legal trouble if Denise/Justin hadn't just rolled over like they did. Maybe he could have paid his way out of it, he is rich after all, but Denise would have ended up with much more than $25K. Though in retrospect she might have shot herself in the foot there because she now appears to have a promising acting career. Still, no one knew that at the time. Likewise gifts that she received while married would also be her personal property unless something else was explicitly stated. Now he was "generous" and "gave" it back to her.

Finally, how quickly does a divorce go through in Florida? It's not really stated here but the impression I got was 6-8 weeks or thereabouts, which seems mighty fast to me, and surely it would take at least some sort of interaction between the authorities and the wife? Otherwise we would see this kind of spiteful "divorce" often. It could then be tried by simply forging the wife's signature.

A "sniper" divorce was actually legal in Saudi Arabia till very recently, but now the new divorcee is notified via a text message (!) that her husband has divorced her (NB: AFTER the divorce is final!). Earlier he wasn't obliged to tell her... But I would expect better in the US.

Don should also tread VERY carefully here, as an officer of the court he could be badly burned if this ever came to out.

Work, loved the story.5

Pretty good story overall. Would have liked to have the burn on Denise stick. He burned Justin to the ground and Denise deserved no better.

I truly wish I had friends like this. The first trick with the two rooms was magnificent.

The brilliantly organised operation "confuse the betrayer" was worthy of the secret service.

The only change I would make is to the "forgivness" at the end! Burn the bitch as he did with the co-conspirator! She had all if not more than she deserved. Why be "nice"?

worked in porn

I wouldnt mind a marriage to a woman like Denise, so long as I was the only man to fuck her

Biggest plot hole is her stupidity - you failed to lay out WHY she was so stupid as to risk everything she ever wanted for sex with a guy she ultimately couldn't stand

Hell she could have legitimately insisted the pre nup be reciprocal vis a vie his cheating with harsher penalties than a 50/50 split for a lack of one

Why would you write a story about a weak willed pussy of a man? His response at the end totally negated all that his group had done to punish her. Not only that but her lack of punishment only ensures that she will continue to behave in a similar fashion in the future. THIS IS NOT BTB!!!

I enjoyed your story. The sting that they set up for Denise was just great. He wasn't a bad guy at all and Jan was a better fit anyway.

When first we practice to fuck over someone

The last two chapters were well worth the read. After skimming through the first chapter I almost didn't read the last two but I am glad that I did. Gave the last two chapters a 5 star.

You ruined a perfectly good story. No one would ever shield a cheating slut from a hard landing after all that she did.

I don’t understand - why the long summary towards the end? The readers know what happened and the friends do, too. Why would he give her $25,000 in addition to everything else? She is capable of working.

3 stars. He was overly soft for my taste.

Jeff is a wimp cucky boy, Jan needs to buy him a set of balls for their anniversary. Though I'm sure it's too late. Two stars...

Hallmark story!

Hahahaha!!! It's a work of FICTION you dolts! Everything worked out for everyone in this FICTIONAL universe! Why begrudge a non-existent female a measure of never-was forgiveness from an equally made-up husband because she cheated with a fictional lothario? I got my money's worth for the whole series!!! 5/5!!!

Sorry Legio, even in fiction the cheating, gold digger need to be totally destroyed. Scorched earth.

So the gold digger got what she wanted. Money and fame. Total crap.

You better than me. I wouldn't piss on my ex if he was on fire. I wouldn't of gave 2 fucks about this ex wife ended miserable and having to suck off her boss to keep her job🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️.. that whole relationship was fraudulent. He probably could've gotten it annulled. He was doing good but turned into a wimp cuck towards the end. Why would he care if the whore ended up happy? Fuck her and her happiness.

I liked it

5/5

A nice fairytale

Good story

At the end seeing the closing scene with his ex I went from 3 stars to 4. Nicely tied up, well done.

4 stars - thankfully, all these LW stories are fantasy fiction.

Yes, the 'joke' was waaaaaay over the top.

You lost three stars for taking it to the extreme.

Yet, you regained two stars for the final arrangements (apartment, car, cash) to help the silly SLUT.

It's good at times, to be magnanimous.

Ha! Nixrox. With him you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Hey I’m just yanking your chain nixrox. I also thought the ‘joke’ was a little over the top so I was somewhat glad to see him throw her a bone or two. I will admit though that that practical joke was something else. Very good story, SteveLee1146, thanks.

You need to remember the names of your characters. Diana morphed into Denise???