Gold Peony and The Sinuous Wife Ch. 03

"Who wasss ssshe?"

"What?"

"The woman who hurt you? What wasss her name?"

Helen hesitated. She knew not how this woman could know her old pain. The hurt named, "Chunhua."

"Chunhua," Jin mused. "A good name. I knew a woman named Chunhua once, long ago. A good woman from a good family. Not ssso well ssserved by her husband though, but her sonsss and grandsonsss were very sssuccessful. One of them even became emperor."

Helen could not help but marvel, listening to this woman talk of spells and emperors. Her words would sound mad if not for her own transformation.

"You mussst have loved her deeply for her to hurt you ssso."

What did she mean? "What do you mean?"

"You are missserable, ssspiteful, hateful, and oh ssso sssuperior, and yet you let a woman clossse enough to give you the pleasssure only a woman can give. A daughter of China nonethelesss. Believe me, I've known hurt like yoursss many timesss over."

How could she know? "We were... intimate... it... wasss... complicated."

"Of course it wasss complicated. You're a ssspoiled, arrogant, Englisssh, round-eye bitch and ssshe wasss, what? Sssome ssservant who had to pick up your leavingsss?"

Helen hissed at that, Jin tensed. The war looked about to restart for a few dangerous seconds. Jin's barb angered Helen. How dare this chi... woman speak to her with such insolence! Presumptuous! Doesn't know her place! Decadent, perverted chink! "No, Mother."

"What did you sssay?" Jin's face was questioning.

Helen blinked, "Uh, nothing." The tension retreated, and the silence returned for a second, then Helen spoke, "Chunhua wasss... more than a ssservant."

"I sssussspect ssso."

Chunua and Helen on the hillside, in the tall grass, looking at the clouds, dreaming of the faces in the spring sky.

"You're thinking of her. It isss a happy thought."

Helen didn't quite realize her faint smile.

"You don't sssmile often," Jin noted.

"No... I don't. You ssseem to be very perceptive," Helen said without sarcasm.

"I read people like booksss. It takesss yearsss to acquire the ssskill. I can peer into mindsss but it'sss too much trouble. You, you're not a happy woman. I read you asss a typical arrogant round-eye but I forgot to read between the linesss. My... anger blinded me, I sssussspect."

The silence settled again. Helen and Jin sat, one or the other would shift her coils. Something imperceptible had changed. The fiery hatred between them was, for the moment, cooled to a low suspicion. It could reignite at any moment, the two women silently acknowledged.

"Ssso, are we going to fight again?"

"Maybe," Jin replied, "I don't feel like it at the moment."

"My husssband and your employer will be back soon. They can't sssee usss like thisss."

"It will be longer than they think. The Dragonsss are very prickly about ssschedulesss and delaysss. Johnny Cheng'sss a fassst talker, though. Oily little ssshit."

"Ha! You could sssay the sssame about my husssband. Well, not little at leassst."

Jin found herself mildly, but genuinely, pleased to see Helen's snark directed at someone other than her. "Ssso why marry him?"

"Money and boredom. He wasss rich, I wasss poor. He wasss handsssome, I wanted excitement. The arrangement benefited both of usss."

"You are well-refined and educated for a poor girl," Jin smiled.

My father wasss a baronet, my mother'sss father wasss an earl. Pembroke, I think. Father wasss chief of finance at the Bank of Ssshanghai. We lossst everything to the Japanessse."

"Japsss," Jin spat.

Helen smiled; however she felt, she couldn't say hated, about Jin, (What do I feel about her? Will I feel something in a minute? In five minutes?) the two women did have a mutual hate in the Japanese.

"Why sssell opium?"

"What?"

"Why do you sssell opium? Your ssstore ssseemsss to do fine. I sssaw sssome near pricelesss antiquesss. Um, not pricelesss anymore, I sssussspect."

Jin nearly chuckled, Humor, she has humor. "I don't sssell opium. Johnny Cheng doesss. He usssesss thisss ssstore asss a front. I'll make him sssuffer for that. I dessspissse opium."

Just an hour ago, Helen would make a cruel retort. She was Chinese; opium poured out of that country. Who could trust her words? Why should I trust you, round-eye? Chunhua's bitter, betrayed face swam before her eyes.

"Won't informing on your employer make thingsss difficult?"

Is she concerned for me? We were trying to kill each other just an hour ago! "He isss not my employer. He'sss my employee. This isss not the only guissse I wear."

"Oh, ssso you're Madame Wu. I sssaw a few of your ssstoresss on my way to thisss one."

"Madame Wu'sss a convenient name for me. Ssso what about you round-eye? What'sss the deal with your husssband? He took sssome money from hisss Dad, I heard."

"Heh, the bloody fool likesss to gamble; cardsss, horsssesss, crap tablesss, busssinesss, anything with money in it, he betsss. He likesss the risssk more than anything. Irresssponsssible ssshite.," Helen stopped for a second. The crude term went counter to her breeding but, she admitted, was apt for her husband's many faults.

"He made a bad deal on a movie. Sssome bloody anti-commie trasssh. Thought it wasss a 'sssure thing,' he sssaid, becaussse everyone hatesss Redsss. The producer wasss a huckssster, asss the Yanksss call it. He made the movie for penniesss, took the ressst and ran. The main ssstar wasss on the blacklissst to boot. The movie barely cracked $100. My 'dear, darling husssband' sssnuck sssome money from hisss Dad'sss company to help finance the thing. Now he hasss to cover the embezzlement before hisss Dad findsss out. Old man Morgan knowsss, I sssussspect. Nothing getsss passst him. Bloody idiot."

"Many men are foolsss. More than a few women too. It alwaysss comesss down to money or love or both. I've known a few in my day, men and women, who were honorable, but I've ssseen more than my ssshare of betrayal. Done more than my ssshare too. I know the face of betrayal. You have that look, round-eye. I wasss too angry to notice it before. The quessstion isss, are you the betrayer or the betrayed?"

"I never ssslept around on him, if that isss what you mean, 'sniff.' He'sss dipped hisss wick in other girlsss pursssesss, heh! I'd divorce him if it weren't for hisss father. Once he diesss, I can get a larger payday in alimony. I could drain him on the adultery alone, but I have sssome picturesss of him in Vegasss that'll keep me comfortable for life."

Jin couldn't help but smile at Helen's mercantilism. She'd played similar tricks on more than a few princes and noblemen, so she couldn't exactly call the kettle black.

"But there isss sssomething elssse isssn't there, round-eye."

"What do you mean?"

"A woman'sss passst isss written in her flesssh. The betrayal on your face isss an old one. I do not sssee it when you ssspeak of your husssband. You don't love him, ssso hisss infidelity doesssn't hurt. Your hurt comesss from sssomplace elssse but I can't tell if you're the victim or the perpetrator... or maybe it'sss both round-eye?" Jin cocked her eyebrow.

"Hisss!" No one had penetrated Helen's old wound so deep before.

Jin shifted her coils. She might attack to cover the pain. I'll have to be careful. When she spoke, her tone softened, "Loversss betray. It'sss been done for millennia. You are not the firssst, you won't be the lassst."

"It... doesssn't make the pain any lesss," Helen replied.

"No, it doesssn't. I think it dependsss on who hurt the other more."

Helen blushed at that. Whether from embarrassment, guilt, anger, or varying combinations of all three, Jin could not tell. The words are muddled, but becoming clearer.

Helen stirred her coils restlessly, "I... might have... hurt her more."

"'Might have' round-eye? Your pain isss sssolid. 'Might have' isss insssubstantial."

"The sssubstance isss... too much, I think."

"The Christiansss sssay confesssion isss good for the sssoul. Your sssoul isss scarred. Perhapsss it isss time to heal it."

"You're not a priessst, and I'm no bloody Catholic."

"One could sssay I am fairly clossse to a priessst, albeit my dissscipline wasss old when your Abraham wasss a child in the desssert."

"I'm not Jewisssh either."

"But he ssstarted everything, did he not?"

"We're digresssing."

"Are we? Or isss it jussst you?"

Helen opened her mouth, to say what, she didn't know. Instead a soft, uncertain hiss, with a flick of her tongue seeped out.

"You'll have to sssay it to begin," Jin whispered.

It peaked; the cold, hard festering boil she'd kept inside her soul since that day. The rot of her crime, her sin, against Chunhua, against herself, that hollowed her out into a beautiful, empty shell.

The burst dam manifested in a single tear, and three words.

"I... hurt her."

To Be Continued.