by x and x
The one long paragraph had all the sex in it which I enjoyed; but its always hotter if it is "I" rather than "he" and "she"
You could be really good if you could get the reader involved
Great job!
I really enjoyed this! The charachters are beleivable and likeable, and the vivid sex-----well--lets say very 'UP-lifting'
Keep up the wonderful work!