by BrettJ
The overall writing was well done. The dialog flowed well as did the story. I was disappointed only by the speed of everything. He seemed to only question this stranger on his doorstep once?(granted she wasn't a complete stranger... but a stranger just the same)
I read the other BDSM story first and perhaps that is my pitfall. That and I see the other comments are from men, so perhaps as a woman I am seeing this in my eyes, and not in the eyes you meant it to be seen.
The other BDSM... A Submissive Journey was WOW, and as a woman, I felt the pull of the characters. This one left me disliking them both.
As far as writing style and description and bringing the reader into the story, that I see and felt, and that is what makes a story in the end.
Red
This in a fun story, somewhat believeable in it's execution, and it's nice to have the guy accept this wild woman's presense in his shattered life so readily.
Who wouldn't? What a character he's created.
You can visualize the sexy little woman in her provocative outfit very well; always good to read someone who knows how to paint a scene. The writer does a good job of detailing her need, though I would have liked to have more detail here.
Fun read!
AL
it reminds me of finding my slave. not only did i enjoy the story but it brought back memories of the first night i took her and how willing she was to please me no matter what i demanded of her. it also made me think of the day i took her to the store and bought her the first collar she ever wore and how proud she was of it.
My kind of BDSM story! Hope you keep this story going as I will look forward to future chapters.
The story's premise and conclusion are fine, but I find her "birthday present" and his acceptance of her submission so quickly a bit off-putting. More development of their relationship would help.
Definately a stroker story of the first magnitude. Thank You. Ronnie W.