All Comments on 'Gotta Pay the Piper Ch. 15'

Oh boy, looks like some fun is going to go down now. I'm about 50/50 on Lenore just becoming a submissive slut or fighting her conditioning and showing them who's the boss, or the Boss's girlfriend. Joanna and Robin's attitude hopeful has changed but i doubt it. Those are too hard headed females.

Cheers

This chapter was outstanding and presents a whole bunch of new sexy roles for some of the fun characters. Loved It. So looking forward to where this one goes. Great storytelling keep it going. Cheers

I hope Lenore has some spine now. It will make her and Bas's relationship suffer if she falls. Maybe he steps in and dominates her? Good read as always.

I enjoyed reading about Sherrie and Lenore, but I would have also liked to hear Joanne's and Robin's take on Lenore's weakness. I can't wait hearing if Lenore will face her demons or not.

More.

On target totally five stars. Have to wonder how Lenore handles sherri and the trio.

Half this chapter is just a copy and paste of what was already said in a previous chapter. Could have just been summarized. I skipped over most of it, which is something I've NEVER done before with a GamlnLuck chapter. Disappointing.

I for one am happy to have Lenore in this story. I don't expect her to have an easy time, but hope she will be able to grow and overcome her conditioning. Of course she isn't perfect, and might stumble, but that helps make the story interesting.

I kind of regard Lenore as "Kat redemption". Both have similar problems, but Kat (perhaps written into a corner) in her current situation is unlikely to be able to grow much (which is why she almost disappeared in later Slave Camp stories). But I thought the setup was interesting, and seeing it happen with Lenore is one of the reasons I like her character.

What's up with Clarice "being the boss" at work? That seems very different from the way other slaves get treated. Rhonda and Miriam both lost people manager aspects of their job (seemingly as a matter of course). Of course there has been no mention of a formal law. Just curious if you had a change of mind about the world, or if Clarice's situation is unique?

@Leifson

Kat was intended to be a significant player for a number of chapters and then fall into the background. She was the catalyst that got Cheryl enslaved when she had sex with Cheryl's husband. Then was weak and allowed her mother to abuse Cheryl. That was mechanism to bring out the issue of slave abuse.

In many slave stories, slaves have no recourse. Some even have the slave tortured for kicks. I wanted a system where although the latitude of a slave owner was great, there were still some restrictions.

I wanted Kat to have a submissive nature so there was a reason Derek could own both her and mother. That lead to her mother, Lisa, being upset and how Kat could get punished, like out in the field in front of a work crew. After that, I was not really sure what to do with her. So I had he joined at the hip with Cheryl for a time for them to learn to get along. Once they reconciled, I mentioned them being an item and then pretty much made them part of the background.

Lenore's character is a little different. I introduced her in Slave Camp with a backstory to tie together some of the others. Being a free woman posing as a slave, she could always strike out on her own.

I had to come up with a way to get her off the Hacienda. Derek buying Bas's ammunition, meeting Lou and Wanda seemed an easy transit to have Bas need an accountant to get his finances in order. Hence Lenore.

But she still has her private issues. On one hand she now wants to be in charge of her destiny but she has a past and hidden (maybe not so hidden) submissive nature.

No complaints honestly, just observing the similarities and differences between two characters. The "similarities" were that both Kat and Lenore acted out, and were dominated by their mothers as a means of control. But of course there are some big differences too, most obviously Kat's cheating and slave abuse (unless Lenore's has hidden land-minds of her own somewhere in the past). But (here is where the plotting part comes in) Lenore seems to seriously want to change, and with Kat this does not seem practical -- but clearly Kat's situation as a long time slave will make any move away from submissiveness really difficult (justify and write). It is much easier to root for Lenore (probably by your intention), and I am glad you found a way to get her off the Hacienda and tell more of her story.

Your mention of wanting to explore protections against Slave Abuse is a good excuse to talk about your aspirations for the series. You mentioned in the author's notes (and is obvious from some of the stories themselves) that you wanted to avoid some of the more unrealistic aspects of the "judicial slavery" stores. Your desire to make it follow reality a little closer, is why I bothered to mention small issues like the problem with slave collars and power-outages. I like the detail of having the Slave Mart staying open late (because LOL apparently power-chargers are not included with a multi-thousand dollar slave purchase; although from a more serious perspective many of the people selling at the private sale probably didn't know or care much about keeping slaves when they are trying to get rid of them).

Not to over analyze the authors of this particular small genera, but it is apparent that the authors had different agendas. For example while Joe Doe is technically a fine author with interesting plots; but his story goals seem more like tragedies; tales of corruption and self-failure leading to downfall. Reality is not a goal. And unfortunately, for my reading preferences, neither is empathetic characters (is there even one likable person in Slave Yoga?). Carl Bedford by contrast writes pretty much in the same world, but almost always has some empathetic characters (even some who really shouldn't be), and usually has redemption/growth arc.

As for your writing, I like the ares you have found to expound upon, like the societal issue of dealing with slave abuse. But what really made you stories grow from earlier 4's, to later Slave Camp into 5 star material for me, is the characters and the sense of place. I know you didn't carefully plot everything out in the beginning, but I liked how it grew. Cheers...