Grandma's Christmas Secret

"Oh, Cap, that's sad!" Lindy said. "I mean, I guess it's not sad now that it's not going to happen, but I'm so sorry you felt that way for so long!"

"I've been through worse," Cap said. "But look here, it doesn't matter now. I'm really glad we're going, no matter what Jimmy thinks of it, and --"

"Jimmy?" Lindy asked. "Oh, no, Cap, he hasn't been bugging you about me, has he?"

"Let's just say I've been very careful about when I go to the bathroom," Cap said. "He's got a big mouth but he hasn't cornered me yet."

"I'm so sorry!" Lindy said. "But then, that's all the more reason to show him, isn't it?"

"Sounds great," Cap agreed. "Oh, I hear Teddy's is open late tomorrow night if you want to go get a malt or something afterward."

"Well, we could," Lindy said, her heart racing. "But I was thinking..."

"Your folks want you home?" Cap guessed. "That's fine, too. Whatever your dad says, I understand."

"No!" Lindy laughed through her frustration. But by then they'd reached her house and she didn't dare speak her mind.

"Oh, well, if there is time, then, Teddy's?" Cap asked.

Lindy looked up the walk at her front door. No sign of Mother, but it was much too risky. "Sure, if we feel like it then," she said. "Let's wait and see?"

"Great!" Cap lingered at the foot of the walkway. "I'd better get home. I want to get all my homework out of the way tonight so it won't be on my mind tomorrow."

"I think I can see to it that homework isn't on your mind tomorrow," Lindy said in a sultry whisper, and she kissed Cap on the lips.

Cap hugged her. "What homework?" he quipped.

"There you go!" Lindy laughed. "Tomorrow, eight o'clock!" She longed to invite him in for a snack, but he gave every indication of wanting to go get started on those studies.

Saturday dawned grey and stormy, and Lindy was just about resigned to a rainy prom night when the sun finally came out at midafternoon. Having followed Cap's lead to keep her mind off the weather, she also had her homework out of the way and was free to focus on a bigger challenge: where to hide the rubbers, and how to let Cap know she was ready to go all the way? It didn't take long to conclude that they fit discreetly enough in her purse, which she could simply leave in the car for the dance. Should she simply pull one out and hand it to him? The more she thought of that, the more she liked it.

But she was still casting about for a better idea, and failing to think of any, by the time she was dressed and ready that evening. Mother was taking pictures of her in the backyard when Father appeared in the kitchen doorway with Cap in tow. "Melinda, you have a visitor," he said.

"Looks like I didn't quite get the right shade of blue..." Cap looked down uncertainly at the corsage, which Lindy couldn't see yet in its box.

Mother laughed. "Oh, Cap, I'm sure it's beautiful! Now come over here and let's get some pictures!"

She was right, it was beautiful, if a shade or two darker than Lindy's dress. The photo session with her parents proved mercifully short, and Lindy could only guess her father had already had his man-to-man talk with Cap in the house. So no one was the wiser when she grabbed up her purse from the living room couch on their way out the front door. "Going to your place for some pictures too, are you?" Mother asked as they stepped outside.

"Oh, yeah, I guess so," Cap said. "It's on the way to the union hall anyway."

"Have fun, guys," Father added.

As soon as they were alone, Lindy said, "Good move, not letting them know the truth about your parents. I wouldn't want them getting all suspicious!"

"What about my parents?" Cap asked as he opened the passenger side door for Lindy.

"That they're out of town!"

"Oh! Right. Yeah, I wouldn't want them thinking we were getting up to no good after the dance, would I?"

Lindy bit the bullet while Cap was walking around the car. When he got to the driver's side door, she had her surprise at the ready. A soon as he'd shut the door, she said, "You know, Cap, if you really do want to get up to no good..." She pulled one of the foil squares out of her purse and grinned at him.

"Lindy!" Cap dropped the car keys on the floor and had to reach down to find them. "I...I don't know..." He fumbled with the keys and finally got the right one in the ignition.

"Don't expect me to believe you haven't thought about it, Cap," Lindy said, smiling through her disappointment that he hadn't reacted with the delight she'd anticipated. "We're adults now, aren't we?"

"Well...I mean....yes!" He had the car in gear and had to keep his eyes on the road, so Lindy couldn't read his expression. "But, well, first of all, where?"

"Is someone else staying at your house?"

"I think so."

"You think so?"

"I mean, yeah. My grandmother's there."

Lindy knew a lie when she heard it. "Cap Donnelly, if you don't want to do it, that's fine. But can't you just say so?"

"I do want to! I think. I just...gee, Lindy!"

"You're nervous?" Lindy said. "That's all right. I am too, you know. But we love each other. It'll be all right, whatever happens."

"Thanks," Cap said. "Let's see how we feel after the dance?"

Of all the possible reactions Lindy had anticipated, this was not among them. But at least there was the prom to look forward to.

That certainly did not disappoint. The union hall was decked out in blue and white streamers, with a five-piece band already playing the first song of the evening when Lindy and Cap entered. One side of the hall was lined with a table decked out with an array of refreshments, while the other side offered chairs for the wallflowers. A dozen or more couples were already on the floor, and Lindy lost no time in pulling Cap along to join them. A round of hellos were exchanged with other couples, the incongruity of Lindy going steady with Cap having finally passed.

As usual, Cap led her effortlessly around the floor. Lindy forgot all about her earlier disappointment and enjoyed the envious looks they both got from the sidelines and the other dancers. When it was over, Denny Tompkins asked her for the next dance while Cap asked Denny's date, Joan Wilson, and they parted amicably with a promise for the last dance.

It seemed unlikely to Lindy that their paths wouldn't cross again until then. But when the next three songs found her with a partner before she could get anywhere near the sidelines -- and Cap proving just as popular with the girls thanks to his now-famous dancing skills -- it started to look like that just might happen. Lindy didn't mind that at all, for she'd decided she didn't want to think about her rebuffed invitation for now.

Only when the band took a break did Lindy get a chance to get some punch at the refreshments table. She looked around for Cap on the walk over but couldn't spot him. Lindy had never gone in for the idea that the guy had to serve everything anyway, and she more than happily helped herself to a glass of punch.

"So you really did bring that shrimp."

Lindy looked over her shoulder to see Jimmy smirking at her. "Hello, Jimmy," she said. "Never thought I'd see you in a suit."

"I always thought you would, tonight," he said. "Could've seen a lot more of me if you'd wanted to, you know."

Lindy felt her insides go awry. Cap wouldn't have told him of all people, would he? Of course not, she reminded herself; it was only Jimmy being Jimmy. She took a sip of her punch and turned to face him. "You know what, Jimmy? Tonight, I would've let you."

"Get out of town, you expect me to believe that?"

"Believe it or don't believe it, Jimmy. I've had enough of being someone else's idea of a good girl. I'm a woman now. No more kid stuff. But it won't be with you."

"Good God," Jimmy said. "No wonder Cap's had to keep you away from his folks."

"What?"

"Don't expect me to believe you didn't know!" Jimmy said. "The whole school does."

"Knows what?" Lindy feared she knew the answer already, though.

"Haven't you noticed Cap never brings you over to his place?" Jimmy asked.

"His parents always have other things to do," Lindy said. "It happens."

"Uh-uh," Jimmy said. "A little bird told his mother you're best friends with Ruth, and everybody knows what Ruth is. She told him to stay away from Ruth and you. She thinks Cap's going stag tonight."

Lindy tried to blink back the tears, but it was no use. "Jimmy, how could you lie like that? I'm sorry I hurt you before, but there's no excuse..." Her voice trailed away and she had to grab up a cocktail napkin to dab her eyes.

"It's no lie, Lindy," Jimmy said, refilling his punch glass. "Anyway, if you've decided you are that kind of girl after all, should've stuck with me. I could've taught you a lot more than little Cap'll ever know." Without another word, he spun on his heel and was gone.

Lindy made her way to the restroom to assess the damage the tears had done. When she got there, she saw they weren't gone yet. She washed her face, careful not to splash any water on her dress, and patted herself dry with a paper towel. As luck would have it, Ruth appeared at the next sink just as she was finishing. "Oh, no, Lindy, don't tell me Cap's ditched you!" she said.

"No," Lindy admitted. "Ruth, tell me..." She looked around and decided they needed more privacy. "Come outside with me a minute?"

"Sure, Lindy. But are you all right?"

"No."

Once they were outside, Lindy found a spot under the oak tree where there didn't seem to be anyone else around. As soon as they were there, she asked her friend, "Tell me the truth, please. Did you really decide you didn't need Cap's help with trig anymore?"

"Well, no," Ruth confessed. "You probably know what a prude his mother is. She told him he couldn't see me anymore. I'm sorry I lied to you about that, I was just so angry about it and I didn't want to take it out on you. But what's that got to do with..." All at once, she put two and two together. "Oh no, Lindy, she doesn't want him seeing you either?"

"That's what Jimmy just told me," Lindy said. "I figured it was just Jimmy being Jimmy. But then, I already figured out Cap lied about his parents being out of town, and he's never invited me to his house..." She swallowed hard and her eyes stayed dry this time, but she felt distraught and it showed.

Ruth hugged her. "I'm so sorry, Lindy! But that's her problem, not yours or Cap's. You are here with Cap, aren't you?"

Lindy nodded. "But right now I'm not sure if I want to be."

"Lindy, he was only trying to spare your feelings. Besides, you decided tonight was the big night, right?"

"That's another thing," Lindy said. "I asked him on the way here and..."

"Don't tell me he said no!"

"No, but he did his best not to answer at all."

For once, Ruth was speechless. "Wow," she finally said. "That's one reaction I've never run into."

"Gee, thanks!"

"Lindy, it's his loss! Besides, do you want your first time to be with someone who doesn't even want to do it?"

Lindy thought about it for a moment, and nodded. "You're right, Ruth. Come on, let's enjoy the rest of our prom."

Enjoy it she did. She danced with Cap three more times, smiling through her hurt so he had no idea what had happened. For the last dance of the evening, she let him kiss her and she did her best to enjoy the arms that had felt so good around her lately. By the time the lights came up, she was almost ready to accept that it was his mother's problem, not his.

Almost.

"Want to go to Teddy's?" he asked with that awkward grin she'd come to love so.

"Sure." She took his hand and they made their way out to the parking lot, saying goodnight to some friends and promising to see others at Teddy's. While other couples were kissing and hugging before they got back in their cars, Lindy simply got in the car as soon as Cap had unlocked it.

When he was also settled in the driver's seat, he turned on the radio and turned to face Lindy. "Listen, I'm sorry I was so standoffish before..." he began.

Lindy held her hand up. "Yes or no, Cap. Are your parents really out of town today or not?"

Cap hesitated, then answered, looking down rather than in her eyes. "No."

"Did you tell me they were because your mother doesn't approve of me?"

He still wouldn't look her in the eye. "Yes." Then he did look up at her. "But look, I don't care about that! I care about you!"

"Then why couldn't you tell me the truth?" Lindy demanded.

"Didn't want to hurt you! My mother's the prude, not me! I don't judge Ruth! And I love you!"

"But you lied to me!"

"Only because I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't know what else to do!"

"You must've had a good laugh at what I invited you to do before," Lindy grumbled. "Here your mother doesn't approve of me just because I'm friends with the town tramp, and then I go and offer you my virginity!"

"Lindy, haven't you got any secrets you keep even from me?" Cap asked.

Lindy's whimpering turned to laughter at once, and she crossed her legs tightly. Soon she was laughing uncontrollably.

"What is so funny?" But Cap laughed along, relieved.

"Yes, I've got a secret you don't know about. And if you had said yes before, you'd be learning it right about now!"

"You're a man under there?" Cap guessed.

Lindy shook her head and took Cap's hand and placed it on her breast. "Does that feel fake to you?"

"Good point," Cap admitted. "But...it's something sexual, I take it, your secret?"

"You could say that, yes," Lindy said. "Cap, I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable, but maybe it's just as well. Look, I see now why you didn't want me to know about your mom, all right? That was sweet of you, really. But clearly tonight just wasn't the right time for us to do it." She took his hand from her breast and kissed it. "But I still love you, okay? Do you still want that malt?"

"Almost as much as I want to know this secret of yours." But Cap pried no further as he started the car.

Once the shock was over with, Lindy's hurt receded quickly. Who cared what Cap's mother thought anyway? But she found herself a lot less prone to playing in her bedroom, and never propositioned Cap again. Their romance cooled off as the year came to an end, and when Cap was invited to a summer enrichment course in Chicago, Lindy was almost relieved.

Ruth had a hard time believing Lindy wasn't heartbroken. "You sure you're not just faking it?" she asked over cherry cokes at Teddy's a few days after Cap had left.

"Positive," Lindy said. "We had a good run there for a little while, but the prom...yeah, it just wasn't meant to be."

"I still feel guilty about that, sis," Ruth said.

"Don't, it's his mother who's the problem," Lindy said.

"And Cap himself for not being honest with you."

"No, we made peace about that," Lindy said. "We both had secrets we didn't want each other to know."

"Dare I ask what yours is?" Ruth asked.

Lindy laughed nervously. It was none of Ruth's business, but they were best friends and she had a hard time believing Ruth had never seen or hear of her secret. "Well..." Lindy said. "I can't recall, did we ever have gym together?"

"No." Ruth shook her head. "You had it third period, I had it sixth, freshman year. Then the other way around sophomore year."

"Oh, that's right," Lindy said, once again astounded that she had avoided ever being bullied over her giant bush.

"But what's that got to do...wait." Ruth's lips curled into a saucy grin. "Something about the way you look naked, then?"

Lindy nodded and smiled defiantly, feeling her face flush.

She was even feeling comfortable enough to tell Ruth just what the secret was. But before Ruth could ask, Jimmy appeared at their side. "Ladies!" he said. "Still coming here like high school kids?"

"You're here too, aren't you, Jimmy?" Lindy pointed out.

"He is still a high school kid," Ruth said. "Better luck passing senior year next time, Jimmy."

"Yeah, well, what else am I gonna do, join the army?" Jimmy said, helping himself to a seat beside Ruth because Lindy had strategically moved to the edge of her side of the booth and left him no room. "Actually, that's exactly what I'll do if I make it through next year. So why wouldn't I want another year of free education?"

"Just so you actually learn something this time around," Lindy said.

"I sure learned a lot from you, Lindy! Listen, that's why I'm here. I know you're both off to college pretty soon, and I'm hard up for a summer fling. How's about it for old time's sake, Lindy?"

"Are you kidding me?" Lindy shook her head in amazement.

"Cap hasn't even been gone a week yet..." Ruth concurred.

"But he is gone, and there ain't no men where you're going," Jimmy went on. "Ain't no brothers in the Seven Sisters, are there?"

"Right, Jimmy, how could a Harvard man compare to you?" Lindy said.

"Well, they're a smart bunch, aren't they?" Jimmy said. "Don't you want to learn a thing or two before you meet them?"

To Ruth's bewilderment, her old friend appeared to be seriously considering the offer. "Lindy, don't..."

But Lindy was thinking of the frustrating missed opportunity with Cap, who was likely now out of her life forever, and of her intimate secret. It would do her good to have at least one man see her body and not react like she was a freak...but then again, this was Jimmy and he quite possibly would react that way.

That settled it for Lindy, for the moment. "Tell you what, Jimmy," she said. "I'll be back for Christmas, and if I'm not dating anyone in Massachusetts by then, I'll ring in the holiday with you."

Jimmy nodded and smiled. "All right, doll, I'm worth waiting for." He started to slide out of the booth, then stopped halfway and looked at Ruth. "But in the meantime..."

"Forget it, Jimmy," Ruth said. "Even I have standards."

Jimmy laughed and didn't give either of them another look as he sauntered off to the dancefloor to seek out another girl.

"Lindy, that was brilliant!" Ruth said as soon as they were alone. "Let him eat his heart out until December, and then just tell him you're engaged to some blueblood whether you really are or not!"

"I don't expect to be," Lindy said. "And besides, I meant it."

"What?!"

Lindy grinned. "He does have a point. I don't want to be a babe in the woods when I do start dating out there, and I also don't want to marry the kind of jerk who'd only marry a virgin -- how often do you think they wait until they're married?"

"Not often, I know for a fact," Ruth acknowledged.

"And heaven knows I'll never have any feelings for Jimmy again. So why not learn a thing or two with him?" Then she burst into girlish giggles. "And break in my tight?"

Ruth laughed. "God, I created a monster with that word. But good for you if that's what you want, Lindy. And that reminds me, what's this deep, dark secret about your body?"

"It is deep and dark all right," Lindy said, patting her hair with a meaningful flair. "Dark brown."

"What, your...hair?" Ruth asked. "Down below? What about it?"

"Let's just see you'll never see me in a bikini," Lindy said.

"That's your big secret?" Ruth looked incredulous. "You have a hairy tight?"

"Spoken like someone who never stood out in the locker room," Lindy said.

"I guess." Ruth did not look convinced.

Lindy did not expect her to understand. But she did feel surprisingly good for having told her best friend.

Until Ruth spoke up again. "You know, Lindy, some guys love a big bush."

"Oh, my!" Lindy's sense of triumph vanished. "I'd never thought of that. Cap might be one of them and now I'll never know."

"Well, yeah, but he also might have been the opposite," Ruth pointed out. "Maybe he'd have found you disgusting, even..."

"Ruth, shut up!"

Lindy did part with Ruth on good terms when she headed east in August. By then the familiar urges had returned, albeit not as frequently as before the prom, and Lindy had the pleasant conundrum of how to satisfy them when she had a roommate. There were worse problems to have.