tagHumor & SatireGreen Cloud Diaries

Green Cloud Diaries

byJenny _S©

Lori wrapped a pink fluffy towel around her tingling, wet body and stepped out of the shower. The soft pile of the pink bath mat felt good between her toes as she wrapped a second towel around her wet hair.

She wiped the condensed steam off the mirror and looked at herself frowning. Not entirely ugly, she thought. But my butt is getting bigger every damned day. Shaking her head Lori opened the bathroom door and sat at the dressing table and began the long ritual of turning herself from Miss “I look okay” to Miss “Glamour” for her date.

The face staring back at her in the mirror looked hopeful if anything. “I can do it. I know I can this time,” she said to her reflection. Removing the cap from a bottle from among the twenty or so in front of her Lori began rubbing skin cleanser into her face and neck while her mind drifted to the events of the past few days.

The doctor she visited at first didn’t believe her when she told him about her problem. But she finally convinced him. He was full of ideas and advice. Eventually she walked out of his office with a strict diet, a lot of advice and a prescription that she immediately had filled at Walgreen’s on the way home.

She worked the blusher with sponges over her cheekbones as she thought about the evening to come. Lori knew Lance would show up at her door, flowers in hand, telling her how beautiful and alluring she looked. His dazzling smile always left her giddy, unable to even speak. Then she though of being in his arms, lips touching in the first tentative kiss. She hoped with all her preparations this date would not end tragically as the others had. She knew how to play the little seduction games, hands touching, inadvertently brushing her breasts against him. Keeping his interest turned up to high while she became wetter by the minute.

The ringing of he telephone broke Lori’s revelry. She picked it up, “Hello?”

“It’s Lance. Just want to make sure you are getting ready.”

“Oh yes, Lance. I’m so looking forward to tonight. I’m positively shaking with anticipation.”

“Good. I’ll see in about an hour then.”

Hurrying to finish the job on her face Lori added more blush to her cheeks, decided it was too much, blended it out. Lined her lips making the lower just a little larger than they really were then lipstick and gloss. Looking at her reflection she had to think she really did look good for thirty. The torture at the gym three times each week had paid off after all.

Then she held up the dress she’d bought yesterday. The color was perfect. The length was just an inch above the knees. She smiled at the thought of Lance’s hand sliding under the hem of the dress and over the top of her thigh-high nylons. As she rubbed her hard, tender, nipples she thought, I’ve got to stop this or I’ll never be ready in time.

But she was ready. The doorbell rang just as she was adjusting the double string of pearls so they fell seductively into her exposed cleavage. With a final quick look in the full-length mirror on the back of the bedroom door Lori went to greet Lance, stopping at the small kitchenette to double dose herself on the pills the doctor had given her.

As the door opened Lori began to feel a rumbling in her stomach. “Why, Lance. You’re right on time.”

Lance began to say something but was cut off by an unmistakable noise. BRRRRRAAAAAAAKKKKKKKPPHHHHH.

Lance took a step back. “What the fuck was that?”

Anxiously Lori looked around the room and spied a pillow with a can embroidered on the cover. “Oh, the cat. He’s been sick, Lance. Please excuse him.”

“The cat’s been sick? Sounded like something crawled up that fucker and died.”

“Well. He may be dead soon. Let’s go, shall we?”

The car ride was fairly short. Lance had reservations at a well-known Italian place on Division Street. As he pulled the car into the parking garage which during the day was a produce warehouse Lori’s stomach began to rumble again much less this time. Searching in her purse she pulled another pill from the bottle and swallowed it hopefully.

The short walk across the parking garage and up the three steps into the restaurant gave Lori a moment to collect herself. She took three very deep breaths and felt the rumbling in her stomach subside. The headwaiter seated Lance and Lori in the main dining room. Sitting directly behind Lori was a very large Italian-looking man with a bib around his neck eating a huge plate of spaghetti. He had an open bottle of red wine and a glass that he quaffed regularly as he stuffed the pasta into his mouth.

Lori let Lance, always the gentleman, order for her as they sat across from each other, looking into each other’s eyes, lit only by a candle burning on the table between them. Then it happened. Lori could feel it coming and could do nothing to stop it. She clenched the muscles in her butt cheeks so hard she thought they would burst under the strain. But still there was a long escape. FFFFFRRRRREEEEEEEEEPPPP.

In an attempt to cover up the faux pas Lori peered over her shoulder at the fat man for a moment and said to Lance, “Oh, how very rude!”

As the odorferisous cloud drifted upwards the candle glowed brighter and Lance’s nose began to wrinkle.

“Oh, Lori. This is so awful. How can they expect us to sit her an eat this THIS going on?”

For the moment, Lori’s stomach was calm. Thinking things might have gotten off track she began rubbing her foot against Lance’s ankle. “Oh, I know. And I always thought this was a nice place.” Lori peered deep into Lance’s eyes. She could tell her foot was having the expected affect because he reached out and began tracing the back of her hand with his finger.

“Say, I have an idea. Why don’t we go back to my apartment and I’ll cook for us. It’s no trouble and besides we won’t have to put up with…” Lori said nodding her head towards the fat man.

“Well. If it’s really no trouble, Lori,” Lance said with a smile. Taking her hand he led her out of the restaurant and back to the car. The drive was uneventful. It seemed that Lori’s stomach had begun to settle down considerably. At her door, she fumbled with her keys for a moment then the two of them were inside.

As the door closed Lance moved to take Lori in his arms. He stopped just for a moment and his lips touched her cheek. Lori’s arms went around Lance’s neck as their lips met in a long and lingering kiss. Lori’s stomach began to rumble.

Breaking away, Lori said, “Oh, Lance. That was nice. But I do have to powder my nose.” With a wink she ran to the bathroom, slammed the door, turned on the water in the sink and flushed he toilet just as another huge ripper broke. BRRRRAAAAAAPPPPP… sputter… sputter.

Humiliated and, at the same time relieved, Lori sat on the toilet for a moment. Her stomach did feel better. In fact, after this last eruption, it felt quite good. Maybe the pills are finally beginning to work she thought.

Lance was waiting for her in the living room. “Are you all right, Lori?” he asked.

“Oh yes, Lance. I’m fine.” Lori moved back into Lance’s arms. Again their lips met. Lance’s hands slowly began to explore Lori’s back then slid down farther to her ass. Lori’s nipples were rock hard against his chest. Her slit dripping, soaking her thong.

“Oh, God. I want you, Lori.”

“Yes, Lance. Take me.”

With her arms wrapped around his neck, Lance scooped her up in his arms and took her too the bedroom and laid her on the bed. His fingers trembled at the buttons of her blouse. Her’s ripping franticly at his belt. His mouth suckling at her nipples. Her hand wrapped around his cock stroking. Rushing in their passion, each needing the other.

Lance’s mouth moved down over her abdomen to her soft mound, waxed mound, his tongue buried in the fragrant wetness. He spread her labia wide and his fingers slide effortlessly deep into her pussy as his tongue found her throbbing clit.

Then unexpectedly, unwanted and without warning it happened again even greater than before. The stabbing paid in her abdomen nearly doubled her over as she fought desperately against the inevitable. Then with a sigh, knowing all was lost she finally relaxed. BRRRRRRAAAAPPPPPPPHHH.

Lori’s whole body stiffened from embarrassment, humiliation. This would end just like all the others. The shame of what had just happened tore at her heart.

“Oh, baby. Do that again. Fart’n babes turn me the fuck on!”

“Huh? What did you say?”

“Fart again, Lori. That was great.”

“It was?” Lori said wide-eyed and confused.

“Oh yeah, baby. Fart in my face. That makes me so fucking hot!”

“Wow. Really? Okay. Here goes.” Lori strained the muscles of her abdomen. Nothing happened. She strained harder. Still nothing happened.

“Come on, baby. I’m waiting. Give it to me.”

Fucking pills, Lori thought. Now they’re going to work.

Lance jumped up and ran to the kitchen. “Hey. What do you have in here?” he called. “No wait. This is perfect.”

Lori could hear Lance working in the kitchen. Dishes rattled. Then she heard the sound of the microwave.

Lance returned with a steaming bowl of chili. Lori ate ravenously. Followed by a tall can of beer and six hard-boiled eggs.


“Oh baby. Give it to me!” shouted Lance as his mouth dived into Lori’s dripping pussy.

Lori’s face reddened as she strained for the next gut blaster. What the hell, she thought. I guess there really is someone for everyone.

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byJenny _S© 0 comments/ 18085 views/ 0 favorites

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