All Comments on 'Grocery Store Girl Ch. 01-A'

I liked the face-to-face white hot energy they shared. I think they call that a tantric connection. All I know is the best sex is with your eyes open. You captured that feeling perfectly, I have never seen another author who could do that.

Very well done, looking forward to more.

Very predictable. Very well written. I would have preferred a condom, or at least an inquiry as to whether she was "on the pill"

Your story just goes to show that "age, experience and expertise will beat youth, speed and power every time"

Absolutely loved it! Can't wait to read more.

The revised edition is very good, hope to see more soon. Lots of potential for their story could grow.

have everyone's attention, let's have chapter 2.

Enjoyed the originnal story; but, I agree, it needed some work-over. You, and the co-editor, have turned oout a near perfect (improved) romance (sex-filled) story. Thank youboth. I will eagerly be awaiting chapter 2.

K, so i absolutely LOVED the first one and honestly didnt think it could get better but it did! Anxious for ch. 2!!

A fantastic story, didn't read the first issue but as your readers say this is much better, it must be. Great build up in the store to a Birthday I'm sure she will never forget. Bring on the next chapters please.

Got what every naughty birthday girl -- in fact every birthday girl -- should get: a hot, hot, fucking and a very hard spanking, or is that a hot, hot spanking, and a very hard fucking. Either way, a great story.

Did you say: "the beginning has been tightened up and the grammar / spelling issues fixed?"

So how does paragraph 3, first sentence have "they boy" bagging the groceries?

Kinda like a promise - maybe one you cannot keep, or even pay attention to.

...just sayin'

...comments that anonymously attempt to degrade a story about grammar and editing that are themselves riddled with grammar and editing issues are noted, but not given much weight. I appreciate the comment and for your readership, but it seems you just went out of your way to point out a very minute mistake. I apologize if it ruined your erotic reading experience. Thanks. ;-)

Loved it. The build up was great and I really enjoyed reading it.

Already.....where's part 2.... Anxiously awaiting!!!! I keep looking every day.

Hello to all, I am in the process of writing the second chapter and discussing the story and events with my co-writer / editor. I do not want to rush the second chapter but it is the story in actively writing. If you would like updates or notification on when the story is submitted then posted, email me at iwghthm@live.com.

You describe what is probably every mans fantasy. I have in recent years had a lusting for an 18 to 25 woman. slim to petite with no larger then a "B" cup and well trimmed or shaved/waxed. Can't wait to see the next part. No worries about the grammer errors. Easy to read thru them and get the jest of what you were saying.

Excellent story.

Are you from Kirkland by any chance?

I submitted the second chapter on Friday so it should be posting very soon!

This was an amazingly well written bit of fiction. You said what needed to be communicated between characters and told the rest with images. Excellent stuff!

Some readers, such as myself, enjoy just a touch of insight into grooming style for the woman. Hair is the new retro for people who don't like follow the leader.

Perfect story

and nicely cleaned up...

Did miss the rimming and her reaction to it in first version

I don't recall ever reading this before but, curiously, five stars marked in both versions, so guess I did-certainly deserved.

Great male POV. This age difference - man in his thirties, woman just starting adult life - is a favorite of mine whether in words or imagery. Despite being prolific in porn, there is usually something vital missing. The enjoyment and pleasure of the man. Thank you for letting me experience his appreciation and lust. I think if a man were to have such an opportunity, he would savor it - the looking, the touching, the tasting. Your man definitely did! And the pleasure the young woman felt as he lovingly “punished” her was right on. Sensuous spanking with naughty words is such a turn on.

I’m afraid to read the next chapter because I want to dwell on those first looks, touches, etc. Thanks again.

Inconsistencies and a lack of descriptive skills make this story difficult to read.