Guilt and Lust

I called our bond a family curse, but Sarina insisted that it was an agreement bound in blood and something deeper. Of course, as with such things, there was always a cost. In this case only some of it was paid by those involved. Most of the price came due from innocents.

A succubus, by its very nature, was a seductress who came into our world and gave reality to all of a man's darkest sexual fantasies. The cost? She would eat his soul piece by piece until there was nothing left.

That was one of the so-called benefits I received from my bond with Sarina. I could enjoy the forbidden pleasures one of her kind brought without her consuming my soul. That didn't mean it wasn't stained by our shared depravity. I was sure that by this time it was too dark to have any hope of redemption, but still I fought.

I didn't much care for the other benefit my bond with the succubus gave. Sarina could stoke the desires of anyone near her, especially if I didn't work against her. Do you have any idea easy it was to control people and get what you want when their minds are fogged with lust and need?

That didn't even take into consideration the fact that I could give anyone in half the population of the world the ring and as soon as the woman put the little gold band on, they would be mine. Well, Sarina's, but the end result was the same. She would take over as she was doing right now with Claire and have her victim do whatever I wanted as long as I gave her what she craved.

And what did all of this cost me? Only my humanity, my free will and the salvation of my soul.

Perhaps that was worth it to the ancestor who made the pact with the succubus, but it wasn't to me. What use was power when it couldn't give me what I really sought out of life? I wanted what my grandparents had. A simple life with a partner I loved and who loved me in return. Someone to share my hopes and dreams.

I wanted a lot of things that were denied me. I wanted kids to love and raise, watching them become their own men and women. I wanted friends that were true. People who I could rely on and who could rely on me when times turned tough. I wanted a job that not only paid my bills, but also stretched my imagination. Something I could be proud of doing at the end of each day.

All of that was denied me by my family curse. Sure, money and power could be useful, but no amount of either could give me what I truly craved.

Sarina's part of the bargain was confusing at first glance. The succubus had far greater access to our world, but she had no physical form here of her own. That was locked in the small, unimpressive ring I wore most of the time. Her ability to affect anyone other than the person wearing the gold band, though still impressive, was vastly reduced.

Her dark essence could roam free in our reality, but she needed a host body and even then, the succubus could only do so for a short period of time before she would need to return to the ring and her body to rebuild her strength.

Sarina was reliant on me to keep her tied to our world and that reliance did not sit well with such a powerful demon despite her being the one who initiated the pact in the first place. The succubus hated being trapped in the ring and fought hard to be set free as soon as she was strong enough to survive in our reality once more. The only thing holding her at bay was me.

Unfortunately, the succubus continued to grow stronger the longer she stayed in the ring and sooner or later she would force me to free her once more. If I denied her long enough my need grew to the point where I could think of nothing else if my control slipped...no, when it slipped. It always did eventually.

I fought each time with every ounce of my will even knowing I'd fail. Sarina couldn't understand why. She couldn't fathom my need to try and protect as many women from her as possible.

You see, it was those poor innocents who paid the true cost. Not only did Sarina take control of their bodies, using and abusing them to drive me mad with desire, but the succubus was able to feed off them. That's why she joined in the bond with my ancestor. A succubus existed for power and gained that by devouring souls.

The family curse granted her access to far more souls than usual for one of her kind. That's why she put up with the limitations the bond between us put on her. Sarina wouldn't eat my soul and her ability to affect those around her was a pale shadow of what she could do when she broke into our world the normal way, but in exchange she could consume far more souls than any other of her kind without incurred the cost of breaking through the barriers between our realities.

Each time the succubus took a host, she would eat the woman's soul bit by bit. She would continue until there was nothing left if I let her, but I always fought against her, trying to save as much as possible. If I saved enough, the woman survived. I didn't always succeed.

Even when I did, the woman's soul would be a ragged mess with large holes cut away while mine remained whole. Of course, each time I allowed Sarina to feed off of an innocent, I knew my soul darkened, damning me. I was never sure if saving the woman's life was a kindness or a cruelty.

My mother hadn't died when my father and Sarina were done with her, but grandfather told me how she was only a shell of her former self. Her tie to this world was so weak that she chose to end her life not long after having me.

A part of me knew what seeing poor Claire after we were done would do to me. She would be a hallow husk of the woman she once was, but only if she survived. If it were up to Sarina, she wouldn't. I fought hard each time to make sure our victim lived through our time together, never knowing if I was doing the right thing.

Yet, what other choice did I have? I couldn't let Sarina leave a trail of bodies in our wake. It's not like I didn't try to stop her before she ate the woman's soul, but I was powerless to stop the succubus until she existed in our world long enough to weaken.

Deep down, I knew it was no mercy for me to stop Sarina before they died. Yet, I fought each time because the thought of having their deaths on my soul was too much to bear, not that what was left didn't weigh me down.

I was sure that the succubus despised me for my refusal to let her feed and kill as many women as she wanted. That didn't bother me in the least. Sarina would gleefully kill me if she didn't need me, but she did, at least for the time being.

One day I would slip up and make some poor woman pregnant with a son. That would be the beginning of the end for me. The succubus would bide her time until my child was old enough and then take great pleasure in destroying me.

I wasn't afraid of dying. In fact, most days I craved death. It was the only freedom I'd likely ever see again, but I would not give in. Not at that cost. I would not do to my son what my father did to me.

The family curse had survived generation after generation. I promised myself that as long as there was even an iota of my humanity left, I would not propagate it to the next generation. Maybe I couldn't break free of it, but that didn't mean I had to pass it on.

A shiver went through me as I remembered one of my earlier attempts to end the curse. I tried to get rid of the ring by throwing it into the ocean. It only took a few days to find its way back to me, but in that time the succubus left a wide swath of bodies in her wake.

You see, Sarina could still convince a woman to put on the ring without me present. She could also take over their body and make it do exactly what she wanted. What the succubus couldn't do without me was feed. It had something to do with the way the bond was formed. He victim needed to be wearing the ring with me there in order for the demon to feed. That's why she would never let me go.

"Are you done wallowing yet?" I didn't need to see Sarina's expression to feel the cold condescendence.

"I hate you!" I repeated with a growl, causing her to laugh.

"Hate me. Love me. I could care less, but you will give me what I crave!"

Sarina took my large cock into her mouth and deep throated it with some difficulty. I could feel Claire's body fighting against the abuse, but the succubus forced it to do her bidding the same as she did me. Worse, she made the body want the abuse.

I could feel the demon stoking my darkest passions as she used a combination of Claire's hands and mouth to bring me to the brink of release once again. There was nothing I could do to stop her, but by this point, even if there were, I doubted I'd have done it. The succubus stoked need inside me was too strong now.

I held the blonde's head with both hands and thrust my cock deep, feeling it push past the entrance to her throat over and over again. It wasn't long before my cum boiled free once more and filled her mouth. Sarina hungrily gobbled it up. That was oddly satisfying. What wasn't were the pieces of Claire's soul she took with it. I don't know why, but I could always feel it when the succubus pulled the life force from her victim.

Sarina typically did it in bite sized chunks, but tonight was different. Maybe it was because of how long it had been since she'd last been free, but whatever the reason, she was drawing the life out of Claire faster than I'd ever seen her do before. The poor blond would be dead in a matter of minutes at this rate. Normally, the succubus drained the woman over a day or two.

"No!" I cried, pushing the blond away from me.

"I want more! Give me more!" Sarina demanded, but I refused to give in. We locked wills like never before.

"No!" We cried in unison as I surprised both of us by pulling the small ring off of Claire's finger. I'd never been able to do it before Sarina fed for at least a full night. Sure, she was eating larger chunks of the blonde's soul this time, but I'd stopped her before she'd done half the damage she usually did.

The only problem was that the reciprocal was true too. Normally, Sarina was so weakened after we were done that my demon driven need for fulfillment was sated, at least for a time, but not tonight. Tonight, I burned with an almost unholy desire for release. I looked at Claire, more to the point, Claire's body and started reaching for it.

The blond was only half conscious, but her eyes suddenly focused on me. The look of horror and confusion was plain to see. I yanked my arm back and stumbled out of my bedroom.

My need was so great that I was fully engorged once more. My stiffness bounced in front of me and slapping against my stomach hard enough to make a smacking sound as I made my way away from Claire and into my living room.

I did not expect to see Kordai standing there on her cell phone. She was clearly angry and not impressed by the sight of me naked as she hung up on whoever she was talking to.

"Where's Claire?"

"In the bedroom," I said with some difficulty. "Take her quickly and go!"

That caused the shapely young woman to pause. Her expression changed. She was no longer angry, but I couldn't tell what she was feeling any longer.

"Now!" I growled. Kordai shook her head and began moving to the bedroom. She came out a few minutes later leading Claire who was once again wearing her clothes. They were disheveled. I expected that was because Kordia had done most of the putting them back on her.

I forced my eyes away from the blond, but not before I saw her eyes locking onto the ring once more. Sarina was up to her old tricks. I fought her as usually, mostly because I was certain that if Claire put the ring back on then she would be a soulless husk before it came free again.

They left without another word, although I could feel both women's eyes on me until they were out the door. This was bad, very bad. Claire would be back. Probably not tonight after the abuse her soul had taken, but she would return. Sarina's siren call was part of her now. I could feel it.

All I had done was delay the inevitable unless I did something drastic. Simply not returning to Cal's wasn't good enough any longer. I had to disappear without a trace or Claire was doomed because she would come looking for me. She would search a long time, but eventually Sarina's power would weaken and Claire would be free of the succubus, of both of us.

A part of me wanted to pack and leave right then, but I was afraid to go out in public until I regained full control of Sarina. She would be like a beacon of lust. Any woman who passed in our wake would be drawn to her. The point of stopping Sarina wasn't to trade someone else's life for Claire's.

The next couple of hours passed slowly as I fought against the succubus's will. I knew I couldn't do it forever, but I hoped she would quiet down for a time if I showed Sarina that I wasn't going to give in tonight. I sat on the couch and stared off into space, no sign of the internal war that raged. I was too focused to even take the time to put on clothes.

My alarm clock went off in the bedroom, distracting me briefly. I hadn't realized how long I'd been at it until that moment. I felt myself weaken, but I redoubled my efforts. So much so that I didn't notice the apartment door opening sometime later until it was too late.

I was certain it was Claire returning and if it was, then she was lost. I wouldn't be able to stop Sarina from reclaiming her and the succubus was so angry with me that she would drain the blond out of spite, even if it weren't already her nature to feed.

Only, it wasn't Claire. It was Kordai. Weirder yet, Sarina actually quieted somewhat after one last, angry jolt of her power. The desire she pressed into me was so strong it actually hurt. It made my body buzz in need. I turned toward the dark-haired girl. The green streaks and yellowish green highlights somehow looking even more enticing than before. So did her well-endowed body.

"You shouldn't have come back!" I gasped out in frustration. Kordai didn't respond in words. Instead, she smiled, almost sadly as she pulled off her coat. The shapely young woman took my hand and led me to the bedroom. She didn't pull me like Sarina had earlier, but I felt just as powerless to resist.

"Is Claire okay?" I found myself asking. The concern and guilt must have come through.

"No," Kordai replied honestly as she pushed me down on my bed. "She will never be the same." The guilt grew, but then again, it was nothing new to me.

"What are you doing?" I was afraid I knew the answer.

"Giving you what you obviously need," she replied cryptically.

Her actions were easier to decipher. Kordai slipped out of her blouse and bra, dropping them on the floor. She then sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off her boots. I watched her mesmerized as the shapely young woman then she stood, this time facing away from me as she stripped out of the rest of her clothes. I was too busy enjoying the sight of her back and buttocks to notice when the black spandex and her panties joined the pile on the floor.

Kordai turned back toward me when she was done. She stood there with nothing on except the necklace I'd seen earlier. The one that matched her hair and eyes perfectly.

"I don't understand." That didn't mean I didn't react to the sight of such the curvaceous woman standing naked in front of me.

I was still filled with the deep sensual need for physical release that the succubus had left in her wake. Yet, for the first time in a long time it wasn't all that I felt. Not only was Sarina being uncharacteristically silent, but I knew that part of what I was feeling had nothing to do with her. It was my own honest desire, something I seldom felt anymore.

"I know," Kordai replied, but not clarifying anything afterward. Instead, she joined me in bed, laying on top of me. The feel of her impressive breasts against my naked chest as she latched onto my neck with her mouth was satisfying in a way I'd never felt before.

I let my hands wander her well endowed body as she continued to press her chest against mine. Kordai's lips never left my neck. I felt her teeth graze my skin more than once. At one point I thought she was going to bite down, but it never happened.

It's not like I thought Kordai was a vampire. On the other hand, there was obviously something different about her. There was no way Sarina would be this silent otherwise. I could still feel her in the back of my head, but the constant lust that had been part of my life for a decade was fading fast.

That didn't mean I was suddenly passionless. I'd always been full of desires, even before my father passed the family curse on to me. The woman on top of me was certainly worth the fervor that welled up from somewhere deep inside of me.

Having Kordai in my bed and knowing the lustful feelings I was having were mostly my own was something new to me. None of this made any sense, but I was too lost in the concept of actually feeling my own unencumbered emotions to care. I rolled us over until I was on top.

I held the full-bodied woman down roughly at first because that was the only experience I had with women. Kordai didn't fight me, but I could tell she wasn't really enjoying herself so after a few seconds I forced myself to be gentler. That seemed to surprise her.

For the first time in my life I took my time with a woman, enjoying the feel of Kordai beneath me. I kissed my way down her body slowly. She responded, at times almost reluctantly, but it was clear she liked what I was doing. I took an odd sort of pride in the fact. I'd never brought a woman satisfaction on my own before. I'd never gotten the chance with Sarina in my life.

I became lost in Kordai's body, massaging and tasting her as I went. Her full, heavy mounds were tantalizing and I focused on them for a time, loving the way it made her react. A growing warmth welled in my chest and spread through my body. I'd never felt its like before.

I wanted to continue to explore the lush body of the woman beneath me, but Kordai wanted something different. I hadn't gotten very far before she pulled me back up, reaching between us and taking hold of me. Kordai rubbed the head of my cock up and down her opening, making it wet and ready.

The full-bodied woman's lips parted slightly as I started pushing in. I couldn't resist her body, or her mouth. I leaned forward to kiss them. It was my turn to be surprised. Kordai turned away from me, refusing to let my lips touch hers.

She reached up, pulling my head down and latched on to my neck once more when I tried to kiss her a second time. It was frustrating to be denied, but by the same token being inside of Kordai's body sent shivers down my spine and quickly distracted me.

I thrust in and out of the her at a far more sedate pace than usual simply because for the first time in my life, I could. She responded in the expected way, but far more slowly than I'd ever faced before. I'd never been with a woman that didn't have Sarina along for the ride and the succubus was always on the edge of release. Everything about Sarina was dark and lustful. Kordai was different. I just wasn't sure in what way yet.

I had no experience with a woman like her and didn't know how to react. Being with Kordai seemed about more than simply release, not that it wasn't important too. I guess in part because it was something that felt real for the first time in my life. It wasn't long before my longing for release grew to the point where I was having problems holding off.

There was a feeling of euphoria building that was far different than I'd ever felt before. It wasn't just endorphins filling my system. It was something more, something different. I knew that part of it was that Kordai was with me by her own choice. I didn't understand why, but that didn't matter in the moment.

The lack of guilt over what was happening was a first for me too and it felt incredible. In fact, the general malaise of sorrow and self-hatred that was my life wasn't nearly as strong as usual and it continued to fade as our bodes moved together.