All Comments on 'Halloween Mistake'

You really needed a proofreader. Most importantly, you frequently mixed up names. There were other editing errors as well. Please get a reader next time, it would have made the story much better. But it was good, and please keep writing!

I completely agree with the other comment it would have been a way better story if you didnt mix up names and didn't say she instead of him and stuff like that. Other that little mix up I thought it was a great story

I hope he did not give her a present.

hope she ends up knocked up and Dan does a DNA test on the bastard baby and then divorces his slut wife. She was stupid for getting into that situation and if it was rape why did she get turned and cum

there is a follow up.

UNO ESTRELLA

very good, this jake character is crazy don't stop stop

Next chapter please, however, I am confused, You confuse Dan and Jake in a few sections. other than that, very well done. Goes to show, be very aware of friends with no ties.

It's too good to stop now.

Will she stay with Dan and blame him or will she tell the truth of the rape? And regardless, how does she treat Jake next time she sees him considering he raped her?

Been to many parties and such where things got out of hand. Getting stupid drunk has caused many person to do things they wouldn't usually do, but then again, some people don't need an excuse to fuck around. My wife and I stay reasonably sober but love to play grab ass and are both exhibitionists and take advantage of the situation. Our rules are anything goes as long as it is consensual, and NO secrets ! Bare469

The drunk and the whore need to get a divorce! Now!

Pretty awful 2*

hey livealitle49 :)

win win achiever couple....and a very very bold take on sexy dressing to parties, and the wife's reluctant one night stand with her husband's friend!!..if the husband too drunk to take her home when she pleads,disasters might just happen!!!

now will the friend blackmail the wife that if he does not get her often,he might tell on her to her husband?!!....of course now she is so alone with her worst fears and sense of guilt for infidelity to her beloved husband!!! ....the husband with whom she's had unforgettable sessions of enjoyable fun sex whenever he was sober and they had free time from work!! ;)

and hey 'make a million and then make babies' a super cool formula!! ;)

the words "for the very last time as his wife" were left off

This story was very real to me because stuff like that has happened to me several times. For me, drunk ex-boyfriends are the worst offenders at parties

changing her phone password have anything with keeping Jack from sending her a text?

Nice to have a believable story and to imagine it was my wife

It doesn't sound to me like Jake wants the fun to end. You should do a few more parts to this from blackmail too submission and then the wife has an unstoppable lost for more.

This is a scenario guaranteed to blow up. A likely divorce since the couple are young and have no children, and her lifestyle will take a real hit. I would stay in that marriage if young enough to start over with someone with better judgement. Especially since that was a literal focused partnership no longer trustworthy. The friendships would be lost, and perhaps even prison for the husband if he takes his rightful vengeance on a former friend proven spousal pussy hound. I would like to be on that jury. It would give another meaning to the term "hung". Some betrayals literally BEG appropriate response.

Can't keep the characters straight, even in the last paragraph?

Wow.... I would say that partnership, and that marriage would likely be over. The couple portrayed had not children, and a real planned partnership requires trust. A relatively young guy with a successful business career could move on to something with less baggage. This kind of action would not stay hidden for long, given the other guy is a pussy hound who probably brags a lot and keeps pestering her. Would YOU want to stay in such a marriage if the partner's commitment isn't guaranteed? What else would be betrayed, even if the objective likelihood of it is uncertain. It would all depend on just how clueless the husband was while (too?) focused on his business. Tale has a good premise. Just needs a sequel, and maybe a prequel to flesh it out. The wife's dilemma and handling of guilt would be a good story line.

Wow... the wife portrayed is in a real dilemma which should be explored further by the author. Consider, the friend obviously had no qualms about exploring that cheating further. And he could always hold her indiscretion over her head, and probably would. This wife had a planned partnership with the husband for 10 years before having children, so they don't have large joint physical investment outside his business. She obviously has a lot to lose if this comes out financially, yet she faces potential blackmail for which the only solution is confessing and asking for her husband's help. Not to mention the guy is supposed to be his friend, and it he would do THAT what else would he cheat his friend on? So confessing, getting on her knees, and begging forgiveness, before asking for help would be her only option. The sequel would be about how he handles this. It's been done elsewhere here and pretty well by authors like Ohio or DG Hear among others, but it's a wide open situation to explore. Consider a subplot where the 'friend' and the husband talk about a joint business venture while he pesters the wife. I had a wife who got stoned at a party and cheated with a joint acquaintance once two years into a marriage right out of college. Yeah.... late 70s Boomers. She did confess and did just what this wife should have done and begged for my forgiveness with a 'one-time confession'. And so I did after lots of reflection, figuring she would not have been a serial adulterer, confessing after just one incident, showing both conscience and contrition. It checked out after confronting that acquaintance too. And we are still content 31 years later, having matured as a married couple. It happens. If this author still writes, go study the author Ohio or others and learn how to flesh out story lines.

Nice story but wish the author used more paragraphs - the way this story is formatted makes it rather difficult to read! I downloaded into word and then put in my own paragraphs. I also deleted many of the repeated phrases.

Very good story, but I feel it seems unfinished. Jake is going to be a problem.