by maxillodragon
A very good start to your writing career. I am looking forward to more stories.
Very hot first story! Can't wait to see what happens next! Five stars and a favorite point!
While generally I like more character development and seduction( typically from the son) I thought this was very well written
Very hot first story! Can't wait to see what happens next! Five stars and a favorite point!
More, please!
This is so hot, when is he going to realize he just fucked his dream woman! I hope they will be lovers and she will get pregnant!
5 stars!!!!!
Loved it! The only thing I would maybe change is having a bit more build up with her dressed at cat woman. She kind of just dragged him away and fucked him right away.
Thanks everyone for all reading and commenting. I will do my best to continue writing. As I haven't finalized how the future unfolds, suggestions are always welcome. As a first time writer, i appreciate the criticism, but do cut me some slack and give the story some plot armour.
I liked that first Part very well and enjoyed reading. But critics are right, some more thoughts of Luke about her appearance in sexy costume and about beeing dragged straight foreward to sex would have been good. Cat woman usually wears a catsiut so its surprising to read she removed her pants and panties. Why the heck sie wears panties when sie dressed to get laid ?
It's a good start. I would say slow down the story telling and build things up before the pay off.
Also you should get an Editor to give you some help. I've used ones that volunteer their help on this site and it makes a difference.
Good story, always interesting how these mom-son stories get rolling before going off the rails.
I would recognize my son by his voice and up close by his eyes, certainly not by his dick, ok, cock. hehe
Sssooo...(6) months ago you made a plea for understanding, because you are a new author...cut you some slack...
I 'will' do this...but the onus of the bad writing mistakes is on you...and you should go back to do a re-edit of the story..."or not"...??
For a first effort, 4/5 stars, was almost a 3...Mom really needs some work, and Luke...he does not know his own mother's voice?? He hasn't even been imbibing!! Not in the least bit credible...!!
Going to the next chapter, let's see how you do with Chapter 2...??😒🙊🙉🙈
As an avid of mother/son incestuous love stories, I like the premise of the story. I would liked to have more indepth character development. Likewise, more logical plot development. Mother and son have established rule of conduct. However, they appear to have failed to develop a plan for occasional check-up with each other to estlabish that everyone is okay. Mother and son reach the party. each take off and never see the other or look for them.
For your very first story it is remarkably good can't wait for the second installment