All Comments on 'Hands on the Wheel Ch. 05'

This story seemed more about the author telling everything about everything but the characters. I just couldn't ever make a connection with the characters. This didn't need to be half this long. Sorry, three was all I could give, in the end. Maybe if you just tell a story, and not how much you know, next time.

MemChu....yeah...

Sarah still gets the short end of the stick... Ivan deserved the SARAH prize and she deserved him

You are aspiring to do more with the story. I appreciated the Woodley story, but not as much as you probably thought. I almost skipped it entire.

I didn't care about Sarah's story. I didn't care about Em AT ALL. Could have dropped the Woodley story, which, while nice, was a bit of a shoehorn.

BUT, bear in mind I tend to be...direct in my writings. I am terse and not descriptive and the description was a strength in this story, thought a bit uneven. Honestly, it would have been a bit better, instead of continuing graphic 13th Century rape stories to put in a graphic story at how half breed children are treated in Japan, which caused real 21st Century drama we might actually care about since it is tangentially germane.

How Ivan had to 'fix' his son and his relationship, cause Mom sure wasn't painting him in any kind of good light for 8 years.

I LIKE the story, but overall a 3.5 (round 4) is the best I can do. The side stories weren't germane, and I only half loved it. The writing, however, and the side ELEMENTS of his story (Rhodium, the Computer fix) were strong associated stuff.

Keep the focus on the main players. In this case, it was Ivan and his Job: how it intersected his life. That is where you started, but instead we wandered around into some chicks and then Fairy Tales, leaving us Ivanless.

You earned it, gave you 5*s. I came to the realization as I awarded 3*s, then 4*s, and was waiting with great expectations the next chapter. That is the definition of a 5* story 😊💡.

This story grew as it went along. In the end you have almost everything here. Joy, innocence, tragedy, criminal acts, even an educational moment 😳,lol.

So there you have it a very excellent story!

Thank you for your time and effort.

AMerryman

P.S.You did it without a reader, beta reader, editor, final editor, plumber, or (oh no) a lawyer.....

This turned out to be a very good story...Of course opinions vary...some wanted Sarah to stay with Ivan, other understood why she couldn't...But we have to accept the author's ending and thank him for this story...4*

Asleep at the wheel.

This was a better ride than your last story arc. Still some roughness around the edges, but definitely better. Keep it up. I look forward to your next outing.

The best chapter was the first, because it involved love and romance and drama and meeting the love of your life in unexpected places at an unexpected time. But you forecasted how the rest of the story and the characters would behave with the stupid plot device, "I forgot." So the remaining story was pretty much a cartoon about stupid people doing stupid destructive stuff to themselves, to others, for no apparent reason, motivation, or explanation. All the characters appear to be just props so you could dazzle us with endless details about places and things and organizations and software and computers and Who The Fuck Cares!

Except for the first chapter the story reads like it was written by some kind of narcissistic literature bot. Any human element appeared almost grudgingly, as if the bot's programming kept kicking in the subroutine, "remember this is a story about human beings." Oh, yeah, fuck, what a drag: the human element. So once in a few paragraphs the characters would do a few human things, then immediately resort to the same stupid inexplicable behavior that made no sense, and contradicted many previous actions and supposed values. Like a machine: on, off, right, left, start, stop . . ., it was obvious the person controlling the machine knew where he wanted to go, but had only a vague idea how to get there, and to do it in a way that made it look like the characters drove the story. Instead the characters look like they were just tools, and behaved accordingly.

Thanks for the demo. A really complicated and intricate machine, but, what's it supposed to do?

so what happened to Sarah's life going forward. And why talk about the crime and police investigation way after you finished the story. That was over the top .the justice system doesn't work that way. The sentences seem to harsh and it never would have occurred that way. She withdrew from herself so how did they ever investagate a crime here. Also no way Fumiko would listen to such a detail story from shara a total stranger at the time. And Fumiko never was involved with another man since the birth of her son.sorry just not believable .a total fairy tale.

Even though we all knew where this story was going, the journey was good (which is reminiscent of HDK's stories). I hope Sarah finds somebody to love; she deserves it. Well done.

There's something ironic about Ivan's son ruining the initial reunion with Fumiko by being a spoiled whiny brat, given how often Ivan himself displayed those qualities. Apparently, he truly is his father's son.

(Also, Ivanovich? So, Fumiko's part Russian now? Japan doesn't even use middle names!)

The Sarah interludes were too drawn out. I pretty much just skimmed any section she was in for chapters 4 and 5. I just didn't care about her, after she left Ivan, at all. If you build up a sympathetic character with some sort of "I'm in love with the MC but *sob* I've been tainted by my past and don't deserve him!" and then pretty much implicitly agree with that by having her not get the guy, then either (a) you've failed because I don't sympathize enough with her to care, or (b) you've failed because I do sympathize with her, so that makes the MC an idiot for not overcoming her issues and ending up with her.

She might have had a story of her own, but shoehorning it into this one didn't work.

The first chapter of this story was solid and enjoyable. The rest of the story made me despise the main character, and hope that he died in a ditch rather than inflicting himself on the lives of other more worthwhile characters.

You ha d a major flaw between chapter four and five but as I read the reunion of Ivan and Fumiko and his meeting of his son a tear ran down my cheek. Flaws became a non necessity. I gave you a five, as I did with each of your other chapters. I understand the need to go overboard on the Sarah/Woodley side story, we needed to know where her head was in order to help Fumiko.

I look forward to your next story. Oh by the way you never said if you had a good vacation or not.

The overall story was enjoyable. A little too stiff sometimes. Highly emotional issues were presented as if the character was reading them from a book about someone else. Other parts felt very real.

When I read Sarah's story, I thought it was being told to generate sympathy for the character. But the truth of the story was that a foolish young woman WILLINGLY took drugs that SHE obtained and initiated sex with multiple men. Sure, the drugs may have been more potent than she expected but BEFORE they kicked in she was asking multiple men to have sex with her. From the story we can get a sense of her inner struggle at a point, she wanted to stop. But she was too wasted to express that to the men, who once again, she INVITED to participate in an orgy, which they continued to oblige her with. In fact, at first the men were hesitant to participate until Sarah made it CLEAR that she wanted to have sex with them.

How is this rape or sexual assault?

To be clear, I am sympathetic to Sarah. The outcome was clearly traumatic. But it wasn't traumatic because men took advantage of her. It was self inflicted trauma. Her pain was clearly real but the trial and unlikely conviction of men doing exactly as she requested them to do was ridiculous and pointless. It wasn't needed for the story.

I seen some of the Whiners comments. They should write their own story. and prove they know their shit. or just shut up.

The Woodley fairy tale is an obvious metaphor between the rapist self-indulging cruel lord of the castle and Donald Trump. Well done!

Gave you a 5!

and waiting fo ryou to finish C & W, a story I really like.

One thing that detracted from this story, a number of times, was the illogical actions/reactions. E.g. the "rape", Woodley asked the guys to ravage her, how is that rape? Maybe it went too long, I dont remember them giving her other drugs, but she was the instigator. And she shut down after that, didnt report it, so how did they get dna evidence years later? The peasant girl who kills the Lord with the poison dagger, designed to inflict maximum suffering, then chops his head off minutes later? Huh?

She thought she heard someone say "Fuck this, she isn't even sucking any more. Put her on the couch over there so we can get to her cunt."

After more, many more, had pounded to their orgasm, someone said, "This pussy's way too sloppy. I'm gonna fuck her asshole." She tried to say no, but no words came out, just mumbles and grunts. She couldn't make her mouth or arms or legs move properly and her stomach hurt from being hammered over and over onto the arm of the couch. She started crying softly because she couldn't do anything to stop what was happening, then screamed when someone smeared her anus with a glob of fluids and jammed his rigid cock into her rectum. It felt like a sword, a hot poker stabbed into her belly.

"Oh shut up slut, you love it!" Slammed, pounded, hammered into her over and over. Sometimes her vagina, sometimes her rectum, sometimes her mouth, sometimes two or three at once. Slapping her butt cheeks. Pinching her nipples cruelly, twisting them until she thought they were going to be ripped off. Biting. Slapping. Pinching. Laughing. She was losing all connection with reality, there was nothing but a sea of pain and obscene shouts. Voices and pain and so tired and still more voices and more pain.

—For Christ's sake, the bitch is puking and pissing and shitting!

—Jesus fuck, she smells like shit!

—I can't believe I fucked that without a condom.

—That's it, I'm outta here.

—Fuck! Looks like the bitch took a fuckin cum bath!

—God damn, is that blood?

—Should we do anything for her?

—Put her on the couch, she's about to fall on the floor.

—That's her purse by the stairs.

—Put it on the couch with her.

—I think we better get the fuck outta here!

An expanded rape kit was required to accommodate the semen samples taken from all the areas of dried semen, plus her mouth, vagina, and anus. A portable X-ray machine was brought in to take images of her head and upper body, and pelvic area.

Great story over all I like stories that show more of the story and also shows how some can have a hard time with what the wife can do to destroy her clueless husband.... and walk away. 4+ stars.

This is one case where the final chapter was necessary to understanding the whole.

It was nice to have the Woodly story explained even if Woodly had a far different fate than her antecessor.

He can’t find the first woman, even though he is a computer expert. Becomes a alcoholic and is cured in 3 weeks! Can’t find the next woman either. Oh wait a minute, did he really look for either? Then suprise I have son! I’m so happy. I’m all for fantasy but melded with all the technical stuff, didn’t seem like it went together. He should have been secret service agent that saved the president by shooting the assasin with pistol at 800 yards.

Despite being extremely well written, it was just too unbelievable and puritan for my liking. Your hero Ivan was in fact a whiter than white short tempered arsehole hero. His first wife obviously was a witch but no way on earth would have any girl waited 8-9 tears for him. 3 stars for the quality of the writing

A long journey to a great destination. Excellent wrap to an epic story. Looking forward

to your next one.

3*s

Now that's what I call a great story 💣💥🤤! Gave you full 3*s.

Easily one of the best stories on this site.

Please note that there is someone around dropping fake comments signed with my name. As everyone knows, I only give 3* or 4*.

AMerryman

Haters are invited to perform the proverbial ceat of anatomically impossible self gratification.

Dude is a decent human, just slow AF on figuring out Women.

Kudos, thank you. Way to bring it home

I cracked up laughing😂.

Thank you for the compliment.

Please, enjoy the moment everyone, lol.

AMerryman

You Merrymen are running amok! Get back to Sherwood Forrest where you belong, Merrymen are everywhere! You're supposed to be robbing from the rich (those with five stars)! Get back to dropping those three bombs!

Robin Hood.

Emily Dickinson? Wasn't she a recluse? I don't think she'd like your using her name this way...

This was well written and I enjoyed it, until I started thinking about some of the inexplicables. It wouldn't have been hard for Ivan to contact the conference organizers, find out who they hired as simultaneous translators, and at least get Fumiko's last name. It's also a bit of a stretch to believe that Fumiko would still love Ivan, nine years after he impregnated and abandoned her. And upon whom does Modern Woodley wreak revenge? Still, I found the characters well drawn and engaging, in a smart people doing dumb things kind of way.

My biggest problem was the lengthy discursions. I ended up skimming them, but then I sometimes do that when Michener writes them, too.

Oh, and to the person wondering about Ichiro's patronymic: Fumiko could understandably have done that in honor of Ivan's obviously-Russian heritage.

Well done, and thank you for posting.

GA.

...3rd chapter very good. 4th chapter ... ok. 5th stunk. Ok, not stinky, but worse than “meh”. Holy cow, the Woodley story took foreeevvveerrrrr. And, the chapter didnt gel anyway. Off the top of my head, it was rushed. This happened, then Woodley story, then this happened, then that happened, and finally this happened. Kinda dry in comparison to 1st and 3rd chapter.

Also, disappointed Sarah got siderailed. But that’s your storytelling prerogative. But you make her such an integral part of the story, then when he finds her again... ok, she’s engaged. But at the very end she kind of disappears. Did she get married? Maybe they should have had a double wedding. Or by the time of the marriage with Fumiko Sarah was already married. That would have been nice, and the last we see of Sarah is in Memchu, standing next to hubby, with her arm laying across her bulging 8 month pregnant belly. There, Sarah’s where abouts and what abouts solved.

Too many detours

...your characters’ lives went.

It’s extraordinary how lives intertwine and may or may not touch more than during one brief span....or may wind and intertwine a dozen times.

The subtlety of their effects upon one another at each meeting can and often do make a mark on each, that last for a very long time after they part company.

And if two people are very, very fortunate, they meet again and the brief interlude becomes a conjoined life. Hopefully, they keep working and loving until they dwindle to dust and are lost to the world for all time.

I believe that such love carries on and warms the hearts of those they reared, knew as friends and family and worked with while they were able.

I did something here, I swore I would only do under extraordinary circumstances. I was drawn to another story of yours and enjoyed it immensely.

So, I started reading your other submissions. I liked some better than others, this series has become one of my favorite.

My general policy is to never read a story rated less than 4.40 stars. That sounds harsh, but with the massive numbers of stories here, I could retire and never put my tablet down again in mortality and still not scratch the surface. Also, most LW submissions rated less than four stars are often rough and mostly not good enough to bother.

But there have been several startling exceptions where the rating was no reflection of the story, but of the rather obtuse political wrangling going on between two or more factions submitting to LW.

I’ve only allowed myself three exceptions to my rule in the past eight years. Your case was the third.

I don’t really have time for this extra reading and commenting, but when a contributor does a consistent job of presenting a story where I come to think of the characters as people and become engaged in their ‘Lives’, I feel it’s worth it to dig in and get to know the author a little better (as best one can through their stories).

I won’t start an offline or public dialog, as I’m not much of a social animal and couldn’t hold up my end of the interaction.

But I have thoroughly enjoyed every one of your stories.

Please continue and PLEASE write them to satisfy your “raison d’etre”.

Best Wishes from the vast wasteland of the anonymous.

https://www.wolfram.com/mathematica/

You dont know Japan or Japanese. She had an out of wedlock child — as far as Japanese are concerned, she is damaged goods. And with a foreigner makes it DAMAGED goods.

I know a woman, because of the shame her grandfather (equivalent to a euro-baron) suffered in WWII was unable to marry. Her family wouldn’t let her marry below their rank (she had been shown romantic interest by an American while she was studying in the US, but that was a definite no-go by parents), and anyone equal or above within their society would not marry her because of the shame her grandfather brought into the family. She was born because her parents were already married during the war (before the shame). None of her siblings ever married. So, her family name dies with her and her brother and sisters.

Japan is (still) a different world than the U.S. Remember, at least into the late 1990s (last time I heard any numbers) ~50% of marriages were still arranged. It was bad enough after WWII, when there was a glut of woman vs men, and women were still finding it difficult to find men to marry. Once there was gender parity again by the 1960s it became that much harder.

Heck, into the ‘80s men and women from Hiroshima and Nagasaki had trouble finding mates outside of their area because of the small uptick in cancer from the A-bomb. You or your parents moved to Tokyo after the war because that’s where all the jobs were. Someone shows some interest in you (or if you were male you showed some interest in someone). A “marriage broker” would be called. Investigation into your family. “Ah, you’re from Hiroshima? OK, it was nice meeting you. Bye-bye.”

I can definitely see Fumi not having any romantic interactions in Japan.

I enjoyed this, and your gentle hand in combining harsh with soft, sweet with sour, gingery with bland, spicy with cool, and taking a long time over the meal, with little side dishes to tempt and refresh the palate as it goes on.

I really enjoyed it

Well done, sir! 5*

If your in college and hook up with a girl that wants sex, you could get charged with sexual assault. Your life is now ruined, at 19 or 20. So beware, just because she says she wants to have sex, and probably is as drunk as you are, you could end your life.

Thank you sir for all the work you put into this. It was thoroughly enjoyable and I liked how you wove Woodley's story into the yarn. I have enjoyed each of your stories that I have read so far and hope that you will ignore the ignorant comments that seem to be a staple of this site and know that many here truly appreciate what you do, working for free, to give us something to enjoy.

I really liked the story but all that technical jargon in the beginning really was sort of annoying. Anyone that isn't a computer guru would not know what the hell was being said. I do love very long stories. Anyway Five*****

I liked the story but your name was what caught my attention---- I bought a book by ambrose bierce or better known as bitter bierce--- he had some of the craziest stories I have ever read-- I some times wish I still had the book----- just wondered if you got your name from him

You get points for mentioning Tuba Skinny (isn't Eika Lewis grand?) and Louis Prima's outstanding work in Disney's first Jungle Book (the second one was preachy and boring).

Very well done!

Very good story. Lost some sleep by not putting it down and finishing the read. Very thoroughly enjoyed! Thank-you

I was hoping the cliche of the child would be left out. Nope. Fumiko, having his son, wouldn't find him through his employer? Not too hard for her to do, as opposed to raising a child alone, it seemed to be a pretty large plot hole. Then the time spent at Disneyland, "The most plastic place on earth!" was a little too perfectly trite. I enjoyed the writing, didn't enjoy the excursions into Woodley's self wrought depravity and the tale of "Woodley" to explain her name choice wasn't worth the space it took. Seemed the storyline demanded Woodley/Sarah not fall in love with Ivan simply because there had to be a return to Fumiko, not because there was any real reason. Despite all, 4 stars, a good writer with some poor/nonsensical storyline choices.

Why didn't Fumiko ever contact Ivan about his son over 9 years? He did not know her email or phone number (though he could have used a PI), and didn't have much motivation after getting married to Jean. But she had a real, strong motivation and could have reached out to him via his company. He also soon became a well known tech player. Worse at there get together in the restaurant, she said nothing. The loving reconciliation is marred by her having the means and motivation to contact him but not doing so because she was butthurt he did not contact, not knowing he did nit have the info to reach her and then went through a bitter marriage and worse divorce. Jean was a psychopath.

Ok, everybody 'fess up; when you read the lyrics at the end there, you had Willie Nelson's voice in your head, right? What a great album, The Red Headed Stranger.

Magnificent! I really don't understand the petty moaners who pull a good story through the mud just because it doesn't fit their personal world view.

re: Lanmandragon What's to understand? Everybody is entitled to an opinion. Are you against them or just the ones that don't align with yours? It appears you're the one with a problem.