All Comments on 'Happy Anniversary'

But telling it in the third person, and in the past, loses a great deal of the potential eroticism.

I'd like to read more with the action taking place as I read it.

Gave it four stars.

of your fantasies, not a story.

I understand what you were trying to do but unfortunately it didn’t come off. It reads as if you started with an idea and just kept writing as the thoughts came to you. It’s not focused and just meanders around. It’s just bang, bang, bang without any subtleties.

I’ve nothing against writing about a woman with no redeeming features and for whom no one could feel sorry about having married a man who couldn’t satisfy her. I’ve done it myself. But you have to be careful how you write it and I don’t think in this instance it’s worked. Something else to bear in mind, when writing for Literotica, is that you need to avoid long paragraphs and it’s particularly something to bear in mind with a story such as this one.

It sounds like a dumb useless cunt wrote it. It has dreams of being a strong independent and liberated woman but knows it’s just a cum dump.