All Comments on 'Happy Birthday to Me Ch. 03'

To me , there is a lot of potential scenes and subplot being left fallow. I wish the beauteous Chloe Tzang would sit down with library DVD of 'Sex in the City ' and start transposing the action from New York to Singapore . Put monkeys on balconeys, make the city a character. Is Kam a little hard to rev up because of business pressure. Put specifics in . Big money deal subplot ?

Maybe the cast goes to posh Thailand resort to play games instead of home base apartment. I like Fan's edgy character and her chemistry with Isabelle. That's like Carrie and Samantha. Love the bitchy, funny girl talk & want more. We men, like to know what you women say away from us. The author does a great job with description of game and how hot Isabelle and Fan are.

The men are a little dull by comparison, I want them to have more intrigue and be worthy of women characters . This series is still ramping up so the sky's the limit. But one thing for sure it was a sad day when actresses in Sex in the City got a little too mature to be wild and innocent bachlorettes loose in big town.

But reboot the basic premise in Singapore with new characters and potential inherent in exotic Orient. Sassy Girl power goes East ? I'd buy it. Literally. Good luck.

I have been waiting for the continuation of your story. It is hot, and you write so well.

The question is: where is this story going? We have to wait and see where the writer will take it...for now stands their love...3*

first 2 chapters were great, then you took the story off a cliff

Well portrayed sex between people of teenage mentality: "Oh, God. Aren't we sexy and daring and adventurous?" No. You are cheapening your relationship and yourselves, making it less special and less precious. You are becoming soft-porn actors for a private audience. Except porn stars are true actors, pretending to be cheating spouses, or rapist and victim, or stupid wife and predator, or whatever the script calls for. And its a job, which they do for money, because they lack the education or ambition to do something more honorable with their lives. But here we have a husband who's soul and imagination are so empty, and who's libido is so stunted, that he needs to exhibit his wife, and fantasize about her fucking other men, in order to arouse any sexual energy from within himself. His sexuality is crippled and dysfunctional, and he and Isabelle need medical or psychological help. So erotic, watching crippled people trying to conduct normal lives. This should be a case study for a class on marriage, and what causes marriages to fail.

There are plenty of good exciting erotic dramatic plots involving married people failing, struggling, and either recovering, or moving on to a better life. This is not one of them. At least not so far.

It would REALLY help. The story doesn't flow well and the dialogue is stilted at best, boring at worst. Not good. Not good at all. Simply no fun to read.

Chloe, honey, your story gets better and better. The trolls are getting nervous, though, as you edge toward Kam sharing Isabelle with another man! The soft swinging scene is awesome, and your true fans await your next chapters.

Keep up the great writing!

....interesting activity.

I'm sure the more prurient interests in the room will ask, beg, plead, request....and maybe even attempt to bully you into another chapter or two.

It seems the night still has more to offer, and some may wonder if Adam will give Isabelle to Jim and take Fan in the offing.

Of course that opens the door to a LOT of other things. But where does it stop and how far do they go before someone gets hurt, or jealous, or angry, or fed up and things fall apart? I'm glad you're the author, as I would not want the task of addressing any of those requests or the dangling questions......but I, in the same moment, hope you will.

Two items to task you for:

Your frequent misuse/misapplication of the words "too" and "to". This issue is nearly pandemic in Literotica. By no means exclusive to any one author, but broadly abused....to the point that it is becoming a pet peeve for me. It creates a perceptual "stumble" for anyone adequately schooled in English grammar, punctuation and spelling. They are NOT interchangeable.

Please don't mistake me...I love this story nearly as much as I adore Asian women. But this silly little thing, this feature of too many stories, has become an considerable irritation. It doesn't take much to repair and I would think any competent writer would make every effort to catch and correct such misuse in the editing before release. I hope you will too.

I know it was written from the POV of Isabelle (a lovely Asian woman, by all measures), but this story had a bit too much (for my taste anyway) of the all-things-connected-running-text-dialog feel. Kind of OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! This is too much! Sort of....y'know....maybe I should go off and think about this one a little longer. I'm sure it doesn't help that I struggle to express my discomforture about it. I guess right now, it's the feeling that it tended to run on, more peripheral stuff than was important to the story, delaying the inevitable....as it were.

OK, maybe I can aka sense of it another time.

But thank you, thank you, thank you!

of a very hot and well--written story :)

The re introduction of Jim paid off. I'm also beginning to warm up to Isabelle's friendship with Fan. The Jenga game was another unique plot device. I'll await the next chapter.

MORE OF HAYLEY PLEASE!

i love that double date story

The deviancy has to escalate to get the thrill, so the downward spiral begins. Nice bio pic, but you might want to work on that ass some. Kinda flat there. Don't skip ass day.

woman like her or any actually would even look at your sorry ass face. I loved this tory and the photo m was great sweetie pay no attention to the old ugly ass fag annony. This fool hates everything, wish he would die!

When is the birthday girl's big day? And what's her "gift" as if we didn't already know! So does Jim fuck "Cindy" while Kam is fucking Fan? What would Isabelle think about that? So far all we have are her thoughts about her having sex with other guys. Does she even stop to consider Kam might have wanted to fuck Fan all along? How would she feel about that? Or that Kam already knew Jim and sent her out the first time knowing Jim was waiting for him to call telling Jim to proposition her? Does Isabelle ever realize Kam is fantasizing about having a real hooker? Some woman other than her? Why in these stories does it always seem a hubby like Kam would never ever think of fucking other women?

And if you've been reading so far, Chapter 4 is a continuation of Isabelle's evening as recounted in Chapter 3. So once again, thx for all the comments. Genuine critique's noted and I'll try to take those on board as this moves forward. Comments about my flat ass also appreciated but alas, not a lot I can do about that one short of implants and besides, I like mine the way it is. Who wants to be a bubble butt!

Hayley's Party? Yes, I was struggling a bit with the plot. It needs a good rewrite but there will be another chapter coming soon, along with a further chapter of "Chinese Takeout" - and a new story I've been working on, "The Temptation of Sammi Woo" - about a nice conservative chinese girl that gets entered in an amateur pole dancing competition and wins... after which things get a little out of hand...., not that Sammi objects.... and of course the next chapter of Happy Birthday to Me.

The POV of Isabelle? Right now she's an OMG OMG sort of girl which was sort of what I wanted to convey. She's 23, rather an innocent even tho she's married and everything that's happening is a bit surprising and shocking as well as exciting. She's never thought about anything like this. OMG! Guess I have to work on conveying that a bit better along with a better use of dialog. Have to confess I rushed Chapter 3 out the door to get it done before I took off on vacation for the first half of March so mea culpa on that one guys. Thanks for pointing that out. Appreciated.

Lordslamdawg - location? Yes, I should maybe get into the scene setting and make Singapore part of the story. It's a great city for that. Maybe with Chapter 5 I can work on that and tell me what you think. Also the male characters. Yes, point taken. I don't think I do so well with the male characters. Something to work on in Chapter 5 again as well as in my other stories.

Anyhow, thx everyone for all the comments and especially to all of you who enjoyed this series so far and have said so. I think everyone that writes on Literotica appreciates those little comments that say "I loved this" even without anything else. It's so motivating to write when you get those little notes that say things like "I came so hard after reading this that I had to wipe down the monitor" LOL, but it's true. It's why one writes this stuff.

And as for those darling trolls, luv you guys too. I know you read these stories from the comments and I do appreciate your feedback as well. All part of that great Literotica experience. Except the gook slut comments. I take exception to those. Gooks are Korean. If we're going with the ethnic slurs, please keep in mind I'm Vietnamese-Chinese-Polish and make the insults appropriate. If they are, they won't get deleted unless they're exceptionally tasteless. Promise :)

Thx to you all for reading my stories..... Chloe

I will never look at a game of Jenga the same. Love the characters, the detail of their thoughts. Keep writing Chloe, keep writing!

Oh, hell no! I could go on reading this indefinitely. It's wonderful.

Superb. full of erotic

Really enjoyed it!

Chloe-- Your writing and your stories just keep getting better and better. Good grief, Isabelle is such an exciting character, she should be featured in a movie---and YOU should be cast into the lead role. Love reading your stuff, keep writing and don't keep us waiting too long.

The best you could say is that these characters have the IQ's of rocks. And the dialogue feels like it was written by a horny teenager. Ugly.

You're only on Chapter 3 and there's two more to go. Oh noooooo. Tell you what, don't torture yourself. Read something else. Or better yet, write something yourself.

This has been one of the best series I’ve read, please keep writing

I used to love The X Files show about the possibility of aliens existing on Earth. Mulder and Scully chasing and nearly catching them in the act. The show was always just believable enough that it might be true. That's how I find your writing, just believable enough that it might be true! Not fantastically large penis's nor instantaneous refractory times completely believable proportions and clicks on the clock.

I also find it interesting that there are such diametrically opposing view points on your writing; from trash to treasure. I, for one, lean more toward the treasure metric. Your style is very fluid and VERY hot! I enjoyed the writing and the story!

I want to read a chapter where David pursues you and wins you slowly and has gourmet sex with you secretly

.

Well, the next chapter has David but not secretly at all.... Just to let you know what's coming up in order of release, and over March / April / May I'm planning to hit you all with a deluge of 8 different stories on Literotica as well as getting two novels off to my publishers (the remaining two of the "Three Nights in Shanghai" trilogy and a third (the full length "Tales from Old Shanghai - Never Ending Love" self-published.

"Chinese Takout Ch. 06 - When I See You Smile"

"Happy Birthday to Me Ch. 06 - Playing With Fire"

"Jeong Park's First Frosh Ball Ch 05 - Another Saturday Night Part II" - asap

"Slave to Love" (for the April Fools Day Competition story)

"Midnight at the Villa Diodati" - for the Sunday March 17th Gothic Horror story event, “Beyond the Wall of Sleep”

"Glass Ceiling" - for the mid-April "On the Job" Story Event

"One Night in Xanadu" for the April 23rd "One Night in XXX" Story Event

"Timeo Artifices et Membra Virilia Denudens (Beware of Geeks Baring Dicks)" for the May 25 Geek Pride Day Story Event.

I'm really enjoying your stories (except maybe for the wordiness), but you need to know that there's a problem with the LIT application edit which somehow chopped off about the last third of your chapter 3!

The best Loving Wives selection I ever read. I also loved the Nancy Kwan - Suzy Wong reference ! I wonder how many others did.

Keeps getting better and better...

very warm story, strip and touch and touch and strip, yummy!

Excellent story with perfect pace and realistic protagonists. It is definitely not too long. Wordy is good, if one writes as well as you do. Erotic as hell without going over the top. Loving and caring characters and no humiliation on the horizon. Just perfect so far. Please keep up the good work.

I love your stories! You have helped me understand Sharon and why she did the things she did.

Oh my so hot 🔥

It's definetly not to wordy. Just an extremly hot and naughty well written chapter. It will be a big hard pleasure to read the next for sure. Thx a lot.

We’re getting there, but the journey’s the thing. Great erotic writing. Love the female POV.

Your Loving Wives stories are great Chloe. Please write more of them.

Your writing is absolutely beautiful. I can easily place myself in the scene and feel what Isabelle is feeling. It’s a wonderful exercise to gender swap with her and feel what a woman feels and thinks while she tries to please her husband.