Happy Hogswatch!

Finally, something to go on! Catrin looked desperate and pleaded with the Archchancellor, "How do we find the Duke?"

"Take the number seven train for Lancre, it's about an eight-hour train ride to the end of the line. You alight at a logging camp named Hot Dang. From there you take the coach to Lancre Town, the coach will drop you off near the castle and if the Duke is not there, you can petition the King or Queen for an audience with him, but the duke is always in the castle on Hogswatch day."

Catrin and Jutta ate well for the first time in months that evening. For the first time, they had hope! "Oi say, that is a powerful sad story you tell," said Mrs. Whitlow. "It's a million to one shot, but oi hope you find your child."

Just then if anyone noticed, came glingle glingle glingle, the sound of distant sleigh bells. On the discworld and in the magic community, there is something very special about the million to one shot.

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Partridge Cottage, Creel Springs, Lancre

A warm fire crackled in the kitchen stove, and her grace Octavia Worblehat-Stein, Duchess of Wægn, Court Wizard to the King of Lancre, and former Empress of the Agatean Empire brushed the sweat off her brow with the back of her hand causing her four-year-old daughter to giggle. "What's so funny? You silly thing."

"You got frower on your face!" the tyke's giggling caused the six-month-old twins in their chairs to start laughing along with her.

Octavia conjured a mirror quickly and found that she had a swath of flour on her left cheek and across her forehead. At that very moment {just like magic} someone knocked on the door. The little dark-haired fireball Hollie dashed to the door and peeked through the glass outside and said, "It's Auntie Ena momma."

"Well, let her in," and with a mighty tug, Hollie Worblehat-Stein pulled the front door open so Octavia's friend Ena McCrory could enter.

"I come to see if you need a hand," said Ena as she stepped into the toasty warm cottage. "Looks like you do! Happy Hogswatch!" and handed a wine bottle to Octavia. "Makin' Hogswatch cookies?"

"And froot kake!" shouted Hollie.

"Trying to," gasped Octavia as she dug two wineglasses out of the cabinet. While she placed the wine glasses on an open spot on the counter, the cork slowly eased itself halfway out of the bottle and Octavia pulled it out the rest of the way, there's rarely a corkscrew used in a magic user's house, there's no need. Handing Ena a glass of wine, Octavia collapsed next to her in a rocking chair and said, "Are you all done and ready for Hogswatch Eve?"

"Oh, gawds no, but that's the blessing of having three grown daughters. If they fancy a Midwinter extravaganza, they can do it themselves." Ena turned and looked at her young friend and said, "Look at you! You can snap your fingers and Hogswatch treats just appear, but here you are in apron and flour and I hear a kitchen timer ticking away... when's the last time you lit a fire in that stove?"

"It has been a while since I put a few sticks of wood in the stove. Nick uses it most," said Octavia as she freed the sleepy twins from their highchairs and laid them down on the couch for a nap. "Hollie and I have been baking, the twins have been helping, the last batch of cookies just went in, and they should come out nicely."

"So, you're not using magic on the cookies?" It became known among her friends that Octavia just needs to gather the ingredients of a meal and her magic can complete the rest of the task in a moment. Nick calls it Kitchen Magic; Octavia calls it Damn Convenient.

"No, I'm teaching Hollie to bake. She won't learn anything if cookies just appear. What if Hollie can't use magic later? Where will her daughter's cookies come from?" Octavia smiled and handed Ena a perfectly made miniature mince pie that appeared in her hand and said craftily, "but I am using magic on the oven. Right now, the fire is heating the oven to exactly 350 degrees."

"So, you're the most powerful magic user on the disk, and you're using your magic to manage the temperature on a wood stove?"

"I'm using magic the way I want to use it, to make life more comfortable for all of us, like the heated outhouse, hot water at the pump handle, and laundry day," said Octavia.

"I love your heated outhouse. I'll walk all the way up here to use it, but laundry day? What's magic about Laundry Day?" asked Ena.

"Hollie!" Octavia called, "bring me the twins' diaper pail."

"K mommie." Soon the moppet returned, tugging an enameled metal pail with a lid up to her mother. "Stinky stinky stinky!"

"But it's laundry day!" said Octavia as she tweaked her daughter's nose. Then she opened the lid and pulled out diapers one by one. Each one was clean, dry, and odor free, and she began to fold them.

"I would have killed to have been able to do that," sighed Ena. "You use all that magic, all that power to do laundry?"

"Laundry and baking and building snowmen and Hogswatch cookies, and the Soul Cake Duck eggs and everything else that Nick and I didn't grow up with," Octavia tried to explain to her neighbor that she didn't need to show off her magical powers, she was happy. "Neither of us had a family upbringing. Nick was an abandoned child; he grew up on the street while I moved from foster home to foster home, always returning to my stepfather who was an orangutan. When I first met Nick, he was trying to be an honest man in a filthy, corrupt city. He couldn't read or write but he wanted to and he learned and now he owns a bookstore."

"Only once I used my power to the utmost. When Nick was kidnapped, I used the power of an entire mountain just to bring him home, and I hated it. I hated how it made me feel." Her eyes started to tear up, and she drew herself back together, then said, "No, never again. Together, we made this silly thing with no magic at all!" She snatched Holly up on to her lap and started tickling her daughter to hide her discomfort. She still wakes up in terror from that summer when they took Nick, her brand new husband, away. Her anger and her power were barely controllable. The discworld did not know how close it came to ending.

Ena sat and considered her young friend, not realizing that she didn't like using magic, and wondered what Nick and Octavia would have been like if they had never met. "At first, I didn't even know you had magic. I thought Nick was the magic one because they made all that fuss about him being a witch... and he could turn into a horse."

"And a DRAGON!" shouted Hollie, but she was shushed because of the napping twins.

"He can become all kinds of animals but the Dragon is her favorite," said Octavia as Ena topped off their wineglasses. As the twins snoozed, the friends talked and made plans for dinner. "Bring your Calum over for dinner tonight. We're making, I mean REALLY making, roast beef."

"Not pork?" laughed Ena, "that's sacrilegious." Hogswatch started as the festival where small mountain communities slaughtered and prepared their unneeded boars in preparation for winter {you only need one boar come springtime}. That is why things like small ceramic sausages and hams are hung as decorations on the Hogswatch tree and around the house. On Hogswatch, pork is king.

"I feel daring," grinned Octavia.

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Bear Mountain, Lancre

A little further up the mountain the men were celebrating "Woodpile Wednesday," it's a part of the weeklong Hogswatch celebration that many men participate in, but it mostly applies to rural folks, especially in the mountain regions. In the cities men take the day off from work to drink, in the mountains men take the day off from work to work. Hogswatch is the first day of the year and the start of the deepest part of winter. All the other festivities are exercises to prepare yourself and your family for the coming frigid blast. Woodpile Wednesday was the call to get the last of your firewood in and stacked, ready for those long cold winter nights and men all over the Ramtop mountains were splitting and stacking wood with a fever, the cold sets in tonight and as they worked, they sang the ancient Hogswatch carol:

Limb the log and buck it short, before the winter worsens,

Split the wood and stack it neat, using sweat and iron.

Bringing wood back to your home, warms and feeds the family,

Share the warmth with those in need, on the Hogswatch Eeeeeeve

All spring and summer, Nick and his six-year-old son Marlon cut and split firewood. Some they brought home and stacked neatly behind the cottage, and some wood was left stacked in the woods knowing they would go get it on Woodpile Wednesday. Nick and Marlon loaded it on their farm wagon while the Dwarves, Nick and Octavia's closest friends Axemir and Eryri, stacked wood on their sledge to take down to the gatehouse where they lived when the winter storms cut them off from their mine on the far side of Bear Mountain. The sky was a brilliant blue without a cloud in the sky, but that can change without warning in the Ramtop mountains. "I think we have what we need. Shall we head out?" asked Nick.

"Aye," cried Eryri, and with large metal poles she and her husband Axemir began to pry at the bottom of the frozen sledge until it broke free from the ice that held it fast to the mountain. Nick grabbed the bridal of Kaleb, one of two mules hitched to the wagon to help guide the mules.

Marlon climbed onto the driver's seat, took up the reins and gave them a snap. "Kaleb, Teddi, Ha!" the boy shouted, and the mules began to pull. "Ho mules, pull!" soon the heavy wagon had moved far enough for the rope tied to the back to pay out. It drew up tight and begin to haul the sledge. "Pull mule, pull!" shouted Marlon when the wagon almost stopped, but the mules dug in and soon they were pulling both the loaded farm wagon and the sledge.

"Good job," said Nick with a grin as he guided the mules between the trees and toward the ancient road that will lead them home. He was proud of his son, who is becoming a true mule skinner. The sledge tracked straight behind the wagon so the dwarves didn't have too much work to do, but when they reached the road and started downhill, their job got intense. They didn't want the sledge to break free and slam into Nick's wagon. They had bags of sand to slow down the sledge if they hit ice, and two metal poles to steer the sledge away from the trees. Luckily, there were areas of bare cobblestone in the ancient road that were revealed by the morning sun and those dry patches kept the sledge from sliding free down the face of the mountain.

Starting downhill, Nick swung up on the wagon seat next to Marlon. He was worried about the wagon gaining momentum to the point where the brakes were useless and he didn't want to burn out the brakes, so he operated the brake lever as carefully as possible. As they passed their cottage, Octavia, Hollie, and Ena McCrory stepped out on the porch and waved as they went by. Nick stood and bowed deeply to them with a gallant swipe of his stocking cap. When they reached the cabin where the dwarves stayed, about 50 yards from the cottage, they pulled the sledge right where Axemir wanted it to land. "Perfect! Thank you!" called the dwarf as he stepped off of the sledge.

Nick came back and coiled up the tow rope. He asked quietly, "did you get what I asked for?"

"Here you go," said Eryri, and she produced two large sacks of coal.

"You always bring me the best stuff. Happy Hogswatch!" Nick hoisted the sacks onto the back of the wagon and climbed up next to Marlon. He ruffled his son's unruly hair and said, "take us downtown!" Marlon flicked the reins and they headed into the village of Creel Springs.

"Hogswatch," huffed Axemir as they watched the wagon head down the forest roadway into the village. "Humans will believe anything."

"Yes," agreed his wife Eryri, "but their stories are entertaining and the cookies are quite good."

Even though it was only a mile to the village of Creel Springs, the sky clouded over and the snow was falling gently by the time they pulled into the lot at the base of the hill were Trei Metsker, Ena's father and Nick's friend, made his trade as the village blacksmith. "Happy Hogswatch pops!" Nick called out as he climbed down from the seat and stepped around to the back of the wagon.

"Pops is it now your grace?" called Trei as he turned to see what the interruption was, and there was the Duke of Wægn bringing him two fifty-pound sacks of rock hard bituminous coal. Coal was expensive back in the mountain valleys and Trei was hard pressed to keep enough on hand for his forge. It's good to have a friend who is a dwarf that owns a mine. "Good gawds! For a gift like that, you can call me anything you'd like."

"How about friend?" said Nick as they shook hands.

"Here, to keep you and the lady warm," said Trei as he handed Nick a jug of hard cherry cider.

"Where should I put this, Mr. Metsker?" said Marlon, his arms filled with firewood.

"No, we don't need..."

"Put it over by the house. Miss Erin will figure out what to do with it," said Nick. Trei Metsker and his wife Erin were practically grandparents to Nick and Octavia's children.

Trei shook his head, "were you always such a sucker for Hogswatch day?"

"No," said Nick adamantly as he watched Marlon put the wood on Trei's porch. "Then he was born and everything changed."

"Aye, that's how life works," chuckled the blacksmith.

With a grin, Nick swung back up on the wagon, watching Marlon sprinting back from the house through the swirling snow, a gingerbread hog in his mouth, the cookie was a gift from Trei's wife Erin.

"Where to next?" asked Marlon, as he clung to the tailgate of the wagon.

"We'll head up to Schist Crick and swing around then come back through the village and drop off wood to the needy and the sick, when we reach the Watch House at the other end of the village we'll turn around and drop off wood to anyone we missed." Nick flicked the reins, and they were off, the mules plodding slowly and Marlon clinging to the tailgate of the wagon, his feet sliding on the slippery street.

And so it went for the rest of the snowy afternoon, the Duke of Wægn taking care of his family of Creel Springs, stopping at house after gaily decorated house handing out firewood. As the owner of Nick and Octavia's Books he spread holiday cheer with his fellow small businessmen, at every stop they would leave an armload of firewood, the gift of warmth, and sometimes the gift was returned with a gift of warmth in a bottle. Marlon was given cookies and candies to share with his sister by the grateful neighbors.

When they reached the turnwise end of the village, they dropped off several loads of firewood at the watch-house where the men and woman of the Highway Watch gathered. The watch commander's six-year-old daughter, Annette Prescott, gave Marlon a kiss which he returned. Marlon was 10 months old when Annette was born and he was there at her birth with his dad who delivered her. The tiny Annette's crying scared Marlon who hid behind his mother, but when she stopped crying Marlon went to the bed to investigate. Just ten minutes old, Annette turned and her eyes met Marlon's eyes and they have been in love since that moment.

As the snow swirled and the sky grew darker Annette remembered why her hands were so warm. "Here, for you and your dad," she said and she handed Marlon a special prize just for him and Nick, a small sack of freshly roasted chestnuts which they loved and ate as they worked.

To Nick, the most important stops were with the oldest members of the community, like Sieffre Merrick. Sieffre was one of The Boys that hung around and watched Trei work at the forge. He welcomed a young Nick Stein to Creel Springs almost eight years ago and guided him through the tricky social ways of mountain folk. Sieffre was in his 90s and he wasn't doing well, so Nick left him with two armloads of wood, good solid long burning oak, a ham that he smoked himself, and a bottle of Old Settler's Rye Whiskey to ward off the winter chills. He also visited some of the children that he delivered. It's safe to say that every baby born in Tallywiffle County in the last eight years was delivered by the local witch, Nick Worblehat-Stein. Some of the kids that they visited were older than Marlon, all the while wishing everyone a Happy Hogswatch.

As the afternoon grew dark and snowy, they stacked up what wood was remaining by their bookstore for anyone to take. Then an exhausted Duke of Wægn handed the reins to young Marlon and said, "Let's go home. You drive."

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Grand Central Station, Ankh-Morpork

Catrin and Jutta finally made it to the Ankh Morpork train station and found that a ticket was well beyond their means. "We need to see the Duke of Wægn," they pleaded with the ticket agent, who shrugged and said, "I'm sorry ma'am, that's thirty-five dollars a ticket."

"Is there anything we can do, anything at all?" pleaded Jutta.

Being a kindhearted man, the worst kind of man for any railroad to hire, and it being nearly Hogswatch he said, "Wait a minute," and wrote on a scrap of paper and handed it to them saying, "take this to office number eight, right that way. Hurry before he closes." As he handed the note to them, far in the distance, the glingle glingle glingle of sleigh bells could be heard.

Office number eight was the Ankh Morpork & Sto Plains Hygienic Railway employment office, and in there was a bitter looking old man with slightly crossed eyes and a permanent frown. His name plaque said that he was Mr. Cough. "What do ya want?" he demanded as Jutta and Catrin entered his office.

Catrin gave Mr. Cough the scrap of paper which he studied. "You wish to be train matrons on Number Seven all the way to Hot Dang?"

"Yes, sir."

This was a godsend, the matrons on Number Seven quit last week and he's been looking for replacements ever since. "It's a simple enough job, handing out tea and biscuits and answering questions, helping people with their luggage, assisting the train crew. It may sound easy but you're going to be on your feet and working for ten hours straight. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes, sir."

"Ok, the pay for each of you will be thirty-seven dollars. Be here at four AM to prepare your train for a five o'clock departure." Shocked with the luck that rained on them, Jutta and Catrin backed out of Mr. Cough's office, blessing him. "Don't thank me, you have a job ahead of you, you're going to earn that money."

Jutta and Catrin spent the night waiting in the cavernous terminal. The waiting area was as frigid as it was outside, but at least it wasn't raining under that vaulted roof. They ate the sandwich that Mrs. Whitlow packed for them, then leaning on each other for warmth, they held hands for support and drifted off in a nap. Jutta smiled, remembering that she heard the glingle glingle glingle of sleigh bells when Mr. Cough handed them their temporary employee ID cards showing that they were employees in good stead on the marvel of the entire discworld, the Ankh-Morpork & Sto Plains Hygienic Railway.

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Partridge Cottage, Creel Springs, Lancre

Dinner that night at the cottage known as Nana Partridge's cottage was an affair that witches rarely have, or if they did, they rarely talked about it: a large dinner for friends. The living room became the dining room, furniture was moved and a trestle table was set up for the six members of the Worblehat-Stein family, the dwarves Axemir and Eryri and friends Ena and Calum McCrory who brought their sixteen-year-old son Gavin along with. Hollie fell in love with Gavin and mooned over him for most of the evening.