All Comments on 'Happy Hollowdays Pt. 02'

What an unmitigated disaster this writer is!! Man give the MC a sainthood…and chopped liver pse go and drown urself in a river!! Release ur pathetic soul from the bounds of the spin taht your wimpy self seems to love so much and wraps itself in!!!

TRAGIC!

Please, if you decide to go all wordy and graphomaniac, get an editor. This is third story that is a horrible drag to read even with an interesting premise

Why not just go see a therapist instead of unloading your crap on a prostitute?

She’s got a job to do: get your rocks off. She’s not your mom, your counsellor, your confident. You want that, go see someone else.

I hate stories with the “hooker with a hesrt of gold” Bullshit. She’s been taken to pound town often enough that it’s a fucking job, that’s why you pay her.

She doesn’t care how good looking you are, she’ll compliment you, brag about your prowess to you because she knows to stroke your ego. That’s it. You’re just a paycheque to her.,

Well I sure hope Jill has a little sister, to be introduced next chapter. Because if this is the end it’s a real downer….

what a waste of time for a guy feeling sorry for himself get a life please dont write anymore

Not sure if it went from bad to worse!

5

What a pussy please stop writing

I love stories that work a very strong emotional and psychological evaluation into the antagonist and protagonist but in this the efforts grinds instead of flows. It is an interesting thesis but the author is trying too hard to delve the depths of love and betrayal. The story fractures on the elements being used to drive the emotional revelations.

This awful, what a wimp

depressing so DEPRESSING

Your story is now unique in my experience on this site. So you have hooked me for the time being. I have no complaint about the structure or the composition, and I am anxious to know what comes next. That is as it should be. I hope you don’t disappoint. *****

What a pathetic loser

You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.

You can be happy and you can carry on with life without forgiving those who have hurt you. In fact, that heartbreak and anger can be used as a catalyst to drive you to do more good in life for yourself and others. The ability to have the life we want, at the level of positivity we desire, despite our past hurts, is a goal worthy of itself.

Oh god, this is painful to read. Not because its sad but because your protagonist is a person who cant be loved. Someone who doesnt respect himself wont ever be respected by someone else. A guy who takes everything that life throws at him and then also turns his other cheek to get hit even more is just pathetic. I know people with self-esteem issues. Most of those people feel that way because they were once hurt by other who had the ability to destory their self-esteem. This guy, he didnt have those issues after the fact but before and knows it. Problem is, he doesnt see it as a flaw or issue but as a laudable character trait. 'His best friend and fiancee fuck him over? No problem, he will still love them like before because he doesnt see himself as worthy. He even thinks that they are a better fit.' Think about how fucked up this line of thought is for a mentally healthy person. His whole concept how relationship work is warped and plain wrong. Even strangers dont think there should be any respect towards him. To copy a line out of the story: "Sorry fella. Gosh that's some reward I gave you." Gary apologized standing over me trying to help as I tried to wave him off. "Oh, he's used to that," Jill said with sympathetic eyes. "Tim's used to getting kicked for doing the right thing." Even Jill doesnt think he deserves any respect. Because "He is used to that". She did nothing other than cling to her ex-husband the whole time, not even asking if hes okay or trying to help him after he got hit. Just mocking him with her words, even if unintended. And with that we get back to my opening, if you dont respect yourself no one else will. I really hope you have some character reformation in the store for this story, because the whole thing becomes laughable. Part 1 was already bad, but this one tops even the first part in how pathetic the protagonist is.

Much better flow than the first chapter, liked it a lot. Very emotional, and the main character HAS character, along with morals and principles. Yes, it got a little wordy at times, but seemed much more controlled. Thanks. (I do think he could have gotten a hug from Jill, at least)

Well written, though I have to echo some complaints from other commentary- big parts were just too wordy. And in the end Jill left him alone and broken, too. With as destroyed as she knew he was, she saw what she wanted and barely looked back - even though ( like before ) He delivered her to what she wanted. I guess he'll get a Christmas card from her too saying..I know I left you broken and alone, but I'm happy now, thanks!

Some sort of ending or epilogue would be appreciated.... after Christmas when his family gets home and realizes he was alone. Something to inject a little happiness.

Jeez, what a pathetic worm this guy is. Plus, he loves playing the victim card. Just loves it. Why hire a hooker when you want to treat her like she's your therapist FFS. Any real hooker would think you were a certifiable nut case, not some knight in shining armour. Everything about this guy just makes me want to vomit.

He's a good man, but still have an uneasy feeling about where he's headed. He's way too concerned about Andy's well-being. Some pain for Brenda and Andy would be a very good thing. Rita, the idiot counselor too!

Once again some real gems in your writing (although this time I would definitely agree with you that it could use some tightening as it drags on in places). Particularly loved this bit:

"My love for her is a living thing that has to die. It was good and kind and doesn't deserve this death. And it's so ingrained in me, that it's trying to take me with it as it goes."

Okay, cons: retreaded themes to the point of annoyance, stilted, professorial dialogue, and long soliloquies instead of scenes.

Pros: more than enough angst and emotion to keep the reader engaged, which overrides the cons.

Here’s my two cents, which is just a preferential thing: it’s obvious where’s this is going. It’s gonna end in what I call a “shrug”. Meaning, all parties will ultimately be okay with each other, but the protagonist isn’t going to get back with the woman, or the woman/friend won’t really suffer more than vague senses of guilt (that wil go away once forgiveness comes).

Nice and realistic? Sure. Engaging and memorable? Not a chance. Maybe I’m wrong about my assumption, but I’ll bet money I’m not.

It was easily within his reach to destroy both of them. He shoulda done it. He would feel better. A simple Christmas card with 'Fuck you both!' would have been a good start. Maybe a nice note to say how his hatred of both of them had kept him going the whole time. Take an ad out n the local paper. D

Pretty rude (and not very believable) for Gary and Jill to leave him sitting there in the snow after what he did for them.

A powerful Story. 5 stars for a Very Realistic Story of the heartache of the Holiday Season. The Holiday Season where everyone is supposed to happy with loved ones. But what if you don't have any loved ones that care about you? What if your Wife has run off with your best friend like in this story? What if you make a drunken mistake like in this story? There are so many sad stories in life. All we can do is TRY not to be the cause of other people's pain. Your best friend, that has no pressure in how he talks to your wife. Who always can flirt harmlessly with your wife. Who she gets to know and trust is your worst enemy. Believe me, when your wife leaves with your best friend, who do you go to for support? There is No One. You are alone, just like in this story. It is the most devastating moment of your life when that is done to you. I thank the Lord, that I have NEVER stolen my best friends wife or gal. I have done a lot of rotten things, that I regret. It isn't much, but at least I haven't done that. Great Story, Great writing. thanks

Please get help. Anyone with this big a humiliation fetish is in real danger. While you write decently, there is a lot of “flogging a dead horse”. Try very hard not to constantly repeat yourself, it’ll vastly improve your writing and your readers interest level.

I'm pretty sure this guy should just off himself.

Wow... once again an agonizing emotional ride (or read). I dearly hope that his resolve to let his love go yields results.

Thanks for writing and sharing!

Wow... once again an agonizing emotional ride (or read). I dearly hope that his resolve to let his love go yields results.

Thanks for writing and sharing!

What a complete pussy. It has been 6 months and yet you went over it like 50 times in this story, get past it you winey bitch. No wonder the cunt dumped you!

Gee … after all those laments about how everyone in Nearly Hubby’s sphere treats him as a tangent, I was expecting (maybe hoping) for Jill and Gary to find him leaning against his tire as they left their place next morning. Ooops! I was pretty convinced NH had been widely and deeply shat upon (and that he was unhappy about it) after Ch1 and reminded of that in Ch2 (which also expanded his sphere of shit-uponners by two.)

3* very little of any theme-progress in Ch2…Just whining. Conscious? or Conscience?

His reactions, and more importantly justifications, to Andy and Brenda’s actions defy any logic no matter how many words you use to justify them. I’m all about giving you leeway to build a plot in your own story, but the Brenda, Andy, and his triangle is fundamentally broken. I really enjoyed the core of this chapter and turning his pain not salvation for Jill, so good one there. The rest is a mess. Looks like chapter 3 awaits, I just hope you clean up his character to something any of us could relate to or sympathize with. 3*

Couldn’t care less about the main character, he was a loathsome whiner. 2 stars.

The world would be a better place if this guy had a pair of balls.

The author paints a pretty good picture with words and so far so good. I really hope he gets to move on and find someone else since he is so young but I have a feeling that there will be some sort of reconciliation in the end. Best LW endings are when the cheated on spouse gets a happy ending and living well while the cheater suffers from remorse or guilt. The writing is pretty superb here tho...

Congratulations, no likeable characters in the entire story. This character so proudly wears his victimhood it is not possible to have any empathy for him, as he is seemingly incapable of helping himself in any situation. The writing is cripplingly repetitive and story fails to progress after 2 chapters. Quit now.

Suffering is bad. Bearing up and through suffering is good, strong. But suffering is bad, and to be avoided. There is No Virtue in suffering. People who live lives of suffering and self deprivation, like some religious order of fanatics, are mentally ill. Philosophers seek truth, and sometimes that requires experiencing pain. But to seek pain and suffering as some form of absolution, revelation, religious purification is not only sick, but a violence to the intellect and the soul. Its also reverse arrogance. Oh, look at me, I'm the best god-damned lost soul you'll ever see. Wow, maybe its a fetish?

/

Again, the best friend saved his ass from a hollow soulless woman. Who else could betray with such sudden and cruel efficiency? You know some people suffer just for the Hell of it. Misery really is optional. Enjoy your cup of tea, I guess. Ridiculous, but thanks for the effort.

'"It's just, well, I still care for her extremely much, and I'm desperate to minimize it. Her loving Andy more than me doesn't mean I automatically start loving her any less. My love for her is a living thing that has to die. It was good and kind and doesn't deserve this death. And it's so ingrained in me, that it's trying to take me with it as it goes.,'

.

So very well put. Don't think you could write it if you haven't been there. Thank you for distilling it and pouring it back out for us.

.

LWlurker

Part 3, does he find someone to care for him? Do Andy and Brenda do anything that shows them to be more them common pond scum?

cucks get one star, even if they arent the MC

Well, pt 2 was, if possible, a bigger disappointment than pt 1.

You may tell this story beautifully with many words, but you know what makes it unbelievable for me? A 23-year-old young man whose fiancée has been stolen by his best friend and who cannot cope with this dilemma works as a psychotherapist for an escort girl. That doesn't add up.

Way to woke, new age or whatever. The MC just gets more ridiculous.

The ghost of Matt Moreau has come back to haunt us in the shape of choppedliver. God save us from more cuck-justifying bullshit!(in the name of "realistic stories" of course)

You still have to many words, you still keep saying the same things again and again

Beta male problems.

No wonder wimp boy got his woman taken out from under him.

so now it is this loser's job to SAVE the hooker.?

You are amazingly repetitive. Same thing over and over with different words. Half as long would suffice.

Your style of writing is frustrating. Sorry, going to give this up. 1*

There's a story in there. Possibly a pretty good one. You have successfully buried it with that massive torrent of over-wrought navel gazing verbiage. I quit. Find a tough editor next time.

What escort in her right mind would use her real name?

Fiancée not Fiancé, I am sure there were other issues, story tightened up but still seems to be a lot of self indulgent whining.

For a dude, the MC is more loquacious than a Shakespeare's soliloquy

⭐ blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. The end.

Lot of.long internal monologuing. Gary was a moron for dumping his wife for a drunken one night tryst that she confessed to but had little memory of. Only insecure cowards go through all of that. Yeah they "tried" but in the end divorced and then no contact for a year as wx wife is about to self immolate. Of course she has mental issues of depression wanting to self flagellate herself for her sins. To be fair while highly contrived and more than a tad implausible, their mini story is better than thr MC having long internal discussions about Brenda hsi bitchy ex-fiancée. Personally I woukd be initially upset but happy I dodged a bullet. However, Andy my so-called "best friend", well that would merit some payback even if delayed. Best friends don't do that. That is a harsher betrayal than Brenda in some ways. Brenda is a faithless slut. Andy is the snake in the garden.

Was there a story somewhere buried in the mass of words?

Ah come on. I liked it. Thanks.