Hard Mercy

They came huffing into view and with relief I saw that no one from the town had dared to pursue. Swinging back to cover my back, I scanned the area, but nothing moved in the dark.

Sounding completely overcome Pastor stumbled to his knees nearby and let go of the two kids he had carried free of the town. I swung my rifle over my shoulder, but thought better of it as I saw a boy of about twelve reach down to pick up a fallen machete and then with it gripped tensely turn to stare back at the town now brightly illuminated in the night by the church engulfed in flames.

"Here put that thing down." I said, approaching the boy and extending him my rifle.

He took it from me with shock and I said, "Just pull the trigger and it will go boom. You take up the rear and you shoot anything that moves you hear me?"

The boy nodded white faced and quickly moved back to the rear of the group. He had the fine makings of a soldier or at the very least a survivor.

I slung my 50 up off the ground and reloaded it. Holding it level at my waist with one hand, I extended the other down to the still out of breath man who had fought so hard to give these kids a chance.

Wearily Pastor took my hand and I pulled him up to his feet. Our eyes met and dimly we nodded at each other as if in confirmation of the common knowledge of the war we were in for from this moment onward.

"Alright everyone, this way." I said, as I began to lead the group off through the moonlit darkness for home even as the last vestige of civilized order burnt to the ground in the town behind us.

They would be after us soon enough. While they had plenty to eat for the moment the evil nature that they had given place to wouldn't be satisfied for any longer than a few passing moments.

The farm was not safe, indeed nowhere would be safe for us, but at least if we were on the move, then there was at least something better in terms of a chance happening to benefit us in terms of going in our favor. I'd let the kids sleep for a few hours once we reached the homestead, but before the sun was up we would be moving on.

It was too cold towards the North, nothing to the South appealed to me and from eyewitness accounts the West was even worse than the town that lay behind me. That left the East.

It was all that was left in terms of an option and dying of cancer right now didn't seem like such a compromise as opposed to being chewed upon by my own kind.

~~~~~~~

The night wore on and it took longer than I had thought it would to reach the house and when we did no light greeted us. I held the group up and listened, but I heard nothing.

Fear began to eat away at my insides as if it was an animal bent on destroying me.

"Stay here!" I ordered gruffly, as I made my way forward through the gloom of late night.

At any moment I expected to be pierced through by a scalp hunter's arrow, but the night remained eerily silent. I made my way through the gate that hung open into the yard surrounding the house.

A breeze drifted across the yard and with it a telltale tuft of white hair. I stopped and let my gaze follow along to where I made out the bloody and mostly picked clean carcass of what had once been Robbie.

Most of him was gone and all that remained was hair and bones. Cold sweat squeezed from my pores and with dread I stepped out toward the darkened house that bore the evidence of smashed windows and a general air of disruption of what had once been good.

Stepping inside with my finger on the trigger I stepped over upturned chairs and debris laying all about upon the floor. The room had been torn apart and from my view, all vestige of food in the kitchen was gone.

The floor was littered with broken glass and my boots crunched through it as I made my way through it and stepped into the bedroom. The room was dark, but my eyes saw no sign of the remains of a body.

Relief was far from me though. Where was JaLin?

I left the bedroom and made my way upstairs only to find more destruction, but the absence of JaLin or any sign of her. Going back downstairs, I reentered the bed-room.

Going to the bed, I let my rifle fall onto it. I lost it then and crashing down onto my knees beside the bed, I felt the intense pain of a loss too great as to ever be put into words as my body was wracked by deep sob after sob.

Reaching out I grabbed her pillow up and burying my face in it, I breathed in the smell of her and I cried all the harder.

"Oh God kill me now! I... it would be a mercy!" I begged through my tears.

The floor squeaked behind me and the routine of training took over and one-handed I swung the rifle up as I spun around prepared to fill whatever it was with bullets, but there was nothing. The floor squeaked again and blinking I swung the barrel of the rifle to a spot where the floor was moving!

It was my ammo cache spot!

Crawling across the floor I ripped away the snug fit-ting boards of the cache location to take in the sight of JaLin completely folded over on herself in an impossibly tiny space.

"Oh God!" I exclaimed, as I pulled her out of the hole that I wouldn't have thought large enough for even a small child to fit into let alone a woman of her size. Not only that, but she'd been like this for hours!

Coming unfolded in my arms, she breathed in deeply with a gasp and stretched out as much as she could, all the while trembling with what I recognized as pain. I could only imagine how she felt. Glancing at the tiny hole I puzzled on the fact of how she'd even closed the floor boards back over top of herself.

I rubbed at her back and legs as she sat on the floor beside me and all the while I thanked God over and over again that she was alive. Having recovered her breath and some degree of mobility she turned her head to me and with tears falling she whispered, "Robbie."

Nodding my head, I pulled her to me as my own tears fell.

"He fight hard." She said brokenly before adding, "Gave me time."

I nodded and kissed the top of her head. Gathering her to me, I got up.

With her face buried against my neck I made it to the bed and awkwardly picked up my rifle. Managing it and her I headed for the door.

Along the way out of the house I said, "What do you think about us naming our first boy Robbie?"

She breathed out the word for yes in her language against my neck even as she kept her eyes averted from anything she might see in the yard. I made it to Pastor and the children and Pastor shouldered the big 50 for me.

Without a word said I led the way off towards the East all the while gaining strength from each breath of having the sensation of my woman alive and well in my arms. Hours went by and now she walked by my side, but still we traveled on as the sun rose in the sky.

We walked due East through the abandoned country-side seeing no one and that was good, because my tendency of the moment right now was to shoot first and ask questions later. That was one of the problems with the war to survive. It had a tendency to make monsters of us all.

Chapter Eight

"Say it!"

Cradling the heavy 50 in my arms I scouted ahead as the group of children rested back behind me. Our needs were simple.

We needed water and secondarily food as the vandals had left nothing alive in my raised planting beds. Typical of humanity gone over the edge to destroy the very plants that could have born them even more food if left alive.

Although our needs were simple they were becoming increasingly dire by the moment. Thankfully though I had an outlet to express my needs.

"God, Your Word says you know what our needs are before we do so... well... help please."

I crested over the top of a ridge and glanced down with surprise at what lay below me. I stood still and watched long and thoughtfully upon the abandoned looking homestead located below.

A pond of water stood off to the one side of the house and offered the promise of fulfillment for the raging thirst I had acquired. I stayed where I was though in indecision.

Finally, I expressed my fears to my Creator, "Is it safe?"

"Yes, son." Came an affirming response from within my soul, but not willing to be tricked at this stage of the game I tested the voice by Scripture to ascertain that I wasn't being tricked because to me there seemed to be a demonic theme to the personification of darkness that I beheld in almost everything these days. My doubts, how-ever were cast aside though as I received confirmation that I was indeed speaking to a representative of the Spirit of God and I headed back for the others, even as a warmth from within spilled throughout me and said, "Well done son."

~~~~~~~

JaLin's mouth was dry, but looking over at Pastor she wouldn't be denied from speaking any longer as to what she knew had occurred. She wanted to make sure.

Reaching over she shook his shoulders slightly and tiredly, his eyes opened with alarm.

"No, no, nothing to fear. I... I want to talk. May I?" JaLin asked respectfully.

Pastor Joseph straightened up from leaning back against a rock and said fluently within her own language, "Of course you can."

She looked away, but then back to him as a bubble of joy lit her up from within, "Last night I prayed to your God. I know He is God. I know this. I didn't know though if He wanted me. I thought maybe He would as why would He give me to such a good man like Adam and... but anyway..." JaLin paused as remembered angst came back to her in full force.

Pastor Joseph put a consoling hand over top of hers and squeezed and suddenly very emotional JaLin met his kind gaze and said, "I thought I would die! I had to hide and the only place they not look would be in the floor and so I tried to fit into the space, but I couldn't! I couldn't!!" She pressed heavily in exclamation and Pas-tor nodded knowingly.

"I prayed. Not to my people's false god, but to Adam's God and God's Son Jesus. I..." JaLin's voice trailed off and Pastor pressed, "What happened next JaLin?"

Wiping at her eyes that felt like they should be crying, but lacked the moisture to do so she said, "The wood moved. It moved and I fell into the spot like I was made smaller and yet I'm still my size. I'm too big to have fit into the floor!"

Pastor nodded, smiling and asked, "Is that all?"

"No, the floor piece slid over top of me and clicked down into place. I never touched it. It was so tight in the hole. I couldn't breathe and then the Man, Jesus, He came to me somehow and He said, "I'll breathe for you JaLin. Tomorrow I want you to complete your journey, but for now I'm here and I love you and you're going to be all right." I felt such peace at His saying of that and truly I don't remember anything else until I heard Adam's voice in the bedroom."

Then moving onto her knees before Pastor she asked, "What is it I should do now? I know your God is real. I want to serve Him like you and Adam do. I want His Spirit in me like Adam has and like I see in your eyes. What do I do?"

Pastor took her hands in his and said, "Well JaLin it's actually very simple. You believe in Jesus, that He is God's only begotten Son?"

"I do."

"Do you know when Jesus died for you on a cross a long time ago that when He did so He took your sins and everyone else's to the grave, but that after three days' time He rose from the grave because death couldn't conquer Him?"

"I believe you. I've seen him. He could do anything!" JaLin said earnestly.

"Well then, even as Jesus died for your sins, will you confess yourself as a sinner and ask Him to forgive you and for His Father's Holy Spirit to come into you and make you forever from now on a child of God and an heir to spending all of eternity in His Father's presence forever more?"

"I do!" JaLin said emotionally.

"Say it." Pastor encouraged.

"I want you Jesus! Please forgive me for everything I've done wrong. I want you! I need Your Father's Spirit like I see it in Adam! Please save me, teach me, and make me Yours for forever!"

Pastor was smiling and squeezing her hands as she dissolved into tears of joy he said, "Your His now JaLin! Nothing can ever separate you from His love for you! Not death, no, not anything! Your story no longer ends at the grave. You're free JaLin. Free!"

Crying as the full knowledge of that swept through her JaLin pressed her hands to her face and cried joyfully as the children looked on with teary-eyed faces that be-spoke of the joy that they shared with JaLin because they too because of Pastor's example to them along with his many prayers on their behalf had come to the saving knowledge of Jesus. Even though the conversation had taken place in a language different from their own they full well comprehended what had just occurred and de-spite their tiredness they pressed close and hugged their arms about JaLin and Pastor.

Pastor Joseph looked upwards to the bright sky over-head and in English said, "It's going to be a great day! Wouldn't you agree Adam?" He said at the last, glancing over at me to where I stood as a silent witness to the ex-change that had occurred between him and JaLin and I nodded my head as tears of my own streaked down my face.

"Yes Sir! It certainly is!" I affirmed.

JaLin's head picked up at the sound of my voice and rising up, she waded through the children until she got to me. Her arms swept around me and I hugged her to me fiercely.

We stood that way for a long moment as more joy than I had known in a long time seemed to inflect the day with its cheer as it washed away all the horrors of the night and the days of our time. Tipping her head back, she gazed up at me out of those beautiful almond shaped eyes of hers and haltingly said in English, "I love you, Adam."

I'd heard her say, 'I love you', in her language to me many times as I had lain partially asleep at night and doing my very best to replicate the sounds of her oft repeated phrase at night, when she thought I was asleep, I said, "I love you."

To my own ears, I'd totally botched the tonal frequencies of her language, but she knew and with a desperate cry, she pulled on my shoulders and I lifted her so that we could kiss and for a moment her love for me to-tally dominated the kiss, until I showed her with equal desire that I felt just the same about her. If the children hadn't been present we would've celebrated love and new spiritual life in an entirely different fashion, but as it was we contented ourselves with the knowledge of the life that we would spend with each other from this day forward.

Knowing now best of all that death no longer held any sway over our futures and so if we had a week, an hour, or a hundred years it didn't matter. We had right now and thanks to Jesus we didn't have to fear the eternity to follow.

Life had never been fuller or sweeter than it was in this moment and I thanked God intensely for it over and over in my spirit as I continued to hold onto the priceless gift from a Father who knew what I needed most of all. Even in the midst of the hell of our circumstances His eternal will reigned supreme and in no way had it been overcome.

Chapter Nine

Reality Check

I felt along the wire as I traced it to its source within the engine compartment. Thankfully, my fingers encountered nothing but cobwebs and old grease.

The wire was intact. That at least made one for once.

I pulled my arm out of the engine compartment. Picking up a rag I stepped back from the Mustang and surveyed my handiwork.

I'd had to replace most of the wiring as mice had made piecemeal of things underneath the hood, but theoretically things should work now. I'd changed the oil yesterday, along with the gas.

The oil really hadn't needed to be changed, but the supplies were available and so why not. Indeed, it had been nice to do something of such a former pastime as working on a car again with the pursuit to drive it.

It wasn't the only thing I wanted to drive though. Reaching forward I took the hood extension rod down and snapped it flat into place and then I let the hood slam down.

With the hood closed I turned my back to the car and faced my silent admirer, who had perched herself on top of a barrel nearby. She smiled and eyed me over speculatively as I continued to wipe my hands off on the rag.

I had never known or even heard of the existence of this place that lay within a two-day walk of my own place and yet there was good reason for it. It was a bug out homestead.

There wasn't even a noticeable road other than a leveled off dirt path leading away from this place. The house and the shed were fully stocked with all the food and necessities needed to make it in a grid down situation and to some degree quite luxuriously.

Whoever had set this place up hadn't made it though and for the past two years or so it had sat here waiting. Waiting to fulfill a desperate need in a feat of God appointed timing that was undeniable.

I had not ceased to praise God for the provision of this place and truly a stockpile of food capable of lasting years, if managed correctly. It was exactly what Pastor and the kids needed.

In short, this place bought us some time, but I wasn't satisfied with that alone. I needed to know if things further out were as bad as I had been told that they were.

To that end, I intended to explore and test the waters so to speak. I wanted to do it alone, but JaLin wouldn't have it.

She'd broken through my hard reserve to her coming along yesterday by stating in English, "You live, I live. You suffer, I suffer. You die, I die. You go, I go!"

I'd given it up then. There was simply no denying a plea played on the heartstrings such as that.

Speaking of hearts I idly took in the way her nipples were peaked hard against the shirt she wore. Her breasts were small, but I didn't care. They were still quite fun to play with and highly responsive.

I reached out an oil stained hand and rubbed it over one of them possessively and had the satisfaction of watching her eyes blink closed for a moment. They opened again with a ready fire within them to experience more and I was helpless to fight against the urge to make her passions come true.

I glanced toward the shed's access door only to have my eyes drawn back to JaLin as she held up a key in the air. I smiled wolfishly and stepping close I bent my head to hers and whispered, "You little vixen you! You want me that bad do you?"

She nodded her head emphatically before then kissing me. I kissed her back even as I let my hands slide down her back to squeeze over her perfectly rounded little bot-tom.

I picked her up and her arms and legs closed around me. I then carried her through the garage a short distance never breaking the kiss with her and then I laid her down.

Her eyes opened as our lips parted and with a bit of a smirk she took in the fact that I had just laid her down on the hood of the Mustang. I grinned right back at her as I pulled her shoes off and then her tight jeans along with her T-shirt.

I'd always wanted to do this with a girl and now I got to do it with my girl. She wore a dazed expression of wanton desire as I pressed her legs up and apart even as I kneeled down onto the concrete floor.

The floor was hard, but I didn't care. The experience of doing this was worth it.

My mouth descended upon the slick wetness that her womanhood already was and I took my fill of her as I sought to drive her to a fever pitch of wanton need. Moaning and twisting about upon the hood, she accepted the strokes of my tongue upon her and when she was breathing heavy and almost over the edge I stopped.

She moaned in anguish and chuckling I got up and undid my pants. Her passioned eyes took in the desire for her that I always had before they rose to my eyes with open want for all I had to offer.

I grasped her ankles and slid her lower down on the hood until her bottom was poised slightly over the edge. I split her legs apart and rested them against my shoulders as I bent down over her and placed my oily hands to either side of her on the car hood.